Really Mad And Need To Vent Over My Last Colony Cat

[trudy1]

I know whining should be allowed but I’m really pissed so you all get to read my story, if you wish. I just have to put it on paper knowing that won’t make it go away.

Starts about 8 years ago at brother in laws (known as bil for short) where he had these cats who kept producing kittens. Occasionally he would throw out some dry food for them. One day he announces they can’t afford to feed them anymore. Now these people have two farms, over a million in the bank, and NEVER tip over 10%!
So I tnr all 8, kept one of the kittens and fed them every other day for 8 years.
Now to this time frame. They sell their half million house with indoor pool up the road and announce they are building at the barn where the colony has been for 8 years.
I took my carriers and placed 7 of those babies in each carrier to take them to the vet. I cried all day before and cried as I was doing it and cried all the way to the vet. GOD was good, in a way, since all went for “barn cats” but five had been hand fed since birth. So I felt relief but very very sad. No contact with who they went to.
While the building is going on at the barn I’m still feeding Wildie, the most feral of my babies whom I’ve never been able to trap. But I know bil well enough. He is the kind of person who can’t say what he means. He’ll say your wonderful until you pull out of the drive!

 

[maggiedemi]

I remember your story. I didn't know that you were still feeding Wildie. Does your brother-in-law object to you feeding her?

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm glad they had/have you

 

[trudy1]

Hit the wrong #@&%!! Key. So I’m still setting traps and occasionally get males (2) traveling through which I neuter and return to the area.
Today he said “Well leaving all this food out is bound to draw lots of cats”. Interpretation “I getting ready to move in here and I really don’t like your feeding Wildie every other day” Then he says “well I used to see a lot of blue birds around” interpretation “ you cat probably killed them”. Also “the mice are probably all gone from the barn anyway” interpretation I don’t need the cat hanging around”
So tonight I pulled my traps after he left for the day, sat down as close as I could get to Wildie and told her I was sorry, that I couldn’t come back, cried, and there would be no more feeding days.

Sorry this is so long and drawn out but I felt if I didn’t write it down I would explode. I write this because I’ve read you posts and I know some of you will understand.

 

[maggiedemi]

That's so sad. You'd think he'd want at least one cat around to keep the mice away. Maybe he would rather have mice and rats? I wish you could trap Wildie. I also wish we could find out how your other cats are doing. Very sad story. Sorry you had to go through all that. Thank you for helping them as long as you could.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, now I see why you're so upset. She will miss you, but as she sees all the new activity/people/smells, she will understand.

 

[maggiedemi]

I hope she's a good hunter.

 

[maggiedemi]

Sad that a millionaire can't spare some compassion or a few pennies for one little cat.

 

[Willowy]

Look, you can't let passive-aggressive idiots control you. If he doesn't want you there, make him say it explicitly. My policy is, if someone can't say it straight out, they don't really mean it. And Midwesterners tend to be passive-aggressive and never say what they mean, so that means I don't have to listen to anyone around here . Keep doing what you're doing until he has the guts to tell you what he means. He probably never will. You just smile and say "well, you never told me not to"

 

[Furballsmom]

Willowy's right, I'm from "there" too so, yep.

 

[maggiedemi]

Have you ever told him how much the cats mean to you and that this is breaking your heart? Maybe shed a few tears in front of him? Maybe that would melt his ice cold heart.

 

[shadowsrescue]

This just breaks my heart. I just love Willowy's approach. I hope that you can find a way to still feed Wildie. I am thinking and sending good thoughts your way!

 

[trudy1]

No heart to melt...you have to know these people. He needs to “grow a set” as they say so everything is implied. He will tell you nothing about feeding Wildie then in the next breath says” leaving that food out draws cats from all over”. BTW in the 8 years I have only trapped 5 cats passing through the barn area. The wife, your only worthy to be acknowledged if you are a contributor to what she values. Usually money related or a “see me, see me”.

There is no logical solution. Just needed to vent and cry a little, as I do every trip to the barn, for my lost babies who probably didn’t know how to hunt. Then I project ....the farmers probably didn’t supplement feed them, and on and on. Poor Wildie will be lost. The reason I know this is because when I put all those babies in carriers the two I couldn’t catch were Wildie and momma...the original mother of all the kittens. She disappeared after the big removal and showed up about a month later sick and starving....don’t want to discuss that. In my mind just served as probably what happened to all my babies.....I’m just old, sad and having a “pity party”
Thanks for listening

 

[surya]

I'm sorry. ((hugs))

 

[shadowsrescue]

I am so sorry you have to go through this. Family is so hard to deal with. Vent away and shed all of your tears here. I wish there was something we could do for you. I know how very hard this is for you.

 

[kittychick]

I remember your story too! Wasn't it you that had to work frantically bc your bil was going to raze the shed a colony had been using - - - and then you took a/some kitties into a clinic (or vet) with no idea what to do, when someone who'd already left the clinic walked back in and adopted one (or more?) right there? That story was so amazing (hopefully I have the right person!).

This site/forum are wonderful for venting your frustration, sadness, anger, and so on. (Use us - - we've all got broad shoulders!) It's ok - - and more than understandable - - that you'd be upset and worried. And of course it being family makes it worse in every way possible. I think we'd all be in tears. Try to remember how very much good you've done for the kitties there. And take a little (or ALOT of) solace in the fact that you've helped so many - - and the ones that were still there -that they've survived to be 8 years old (or older) is AMAZING! Most ferals don't live past 2 or 3 - - and often, even if fed, they still rarely make it past 5. So you've given them full bellies and the comfort of never being hungry - - far longer than they would have normally!!!

Knowing that they went to homes - - even as barn cats - they'll likely do well, with a roof over their heads and hopefully other animals to buddy up to. So while you'll likely lose touch with them (as regular fosters, we know how hard it is not to know how they're doing), chances are they'll be very, very happy.

I know you've tried so hard to get Wildie - - - -will ANY shelters/humane organization/etc. be willing to help you trap? I've known many people like your BIL, and right now you feel that continuing to care for Wildie there won't be allowed. But is there any way for you to place a small shelter - in a very discreet place - fairly near his old shelter? Emphasize YOU will take care of him - HE won't have to lift a finger. And that having Wildie there will likely keep new ferals from moving in (and they will!)....not to mention he'll probably keep vermin away, making your BIL's place less "mousey"? (although personally, I feel like HE should be put in a box).

No matter what happens - - you've done an amazing job and helped and saved SOOOO many kitties. Let yourself be upset. Let yourself cry. Your love for these guys is so beautiful!

 

[trudy1]

Thanks for everyone reading my rantings and your support (more than I get from my other “family”), I know that they won’t want anybody at 7 in the morning yelling “ Wildie come and eat!”. You see they converted a machine shed next to wildie’s old barn to a two bedroom house...yes you can do anything with money. So two issues really, the presence of an old feral cat who as bil says “ just comes to the barn door, sits and looks out and my schedule of feeding her every other day. Neither of which are satisfactory to them.
If I was just sure she would hunt I could leave her, regretfully, to her fate but I’m not. She was one of the 5 out of the eight who I never saw leave the barn. They were never gone when I came to feed. Some of the others, daddy, momma, long legs, and cutie pie ( yes, I had them all named) would be gone for up to two weeks. But Wildie was never gone...just sat and waited for the “food truck”. She never ate with the others, always off by herself. Then creamy, my dear cream colored male, would call to her and take her back into the barn where I left the kibble for later. They were the best of buds... I know she misses him terribly. There is such a sadness in her eyes now....the colony has been gone now about 7 months since bil annouced the building plans. I knew what was coming, I know she is lonely.....
Tomorrow will be the first time in 8 years I have not been there to call for her and give her ground raw chicken and Super Supper....yes, rain, blinding snows, etc.

 

[maggiedemi]

That is so heartbreaking. Wildie lost her whole family. I wish he could find some kindness is his heart for one little kitty.

 

[Furballsmom]

I literally just thought of this, what if you can get out there and try trapping one more time, if she's hungry enough she might just go for it...

 

[maggiedemi]

Maybe have some professionals help you? There's got to be some way that you can trap her...