We've taken on a new cat - Tigger

[felton]

Master Charlie burrowed quickly under the quilt that DW had on her lower legs. So fast did he dive, it looked to me that he teleported himself under the quilt. He was hiding, or wanted darkness to work. If he was hiding, it could have fooled almost anyone if he did not have his tail out. Head hidden, therefore he must be unable to be seen by anyone or anything. Just a lump under the warm quilt.

During the observation process, I happened to notice that Master Tigger was holding DW prisoner along her thighs. Master Tigger was working. Chin on kneecaps, tail straight out, almost to her chin. I do admire his work ethic.

Master Tiggers eyes opened. He looked left. He look right.

and than he allowed me to look down his throat to the inside of his belly button.

"Satisfied?" Master Tigger inquired without closing his chin. (quite the feat. You should try talking with your mouth wide open)

"I wish to take a break, so that you may feed me and allow me to taste the water in the watering station and from the secondary watering station." Master Tigger announced to his secondary/tertiary slaves.

I'm busy, my son answered to the statement.

"That leaves you, silly slave number two." Master Tigger informed me

Yes, master. I hear and obey

"It's good to hear the proper response, for a change." Master Tigger announced

Master Tigger stood up.

S - T - R - E - T - C - H - E - D

Flexed his nails

Yawned

and fell over.

"I meant to do that." Tigger announced (he had a slight blush)

That was a graceful display of how to land on your side, DW and I both told him

"hehehehehheheheheheh" Master Charlie chortled from under the quilt

"Oh shut up!" Tigger muttered

"Wait till I tell the others." Master Charlie said between his chortles

"I'll deny it. I have two slaves to corroborate all that which I say." Tigger said with a air of aloofness.

"Oh... you're killing me with your jokes today....." Master Charlie said, without rolling over. I could tell that he would be rolling around with mirth, but he was under the quilt and between the calves of DW.

Master Tigger swatted at the tail that was demonstrating mirth....

and Master Tigger almost stomped off.

 

[felton]

I had been outside, clearing sidewalks/driveway with the snowblower. During this process, I was covered with a thin layer of snow. Really fine powder snow.

Did I mention that it was vry cold and seemed to cascade off my body when I walked inside.

"AHHHHHHHH get away from me you nasty thing. You're covered with that white stuff and you're COLD! I can see it falling off you and it will make me shiver. Go AWAY!" Master Tigger almost howled

Master Charlie and Shadow Ram came running in.....

and made a hard right turn into the kitchen to avoid where I was standing.

"We want NO PART of you slave. Go somewhere and warm up. We might come to see you for slave duties, but not now." both yelled over their shoulders and they made the right turn.

I shed my other layers and put cold things by the door to dry out and to confine the wetness to the door rug. (I had been instructed by my masters to use this area for such purpose,, and it was backed p by the agreement of my DW, therefore I did)

I was still chilled to the bone..... and went to shower.

I finished such, and we to the bed to put on my clothis, when Master Tigger came over. He placed a paw upon my leg....

promptly withdrew the leg and scowled at me.

"You're wet! Go away and return when dry so as to pay me proper ministrations." Tigger told me with a reagal tone

I had been dismissed

 

[felton]

I was sitting at the table, when Master Charlie came bounding in. Master being the biggest master we are graced with giving a home environment to, it was unmistakable who was bounding in.

Thump
thump
thump

and a brief moment of silence.

Master Charlie had elected to launch himself into a space just above my lap. I was not really paying much attention to my surrounding, as I was reading, it was somewhat of a surprise to suddenly have a very large, heavily muscled master landing.

"Hi slave!" Master Charlie said, as the shock of landing and the traction control was no longer in effect.

uhfffff. Hi master. To what do I owe the pleasure?

"I wish attention." Master Charlie said, while in the process of bonking me in the arm.

Master Tigger was sitting on top of the master tree. Meatloafed with eyes two slits and a brief smile.

Master Charlie was now standing on my left arm/shoulder. Front legs on shoulder. Rear leg on my left wrist. Tail high

"I WANT ATTENTION!" Master Tigger announced to DW as she came walking in.

I hear and I obey, Master Charlie.

"I wish my up button to be scratched." Master Charlie ordered me

Thus I was scritching h at the base of the tail. That resulted in his rear leg extending as straight as it could go.

DW was giving his chin a major scritch.... thus his head was held high and almost touching his spine.

Purr purr purr

"Attention from two slaves at the same time. Wonderful"

Did I mention the location to where Master Charlie extended his tail and back leg? Leg on wrist. My face and nose was in close proximity to Master Charlies tail end, which was held high.

Uh... master? I am not a master, where I have to check tail male whenever I meet a master I've not seen in the last 10 minutes. I'm not..........

"Oh please." Master Tigger announced from the masters tree

"You may discontinue your complaint." Master Charlie announced

"You should have gotten used to this, quite some time back." Master Fluff echoed from the kitchen.

DW was starting to giggle

You have Charlie hair on your chin, your freshly applied chapstick, and your dark sweatshirt DW mentioned.

Ya think? (as I was dry spitting to get the hair off my lips)

"You should be honored that I chose to grace you with my hair, silly slave. You may weave it into a sweater or sock, as DW slave does (referring to her knitting) " Master Charlie told me with a rather aloof/smug look on his face.

Master Tigger had gotten off the tree and was headed for the kitchen. (I didn't see this as I was somewhat distracted by a fwapping tail and a close view of a master going north, while I was at the south.)

Tigger had demonstrated his leaping ability by performing the jump to the countertop, and he was walking about, investigating the food on the counter.

DW chose to go rescue our dinner.

"HEY... COME BACK HERE!" Master Charlie said rather loudly. He was ignored, whereupon he decided that he should sit down.

Master Charlie curled up on my lap and started to work.

 

[felton]

I had just walked into the kitchen, but did not pay any attention to any of the masters. That was a mistake.

"Hey... slave. Pick me up." Master Charlie had ordered

but I was in the ozone.

"HEY!" Master Charlie almost screamed

I was still in the outer reaches of the universe.

This inattention was to pay a price.

Master Tigger stood on his lower regions, and proceeded to demonstrate that Masters are capable of climbing a tree. This particular tree just happened to be made of flesh and blood and had my name attached.

Master Charlie used his traction control and line backer strength that he was capable of demonstrating.

OWWWWWWWW. Yes master? as I quickly stooped and picked Master Charlie up. I started to pet and scritch and give my undivided attention.

"Ah.... that's what I wanted." Master Charlie purred.....

Will you let me stop the bleeding when you've reached the level of

"Oh stop complaining. I gave you sufficient time to change your behaviour before I imparted a lesson you just might, and I do say might, remember.

Yes, master.

Suddenly, Master Charlie started laughing. Master Tigger was rolling on the floor....

and I didn't have a clue as to why.

DW had been coming upstairs, when she closed the door and commenced to giggle

Huh?

"He doesn't have a clue does he?" Master Tigger asked Charlie

Between guffaws, Master Tigger explained...

"That long haired furball, he of long black ..

(very dark brown you three legged misfit Master Shadow bawled out)

and the walking skill of a bowling ball has almost fallen off the ledge of the Master TV screen." Master Charlie was telling while he had his mouth within an inch of my ear. (did I mention that he was practically shouting while laughing and almost rolling in my arms?)

Master Shadow sat down and started to bath, thus following the master axiom of: When in doubt, bath. Thereby not showing embarassment by not acknowledging he has done something to embarrass himself.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, Master Tigger sauntered down the hall, following his primary slave.

DW opened the door to her yarn stash, and searched for something of which I have no knowledge nor ability to fathom. Knitters and the other subspecies of crocheting universe provide masters with endless hours of fun. Concentrating on that slim moving string that is a masters toy or matters of concentrating and pounce was contained within the little box, once known as the hall linen closet.

Master Tigger was provided with a place to explore. Little nooks enveloped in darkness had to be explored with a stealth that only masters are capable.

and DW obtained what she wanted and closed the door.

This bothered Master Tigger not in the slightest. It would seem he was content to explore in the dark. Play'n in the dark. Waiting in the dark to see if any toy was about to present itself for his pleasure.

DW noticed her primary master was no longer in attendence, so she searched.

Looking in room after room. She called..... she called and looked..... she looked left and right.... and saw that Master Shadow was rolling on the floor

It would appear that turnabout was fair play.

I had gone to the couch and was paying attention to Master Charlie.

"heheheheheheh" Stereo laughs and giggles and demonstrations of mirth

and not a word from the yarn stash.

Finally, DW remembered the brief flash of marmalade that had entered the stash, but did not register in her brainpan.

"It took you awhile, silly slave. I played master games within this blackness so as to test your powers of memory. It took you more time than I expectred." Master Tigger said with some aloofness.

and he walked away.

I think I heard a muttered "Oh shutup you two." going in the direction of Masters Charlie and Shadow, but I could be mistaken.

"You are." Master Tigger muttered as he went to work

 

[felton]

I had just returned home from work. I tend to be a bit peckish, after 12 hours, so I opened the door to the chiller box that happens to be in the kitchen. I espied some fried chicken, so I took a leg/wing and placed them in a small dish. Not wishing to overinduldge, I let the door close and started to head to the couch.

"I see that you have obtained some chicken for us to eat, silly slave." Master Shadow told me.

During this same conversation, Master Charlie uttered:

"AH... my food for the next hour. Thank you slave." Master Charlie said with a look of satisfaction on his face.

"How did you know I was hungry, Oh wonderful slave." Master Tigger informed me with a slight flick of his tongue over his lips.

How is it that all of you seem to suddenly appear whenever I open the door to the chill chest? Or open a can of food? Of open a cabinet door?

I asked all the master this same question?

What I received in answer to this questinon was a paw that was placed on my leg. Claws were pressing against my flesh so as to get my attention.

"That is a question we will NOT answer. We have our secretes and slaves are not permitted access to this knowledge. We could tell you, but we'd have to kill you." All three masters told me this at the same time.

uh huh..... thank you.

Whereupon I went to the couch.

Master Tigger came running in and launched .....

and landed on my chest. Have you ever had a 8 pound master land with a thump? It can change your day if you're not prepared.

I had about a second to prepare. Good thing I did, otherwise the chicken would have bounced out of the plate and become fair game to anybody with four legs who happened to be in the immediate vicinity. (what they were hoping for?)

Master Tigger placed his nose about an inch from my face and....

"Ah.... chicken. I'd like some of that leg please. Soniceofyoutogetitoutofthatdrattedcoldstorageboxthankyouthankyou ( So nice of you to get it out of that dratted cold storage box thank you thank you)

Kibble breath you have oh mighty master. Please sit over there. -------->

DW and number one son were laughing at this exchange, having gone through this very same situation not an hour before.

I'll bet he's going to give them some chicken, my son stated.

You're right. he's a pushover. DW agreed

GO AWAY, Masters. I'll not share. You'll starve, I know, but I'm NOT sharing.

"We're famished. We'll die of hunger and you abuse us." Stereo cats exclaimed

Uh huh... You starving masters go away.

------repeat this short conversation many times-------------

I did not give in. Thus my son lost the bet, as did my DW.

My name became mud.

 

[felton]

I, being a simple slave, do not have access to the fundamental knowledge that a master is privy. I cannot fathom the concepts of: "Bending space/time to bi-locate to another part of the universe" or "Amounts of work necessary to maintain the health of a master" or "Master guile 101". To name just a few. Unless I'm mistaken, my son has not been trained by any master of these essential secrets. Thus it came to pass,

Master Tigger went to DW and told her: "Pick me up and pet me. I need attention."

DW complied with this respect, unaware that number one son was being summoned to the door that leads downstairs. (they were near the workstation)

"Open this door silly slave!" Master Shadow told number one son, as he was climbing the stairs.

I've been reliable informed that it was near the time that Master's Shadow, Charlie and Laptop were to be feed. Master Tigger, when alone in the upper area of our house, leaves food in his bowl. Master Tigger will only eat that which he needs to sustain his life till next he decides he needs to partake of his food. When other masters are upstairs, we must place his food in the closet, least others consume the special diet meant for those masters who need to take care of their kidney disease.

Even though he has only three legs, two front and one rear, Master Charlie seems to be the fastest of all our masters. He can be a marmalade blur that barely registers upon our optic nerves. He's just plain fast.

Returning to the situation:

I'm at work, earning the necessary money to maintain our abode so that 4 masters are maintained to the level to which they desire.

DW has just picked up Master Tigger, who was in the process of distracting his primary slave.

Number one son, sometimes known as secondary slave; tertiary slave to those masters who are younger than alpha Master Tigger, or just plain only child to any other slave who happens to be of our acquaintance.

Master Shadow has just ordered slave/son to open door.

Tertiary slave, wishing to please his primary master, opens the door.

DW is walking around the corner, having come down the hall with Master Tigger in her arms. She is giving her primary slave the attention he so richly deserves, and Master Tigger has been whispering subliminal instructions to her hidden within the purring that she hears.

"Go down the hall into the kitchen. Do it now!" Master Tigger has instructed DW

Meanwhile: The door opens

Master Charlie has started the bi-location process so as to arrive at the bowl of food that Master Tigger has left on the kitchen floor. He is no longer a blur....

"AH HAH!!!! I'm going to get his food this time. Way to go Shadow for distracting your primary slave. Thanks... I owe ya one." Master Charlie chortled as he bent his head to start eating Master Tiger’s food.

Number one son is closing the door.

DW is turning the corner looking into the kitchen.

Master Shadow is sitting by the corner that is beside the door that leads downstairs. Master Shadow wants to see how successful the ploy to obtain forbidden food will be.

The marmalade master shifts back into our normal space time continuum and is espied by DW.

DW speaks loudly to Master Charlie.

Secondary slave, being the youngest slave in the house is able to move at a much faster rate than any other slave. While not as quick as a master, he thinks quickly and reacts quickly.

"Arrrrrggggghhhhhhh caught again!" Master Charlie howls

Master Charlie's head stops while he makes this pronouncement.

"Foiled again!"

Secondary slave has taken advantage of this surprise interruption and grabbed the food bowl. Almost taking food out of the mouth of masters who are starved and underfed. Abused by slaves who feed them not enough.

Master Shadow is laughing

Master Tigger looks at Master Charlie with some disdain and says:

"You really should have checked with me before you decided to eat my food."

"AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH" seems to be the only response from Master Charlie

Disdain and laughter

and I missed it.

 

[felton]

I was sitting on the bed, taking off shoes/socks, about to put on slippers, when Master Tigger came sauntering in.

"Hello silly slave." Tigger said with his normal grandness that allowed a touch of aloofness to show through.

Hi Tigger

"That's Master Tigger to you, Slave!" Tigger said in a somewhat irritated tone as he stopped glared at me.

Yes, master. I abase myself before your greatness.

"Harrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmpppppfffff." Master Tigger said grumpily

When this little exchange was completed, Master Tigger, who was sitting by the door, launched himself with great speed toward his ladder.

Master Tigger has used the box that my CPAP machine sits on, the CPAP machine itself, and the nightstand as a ladder to get atop the bed most of the time. He is, after all, almost 19 years old and demonstrates economy of motion in many things. ("I heard that silly slave. I'm ALPHA around here, and I can & will demonstrate how to do things you are unable to. Silly two legged slave." Master Tigger muttered under his breath)

Master Tigger started his bi-location, becoming a marmalade blur to the eyes.

He stepped up on the box.

He stepped on to the top of the CPAP machine

and proceded to slip/slide

The rear end began to slide and he hit the nightstand with his right hindquarter.

His front right leg was almost on top of the bed

His front left was curled up, ready to extend to the top of the bed, thereby allowing a gentle walk onto the bed. Economy of motion was being demonstrated.

but.............

the unexpected slip/slide changed the position of his front legs ever so slightly

The front legs were not in a position to use traction control ....

and his jaw came down upon the bed.

"Errrrrrrrrmmmmmmmpppppppfffffffffffff" Master grunted in embarassment.

Inasmuch as Master Tigger couldn't see me, I quickly averted my head and eyes. I see nothing. I hear nothing. I say nothing. I'm a slave putting on my slippers.

Master Tigger quickly recovered and reposistioned himself on the masters workstation, and proceeded to bath his left leg. (when in doubt bath.... and nothing happened that shouldn't have happened. That's a unwritten law of masters, learned at a very very early age)

Oh.. hi Master. Do you wish attention or should I go about my slave business.

"Go about your business. I shall bath and ponder the universe very soon.

Yes, master. I hear and obey.

DW came out of the bathroom and she had heard and seen nothing as well.

Slaves put into their proper place and going about slave business.

 

[felton]

I must apologize to one and all for not having posted about Master Tigger since the 18th of last month, but I’ve been working long hours and have not seen that much of my master. (I’m in the disaster relief business and unfortunately business is booming.
The Tigger Chronicles continues:

I was sitting at my computer desk and happened to look up and toward “The Watering Station” and witnessed the following:
Master Tigger was crouched down, intently gazing down at the floor. Tail fwapping back and forth….

and Master Tigger made a horizontal movement of some 12 inches. (I asked Master Tigger later how he was able to make such a move, but he smiled and ignored the question, letting me place the question into the “Many Mysteries of Masters” box unanswered.

The horizontal movement resulted in no solid surface underneath Master Tigger. The weak gravitational force acted upon Master Tigger (I’m sure that Master Tigger did this to make me wonder about his movements) and he dropped, not unlike that which Galileo Galilei demonstrated at the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Master Tigger dropped and I thought I heard a scream/howl that I’ve heard on nature television shows when a large master has pounced upon prey from a height. It may have been a scream of: “I am about to die!” from his prey but I’m unsure of that fact.

Master Tigger caught his victim. Master Tigger also let everyone within earshot that he had terminated a successful hunt.

The Mighty Straw Hunter shook his prey to break its neck and called out to his slave.
“I have caught this elusive creature and I wish to grace you with the carcass upon you as a mark of my respect and esteem with which I hold you.”

Oh… thank you master. DW called back

I was ignored, but I did witness his rapid departure from the scene of his kill. Or I thought I did. All that I saw was a blur of marmalade and heard a very quiet swish. It may be my imagination though. I’ve found that my feeble brain will put sights and sounds into a scene I’ve just witnessed that it is incapable of understanding. I am, after all, a silly slave. Masters rarely impart knowledge upon my visage so as to keep me confused. Easily done

 

[felton]

I must apologize to one all of those indivuals who like reading about Master Tigger. I am a disaster relief employee and, unfortunately, business has been booming. Thus, I have not been home to observe or experience the life and times of 4 demanding, frolicsome, interesting, sometimes boring or anecdotal/conversational descriptions of my masters.

I walked in the door and expected something other than what I actually received.

"I'm hungry and you're the closest slave to this area of my domain where you hide that which I find capable of my sustanance. FEED ME!" Master Shadow informed and ordered.

HUH?

"Are you deaf? Do you not understand what I just ordered?" Master Shadow asked

I heard Master Charlie and Master Tigger snicker from the carpert covered masters relaxation tree.

"Shutup you two." Master Shadow muttered

"He's a slave! You expect him to be capable of effective hearing? He barley hears our screams, let alone a mouse walking across the floot or the conversations of those of us who rule the world." Master Charlie chortled

"I know, but he does 'occasionily' show signs that he understands that I'm hungry." Tigger replied

Huh?

"See what I mean?" Master Tigger laughingly informed Master Charlie

"Oh shut up!" Master Shadow replied

Master Tigger's primary slave turned the corner into the kitchen, and she promptly received a plaintive, pittiful, anguished, request for food as he was bemoaning how famished and starving ............

Oh! Stop Master Shadow. You were fed not an hour ago. I know, because I was the one who fed you.

"Oh.... for a a slave who listens to the demands of a master. I should have chosen a different faminly, but this group was the only slaves who decided to take my brother along with me." Master Shadow complained.

"I heard that! You're a bottom feeding, dog loving, short haired haired envious, cat box murky breathed, RETARD!" his brother Master Laptop bellowed from the stairwell.

"Why don't you tell us how you really feel about your brother." Master Tigger laughingly said

Whereupon Master Tigger sauntered up to his primary slave and asked politely for food.

and she complied.

"AAAAAAaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhh!" Master Shadow wailed. "I'm going to die of starvation and you're there eatting in front of me."

"That's because my slave listens to me." Master Tigger replied. "Now go away and let me eat in peace."

and Master Shadow stomped away

 

[felton]

"Whatcha doin'?" Master Tigger asked as he walked upon, over, in, through my computer case. "I wanna help and it looks like you need help." Tigger told me

On my desk was the guts of my machine.

"You need my help too." Master Charlie told me as he jumped up on the desk and stood on my video card.

Master Shadow came strolling in. He jumped up on the desk.

Is there anyone else who wants to help me fix this computer? I asked rhetorically

"Do I need to give you English lessons?" Master Tigger asked

"He needs something. He's a mumblemouth right now." Master Charlie said

"What'd he say?" Master Shadow asked

I had had a tooth removed and some other dental work on another tooth. Therefoe I did have mumble mouth. My spousal unit had great fun with my situation.

My masters were having fun with it also.

Master Tigger was half in and half out of the computer case. He was looking left and right, deciding where he wanted to help. He decided to come over to the motherboard, where I was looking closely at the very fine print, trying to make sense of what I needed to setup next.

"If you set that jumper over there, you'll have it set the way you want." Master Tigger told me.

Yes, master. I'll do that next.

Whereupon I left the computer room and when to the workstation. Having help from 3 masters to fix my computer left me in the dark master hair, white master hair and marmalade hair in my eyes and more importantly: stuck to my freshly applied chapstick.
Days can be like that.

My day had thus gone, so I went to bed.

 

[felton]

"When are you going to change the swill dog food you're feeding me!" Master Tigger asked

You have a kidney disease that you need to overcome before we stop feeding you this swill. I told my master.

"Dog food getting to you?" Master Charlie asked Master Tigger

"I'm going to hurt you as soon as this slave turns on the watering station!" Master Tigger almost snarled

"hehehehheh catch me if you can!" Charlie chortled (Master Charlie is the fastest of our masters, even though he's missing a leg)

and master Charlie disappeared.

Master Tigger walked to the hall and looked back as I was putting his food dish away so that the other masters would not eat his special food.

"Let them have that dog food!" Master Tigger ordered as he walked down the hall

I followed and went to the sink.

"Well?" my masters asked while I was turning on the water.

"He's slow and talks funny" Master Shadow said to Charlie

I started petting and giving attention to all three masters, waiting for the alpha to start drinking.

I'm not got to stand here all day, wasting water while you decide to drink.

"Huh? What did you say, silly slave?" one of my masters asked. "You mumbled."

Master Tigger finally started drinking and I went to the computer room to work. I called out the the masters were drinking. Primary slave to Master Tigger acknowledged.

Master Tigger walked into the computer room. He jumped up on the desk and stood beside the keyboard. He shook his head.

Oh.. thank you master. I needed that shower just now. I told Tigger.

"You're welcome. You need to bath, because you smell like dog swill." Master Tigger told me with a grin.

and he left me to wipe my face.

"Is that drool too?" Master Charlie asked with a grin

I think they ganged up on me

 

[felton]

“I really wish you would tell my admirers of my daily life more often, slave!” Master Tigger grumbled
You have not done such that would deserve being engraved on the tablets of immortality, my master. Everything you’ve done has been reported before.
“Do you think you know what other slaves are thinking and what they want to read?” Master Tigger remarked and asked with somewhat of a sarcastic manner
Uh… no master. I don’t know what your readers would like to hear about your life or how often I should report on your marmalade madness.

“Madness? Madness of King George?” Tigger remarked with a grin
You’ve been watching history with us again?
“How could I NOT!, silly slave. I watch what you have on 99% of the time. Sometimes I get you to watch something I want to watch, but most often it’s all interesting.” Tigger remarked

“NOW ASK MY ADORING SLAVES WHAT THEY WANT IN THE WAY OF REPORTING OF MY LIFE AND TIMES!!!!!” Master Tigger roared

Yes, master I hear and obey

 

[kluchetta]

Originally Posted by felton

“I really wish you would tell my admirers of my daily life more often, slave!†Master Tigger grumbled
You have not done such that would deserve being engraved on the tablets of immortality, my master. Everything youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve done has been reported before.
“Do you think you know what other slaves are thinking and what they want to read?†Master Tigger remarked and asked with somewhat of a sarcastic manner
Uh… no master. I donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know what your readers would like to hear about your life or how often I should report on your marmalade madness.

“Madness? Madness of King George?†Tigger remarked with a grin
Youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve been watching history with us again?
“How could I NOT!, silly slave. I watch what you have on 99% of the time. Sometimes I get you to watch something I want to watch, but most often itâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]s all interesting.†Tigger remarked

“NOW ASK MY ADORING SLAVES WHAT THEY WANT IN THE WAY OF REPORTING OF MY LIFE AND TIMES!!!!!†Master Tigger roared

Yes, master I hear and obey

My hubby likes hearing of Master Tigger's exploits!

 

[felton]

It''s difficult to relate new news that doesn't seem like a instant replay of what has occurred before, thus the lapse in time now and again. This is, I believe, to be new.

Tiggers slave number 3, otherwise known as myself, has undergone an unusual event. I had a tooth removed and bone put in the empty space. Nothing new in this world, except I'm 63 years old. The tooth was to small and fragile to repair the cavity that occurred under the gum line. Something that just happened that even the best of tooth brushing could prevent. Implantation of donor bone is a bit out of the ordinary, but implacement of braces is. I had 4 teeth that had grown in crooked because of varying sizes. It never bothered me, nor did I have the room to straighten the teeth.

I now have the room to straighten the teeth and that will be the course of action. Straighten, move and otherwise make my mouth suffer from braces, wires and such.

Now for the news concerning my Master Tigger.

I now have many and varied brushes and devices to care for and feed my little wire and braces.

I'm going through the process of brushing my teeth, when Master Tigger saunters in, climbs up to the sink.

"I wish to have water from this watering station, silly slave." Master Tigger informed me

mumble gargle mumble and gag somewhat - translation: I'm sorry master, I have to brush my teeth and gargle with so of that nasty stuff and apply gel to the metal in my mouth.

"Do you know how to talk to a master, STUPID SLAVE?" Master Tigger told me impatiently

mumble gargle and spit.... translation: Yes master. I shall.

Master Tigger stepped down into the sink to assume the water station position.

I didn't rinse the sink..... or I should say I was not given sufficient time to rinse the sink

----------- insert a YOWL not unlike that which is heard when a master is revealed to a evil vet -----------------------------

As a side not: I have no idea how sensitive the paws of a master is to the chemicals used in brushing teeth or the application of fluoride gel to teeth, but I think I just found out.

Yes, master? Is something wrong? (I hoped the placid response to screaming and dancing in the sink would placate my master.)

Another side note: Have you ever seen a master who has his rear legs much higher than his front bounce up his front and try to place his paws under the stream of water to rinse the "smelly evil stuff from his paws" and land with a semi-rinsed paw back in the smelly stuff he is trying to avoid but no matter where he placed his paws he will land in the smelly stuff.

---------- continue the yowl ---------------

Master Charlie has come into the room and is now sitting on top of the toilet where he can fully observe what is happening.

Right.... Master Charlie yells

Left ........ Master Tigger yowls

BOTH!!!!!!!!!!!! Master Tigger now howls to all within hearing (I think two blocks is the distance, but I'm most likely wrong)

I manage to place my left hand under the chest of my howling frustrated master. I do so without receiving any type of injury.

------ insert yowls of frustration and mounting anger ------------

I grab on leg and place it under the stream of water.....

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

I just manage to get the other leg and place it under the water.

ahhhhhhhhhhh

"There are times, when you are useful silly slave. This has been one such time." Master Tigger told me.

The volume was getting louder and louder so I thought I'd be on the receiving end of one of his famous dressing down that which would make a Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps envious and use as a model to other Marine Corp drill instructors to use.

Master Charlie was egging his alpha on. ..... something to the effect of:
Now Now do it now rip is arms off and stuff them down his throat.... NOW

I should mention did show restraint while I rinsed off both his paws and the sink. He looked upward and gave me a nod that I had now returned the watering station to the condition that which was now acceptable to him.

Master Tigger flicked his traction control devices to the point where I felt them. Nothing injurious or enough to leave a scratch or draw blood. Enough point to make a point that his point was to now let him settle into the sink to drink.

I did so.

and Master Tigger began to purr....

I escaped as quickly as I could.

 

[felton]

Somewhere in the annals of history, it was determined that humans must be subjected to torture that is voluntary in nature. The human who elects to endure this irritation, agony and that has come down through the ages when we were a hirsute group of bipeds who grunt, asks himself over and over why that person has subjected himself to wearing braces on their teeth.

I am one of those people who has chosen to endure this voluntary almost self inflected pain. I chose to eat uncooked raw carrots and other hard but good for my body food.

The bending of wire didn't enter my feeble mind.

The forcible displacement from the front of a tooth of the holding device for the wire was not considered.

The disappearance into the inner workings of my body of the brace that held the was the furtherest concept that I could not grasp when I chose to eat.

What I did consider was that Masters Charlie, Shadow Ram and Tigger were all trying to get my attention.

I did not pay one iota of attention to what they were saying, not thinking they were trying to warn me of what I was about to do to myself. My masters, I thought, were trying to obtain tasty morsels of food to consume.

I was wrong and I am now paying the price of non-attention to warnings.

I have a wire sticking into my inner cheek. I have a small wire holding device passing through my body.

I have masters who are shaking their heads in disgust.

I am now sitting on a white throne beside the masters watering station, while my darling spousal unit is using a pair of wire cutters to remove that which has intruded itself into the inner workings of my cheek.

Master Tigger and Master Charlie are sitting on the watering station, peering down my throat, while my wife is pushing my head to the left, right, up and down to get the light into my mouth so she can cut the wire and not my aged ignorant stupid and non-thinking body.

Master Tigger chortles. Master Charlie guffaws

and I try to hang my head in shame, but my wife admonishes me to keep my head in the position she has pushed me.

----------- snip ----------------

Than my wife calls that practitioner of pain and abuse to setup an appointment to restore the wires and devices that cost more than the price of gold.

and I await my course of instruction on the proper care and feeding of braces that my masters had been trying to teach, since they have already taught my son. (He laughs in the dining room as I record my shame)

My dentist is not unhappy with me. He has a grin. He loves his job

 

[kluchetta]

Oh my goodness!!! Hahahaha!

 

[felton]

I have just returned from that practitioner of pain, who was actually happy with my mouth. It only takes a short period of time to replace the wire and device that I seem to have swallowed. We're friends as we've known each other for 27 years. I like him. My wife likes him. My son likes him.

Master Tigger and Master Charlie do not. They want more wire and more shiny stuff so that when I smile they can say:

"Ohh..... Shiny! May we have a closer look? Can we can we can we?"

This is normally done with their mouth about 2 inches from mine. Right after they have eaten.

As far as I know, Masters do not have close in vision where they can look at something in fine detail, so I can only assume that they wish to make me uncomfortable under the guise of asking for my health and welfare.

Not to mention the kitty breath.

"Ohhh shiny. May we look closer?"

Master Tigger and than Master Charlie.

Close enough to kiss.

Ah... the love and attention of my masters. Warms my heart it does.

 

[felton]

I have discovered a few facts about my masters.

1. Master Charlie will try to dance on one leg during his attempt to have some of my tuna fish sandwich that I was making.
2. Master Tigger, Master Charlie and Master Shadow will all become very very friendly when I eat a open face tuna fish sandwich.
3. Master Tigger & Master Charlie will both jump upon my lap and extol the virtue of feeding them both tuna fish. This is a situation that must be dealt with with some finesse when both my masters both jump upon my lap at that same time while I about to eat a section of the open face tuna fish sandwich. Both masters will try to get me to lower my arm that holds the sandwich. One arm holding a sandwich; 4 paws that have traction control devices placing their arms/paws on my arm and sandwich so as to lower the sandwich to they may eat their proper due as masters of slaves. While is is occuring, both masters are using traction control and sitting on their sit-upon. Master Fluff/shadow Ram is getting my attention by standing on his rear legs and batting at my elbow and shouting that he is dying of hunger.

"I may LOOK like a wide body master, BUT I am mostly hair that demonstrates the law of static electricity that Mr. Tesla was famous for. I am SKINNY AND EMACIATED AND STARVING AND HUNGRY!!!"

Master Fluff is making his point by batting my elbow with sharp little points!

I must also protect my other two tuna fish open face sandwich from the inquiring minds that wish to know about the taste and consistency of tuna and toast. Have I mentioned that all my masters like the taste of my toast?

The combination of toast, tuna fish, mayo and pickles on my plate has proven to be similar in nature to the Pied Piper of Hamlin.

All three masters are now trying to get my attention by increasing the volume of their requests.

My darling wife, who has chosen to have a ham and cheese sandwich is not controlling her mirth. She utters guffaw, laughter, giggles and other descriptive forms of humor at my situation. Shaking as if a earthquake that measures in the 8.5 range of the Ricter scale is a sight that must be seen, if one were not the source of such geological upheaval.

Unbeknownst to me, darling wife is taking the bowl that which I used to mix the concoction three masters and I were trying to eat. The bowl is of sufficient size that three heads of masters my lick every molecule of tuna off and thus consume the chicken of the sea.

Darling wife emits that special call to masters that indicates to them, that they are about to receive sustenance from their special slave.

Hearing thus, they depart quickly. My sandwich forgotten. Food awaits

Dancing, meows and begging now take place as DW places the bowl on the floor.

Three heads and tongues

I eat my sandwich in peace, but I leave enough for three hungry masters. I share, being very careful that fingers are still intact from Master Charlie and Master Laptop. They feel that they WILL receive/TAKE that which is their due.

----------------- insert several hours ---------------

Darling Wife has recovered from her earlier moments of mirth and is determining what shall be prepared for the evenings repast.

I take a small handful of turkey jerky. DW warns me rather sternly that she will allow this one intrusion into her domain of her snack food. Very few types of jerky can be consumed by my DW, thus she protects that which she can consume without harm. Migraine city visits me by air pollution. MSG and other foodstuffs visit upon her.

I sit upon the couch and eat those small pieces I was permitted.

Has anyone ever heard of teleportation? Has anyone every heard of beaming technology that is used by Captain James Tiberius Kirk and improved upon by Montgomery Scott.

Master Tigger has appeared upon my chest. His mouth is millimeters from mine. His left paw pad is on my cheek, gently pushing my mouth open. His intention is to take from my mouth the piece of turkey jerky that I have just placed there to eat. With the limited thinking brainpower I have at my disposal, I make the determination that Master Tigger has decided that he will take that which is rightfully his. It matters not to him that I was about the masticate the matter being discussed.

Master Tiggers wants the turkey jerky. Master Tigger will take the turkey jerky from the jerk who has not given him first choice of the tasty morsel now before him.

Little points of pressure that are capable of ripping me into shreds are reminding me that he is alpha within his domain. This includes the slave that is me.


I give Master Tigger some small pieces of turkey jerky. I remember that he has had several teeth removed and small pieces are mandatory.

I manage to survive the faux paux of not giving Master Tigger first choice.

DW now calls from the kitchen that I should first give Master Tigger first choice of any turkey jerky that is about to be consumed and that he will appear suddenly from anywhere in his domain. Master Tigger is alpha.

I think DW has just taught me a lesson.

 

[felton]

"There are days that I am in despair that you do not care for and properly attend your master." Master Tigger informed me as we were looking eye to eye. I had gotten down on the floor and was laying there listening to comments by all.

"You don't feed us enough." Master Shadow commented

"That's because you're a piglet and eat everything in site." his brother commented. Having known him since birth I didn't say anything.

"I STARVE" Master Shadow said..... and followed with: "My long hair stands out and hides how gaunt and underfed I am.

I shall not describe the many raucous comment that followed so as not to upset any reader. Some may be young or unknowing of the comments that some of our masters make.

I lay and listened to many comments, suggestions and demands. I said no to many: i.e. milk and dairy products. Products containing garlic and other foods that can harm a master. Chicken bones and such

Howls of protest.

I asked that my masters not place their nose within millimeters of my mouth or plate contents when I was eating on my stomach watching TV or on the couch when watching TV (although I fully realize what will happen when I eat in such locations, I still do so because I'm a kid at heart and will allow some food to be eaten by my masters when doing so. I must take great care that my fingers are also eaten. This takes pressure away from my DW and son BTW)

My masters told me that they would consider my request. (I heard the laughter when I left the room after our little talk so methinks they'll not acquiesce to the request)

------------------ insert several hours ------------------

I was eating chicken while on the couch.

I had friends aplenty. Left/right and on my shoulder like a vulture with a paw that would try to intercept what I was eating.

Heavy sigh.... my little talk had fallen on deaf ears.

 

[felton]

Due to my advanced age and memory loss, I forgot to pass on this little item.

DW had gone to the evil vet to purchase the three different types of food we must provide our masters for their continued health and well being. Leaving open bags of food, we have found (you may have experienced this as well) where masters are able to access/chew their way through to the food and gorge themselves is not something we wish to have happen again. Thus we place all the food in large plastic containers that have good solid lids and a seal to preserve freshness.

One large empty bag of cat food.

One curious cat named Tigger

Cat in a bag is always fun. Cat in a bag that has been freshly emptied of food is more fun.

Master Tigger will attempt to get every molecule of cat food in the back of the bag. The top of the bag, the sides of the bag

A bag that rolls around on the floor, with a master inside is fun indeed.