Is there still hope left or should I just give up?

[duchess15]

They plan on her getting a transplant, but they can't do anything until she gets over the infection. I think she may also have to be off the respirator too in order to be able to go up there.

She may not get better, but I hope that she will. I plan on going up later unless something happens.

 

[ldg]

Your dad's taking his meds!

He must not have thrown them all out or something - or maybe he refilled scrips or got them at the hospital - either way that's great news.

One less thing to worry about, and that's always a good thing.

Did you get some sleep or get any of your room cleaned up? I know when Gary's (my hubby) been going through a bad patch, finding the time to clean can be a real struggle. We're partners in biz, so managing his care, the cats, AND work is more than enough, and sometimes just getting the counters cleaned and some dishes washed makes me feel better. !!

I'm sorry the infection isn't improving. I hope the dialysis helps her body become stronger to deal with this.

Sending more vibes to you, your mom and your dad.

Spend a little time with the kitties. That'll help too.

Laurie

 

[duchess15]

The transplant is off because she would never survive the operation. Her lungs are shot, her liver is shot and her kidneys are failing.

They will keep seeing if the steroids will help, but at some point, when it can't reverse the damage, the time has come to let her go. They said it would take a miracle for her to recover.

I now I have to start looking for all the papers. I need to have them ready if and when the time comes.

 

[jcat]

I'm very sorry that a transplant isn't possible.

, and that you all have the strength to see you through this ordeal.

 

[ldg]

I'm so sorry for the sad news.

I'm still sending up prayers and sending out vibes.

Laurie

 

[pat]

I am so sorry. Sending for strength for you.

 

[sibohan2005]

I can't believe there is no chance of a transplant... have you looked for a second opinion?

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by Duchess15

The transplant is off because she would never survive the operation. Her lungs are shot, her liver is shot and her kidneys are failing.

They will keep seeing if the steroids will help, but at some point, when it can't reverse the damage, the time has come to let her go. They said it would take a miracle for her to recover.

I now I have to start looking for all the papers. I need to have them ready if and when the time comes.

what dreadful news! ok, everyone - let's start praying for that miracle!

 

[duchess15]

We just informed the doctor about the DNR. We do not want her to suffer in any way. I don't know what I'll do without her.

 

[pat]

I don't know what else to say...you are in all our thoughts.

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by Pat & Alix

I don't know what else to say...you are in all our thoughts.

is she aware? can you talk to her? can she talk/communicate w/you? i'm hoping/praying so... it'll help you & your dad if you can...
still praying for the miracle, tho!

 

[duchess15]

We told the doctors to keep doing what they have, but if her heart stops, they will not revive her. I think if it gives out, she has fought a good fight, and I want her to be able to rest in peace. It would be selfish and unfair to her to make her struggle even more.

She can't talk at this time. However, sometimes she shakes her head if she is alert. I'm hoping that a couple of friends tonight will be able to get her to respond a bit.

I want to tell her it is ok if she is getting tired of fighting. I want her to know that we will miss her so much, but we will be ok and will never ever forget her.

Originally Posted by laureen227

is she aware? can you talk to her? can she talk/communicate w/you? i'm hoping/praying so... it'll help you & your dad if you can...
still praying for the miracle, tho!

 

[duchess15]

Originally Posted by jcat

I'm very sorry that a transplant isn't possible.

, and that you all have the strength to see you through this ordeal.

Something my mom wrote in a book to me was quoted from her mother. She always admired her mother to have strength and see things through. That is how I see mine. She has never had a mean bone in her body and was never judgmental. She always was a good role model.

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by Duchess15

I want to tell her it is ok if she is getting tired of fighting. I want her to know that we will miss her so much, but we will be ok and will never ever forget her.

go ahead & tell her. even if she doesn't hear/understand now, she will later. doctors aren't even sure how much a person in a coma hears or understands, so if she's alert enough to respond at times, it's quite likely she hears you other times, just doesn't have the energy or ability to respond in a way you can see.

 

[kiwideus]

My heart goes out to you.

 

[carolpetunia]

Yes, yes, say anything and everything you want to say, hold her hand and talk to her and ask her questions, too... and don't give up on the miracle, and please, just go ahead and ask for a consult, ask for another opinion -- it can't possibly hurt to make very, very sure every possibility has been considered. But more than anything, just talk to her, say what you want her to hear... now, tonight.

And hon, let me just say this: I'm afraid your father may have stashed his meds away somewhere so no one could take them away from him, so he will be able to take them all if your mom goes and he decides to follow her. I know he seems better, but suicidal people often do when they have their plan in place and have accepted it. I dearly hope I'm wrong, but in case I'm not, please please get some serious professional help for your father now.

I'm praying so hard for all of you... oh I want this to work out right. I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

 

[sarahp]

Originally Posted by Duchess15

I want to tell her it is ok if she is getting tired of fighting. I want her to know that we will miss her so much, but we will be ok and will never ever forget her.

Tell her while you still can. If she isn't able to pull through this, you don't want to regret not having told her.

Can you and your dad go to counselling together? I think you might need help talking to each other, and dealing with all of your stress.

Still sending lots of vibes

 

[calico2222]

Honey, just talk to her. I believe she can hear you even if she doesn't respond. I am so sorry to hear it's that bad now, and you can get a second opinion if you want, but honestly, it everything is shutting down....I don't think they can do anything, but maybe they can. But, with the DNR...I think that is probably for the best.

This is the time to talk to her, tell her what you feel, and be with her.

Many prayers and vibes going out for your mom, you and your dad

 

[carolpetunia]

Originally Posted by laureen227

ok, everyone - let's start praying for that miracle!

Yes ma'am -- prayer, meditation, positive thoughts... whatever each of us has to give, now is the time...

 

[duchess15]

I really think he may be better. He is attending church tomorrow, has bought a bible, and said he is sticking around for the next 20 years.

My mom is still the same at this point. I wish I could trade my life for hers. The nurses she has had are really great.

My dad stayed at a friend's house and tomorrow they will be going to the funeral home. We want to have everything ready just in case.

I've told her more than once that it is ok if she no longer has the energy to fight. I don't know if she heard me or not. It's just a miracle she's made it this far. I guess I had my hopes up before everything else started to fail.

They will keep doing all they have to see if the steroids can help. I just wish her heart didn't have to work as hard.