Not Fitting In

[rachelh1018]

Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

I am beginning to feel like I'm not fitting in here. I feel like anything I post is wrong or taken the wrong way. Or that I perhaps go to far or not far enough I'm not sure.

I see how everyone else feels the TCS love and I just feel kinda left out of it all. Maybe it's my personality. I'm just feeling like I don't fit in once more.

Part of it may well be that I'm overcompensating for a depression that I'm trying hard to fight and in doing so the things I'm saying are not interesting, enlightening, or just plain stupid.

I just I don't know. I don't feel like I fit in here on TCS.

I feel the same way. I suffer with depression too. Perhaps it is lack of self confidence? I always have felt that I don't fit in. Sometimes I feel like I don't even fit into this world. Kind of like an outcast.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

Sorry my sense of humor button is malfunctioning today.

Well I need to talk to someone I guess...so if you don't mind I might just keep on droning on and on......I've got so much on my mind after all that's happened to us in the last couple months, well month and a half....so things have been hard and difficult...and I just don't know the and...actually.

I don't mind at all. Like someone else said on the thread earlier - I think it was IloveSiamese - I look out for your threads. I think at a good few of us do.

I can't speak for anyone else, but if talking helps, I don't mind listening one bit. (At the risk of sounding like I might be talking for other people, I think though that other people have said the same thing). Cat Site Stare!

((For those up late or with a malfuntioning sense of humour, or born at the wrong time) that was a play on Care Bear Stare. So there!)

(It is meant to be especially funny because cats don't like being stared at).

(Yes, I know I think too much).

 

[dixie_darlin]

Hey, cheer up. At least you're not getting extra "cheese" on your pizza

 

[miagi's_mommy]

Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

everyone feels that way once in a while

dont worry.

I agree.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by lunasmom

You don't seem too out of place here.

I sometimes feel that way too...like I'm a misfit here and am on everyones ignore list (

maybe I am!).

Oh no! That's must be an awful feeling

I think though that some posts stand out more than others - especially at the top and to an extent at the bottom of the list - so if you're frequently caught in the middle of a thread, I think a lot of times it gets missed because not everyone will read a long thread all the way through, or at least not every long thread.

Anyway, you're not on my ignore list!

Originally Posted by lunasmom

The hardest thing about being online is determining emotions through black and white text. The smilies do help determine one's personality at the time of writing, but if there aren't any smilies then unless they type how they feel (i.e. "That makes me angry when..." or "I'm so happy now...like being on cloud 9") then it's hard to tell what their emotions are. Heck, I could be typing this while feeling down, but how would you know unless i typed it?

Yup - very true.

Oh, I only know three smilies. If you can imagine it, I mentally added the cute nodding smily on the line before my "Yup" to show how much I agree.

I guess you know which three smilies I know now.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by rachelh1018

I feel the same way. I suffer with depression too. Perhaps it is lack of self confidence? I always have felt that I don't fit in. Sometimes I feel like I don't even fit into this world. Kind of like an outcast.

I think everybody feels like that - we're all alone in our heads - afterall we can only hear our own "I" voice. I think maybe its just when you feel down, that's hard to take. You don't know if there is anybody else out there on your side, because you can only really hear your own thoughts. Its a profoundly lonely feeling, and I think everyone knows it, though some people struggle with it more than others.

 

[beckiboo]

Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

It's either the PTSD or the Avoidant Personality Disorder or the Borderline Personality Disorder that makes me paranoid.

Any questions about the latter two well I could link to share what it is....maybe that would lead more unto understanding....:shrugs:


Avoidant Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder

As a psych nurse, I'm going to chime in. One fact about dealing with borderline personality disorder, is that you must remember that you cannot trust your "emotions". For a person with borderline personality, their emotions overcome the facts of the situation very often. So rather than trusting a feeling-for example, I feel I don't fit in....go with the facts you can see about the situation-when I post that I feel I don't fit in, others chime in to say they "feel" the same. And people are posting that they do appreciate me and my input. Rather than trusting your feelings in this situation, try to focus on the facts.

It is a really different way of thinking about things, but I have seen lots of people helped by this technique.

Personally, I LOVE the IMO forum. But I can only read and post there occasionally, because I get too mad sometimes. If I am feeling at all sad or depressed I don't post because it really gets me down, then!

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

I don't use the smilies most times I just use quick reply. *sigh*

Like I said, it's probably me and my own stupid issues.....sorry my brain is firing all my lovely bad thoughts at me right now, makes life difficult at times...gotta love depression.

Yeah. One morning I said something to BF - can't remember what - and he asked why or something similar. I remember my answer "That's the way the neurons fired". (Extra points for being funny and true)

And sometimes it is the only reason. Please be patient with yourself.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Personally, I LOVE the IMO forum. But I can only read and post there occasionally, because I get too mad sometimes. If I am feeling at all sad or depressed I don't post because it really gets me down, then!

Heck, I feel that way about some of the regular forums!

Sad threads are sometimes to sad for me.

 

[beckiboo]

Originally Posted by Satai

Heck, I feel that way about some of the regular forums!

Sad threads are sometimes to sad for me.

Yeah, I mostly stay away from the posts about animals being abused, or pts in shelters.

But I like almost everything about TCS, from the variety of people to the lovely kitty pics!

I'm not exactly the most popular person face to face, so I don't expect it to be different here. I generally get along with most people, but as for really close friends, I only have a few. But at 44, I feel I've learned to accept myself with the strengths and weaknesses. And I cherish the compliments I get here occasionally.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

Hey, cheer up. At least you're not getting extra "cheese" on your pizza

Ok, I don't get it.

Am I the only one?

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Yeah, I mostly stay away from the posts about animals being abused, or pts in shelters.

But I like almost everything about TCS, from the variety of people to the lovely kitty pics!

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how I feel.

Did you start the I love TCS thread? I can't remember.

 

[beckiboo]

Originally Posted by Satai

Yeah, that's pretty much exactly how I feel.

Did you start the I love TCS thread? I can't remember.

Yes! Thanks for remembering!
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=90906

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

Yes! Thanks for remembering!
http://www.thecatsite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=90906

I like that thread.

 

[gayef]

Originally Posted by Satai

... "That's the way the neurons fired".

Not to be butting in here at all, but when I read this it was as if the lightbulb of LIFE went off over my head and illuminated the entire world for me. Exactly. That is such a good way of describing it!

And the one thing I can say in the hopes of sounding at all wise and profound here is that everything -- absolutely everything -- in this life is temporary. Just wait it out and if you must, remind yourself each and every few moments ... "breathe in, ok, now breathe out." Sometimes it needs to go to that elemental of a level in order to get through it.

While you are out there, stumbling around in the dark so many of us know so well, also remember that if you but hold out a hand, chances are extremely good that one of us will get poked in the eye by your fingers *grin* and grab your hand. You are never, ever truly alone.

 

[butterflydream]

Originally Posted by Beckiboo

As a psych nurse, I'm going to chime in. One fact about dealing with borderline personality disorder, is that you must remember that you cannot trust your "emotions". For a person with borderline personality, their emotions overcome the facts of the situation very often. So rather than trusting a feeling-for example, I feel I don't fit in....go with the facts you can see about the situation-when I post that I feel I don't fit in, others chime in to say they "feel" the same. And people are posting that they do appreciate me and my input. Rather than trusting your feelings in this situation, try to focus on the facts.

It is a really different way of thinking about things, but I have seen lots of people helped by this technique.

Personally, I LOVE the IMO forum. But I can only read and post there occasionally, because I get too mad sometimes. If I am feeling at all sad or depressed I don't post because it really gets me down, then!

Your words were incredibly helpful, I've only had one psychiatric professional actually help me with the Borderline and Avoidant and PTSD stuff.

I've not had much help with it to be honest, the last shrink (pardon my using the 'mocking' term) I saw denied I had anything more than a bit of depression and a low self esteem. Despite my suicidal ideation, cutting ect...

(((I haven't cut but a few times and never deep)))

I have had little help from the psychiatric community as a whole, civilian or military. Course I'm not the best patient either. One person says one thing that upsets me and I'm in spite mode and it takes a cattle prod to get me to go back.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by gayef

Not to be butting in here at all, but when I read this it was as if the lightbulb of LIFE went off over my head and illuminated the entire world for me. Exactly. That is such a good way of describing it!

And the one thing I can say in the hopes of sounding at all wise and profound here is that everything -- absolutely everything -- in this life is temporary. Just wait it out and if you must, remind yourself each and every few moments ... "breathe in, ok, now breathe out." Sometimes it needs to go to that elemental of a level in order to get through it.

While you are out there, stumbling around in the dark so many of us know so well, also remember that if you but hold out a hand, chances are extremely good that one of us will get poked in the eye by your fingers *grin* and grab your hand. You are never, ever truly alone.

I firmly believe that is true, however often it feels differenly.

 

[shengmei]

I don't know how to say this without sounding creepy.

Dude. I care for you very much.

 

[lookingglass]

Originally Posted by ButterflyDream

I was just saying that last night, the battle with depression and all my personal demons seems like an endless and uncertain battle....and believe me there have been many moments where I've felt like giving up, I guess the important thing is I haven't.

Just know that it ebbs and flows. Being Bi-Polar, I can tell you that I go through cycles, and I have to learn that every emotion I have is temporary. Once I started to understand that I learned that I could live with my depressive episodes.

 

[Moz]

Originally Posted by shengmei

I don't know how to say this without sounding creepy.

Dude. I care for you very much.

Ditto. BD, I absolutely love your threads and Pearl and Pandora. TCS wouldn't be the same without you!

And I, like many others, am battling various personal demons.. depression and anxiety. We should have a club or something.