My cat literally slashed my mother - Please Help :(

[grizzlysapien]

Thanks @Crazy4Strays  I hope so too. Thanks for your support!

@KKoerner  

 I am just trying to be objective and take anything possible under consideration. All this might be (at least) partly my fault.. I realize I don't bear the full responsibility, after taking in account circumstances, unknown events, unexplained causes or even mistakes that might have occured without us knowing or wanting them.. Each being is unique. And as much as we like to follow "the textbook" in all of the cases, it does not always apply, unfortunately.. I've also taken under concideration what you are saying - about other male cats that have been neutered later and have not acted like Grizzly.

At the end of the day, I adopted him, I brought him home to offer him a better quality of life, than that on the streets.. I may have rescued him from dying. I don't know! So, if you ask around I might be a hero to their eyes. But what's happening now? Is far away from what I wanted to offer him. This is not hard only on us.. It's even harder on him, since he cannot explain or voice what's going on in his head. He is generally fine, but I can tell he is confused.. I cannot imagine what it is like for him. Being in a constant confusion of "don't go there! stay there! Don't do that!" without having the opportunity of realizing what's going on and why things have changed.. I feel like he's afraid I might send him away.. And sometimes during the day he tries to give me reasons to keep him! Like, I need more reasons! LOL

I had a huge fight with my mother and I stated that if Grizzly goes, I go. I am not giving up on him. He deserves a chance to look for the cause of all this.. I think she stopped insisting cause I got really mad and I really meant what I said. 

I went to the drugstore and bought Xanax.. When I went out of the store, I sobbed.. I can't believe we've come to this point.. Of having to medicate him to relax and be normal again.. 

 He used to be such a sweetheart and so kind, goodhearted and sensitive.. He would sit for hours on my mother's knee and purr when he was just 20 days old.. My mother had a knee surgery when we first got him. And he'd be there, wouldn't leave her alone.. I think his bond with my mom is even stronger than with me, sometimes.. 

So, regarding Grizzly, my heart is in those memories. Not that I am in denial of what happened. But I know who Grizzly is.. And he is not the aggressive cat from Hell.. I can't put aside everything I went through to get him, keep him safe, protect him, train him to play and to discover himself.. he is my roomate.. not my pet. In a world dominated by humans, animals are defenceless and have no chance to speak for themselves. I cannot condemn an animal for reacting in fear, no matter how wrong the reasons are. I've forgiven humans for much worse and they knew they were wrong.. Needless to say, they never appreciated me for forgiving them.. Of course, I am not looking for appreciation on Grizzly's behalf! I just want him to be happy.. And these days I can feel he is far from it.. 

Ugh.. waterworks.. AGAIN.. 

 

 

[kkoerner]

Thanks @Crazy4Strays
 I hope so too. Thanks for your support!

@KKoerner
   I am just trying to be objective and take anything possible under consideration. All this might be (at least) partly my fault.. I realize I don't bear the full responsibility, after taking in account circumstances, unknown events, unexplained causes or even mistakes that might have occured without us knowing or wanting them.. Each being is unique. And as much as we like to follow "the textbook" in all of the cases, it does not always apply, unfortunately.. I've also taken under concideration what you are saying - about other male cats that have been neutered later and have not acted like Grizzly.

At the end of the day, I adopted him, I brought him home to offer him a better quality of life, than that on the streets.. I may have rescued him from dying. I don't know! So, if you ask around I might be a hero to their eyes. But what's happening now? Is far away from what I wanted to offer him. This is not hard only on us.. It's even harder on him, since he cannot explain or voice what's going on in his head. He is generally fine, but I can tell he is confused.. I cannot imagine what it is like for him. Being in a constant confusion of "don't go there! stay there! Don't do that!" without having the opportunity of realizing what's going on and why things have changed.. I feel like he's afraid I might send him away.. And sometimes during the day he tries to give me reasons to keep him! Like, I need more reasons! LOL

I had a huge fight with my mother and I stated that if Grizzly goes, I go. I am not giving up on him. He deserves a chance to look for the cause of all this.. I think she stopped insisting cause I got really mad and I really meant what I said. 

I went to the drugstore and bought Xanax.. When I went out of the store, I sobbed.. I can't believe we've come to this point.. Of having to medicate him to relax and be normal again..   He used to be such a sweetheart and so kind, goodhearted and sensitive.. He would sit for hours on my mother's knee and purr when he was just 20 days old.. My mother had a knee surgery when we first got him. And he'd be there, wouldn't leave her alone.. I think his bond with my mom is even stronger than with me, sometimes.. 

So, regarding Grizzly, my heart is in those memories. Not that I am in denial of what happened. But I know who Grizzly is.. And he is not the aggressive cat from Hell.. I can't put aside everything I went through to get him, keep him safe, protect him, train him to play and to discover himself.. he is my roomate.. not my pet. In a world dominated by humans, animals are defenceless and have no chance to speak for themselves. I cannot condemn an animal for reacting in fear, no matter how wrong the reasons are. I've forgiven humans for much worse and they knew they were wrong.. Needless to say, they never appreciated me for forgiving them.. Of course, I am not looking for appreciation on Grizzly's behalf! I just want him to be happy.. And these days I can feel he is far from it.. 

Ugh.. waterworks.. AGAIN.. :shame:  

That's a beautiful attitude. ♡♡♡
I imagine how hard this is, how sad...how the memories of what was and what is now are clashing and it is all so heartbreaking. I don't know what I would do...I don't know how strong I would be in a situation like this: everything with your mom...dad...Grizzly...YOU. I do know one thing though...this may not be what you wanted for Grizzly, but he is so very lucky to have found his way into your life. He may be struggling now, as is the rest of your family, but what may have happened in another home had this still happened there? He is very lucky and has a great friend in you.

 

[Columbine]

Oh, GrizzlySapien - None of this is your fault. Really. I mean that. I don't know what triggered the crazy anxiety/behavioural changes in Grizzly. Sometimes these things just happen. It will be possible to work through this. Heck, the behaviourist hasn't even MET Grizzly yet, and it's near impossible to determine root causes without seeing/experiencing the behaviour or spending time with the cat.

Depending on the situation, the drugs may not be forever. Remember Grizzly is at the most difficult age for any cat (and incidentally, its adolescence/young adulthood when most mental illnesses surface in humans). I can't give you any answers. I understand how scary, stressful and frustrating this must be for you AND your parents. I so wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything ok for you all.

Hang in there. Things WILL get better.

 

[LotsOfFur]

You are determined, strong and compassionate! You will come out stronger for this and maybe you will be able to share your knowledge with others... Maybe study to be a cat behaviorist yourself [emoji]128521[/emoji] Greece could probably use 2...
I think you mentioned misdirected aggression and you may be on to something there.
Big hugs and know you have a lot of people pulling for you and Grizzly [emoji]10084[/emoji]️

 

[grizzlysapien]

That's a beautiful attitude. ♡♡♡
I imagine how hard this is, how sad...how the memories of what was and what is now are clashing and it is all so heartbreaking. I don't know what I would do...I don't know how strong I would be in a situation like this: everything with your mom...dad...Grizzly...YOU. I do know one thing though...this may not be what you wanted for Grizzly, but he is so very lucky to have found his way into your life. He may be struggling now, as is the rest of your family, but what may have happened in another home had this still happened there? He is very lucky and has a great friend in you.

Oh, GrizzlySapien - None of this is your fault. Really. I mean that. I don't know what triggered the crazy anxiety/behavioural changes in Grizzly. Sometimes these things just happen. It will be possible to work through this. Heck, the behaviourist hasn't even MET Grizzly yet, and it's near impossible to determine root causes without seeing/experiencing the behaviour or spending time with the cat.

Depending on the situation, the drugs may not be forever. Remember Grizzly is at the most difficult age for any cat (and incidentally, its adolescence/young adulthood when most mental illnesses surface in humans). I can't give you any answers. I understand how scary, stressful and frustrating this must be for you AND your parents. I so wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything ok for you all.

Hang in there. Things WILL get better.

You are determined, strong and compassionate! You will come out stronger for this and maybe you will be able to share your knowledge with others... Maybe study to be a cat behaviorist yourself [emoji]128521[/emoji] Greece could probably use 2...
I think you mentioned misdirected aggression and you may be on to something there.
Big hugs and know you have a lot of people pulling for you and Grizzly [emoji]10084[/emoji]️

Awww,  you guys..! GROUP HUG! 

 LOL

After the previous waterworks I shed, I read what you all wrote and I burst into tears again.. I hate it when I get emotional.. 

 Steals my powers! But it is so helpful for me, to read so many heartwarming and encouraging words.. You have no idea.. I've heard the worst over my choice to keep Grizzly and to try to find out the causes.. Mostly from my mother, whom I cannot totally blame.. But also from my dad, some neighbours.. They look at me like I'm an alien and I don't sympathize with my mom's agony and stress.. Like I'm not the one who has been taking care of her.. Of course, that's the least I could do..! It goes without saying.. But none of them were there to help me to deal with the situation. All they do is talk, judge and conlude arbitrarily.. I don't give a rats a** about them, but it gets exhausting..

It is apparent that if this happened to some other family, Grizzly wouldn't still be alive.. Or he would have been kicked out.. We are full of people who just want things to go their way. If they don't they just give up.. In the film "Marley", the main character said "mend it, don't end it"  - he was talking about human relationships at that point, but (given it is based on a true story) this phrase can be applied on so many things.. 

Grizzly will be on anti-anxiety meds (Xanax) for about a couple of weeks. Not longer, cause these meds tend to create addiction.. He will be taking them for a week at first, then the behaviourist will come over and assess the situation and then Grizzly may continue or quit Xanax.. We'll see how it goes.. He's put me some homework to do, though. He wants me to record several videos of Grizzly tonight, so he can see how Grizzly acts without Xanax and then record a video tomorrow to see his behaviour after Xanax. This will help him determine if Grizzly can be actually supported on this drug, or we will have to change the drug itself or lower/increase the dosage. Up until now, I have only recorded 2 videos, while I was making my bed and Grizzly refused to cooperate 

Tomorrow morning I will give Grizzly 1/2 Xanax and watch what he does.. how he reacts to it..

Thrilling news: I managed to clean up my side of the house!

 I finally took some hours off Grizzly, confined him in my mom's room and my mom+me where at "my side".. So I had the chance to dust and vacuum and mop the floors! 

 ahhh! Happy days! 

 

[margd]

I sure hope the Xanax does the trick. And good for you getting your half of the apartment cleaned up. I need to do some of that myself. [emoji]128531[/emoji]

It is really hard when everyone around you disagrees with what you are doing. I went through that with my dear boy Milo who would, with practically no warning, dig his claws into people's faces. My whole family plus doctors told me to take him back to the shelter but I just couldn't do it. He outgrew the problem with time and I've never regretted sticking with him. Still I remember what it was like facing that disapproval so have some idea what you're going through. My heart goes out to you as you try to take care of everyone and Grizzly, too. As for neighbors, well, what can I say. Neighbors often want to give opinions whether you want them or not!

I hope you'll post your videos of Grizzly when you get them. He's such a cutie pie - I'd love to see them! [emoji]128516[/emoji]

 

[siamiam2]

The British call it a one off. Xanax is very expensive and with the terms of the 3rd bail out it may be harder to get for a cat. Something about restrictions on meds not OTC. I really think the vet thinks its a one off too and your mother is badly shaken. Keep cat and mom distant. Cat visit dad for a while? Maybe? !et him have some company til things blow over. Xanax is heavy drugs, avoid it at all costs he doesn't need it. You spent too much money already. Annabel needs a quick shot of medication to make her better but I have to do alternates til my fiance gets here which is cruel. He shouldve been here already. I wish...but like I said, grease their palm or they make you suffer.

 

[kskatt]

I hope and pray the xanax works! Starting out on a minimum dose I hope.

Many years ago I heard about an incident with one of my sister-in-laws cats. I don't remember how much damage was done to my sil or if it happened more than once. My memory is poor, but I believe there may have been some stitches and I don't think it happened more than once. That cat did not live. I still feel very sad and wish the deadly reaction hadn't been so fast. It was years later that I first heard of redirected aggression and wondered if that may have been it. The cat really can't help itself, it's not intentional!

My cat Moon, a big boy. He actually has Diabetes and I'm working on his weight. Anyway he has temper tantrums, the folks at the vet thought he was sweet, until he wasn't. It isn't nearly so bad as what Grizzly's going through! With Moon I just have to keep him off my lap. If I try to move he will attack and I have had the paws on each side of my face with claws in my temples. I even had to manually pull the claws out of my flesh,while trying to hold onto Moon. His pupils dilate, like his eyes just go black.

There are my reasons that I have a personal interest in how this works out for you. Moon really doesn't even hold a shadow to what poor Grizzly is going through. I just know that look in the eyes, how scary it is.

I had a Grizzly before, he was solid grey and he was my baby. He slept with me every night.

It will be awesome if we can see those videos. As you start with the medicating those videos will be fascinating to study. Perhaps seeing such subtle changes you would not notice in real time. I'm praying so hard!

 

[siamiam2]

I still say cooling off of. Take him for a vacation at dad's. The previous post is scary. He's not like that and obviously not Siamese, they don't do that. What A did to my head I deserved and she was so sorry but I told her it was alright. She may also have been disoriented from a long winter inside. I hope you don't decide on meds. The first route should be w/out. Remember you havev2specialists who say no too. In America its all about homeopathic. Even for pets now which is very new for vets but some are right on board with it? Behavior modification starts with a stay at dad's if he'll accept the company. See how long you think your cat needs. Take it from there because what he did to your mother may never happen again. Don't punish.

 

[grizzlysapien]

I swear, he looks JUST like that! LOL

What exactly do you mean when you say "Moon really doesn't even hold a shadow to what poor Grizzly is going through" - can you explain? Is that an idiom phrase, sort of? (No idea! LOL)

Regarding the videos, I really haven't recorded much, cause he was quite calm last night.. (it's 07:40 in the morning here right now) So, he didn't give me much material. Besides, I was exhausted and went to bed. We slept together - he was quiet. Then at 05:00 in the morning or so, he started his "Cirque Du Soleil" tricks and parkour around the living room.. But I was too sleepy to get up and record.. Even if I had done so, my smartphone isn't much of a help. I would be lucky to record just a shadow, running around.. LOL

Although, it is a good idea to see what I can do and share them here, so we can all study the progress.. It might help others..

For now, here's a video I had recorded many months ago:


I am referred to as "SapienKilobo" because of my dog Kilobo (I was informed that Kilobo means Lesbian in some language? I had no idea, Kilobo has a totally other meaning for me)

 

[kkoerner]

Oh my.....that was like watching Cadbury! He has a love affair with the bathroom sink too, but I have to keep him closed out of the bathroom because he bites chucks out of my toilet paper if he sees it.....

 

[grizzlysapien]

@KKoerner  LOL the more I think of it, the more I am convinced that if I steal Cadbury from you, neither you nor I will tell the difference! 

By the way, Grizzly weighed about 8-9 kilos in that video.

I was just watching some more videos I recorded with Grizzly.. 1 or 2 of them are hillarious. He gets a "censorious" look when I'm messing with him, I can't help but to start giggling in front of the monitor 

These videos are from 3 months ago, or so.. He used to be so patient with me.. 

 

 

[siamiam2]

It's pharmacy ownership!that may change? Sorry, I should checked my notes first. And yes I definitely missed details, vital ones, on your life. I am sorry. If I may? I had a thought and this is outta nowhere but Greeks are superstitious. I see Grizzly isn't black but brown and maybe his behavior was on a certain date of some importance??? Just throwing things out there. From the looks of him your little guy does have a problem. Question is? What is it?

 

[grizzlysapien]

@siamiam2  Well, I am not superstitious

 and the date wasn't of any importance. No need to apologise! There are too many posts in here to keep up with. No worries. 

We are trying to identify his issues.. That's what I am hoping the behaviourist will help me with.. 

 

 

[siamiam2]

The main problem iis the anger between your mother and you. The bird? He wants to go outside for a while like I let Annabel, weather and temps permitting. Do you have a back yard? Don't be afraid to let him when you're awake. It gives him a break from the tension in the house. He'd also love to spend time at grandpa's if that gets him away from the tension as well. I think you can scrap plans for Xanax then. Hope you can either give him time outside or take him to grandpa's. That one I know you don't wanna do but perhaps some outside time each day??

 

[grizzlysapien]

The main problem iis the anger between your mother and you. The bird? He wants to go outside for a while like I let Annabel, weather and temps permitting. Do you have a back yard? Don't be afraid to let him when you're awake. It gives him a break from the tension in the house. He promises not to touch grandma again but says she had it coming. The bird cage was an excuse. He'd also love to spend time at grandpa's if that gets him away from the tension as well. I think you can scrap plans for Xanax then. Hope you can either give him time outside or take him to grandpa's. That one I know you don't wanna do but perhaps some outside time each day??

@siamiam2   Grandpa is out of the question, cause Grizzly hates him. He hisses when he sees him. How can I take him there to stay? It'll be worse for him and everything I try to accomplish will be "gone with the wind". My objective is to keep him calm, not to stress him out more, by making him stay with a person he detests..! Also, Grizzly is 100% indoor cat. I wouldn't let him out, even if someone bought me the Parthenon. It is too dangerous. Not just because he might have an accident, which is a great possibility, but also there are people here who are really twisted. Also, we have groups of stray dogs in the neighbourhood that might attack him and since Grizzly was raised home, he won't escape them.. I must remind you, he just got neutered and is in recovery.. So, no, I am not letting him out the appartment. And since I live in an appartment, I don't have a back yard. But I do have a large balcony where he hangs out that's his "outside". He goes out, smells the air, sunbathes 

, chases insects etc.. Everything he would do roaming in the streets, but in my way he is safe from harm. 

What you say about the anger between me and my mother, you are right. I am working on eliminating it. I am angry at the way she handles the situation and about her "protest" on keeping Grizzly, but I cannot blame her. She lost A LOT of blood that night. She almost lost her senses too, if the ambulance hadn't come in time. She is in constant pain due to Grizzly's bites. And her leg is in danger, due to her wound and her high blood sugar. What happened, didn't happen intentionally from either part. It was not my mother's fault, nor Grizzly's.. It was just a wrongful series of events that my mother didn't know how to handle and reacted in panic. So did Grizzly. 

So, please, I beg you, stop insisting for me to send him off to my dad's or take him outside. I've already stated the reasons for which I won't do it. Maybe where you live it is safe for Annabel to go outside. Where I live, it's not. 

 

 

[betsygee]

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[grizzlysapien]

**UPDATE**! 

 

So, today WOULD be the day I would administer Grizzly with his "magic pill" (1/2 Xanax every 24hrs for 1 week - for starters - strictly according to vet's prescription)

The behaviourist had adviced me from yesterday that it would be good, if I hid the pill inside some fish.. Fish have more instensed odur (odur or smell? which one is correct to use in this phrase?) so, it will be less likely for the animal to "detect" the pill in the food.. He advised me to use tuna or sardines and crash the pill into powder and mix it in the fish, along with the juices, oils etc that are in the can/jar..

So I did... 

 I crashed the pill and put in some tuna with its oil.. Usually Grizzly goes nuts about tuna.. So, when he saw the bowl he was all excited! When I put the bowl down and he sniffed it, he immediately turned away and 

I tried to persuade him.. I tried to sweet-talk him... I tried everything.. He would just sit afar and look at me.. 

I made a 2nd effort. Put the other half of the pill as it was, inside his Nature's Menu wetfood, which he devours in a blink of an eye.. 

What he did? He ate it AROUND the pill, leaving the pill in the bowl.. He meowed when he was finished..

 

The thing is that he slept through almost all morning till past midday, so my efforts took place after that. I couldn't make a 3rd effort cause it was getting too late and the behaviourist told me to give the pill during daytime, so to monitor him and if something went wrong, I could take Grizzly to the vet.

I will try again tomorrow.. with sardines.. and coating it with butter as @Columbine  advised me to.. 

Also, Grizzly is trained not to eat harmful materials in his food.. So, I'm guessing, while this could help to protect him in other cases, it might make it difficult for me to give him the pill..

Do any of you have any suggestions? Any thoughts?

 

[kkoerner]

Did you crush it to the point of powder? If not, I would crush it til it's just powder, and mix it in the wet food. You Can Even Mix In Some Of The Fish He Likes (I DONT Know Why My Phone Is Now Capitolizing Everything....)

If he still won't eat it, either in the fish or wet food crushed, or coated in butter, you are going to have to pill him. You can do it by hand, but it will be easier to use a piller.

Hopefully he will eat it if it's powdered, mixed in wet food and fish together. Cats and pills can be tricky LOL

 

[catlover73]

When one of cats had to be on medicine that tasted bad.  I wrapped it in a piece of sliced cheese.  That was the only way he would take his meds.