Originally Posted by Dragoriana
Rant -> I know this thread has been going for ages, but i think i'm checking in. I don't know exactly what goes on here.
I've been trying to lose weight for maybe 10 or more years. I was a slightly chubby child (but not overweight), but once i started high school in 1996 the weight really piled on from stress. I've tried different diets, excercise, writing journals etc. My weight has gone up and down. Numerous deaths, disappointments and bullying affecting my mental and emotional state in my life have been great excuses for gobbling down chocolate and bad food and not getting off my arse.
After i did my trial day at the furniture factory about 2 months ago, my hip has been really sore (i had a dislocated hip when i was born, and got a femoral osteotomy as well as them fixing the hip joint). I'd only get pain maybe after a really really long walk or if i was really tired, but now after this trial (where i supported my weight on my opposite leg but ended up hurting myself anyway) there's been so much pain. It may just be a pinched nerve. Sometimes it will hurt just walking the 100 odd metres to the bus stop, other times it may take half a day of walking. I am scared sh*tless of going to the doc (i don't like hospitals and i don't have the money do make myself pretty).
I did join the gym last year for 6 months to boost my health, and i was doing really well with food as well, but in between i got tonsillitis (twice, first time doc gave me wrong meds and i got sick 10 times worse) and it took me a couple of months to recover, and the few months of membership i had left, i just gave up. I'm still looking for work, and still having problems with Tristan (not on his behalf) and i'm so stressed, and the food is always here at home, and trying to deal with my father. I'm at my wits end.
Tristan says i am beautiful, he doesn't see my flaws (he needs new glasses). We might call up my local gym and see what their prices are like, that he could drive down after work and meet me and we can go there a couple of times a week and start slowly. I have tried a billion times, i don't have the willpower or mental strength to go 'there's a salad sandwich, and takeaway in front of me, i know i can eat the salad and feel good about myself'. Years ago i had a relative (possibly my dads mum) say to me 'you know, you are pretty, but you'd be stunning if you lost the weight', i think dad has also said this at some point. I know people being pr*cks should encourage me to do something, but it makes me feel worse and eat more.
I dont know what to do. I feel if i try again tomorrow, it will only last a few days as usual *sighs* As i have been a part of TCS for 10 months now, i'm hoping from the amazing things i've heard and seen from you all, that i might actually be able to improve my health so i can live a long and happy life, and maybe if i get better self esteem it might improve the mental blocks i have about having a relationship.
Sorry for the long post *sighs*
It's what we're here for, Emma! Get on here, and talk about the things that bother you. It totally helps me to be able to completely discuss all the things that bug me or that I've been having problems with.
If it were me (and I need to do this too, cause I'm waking up every morning with an aching back..) I'd go to a chiropractor. If it's a pinched nerve, they may be able to adjust whichever bones are pinching the nerves. If you go to a regular doctor, they just medicate it and they're not taking care of the root of the problem. I know here people sort of pish posh that chiropractors aren't real doctors, but I have to say, I've had a lot of luck with them, and my mother had a lot of problems where her motion had been limited for years..she'd had a few pinched nerves, and because she went to doctors instead of a chiropractor (until a doctor finally suggested she go to a chiropractor).. her bones did a bit of fusing.. but after she'd gone to a chiropractor, after a while they were able to restore quite a bit (like 80%) of her mobility by unpinching the nerves and realigning her bones to where they should have been. Anyway, I'd at least check with one. I personally think it makes a huge difference, although it often takes more than one session.
I know exactly how you feel about getting on board with doing the "diet" thing, although technically we're not supposed to call them diets.. we're supposed to call them life changes or eating healthier..but anyway, I can't ever stick to one for a long period of time. That's probably the way it is for most of us (or my guess is most of us would be a lot thinner). Regardless, though, what our Weight Watchers leader was saying is that you have to go one day at a time. Make it through the day you're on, and don't think about the days in front of you. And if you have a bad day..don't think about what you've already done, think about what you're going to do tomorrow, and just concentrate on getting through that day.
Some of the things that I've done to cut back on my calories ... eat less fatty cuts of meat. Cut back on butter (we have a great spray here that tastes really good from "I can't believe it's not butter"). It works really well on a lot of things, including baked potatos, toast, english muffins, bagels, etc. Yogurt works well in place of sour cream, and loads less calories (and the full flavored full fat version of yogurt is only nominally higher than the fat free). I've started using higher grain breads, pastas, and if I use white sliced bread, I just get the "lite" versions, which are half the calories. I've made an effort not to cut my Coke out completely, but to cut back on how many I drink in a day. Personally, I find that I don't do well when I have to choose between a steak, or a salad. Obviously I'm going to choose the steak. I just try to cut down on what calories I'm getting from it by doing something like having veggies (and eating the lowest calorie things first). If it comes with a sauce, get it on the side and just dip the tip in to get the flavor..cut off all the visible fat... so, that's how I try to do things.
I'm just trying to take things one step at a time.. one small change for the better, turn that into a habit, and then make another small change for the better. I've had a lot more success doing it that way than trying to just jump into all the changes at once whole heartedly.
Another thing I've found helps me is if I write myself notes. A note on the computer to see if I've logged in my foods for the day. A note near the sink to remind me to drink water. A note on the fridge saying..."are you really hungry?" which prompts me to not eat something if I'm not, but also prompts me to eat something healthier if I am.. I make small goals. I want to lose 5 pounds. I want to walk one extra set of stairs a day. And then I put a note with that on it somewhere I can see it often throughout the day, and concentrate on that goal. Reward yourself (like, my reward is.. I want to lose 5 pounds, but if I lose that 5 pounds and some extra.. great, give myself $2 for every one pound I've lost, and buy myself something with it.) And then set a new mini goal.
And don't let yourself be discouraged by seeing your weight change..sometimes it goes up. Sometimes it goes down, but as long as it's progressively going down, over time, you're accomplishing what you're setting out to do. It's not an easy process. And your weight fluctuates, so weighing yourself (supposedly once a week is best), is not the best indicator of whether you're succeeding or not.
Hopefully some of that is helpful to you. I'm not big on the exercise department.. there are several others here who have really done well in that department, whereas I haven't, so maybe they can chime in with their advice on how to get more or get motivated in that department.
Glad you joined us Emma! Hopefully we can get you motivated!