Boyfriend thinks declawing is okay? :/

[kittymom4]

Well I guess I would throw it back on the BF if it was me. You DONT want the cat declawed, it's YOUR cat, and you have many reasons supporting your decision.

Ask him WHY he thinks it's in the CATS best interest to be declawed. Make him give you a reasonable argument. Until then, it's a non-issue.

 

[larussa]

DO NOT DECLAW YOUR KITTY. If he doesn't like it, tell him to get lost because he doesn't really care about your cat. Keep your cat the way she/he was born as far as claws. If she/he ever gets out she will have nothing to defend herself with. If he can't handle this, get rid of him.

 

[larussa]

Originally Posted by Momofmany

Speaking from a woman's point of view......

My first husband INSISTED that I declaw my cat. Being young and uneducated on the topic, and wanting to please my husband, I agreed to it. Worst mistake I ever made in my life. The marriage lasted under 3 years.

Enter current husband. When he first met my cat, I told him point blank that if he didn't like my cats, our relationship could never go anywhere. We're still married 21 years later. He admitted years later that he disliked cats when we first met. He respected me enough to learn to love cats.

Sometimes it doesn't matter what argument you try to use with people. If they are unable to respect your wishes, you need to question the relationship.

With that said, my argument would simply be this: I understand the dangers and issues with declawing a cat. If you don't want to take the time to learn these things for yourself, then you are showing me complete disrespect for my values.

Not to stir things up between the 2 of you. It's just that women often feel compelled to give into the wishes of the men in their lives. Do what you know is right, even if it risks the relationship.

You brought up very interesting details about a couple who thinks the same and those who don't. The big problem here is that I know of couples who both want their cats declawed and so do it. Those are the cats I feel sorry for because they don't have a chance at all. Seems both were uneducated or uncaring, probably both and that is so sad for their cats.

 

[mrblanche]

Originally Posted by Minka

How do I deal with this situation? :/

Ask if he'd cut his kid's fingers off at the first joint to keep them from picking their nose?

I find that question often puts it in a different light. And many people don't understand that that is exactly what declawing is, an amputation of the digit at the first joint.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Ducman69

Just a FYI before any incensed Japanese members post, but Japanese culture is outraged by the idea of cats as food, and are overall very loving towards felines. Have to remember that Chinese and Japanese culture are no more similar than Italian and British.

In China there's a big shift, as keeping pets is just now becoming popular since the Communist government used to frown upon the idea as wasteful. But it is true there are some in poorer regions of South China (never North), but S.Korea luckily I don't think you can find anywhere that still serves cat its really just perpetuated as a joke these days at Korean's expense.

I realize I am not nearly as worldly or knowledgeable as you about most things, but I still believe (in my ignorance) that Asian countries do NOT have the same attitudes towards animals, particularly cats, as we do in the Western countries and therefore their cultures cannot be compared to ours in this regard. And, my comments have nothing to do with incensing citizens of these countries as it is not personal on my part.

This thread is about declawing our pet cats and no matter how you spout statistics, it is a horrible and cruel thing to do to a pet. And those who compare it to neutering and so it no less cruel really need to do some research.

 

[ducman69]

Oh no worries, just figured I'd throw that out there for my Asian homies. North Chinese believe that cats have a soul, and so respect kitties, even if they weren't pets very often until more recently. Japan is super nekko-happy, and cats along with anything cute has been big over there for some time. Scottish Folds and American Shorthairs appear to be favorites, and one a little chubby fold is Maru who is a bit of an internet celebrity over there and usually holds the rank of #1 most viewed Youtube video in Japan.

 

[minka]

Originally Posted by mrblanche

Ask if he'd cut his kid's fingers off at the first joint to keep them from picking their nose?

I find that question often puts it in a different light. And many people don't understand that that is exactly what declawing is, an amputation of the digit at the first joint.

LOL, yea, he would say that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard. He knows that it involves removing the bone.

I think I will either just ignore his rude comments or go with Ducman's approach. Thanks everyone!

 

[otto]

Originally Posted by Momofmany

Speaking from a woman's point of view......

My first husband INSISTED that I declaw my cat. Being young and uneducated on the topic, and wanting to please my husband, I agreed to it. Worst mistake I ever made in my life. The marriage lasted under 3 years.

Enter current husband. When he first met my cat, I told him point blank that if he didn't like my cats, our relationship could never go anywhere. We're still married 21 years later. He admitted years later that he disliked cats when we first met. He respected me enough to learn to love cats.

Sometimes it doesn't matter what argument you try to use with people. If they are unable to respect your wishes, you need to question the relationship.

With that said, my argument would simply be this: I understand the dangers and issues with declawing a cat. If you don't want to take the time to learn these things for yourself, then you are showing me complete disrespect for my values.

Not to stir things up between the 2 of you. It's just that women often feel compelled to give into the wishes of the men in their lives. Do what you know is right, even if it risks the relationship.

Originally Posted by Ritz

Make sure your *vet* knows that under NO circumstances should your cat be declawed; and that your boyfriend under NO circumstances is allowed to consent to same.
Protect yourself; protect your cat; protect your boyfriend (although if he goes against your wishes, he shouldn't be your boyfriend any more. Just sayin....).

Minka: never ever EVER leave that man alone with your cat. I'm not sure I would want to remain in a relationship with someone who takes such an attitude about something so dear to my heart, my cat.

Originally Posted by LaRussa

DO NOT DECLAW YOUR KITTY. If he doesn't like it, tell him to get lost because he doesn't really care about your cat. Keep your cat the way she/he was born as far as claws. If she/he ever gets out she will have nothing to defend herself with. If he can't handle this, get rid of him.

Again:

If he already "knows" what is involved, then he doesn't care about your cat. If he doens't care about your cat, how much does he care about you?

And my other thought while reading the first post in this thread is: He knows how you feel so is using this declaw issue to upset you and bother you and cause you stress.

Again, not a desirable quality in a partner. Your partner should want you to be happy, and should respect your wishes, not be harping all the time for you to mutilate your cat.

This, in my opinion goes way deeper than the declaw question.

 

[minka]

Originally Posted by otto

Minka: never ever EVER leave that man alone with your cat. I'm not sure I would want to remain in a relationship with someone who takes such an attitude about something so dear to my heart, my cat.



Again:

If he already "knows" what is involved, then he doesn't care about your cat. If he doens't care about your cat, how much does he care about you?

And my other thought while reading the first post in this thread is: He knows how you feel so is using this declaw issue to upset you and bother you and cause you stress.

Again, not a desirable quality in a partner. Your partner should want you to be happy, and should respect your wishes, not be harping all the time for you to mutilate your cat.

This, in my opinion goes way deeper than the declaw question.

I'm not worried about him declawing my cat. He has never threatened to do so, and he would never waste his money on something like that. Not to mention he is very trustworthy.

I can't say that he doesn't care about me, because a year ago, he risked losing his dorm/pay as a 'hall monitor' at his school so he could have me nearby. (The alternative was 3000 miles away.) Also during that time, I had bleeding (the girl kind) that wouldn't stop and he took the bus with me into the city to go to the E.R. and didn't leave my side the whole time, though all the tests, ultrasounds, etc. It turned out to be nothing but me over-worring, but that didn't stop him from sticking with me.

I think it has more to do with that he has a hard time understanding 'I shouldn't say this, it will upset her.' He gets stubbornly stuck thinking 'This wouldn't upset me, so why should it upset you? Oh, yea, because you are an emotional woman. :|'

Thanks for trying to protect me though. *hugs*

 

[alyn73]

Just a FYI before any incensed Japanese members post, but Japanese culture is outraged by the idea of cats as food, and are overall very loving towards felines. Have to remember that Chinese and Japanese culture are no more similar than Italian and British.

In China there's a big shift, as keeping pets is just now becoming popular since the Communist government used to frown upon the idea as wasteful. But it is true there are some in poorer regions of South China (never North), but S.Korea luckily I don't think you can find anywhere that still serves cat its really just perpetuated as a joke these days at Korean's expense.

Also, Japan is one of the countries that have banned Declawing, or consider it inhumane.

 

[jtbo]

Well, some people do pay to get needle strokes (I think it is called needle therapy, but not sure), but when there is cat around, all you need to do is wiggle finger a bit and you get many needle strokes absolutely free.

We have Finnfoam brand insulation material at hardware store, it is really cheap clawing post material, just bolt one to near door frame and cats get their clawing desires fullfilled, not much trouble with clawing the wrong place, also I have placed some pieces on floor which are also very liked.

They do wear down and they do cause bit of mess, but not too much, it is stronger than urethane which they claw trough in few days making ton of mess.

Also it is lot stronger than Styrofoam, but I really don't know what else material would be similar in other countries. Something in the stuff is such that it really draws their attention so no clawing to other things happens here, if that is the concern of BF.

For me declawing is odd thing which I can't find place in this world, cat is predator, a beast and surely cat has to have tools of the beast. Also they need claws for moving too, for example my panther claws up the door as easily as he is walking on vertical surfaces, he even runs up the door, leaps to half way and then jumps to top of the door without slowing down a bit, then jumps to attic while running at full speed, not possible without claws and surely that finnfoam at door surface is helping quite a bit. I would never steal such activities from the cat, as he really enjoys from such and also it is good for his health too.

Stuffed animals, I think there are even some robotic cats these days, those perhaps fits better to them that want to declaw the cat as real cat is not a decoration or toy, cat should be respected as what cat is, that is how I see it.

It is not only Japan where declawing is illegal, it is bit surprising that it is not illegal in US as it is illegal in really many countries:
http://www.declawing.com/countries-that-outlaw-declawing

Give this page to BF to read, it is perhaps something that sinks in for man better than other things, as it is usually so that for males technical explanations work better than other kind of arguments, he should learn to see aspect trough cat eyes, he should understand how cat works, to really understand what declawing really means, as is case with any human being that has something to do with cats, when one understands how things really are, it is easy to come logical conclusion:
http://www.declawing.com/the-truth-about-declawing

I don't think that anyone that truly can see things trough cat eyes would ever do declawing, so I think that teaching how to see reality instead of fantasy created by imagination by order of emotions, should result much better choices and also ability to see whole picture from animal's point of view also.

So I think that BF here is more that emotional male, very common, never admitted ;-)

I'm really big fan of scientific way of thinking (no, not scientology, that is bs), it might help with these kind of things quite a bit, there are ton of pages about it on net, but for example here is something interesting http://www.relativelyinteresting.com/know-your-logical-fallacies/

 

[wt1964]

Some people just don't get it.   Some time ago, I had an ongoing issue with one of my elder cats peeing all over the house.  I expressed my dismay over this to someone who was more of an acquaintance than a friend, and their response was basically that I should consider having her put down.  I paraphrased it back to her: "So, I'm telling you that my cat is peeing all over the house, and your solution is to kill her"?? 

Sadly, the peeing was part of a bigger problem, and my poor, sweet Mama-cat was done in by a rampant thyroid issue, which the meds weren't controlling.  And while it still breaks my heart, cause I feel like I let her down, she had a long and happy life (14 years) and she was loved.

I have not been in touch with that acquaintance since.

Good luck with the issue with the boyfriend's ignorance

.  Don't really have any advice to offer, but since it's your cat, I'm certain you will do right by him. 

 

[joanncatmom]

 one a little chubby fold is Maru who is a bit of an internet celebrity over there and usually holds the rank of #1 most viewed Youtube video in Japan.

Maru has quite the American following as well.

 

[happybird]

I worked for a wonderful vet while I was in college and any time a client asked about declawing (which we definitely did not do), she would ask how much they would like it if someone cut off all their fingers at the middle knuckle. A bit graphic, but it gets the point across. When I asked her about it, she said she made the decision to not ever declaw cats while she was still in vet school and saw how traumatized the declawed cats were when they woke up after surgery.

 

[jtbo]

Some people just don't get it.   Some time ago, I had an ongoing issue with one of my elder cats peeing all over the house.  I expressed my dismay over this to someone who was more of an acquaintance than a friend, and their response was basically that I should consider having her put down.  I paraphrased it back to her: "So, I'm telling you that my cat is peeing all over the house, and your solution is to kill her"?? 

Sadly, the peeing was part of a bigger problem, and my poor, sweet Mama-cat was done in by a rampant thyroid issue, which the meds weren't controlling.  And while it still breaks my heart, cause I feel like I let her down, she had a long and happy life (14 years) and she was loved.

I have not been in touch with that acquaintance since.

Good luck with the issue with the boyfriend's ignorance :smshfrk: .  Don't really have any advice to offer, but since it's your cat, I'm certain you will do right by him.  :rub:

When I was at that travelling job and mentioned about cats I had to rescue, boss instantly replied that I must kill them, so that I would be available to spend weeks on business trips, I wanted to reply to her that ok, but you must put down your son first, however it might of been bit of problem to have work after that. Now I think that as there has not been much of any work offered that maybe I should of said that, would not been any different

Some people have sick view of the world, they don't understand at all what life is, how all lifeforms have equal right to live as residents of this planet, some have genes of human, some have genes of cat, all are still just lifeforms of the same planet, surely some creatures eat other creatures, but to kill or mutilate just because wanting life form to be something it was not born to be, that is sick.

So many live in artificial life in cities that very few actually are connected with nature and life, so that is probably why so many thinks animals being some objects. It is a shame how such people miss a big part of the world when not seeing real life around them. However most can learn it, will just take quite bit of time.

 

[cutepanda01]

People have different opinions about de-clawing. I did my two in the front, but this one chair needed a cover from all that rubbing. I personally think cats should be declawed or the they tear up your house. (And you, sometimes...Although, mine are sweet and never would scratch me..) I reccomend.

 

[bluebird gal]

Spaying and neutering are humane processes intended to lessen the potential for disease and, most importantly, lessen the unwanted population of animals in general.

Declawing is INhumane.  Period.

Have you tried clipping his nails and using the soft paws product?   I hate to sound like a spokesperson for them, but they have been very effective for our boy Si.  We have all leather furniture & he did a number on it in a couple of places even after trying every variety of scratching posts.  And, of course, arms, hands & feet scratched up accidentally or playing hard.  He tolerates them well & even our vet recommended them - specifically while he was a kitten learning his boundaries.

I hate that you have to argue with your BF over the matter, but in my household when I utter the words "not an option" the DH knows the conversation is over.  Ain't happenin.  I'M the boss when it comes to any animals care & well being because I'm the primary care giver.

 

[carolina]

People have different opinions about de-clawing. I did my two in the front, but this one chair needed a cover from all that rubbing. I personally think cats should be declawed or the they tear up your house. (And you, sometimes...Although, mine are sweet and never would scratch me..) I reccomend.

IMHO if you think that a chair is more important than your cat's health and wellbeing, maybe having cats is not for you.

Second: This is an anti-declaw website, just as an FYI.

From the Forum Rules:
4. This website is anti-declawing. Understand that if you are pro-declaw in your posts, you will encounter opposition. Please learn more about alternatives for declawing here in our forums as well as on our website itself. Declaw - More than Just a Manicure.
http://www.thecatsite.com/t/239112/forum-rules

 

[smitten4kittens]

IMHO if you think that a chair is more important than your cat's health and wellbeing, maybe having cats is not for you.

Second: This is an anti-declaw website, just as an FYI.

   I couldn't agree more.  I LOVE my cats. A chair is just a chair.

 

[jtbo]

One can always restore a chair, one can't undo declawing of the cat, quite easy to see which one is more reasonable option.

I think it would actually be good law that declawing would be allowed, if owner would be declawed same time too, cutting all fingers from 1st joint, then one would have freedom to choose.

Do your pet like you would like to be done to yourself, that is what I think.

There are cats for people that like to treat them as objects, no excuse to torture real one:
[VIDEO][VIDEO]