I am so sorry to hear. {{hugs}}.
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My dad passed away today....
- Thread starter duchess15
- Start Date
I am sorry for your loss.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #44
God...I am so angry right now. My dad's last wish be that I pay for his family to come down and it is the last thing they deserve after basically saying that they would have disowned him had they known something about him.
I will not dishonor his wish, but I do not agree with it, nor am I happy. These people are the least who deserve it and will make me despise them even more because I have to do it.
Now, they can truly not say that I have never done anything for them.
I am the one who has lost my whole family, yet, somehow I feel as if I am still paying the price for a family who is so deceitful that it is pathetic. Since when is it the responsibility of the person who is grieving to pay for everything?
My only comfort is the fact that I have requested that they stay at hotels (so I don't have to worry about them trying to claim things in my OWN house) and I can at least have peace in that. I truly hope they will realize that they will have to make their own arrangements as I am not responsible to cater to all there needs. This is now about me and not them, but yet, they all are complaining and making it sound like my dad dying was inconvenient.
I can't wait for this week to be over because then I will finally be free.
I will not dishonor his wish, but I do not agree with it, nor am I happy. These people are the least who deserve it and will make me despise them even more because I have to do it.
Now, they can truly not say that I have never done anything for them.
I am the one who has lost my whole family, yet, somehow I feel as if I am still paying the price for a family who is so deceitful that it is pathetic. Since when is it the responsibility of the person who is grieving to pay for everything?
My only comfort is the fact that I have requested that they stay at hotels (so I don't have to worry about them trying to claim things in my OWN house) and I can at least have peace in that. I truly hope they will realize that they will have to make their own arrangements as I am not responsible to cater to all there needs. This is now about me and not them, but yet, they all are complaining and making it sound like my dad dying was inconvenient.
I can't wait for this week to be over because then I will finally be free.
I am so very sorry for your loss. Your father loved you very much and probably knew it would not please you to grant his last wish. Maybe he wanted his family to realize that even though they were not good to him, he would show them you are not like them but a better person.
You do not need that stress on top of everything else. Just try and stay calm, see them only when you have to and you will get through it. My sympathies for you at this difficult time.
I'm so sorry Sabrina
Just honour your Dad's wishes regardless of whether you think it's right or not.
Your emotions are running high right now and your chewing yourself up over it, so try and stay calm like Jenny said or you may say something you regret, and i'm sure your Dad wouldn't want any confrontation
Your emotions are running high right now and your chewing yourself up over it, so try and stay calm like Jenny said or you may say something you regret, and i'm sure your Dad wouldn't want any confrontation
I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. You are in my prayers.
Oh Sabrina, I am so sorry I missed this. Laurie took the words out of my mouth.Originally Posted by LDG
Sabrina, I am so sorry sweetie.He knows how loved he was, and you did do everything you could. I'm glad he passed peacefully. I'm sorry you feel badly he passed while you were not in the room, but at least you were there with him. He knows.
He's with your mom now, sweetie, and they're both sending you all of their love.
Strong for you to get thru this toxicity with his family, and I hope you know we're all here for you to vent to.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #50
I'm so stressed out with everything I have to do. I just booked flights for one family and it will cost me $2500.
The others are still working out the details and even saying bad things about my dad - even now, but I have good friend who knows how to handle people and basically put them in their place. He made it painfully clear that in no way am I to cater to any of their needs.
I think paying for them is quite enough and more than they deserve.
I still have to find out how much I owe the funeral home and if I have to pay it all up front since he did pre-arrange it.
You know...somehow this is not how I quite imagined it. At least I know there is an end in sight and I will finally be able to breathe once the toxicity clears out.
I will honor my dad's wish because that is who I am. I think that had he known what they were saying about him - he would not have been so generous.
I keep losing weight because the stress just keeps adding and adding.
The others are still working out the details and even saying bad things about my dad - even now, but I have good friend who knows how to handle people and basically put them in their place. He made it painfully clear that in no way am I to cater to any of their needs.
I think paying for them is quite enough and more than they deserve.
I still have to find out how much I owe the funeral home and if I have to pay it all up front since he did pre-arrange it.
You know...somehow this is not how I quite imagined it. At least I know there is an end in sight and I will finally be able to breathe once the toxicity clears out.
I will honor my dad's wish because that is who I am. I think that had he known what they were saying about him - he would not have been so generous.
I keep losing weight because the stress just keeps adding and adding.
I just want you to know you're in my thoughts and prayers right now love
Sending lots of vibes your way for strength, grace/patience to deal with your difficult family members, and comfort to you as you grieve
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #52
I found out yesterday that the funeral cost cleared!
Since he was not diagnosed with it when he made them they were covered! That is a relief and very nice!!
I have so many friends that are coming - ones I haven't heard from in years so that is really very touching. I hope to re-establish some of those relationships now that I can have the time to do so.
I have so many friends that are coming - ones I haven't heard from in years so that is really very touching. I hope to re-establish some of those relationships now that I can have the time to do so.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #54
Visitation is tonight - see how I do with the first family member that will be there tonight. I will have tons of friends to help me get through and ignore my aunt, if possible.
I hope this doesn't happen because a funeral is not the place for confrontations
It takes a bigger person to walk away if things get heated.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #56
Trust me - he knows how to handle people. He was able to clear things up through emails. Visitation went well. I basically kept away from his family and engaged with all his friends and coworkers. Afterall, I was the hostess so I was all over the place. I took the high road and was very nice to them. I know that there is an end in sight.Originally Posted by Rosiemac
I hope this doesn't happen because a funeral is not the place for confrontations
It takes a bigger person to walk away if things get heated.
Things are going ok because they are not staying at my house. At least I have comfort in that.
The funeral will be tomorrow at 2pm.
Just sending good vibes that all goes smoothly tomorrow.
Some more calming
