Tumor / SCC: Defying the Odds with Hospice Care - Living with a Terminally Ill Loved One, I share w

[2Cats4everLoved]

Simon's Diary:  "Our Bittersweet Journey...the long goodbye"  Day by Day

So I'm thinking this Sweet Kitty 'O Mine, has more than 9 lives. 

Simon is letting me feed him very watered down high protein food along with lots of water.  Still not ideal and his days are numbered but I'm hoping at this point so far, a "last" trip to the vet won't be necessary.  

At the suggestion of @Red Top Rescue  and my vet, I have extra Buprenex on hand in case Simon starts crying out.

So many changes have happened since May 9th making my next entry to Simon's Diary filled will both productive fun moments and moments of doubt and sadness.

I've always been honest with the development of this horrible tumor attacking my sweet boy and I want to choose my words carefully, as not to be too emotional, which last night I was a wreck.  I need to write with a clear head and be honest as possible without emotions totally taking over, as the purpose of this Diary was to help others in need of support, guidance and inspiration.

I've taken many photos documenting the journey and need to sort through them and make sure they are safe in the cloud in case my computer betrays me again.

Some pictures I have taken are sweet, cute and also jarring.  This oral cancer attacking his jaw turned extremely ugly within what seemed like hours, but, I still would have done things the same, with the exception of getting the Buprenex earlier.  

I did have a private chat with @nerdgirl5  yesterday.  Since she just picked up sweet angel Lamont's ashes, I told her of my biggest dilemma which is in the end, should we do a private cremation or trust in the people caring for my boys body, to take them on their word that we are getting Simon's remains back. @nerdgirl5  bought up a good point - "Trust the people, you don't want that to be the last memory you see of Simon" - I think I am going to do just that, trust the Pet Funeral Home.  Thanks again NG5...

Below are a couple of throw back pictures of my sweet boy enjoying  life long before...

tissue.PNG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• May 26, 2016

  

above, a box, scratcher and tissue paper makes for one happy kitty.  Feb-2010

blanket fort.PNG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• May 26, 2016

Simon enjoying his blanket fort during snow storm. March 2010

More to come...

 

[donutte]

I'm tearing up after reading that and smiling at the beautiful pictures (omg, the smile on his face in that second picture!). I'm also amazed with your strength in doing this, because trust me, it does take a strong person to take care of a very sick kitty. I'm sorry he's started to take what sounds like a not-so-good turn, but so glad you had those two wonderful weeks.

 

[nerdgirl5]

You have my {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  and support through all of this.  So glad I could help.  And glad Simon, at least, is taking a little food, even if it's watered down. Ultimately, I was grateful for every last moment I got to spend with Lamont. You are a wonderful, caring cat mommy.  

 

[maggiemay]

Thinking of you and Simon.  I went to the pet oncologist with my daughter and her kitty today.  A plaque in the treatment room said it all, "Real love has no endings."  .....hugs

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

I have a question.....  Buprenex...

While Simon has had his Buprenex, and drank about a cup of water, and 1/4 cup of food, he keeps following me around.  He used to nap after eating and drinking.

He's not crying out, wagging his tail or seems distressed.  I had introduced him to a new water "game" to get him to drink, and he wants non stop playtime.

My question is does the Buprenex effect them differently after long term use.  He used to nap, but now he gets wound up.  Is my kitty now an official junkie?

@Red Top Rescue  and anyone else  out there who has with this drug...  What are your thoughts.  

Does he know time is near?  It's freaking me out.  Or is it just about wanting to play.  

He reminds me of a 2 year old who keeps saying "do it again, do it again..."

 

[stewball]

Hi everyone, 

Simon is good and I can't wait to share the stories and events for the past 2 weeks.  I figured out some new tricks. And he learned some new games as well, which gave him confidence.  So cute.

We did hit a snag today, but I just gave him his buprenex and he's finally sleeping soundly.

My laptop is being rebuilt and I personally find it frustrating to type on my tablet with 2 fingers. Lol

Plus, this tablet isn't cooperating with my hot flashes, lol I put my fingers near screen and the screen goes berserk, then when the chills set in, my fingers are so cold nothing opens.

Hubby said my computer will be running by days end tomorrow.   Thanks for thinking of us.  

More updates, hopefully tomorrow.

May your flashes finish soon. Hugs.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
I have a question.....  Buprenex...

While Simon has had his Buprenex, and drank about a cup of water, and 1/4 cup of food, he keeps following me around.  He used to nap after eating and drinking.

He's not crying out, wagging his tail or seems distressed.  I had introduced him to a new water "game" to get him to drink, and he wants non stop playtime.

My question is does the Buprenex effect them differently after long term use.  He used to nap, but now he gets wound up.  Is my kitty now an official junkie?

@Red Top Rescue  and anyone else out there who has with this drug...  What are your thoughts.  

Does he know time is near?  It's freaking me out.  Or is it just about wanting to play.  

He reminds me of a 2 year old who keeps saying "do it again, do it again..."

So I just tied a hankerchief around the tub faucet so a small stream of water trickles off to the side.  Simon once again is drinking on his own.  He has filled up and seems content with his achievement and is now lounging on the kitchen floor watching the sunbeams dance on the walls.  Cute.  I feel like I could catch my breath for a moment, he was quite exhausting.

I'm still curious about the Buprenex.  

With him content, I can get back to writing. LOL  

 

[red top rescue]

Buprenex affects different cats different ways, and you never know what to expect.  Some of them, particularly the boys, get really clingy.  (I have never used it long term, only post surgery or post injury).  I have read from two different people on this site that their cats got very hyper and stimulated.  It sounds like Simon can go either way, because sometimes he has gone to sleep and other times (now) he is stimulated.  I suspect that when they go to sleep, it is because they had pain before and when it went away, they were relieved and went to sleep because they could.  If Simon isn't in any particular pain and now just gets his doses regularly because he would suffer if you stopped giving it altogether, then perhaps it is making him feel GOOD as opposed to just okay.  If the stimulation seems too much, you can always cut the dose in half.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Buprenex affects different cats different ways, and you never know what to expect.  Some of them, particularly the boys, get really clingy.  (I have never used it long term, only post surgery or post injury).  I have read from two different people on this site that their cats got very hyper and stimulated.  It sounds like Simon can go either way, because sometimes he has gone to sleep and other times (now) he is stimulated.  I suspect that when they go to sleep, it is because they had pain before and when it went away, they were relieved and went to sleep because they could.  If Simon isn't in any particular pain and now just gets his doses regularly because he would suffer if you stopped giving it altogether, then perhaps it is making him feel GOOD as opposed to just okay.  If the stimulation seems too much, you can always cut the dose in half.

Actually after I wrote that he came looking for me again.  Getting into mischief, jumping on my husbands desk which is a no no.  After I tied the hankerchief around the faucet, he came looking for me.  So then I took it off the faucet, get it wet and squeezed it and he put his tongue on it and drinks.  i thought it was cute, now he wants me in the bathroom every time he drinks. LOL  He reminds me of the twins from The Shining. LOL  every time I turn around he's staring at me watching my every move.  It's creepy. LOL 

I guess I'm happy he's not in pain, I just wish I knew what he wanted.  I usually know exactly what he's thinking.  I think we both need good rest.  Tomorrow's another day.

 

[red top rescue]

I think your using the handkerchief on the faucet made him happy.  With his tongue not working, he probably can't drink in the usual way, and having that available gave him back his power to drink on his own.  Obviously you will need to do that many times in the day now, at least until the novelty wears off.

 

[stewball]

I have a question.....  Buprenex...

While Simon has had his Buprenex, and drank about a cup of water, and 1/4 cup of food, he keeps following me around.  He used to nap after eating and drinking.
He's not crying out, wagging his tail or seems distressed.  I had introduced him to a new water "game" to get him to drink, and he wants non stop playtime.

My question is does the Buprenex effect them differently after long term use.  He used to nap, but now he gets wound up.  Is my kitty now an official junkie?

@Red Top Rescue
 and anyone else out there who has with this drug...  What are your thoughts.  

Does he know time is near?  It's freaking me out.  Or is it just about wanting to play.  

He reminds me of a 2 year old who keeps saying "do it again, do it again..."

At least he's not in any pain poor baby.

 

[red top rescue]

Cats are always in the NOW.  They don't look ahead and think themselves into a tizzy anticipating the future.  Even when they are sick or in pain, they are in the Now of it.  We can learn from them. 

 

[Margret]

Cats obviously have the concepts of future and past -- hence their ability to ask you to play with them or complain when meals are late.  However, they don't appear to perceive death as we do.  Certainly there is no evidence that they think about their own mortality.  To the best of my knowledge, the only vertebrates who show any evidence of understanding death in something close to the same way humans do are elephants and possibly some of the other great apes.  I suspect that some of the cetaceans may as well, but I know of no research that shows evidence of that.

Margret

 

[stewball]

Cats obviously have the concepts of future and past -- hence their ability to ask you to play with them or complain when meals are late.  However, they don't appear to perceive death as we do.  Certainly there is no evidence that they think about their own mortality.  To the best of my knowledge, the only vertebrates who show any evidence of understanding death in something close to the same way humans do are elephants and possibly some of the other great apes.  I suspect that some of the cetaceans may as well, but I know of no research that shows evidence of that.

Margret

Elephants seen to almost have a religious service when saying goodbye to one of their own. I love elephants.

 

[Margret]

Elephants seen to almost have a religious service when saying goodbye to one of their own. I love elephants.

Yes.  When they run across an elephant skeleton they will caress the skull with their trunks, apparently identifying the particular elephant it came from by shape.  They take the time to grieve and say good bye.

And I've just realized why I suspect that some cetaceans have a sense of mortality -- captured dolphins have been known to deliberately drown themselves.  I'd say that suicide requires a sense of mortality.  As for the other (ie. non-human) great apes, I was thinking of Koko the gorilla, mourning for her kitten.  Every time we learn something new about other great apes we seem to find ourselves needing to redefine what it is that separates humans from animals.  It used to be tool using, until we found that chimps make and use tools, as do some birds and other creatures.  Then it was speech, until we found out that we could teach gorillas to use American Sign Language.  Some people say that only humans have invented warfare, but that also is untrue -- chimpanzees have been known to deliberately wage war on other troops of chimps.

And it's not just apes.  Bower birds are artists.  Whale song appears to be a form of speech.  Some birds know how to count.  Innovations are passed down from generation to generation in ape troops, which implies culture.  The list goes on and on.  Life on this planet is a wonderful thing.

House cats are great, and everyone here loves them, but compared to other animals they're not nearly as intelligent as we'd sometimes like to believe.  On the other hand, do we really want them to be intelligent enough to have a sense of their own mortality?  I don't think I do.  I value intelligence, but I also value purring, and chasing a red dot that always manages to get away, but still coming back to chase it again.  The only thing I'd like to change about cats is their lifespan.

Margret

 

[red top rescue]

 

Elephants seen to almost have a religious service when saying goodbye to one of their own. I love elephants.

Every time we learn something new about other great apes we seem to find ourselves needing to redefine what it is that separates humans from animals.  It used to be tool using, until we found that chimps make and use tools, as do some birds and other creatures.  Then it was speech, until we found out that we could teach gorillas to use American Sign Language.  Some people say that only humans have invented warfare, but that also is untrue -- chimpanzees have been known to deliberately wage war on other troops of chimps.

The only thing that separates humans from animals is the hubris of the human mind.

 

[margd]

How is Simon?  I am afraid to ask but both of you are on my mind.  I hope he's stabilized.  

 

[donutte]

How is Simon?  I am afraid to ask but both of you are on my mind.  I hope he's stabilized.  

Ditto. I'm always checking to see if there is an update that my email forgot to let me know about.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
How is Simon?  I am afraid to ask but both of you are on my mind.  I hope he's stabilized.  

Ditto. I'm always checking to see if there is an update that my email forgot to let me know about.

Hello, Didn't mean to step away for so long.  I've actually been working on bringing Simon's Diary up to date.

We had a moment on Sunday when I wasn't sure if he would see Monday, I think it was in my mind.  For my little buggar head, is alive and kicking.  With the latest bump last week came adjustments and now we've figured things out once again.  Not sure for how long, but this morning, he is drinking lots and even had a bowel movement.

Simon went to lay down on the bed by the window just minutes ago.  And he seems very sleepy, so I was sitting with him.  He's been so awake lately, that I'm hoping this is just a nap...  

The windows are open for the first time in days, and there's a nice cool breeze coming in.  I'm guessing he's just enjoying the fresh air.  His body is still nice and warm, and his tongue which turned a blueish color on Saturday/Sunday is now a healthy pink again.

I think the tumor changed shape again, making life a little easier for him.

I should have the update posted in the early afternoon.

Thanks again, Simon & Hope...

 

[nerdgirl5]

Thank you so much @2Cats4everLoved  !! What a kind gesture!  Truthfully, I was happy to  hear about Simon's rebound, even in the midst of my grief for Lamont. Glad you're back posting everything, but very sad at this latest turn.

As always, know I'm here for you.  And Simon.