We've taken on a new cat - Tigger

[felton]

"He's still waiting. How dumb is that?" Master Tigger muttered.

"It would appear that he's waiting for a command or instruction." Tigger said

(I was sleeping)

"Let me apply attention getting." .... and thus he applied 20 claws to my leg.

OOoooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww. What is it master?

"I need water. Turn it on." Tigger ordered

He's been waking me up every hour demanding water. He's been very tiresome, DW said

So now it's my turn? I asked...

"It is your turn." Tigger told me

You can join me in the shower and drink all you wish... I told Master.

"I'll get soaking wet!" Tigger almost howled

Your choice, master. I must get ready for work.

"aaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh You're hopeless!" Master Tigger told me

Yes, master. Thank you.

"See! I'll have to start training you soon." Tigger muttered

Yes, master. Training again When?

 

[felton]

"Y O W LLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" [translated: I'm going to rip off your head and let the dogs next door use it a soccer ball!"

I heard this as I turned the corner into the kitchen. (everyone in the house could hear Master Tigger tell Master Shadow this bit of information. I suspect that our neighbors could hear this as well)

When I turned the corner, I saw Master Tigger about to restrain Master Shadow, but he wriggled free and was passing beside me as I turned the corner. I espied Master Tigger in "Hot Pursuit"

For reasons known only to my maker, I dropped to one knee and placed my arm directly in the path that Master Tigger was about to use.

------------ insert 10 minutes time ------------

You know that you spent 3 days in the hospital the last time you "broke up" a altercation between Tigger and one of his minions? You remember that don't you dear husband? Don't you have any muscle memory of the pain?

------------ Revert to original time line ---------------

I placed my arm in the path that Master Tigger was using, and managed to stop his progess so that he would not render into mush his minion. I managed to stop Master Tigger, HOWEVER, Master Tigger used his traction control on my hand.

"WHY!!!!!!!!!! D I D YOU S T O P ME!!!!!" Tigger demanded

Number one son placed himself in the doorway between the hallway, front door atrium and short hall to living room/garage access so as to hinder the progress of our master.

I placed myself behind Master Tigger to prevent his progress in the other direction.

"I am going to show that newcomer kitten who is BOSS around here!" Master Tigger almost thundered for all to hear.

------------ insert sufficient time to allow Master Tigger to cool down -----------

I picked Master Tigger up. Talking in a soothing manner and petting him.....

Master Tigger started to purr.......

"I have a really horrid headache right now. It's a killer, let me tell you." Tigger told me.

I see master. I understand that you may have one, since you're to get some IV fluids tonight. We know all about how horrible it must be to undergo such headaches because of your kidney disease. We don't want you to have to suffer such. That's why we poke a needle in you and give you much attention and tender loving care when it happens.

I walked into the presence of DW, and she proceeded to give love and affection. (Master Shadow had made himself scare for some reason)

I handed Master Tigger over to DW and went to wash my right hand and wrist. Blood was just an ooze now. (Number one son asked me why I call him number one son, when he's our only son. I responded with.... it's the truth is it not?)

Thus I ensured domestic tranquility..... or is it domestic feline tranquility?

"We are worshiped as gods, so why are you telling everyone that we're domestic? We are here, worldwide, so how can we be domestic?" Tigger asked me as I noted the occasion in his journal.

 

[felton]

Bath bath bath bath barh.......

Master Tigger was taking a break and performing a normal master ritual, so I picked him up.

"Hey.... I was bathing!" Tigger complained.

I proceeded to drape him over my shoulder and give him attention.

purr purr purr purr purr....

"I was bathing, silly slave." Tigger complained again.... (while purring)

and Master Tigger jumped to the workstation.

Do you wish no attention, master?

"No. I wish to prepare for work." Tigger complained... and started to bath again.

bath bath bath.....

Master Charlie looked at me and ....

"Pick me up slave." Charlie ordered

"Pet me."

Yes... master.

and Master Charlie applied accupuncture technique to my shoulder.....

Ouch..... ouch.... thank you master.

"You're welcome." Charlie purred in my ear.

and Master Tigger jumped to the glass door.... and started nattering

"Oh... I want that bird." Tigger nattered

So Charlie jumped down and went to the door.

"I want that dove! He's mine!" Charlie nattered to Tigger

and than I had to get ready for work.

When I exited the rain locker.... Master Tigger was working

and Master Charlie was meatloafed by the glass door. Eyes almost closed, but I could see he was observing all that moved.....

In hopes of getting the dove.

 

[felton]

"Wake up slave" Master Tigger ordered

uh..... what is it master.

"I desire liquids from the water station. It's your turn." Tigger informed me quietly so as to not awaken his primary slave.

Yes, master.

and he drank. and drank, and drank, and drank.....

I looked at the clock and noticed that I had to get up in 40 minutes so I went in the kitchen and started the coffee.

Master Tigger came in.....

"I'm not hungry, silly slave. I will take some attention and go to work when you have your hot liquid. Horrid stuff that......" Master Tigger scowled

Yes, master. So I picked him up and gave him attention. He wanted quite a bit, so the coffee was done when he wanted down. I poured a cup and sat on the workstation, waiting for the alarm clock.

DW woke up with the alarm clock, as I was finishing the 2nd cup of coffee. DW told Master Tigger that she appreciated that he had awakened DH for water.

"It was his turn, primary slave. He went to work early and you stayed up late with me and gave me attention." Tigger said aloofly.

Thank you again......

I went to work early.

 

[felton]

I was posting a new thread where it was a game that features a master.

http://www.members.shaw.ca/gf3/circle-the-cat.html

when Master Tigger:

"What cha doin?" Tigger asked as he walked over the keyboard.

fffffffffffffffiiiiiiiii'''''''''essssssssss..........ccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhg.... ..

"I don't think you should post that for that fun little game, silly slave." Tigger told me as I put a little example of his conversation here.

Why?

"It will take slaves attention away from other masters. Are you born silly or did you work at it?" Tigger inquired (with a grin)

Uh....

"I know. You were dragged around by a dog and he hit your head on a table leg." Tigger chortled

Uh....

"You have a wonderful conversation style." Tigger again remarked with a grin

Uh.....

You want to go play that game. I can tell." Tigger said

No, master. You're applying little needles and I've not yet acquired the ability to ignore you.

"That's a good thing." Tigger remarked

"oh.... go play the game."Tigger told me.... to go play.

 

[felton]

"Please forgive my slave. He has not posted for many days because of his laziness. He claims he has been working night shifts, and thus not able to observe the history in the making of the many minions of my househould or my two other slaves. I shall endevor to instill a proper work ethic, and thus keep you posted on my whereabouts and muse of the day." Master Tigger

 

[felton]

I was sitting at the computer, searching the web for something, when Master Tigger jumped to the desk. I heard him walk the window sill and stop. I glanced over and Master Tigger was slowly looking back and forth. He was looking for intruders methinks, but he didn't say.

I turned back to the screen and Master Tigger placed his front legs on my shoulder.

"What'ca doin' slave? Looking for dogs?" Tigger chortled at his joke.

That's exactly what I was looking for.

"AAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh A DOG!!!!!!!!!!" Tigger wailed

hehehehehehheheh gotcha

"Oh... I'm going to make you pay for that. Turn on the water station. I am thirsty." Tigger ordered

"NOW!" Tigger ordered again

Yes, master.

Whereupon Master Tigger applied some traction control, to make his point, and he finished climbing on my shoulder.

"Now, please." Tigger almost shouted into my right ear.

Uh.... it's difficult with you standing on my shoulder, master.

"I'm quite sure, you have the ability to walk to the water station slave. I'll just stay on the shoulder and demonstrate how my balance skills." Tigger said gleefully.

Yes, master.

I arose slowly. Having traction control applied to help balance Tigger remained on my shoulder.

I walked to the water station and met primary slave in the hall.

Wanting a drink does he? DW asked

Yes, it seems so. Want to help? You can take master off while I turn on the water.

purr purr purr purr purr purr purr

Distracted by his primary slave, I turned on the water.

Master Shadow jumped up and started drinking. Master Charlie appeared and got in line.

"Arrgghhh.... I'm tail end Charlie." Tigger complained.

"Nope. I'm Charlie. You mistake yourself again old one?" Charlie said laughingly

"Oh shut up." Tigger muttered

Master Tigger was set down, at the end of the line.

I went into the work room and checked to see if I had blood on my shirt. (I didn't)

DW came in and reclined on the workstation, and picked up a book.

------ insert a small unit of time as the universe revolves around Master Tigger--------

Ah.... I'm done drinking. Thank you slaves.....

Master Tigger stood between the two of us. Master Tigger shook his head.

Have I ever mentioned how much water Master Tigger is able to hold with the hair on his head? I believe that several gallons can be hidden, able to drown any who has incurred the displeasure of Master Tigger.

I'm drenched. DW has endured as much as I.

------ insert screams, a oath and howls of laughter --------------

Master Tigger is rolling on the workstation. He enjoys our reactions. He shares mirth and jokes with Master Charlie who has entered to view the spectacle. Master Shadow is rolling on the floor by the sliding glass door.

I hear a hiccup of mirth. Master Tigger grins

"I enjoyed that." Master Tigger tells me

I'm glad I could brighten your day, master.

"Oh... thank you again." Tigger chortled

Once again, you're welcome.

 

[felton]

Master Tigger and Master Charlie were meatloafed on the workstation. Eyes rolled up or squinting through almost closed eyelids. For all intents and purposes a pair of library lions, ignoring everybody and everything.

I was wrong.

My masters were well aware of what was going on.

DW and I were going back and forth, into and out of the bathroom, and the bedroom. Changing our clothes and getting ready to go out for a birthday dinner. Nothing special, but it did require into and come out of the rooms mention previously.

"What are those two silly slaves doing?" Master Charlie muttered to Master Tigger. "They keep changing colors and changing their odor." Master Charlie continued to mutter.

"Oh, please. Stop asking questions that I am unable to answer. They keep doing those things. I've never been able to understand what they do and why they do so. It's a mystery." Master Tigger replied.

-------------- insert one birthday dinner with number one son ----------------

"(Why does he refer to number one son, when he only has one son? or one child?)" Master Charlie ashed Master Charlie asked

"Oh stop asking stupid questions" Tigger continued to mutter

Ah... Hi Charlie. Hi Tigger. Have you two moved since we've been gone?

............silence..............

"Watch this." Master Charlie told Tigger

Master Charlie launched himself through time and space, to suddenly appear attached to my shoulder. Front paw traction control embedded into my shoulder. Rear traction gripping onto my arm. Front paws over my left shoulder. Tail swapping from left to right, experessing his glee

"Yeehaw.... I still make him jump." Charlie exclaimed loudly (and with joy)

I find it amazing how quickly a master is able to bend space and time in order to bi-location from one place to another, without being observed to transit between the two locations. Bi-location would net me a fortune if I were to duplicate this feat for the human race. Until such time, it will remain a mystery to the human race.

I was startled to have Master Charlie appear in my arms while I was headed to the other side of the workstation.

Do you wish attention, Master?

"Pet me, slave. Ignore the pain and give me attention." Charlie ordered

pet pet pet..... wratch neck pet pet pet

"Purr purr purr"

You seem to be the object of much attention. DW remarked. I also see blood on your back. Does it hurt?

"Give me attention!" Master Tigger ordered DW

Whereupon DW was distracted by the order.

 

[felton]

Number one son was sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, starting to eat dinner. Master Tigger walked across the couch, stepping on DW and my lap, intently staring at slave number two.

Stepping upon his shoulder, Master Tigger looked down at the plate containg chicken.

"Oh... slave person, I'd really really really like to have some chicken. I'm starving to death because these other two slaves are not eating." Master Tigger said plaintivily

Master Tigger had the rear end way up....

and his front end was almost laying down, looking at each bite son was taking. Eyes and head following.....

up.....

down.....

up.... and his face almost in the mouth of secondary slave.

"Oh... please??????"

I am not going to feed you master. Go away! This is my food.

"You are a cruel and sadistic slave." Tigger almost howled

And I'm eating my chicken too.

Whereupon Master Tigger walked down his front to the floor and stared up at the plate being held high above his head.

"I'm going to remember this. I'll not forget."

and Master Tigger walked away.

 

[felton]

Master Tigger accosted me when I opened the door from the garage. DW and I had been to choir practice (we belong to the Littleton Chorale) therefore, Master Tigger may not have been fed for several hours.

"Slave! I'm hungry!" Tigger told me

Uh... I have to visit the slaves room right now.

"WHAT! ? I'm STARVING" Tigger howled

DW had gone downstairs to feed the horde, therefore she was not available.

Much weeping, wailying and gnashing of teeth occured while I was in the slaves room.

When I walked into the kitchen, Master Tigger was standing there (glaring at me, I might add)

Right claws beating on the floor. Impatient posture...... almost ready to scream loud enough for the neighbors to hear and call the emergency medical personnel who will help clean up the blood. Master Tigger is not happy.

"I'm glad to see that you are here to feed me. SLAVE!" Scowled Tigger

I placed the food in his bowl and placed it on the floor. Master Tigger had his head in the bowl, pushing my hand out of the way, eating.

Master Tigger had moved around so that his back legs and tail held high were pointing at me.

Hmm could he be telling me something?

"Food.... I have food at last. I was starving." Tigger threw back over his shoulder at me.

Yes, master

"No help by you either" Tigger informed be between chrunches and grinding of food

Yes, master.

Master Tigger left a seed kibble in the bowl, and ran to the watering station. I placed the seed kibble in the jar of his food, and went to give attention and water to my master.

"Ahhhh.... life is not a little better." Tigger purred

and latter that night, around 2am, 3:30am and 4am Master Tigger told me how it was.

 

[felton]

"Pet me slave. I desire attention." Master Charlie ordered. Master Tigger climbed up to the desk of the computer and was observing what occurred.

Master Charlie jumped up to my lap. I started petting and giving attention

"I want in the baby burp position!" Charlie ordered

"This will be fun." Tigger muttered

Master Charlie was getting "Scritched" to great contentment.... (or so I thought)

Purr purr purr purr

"I want further up." Charlie ordered

whereupon Master Charlie crawled up..... he was standing with his front legs on the chair back. Rear leg was on my shoulder.....

His tail was less than an inch from my nose......

"Here... check the tail male" Charlie said, as if it were a great honor (hehhehehehe Charlie giggled)

"That's a nice position you've assumed, Charlie. I think it's nice of you to allow this slave to check the tail male. They don't get to do so very often." Tigger said...... almost rolling on the floor.

Have I been setup?

"Oh no.... we would NEVER ever set you up do something like this." hehehehehehehheh Charlie and Tigger both exclaimed!!!!!!!!

"What's going on............ lololololololololololol" Shadow rolled on the floor

What's going on in here with all our masters? DW asked.... and witheld her giggles behind a hand covering her mouth....

"I would like some more attention slave." Charlie ordered, as he applied traction control to the back leg. He also leaned against my head and curled his body around my face

The view was..... uh.......... filled with a tail that I must tell the world. A fine example of feline humor, of which I'm sure will be repeated for many years. Also a fine example of prank planning.

Master work planning. %^)

 

[felton]

DW was making the bed and just happened to cover Master Tigger with the lap quilt her sister had made for her. (It has quite a few masters on the up side..... and seems to be a master magnet when it is on the bed)

DW: Oh.... what is a lump doing under the quilt?

"When I get out from under here, I'm going to make you pay dearly." Master Tigger muttered.

Thus a moving lump was under the quilt. It moved left. It moved right.... it moved toward the head of the bed. Sometimes the lump jumped to a new location. Sometimes it moved slowly.

nonetheless it moved in a somewhat joyous fashion. (so you say silly slave. I did not enjoy my time under that darkness.... I was searching for undersirable things, so as to keep you safe)

Finally Master Tigger came out from under the cat quilt/master magnet.

"I'm going to hurt you, slave." Master Tigger muttered.....

but love of his primary slave overcame his anger.

and he looked with adoration at his slave... and purred.

and purred.

(I was not supposed to hear the aforementioned [it's a good thing you did not as I would hurt you. It was a private conversation between primary slave and master])

I was coming out of the computer room, and just happened to espy Master Tigger on the bed.

Master Tigger looked left,

Master Tigger looked right.

He did not, however, look behind himself, therefore I was a witness to a feline fun moment.

Master Tigger placed his right paw under the cat magnet and lifted to make a small crease/tunnel. With his paw under the quilt, he pounced under the quilt and he moved so quickly that all I saw was a blur.

and his tail was the only part left out for me to see.

Master Tigger jumped left

Master Tigger jumped right.

Pounce....

pounce....

his tail disappeared.

another pounce and his tail reappeared. A partial view of his left leg.

Jump....

and he reappeared on the top side of the quilt. I must have blinked because he bi-located to the top, near the pillow end of the cat magnet.

Master Tigger was in the library lion position. Eyes closed. He was not breathing fast. Not a single movement.

"I am about to go to work, slave. Do not disturb me." Tigger ordered me

Yes, master. Shall I smoothe out the quilt?

"I can tolerate the bumps that someone left in the quilt. Go. Let me work in peace."

Yes, master.

 

[felton]

Master Tigger was standing on my chest, looking down at my face.

"I believe it is time for you to get up. Yoou've been working a total of 4 hours. That's a very long time." Tigger siad loftily

uh... I need more sleep for a 12 hour night shift.

"You've had plenty. Now get up and feed me. All the other slaves are gone." Tigger ordered.

uh...mrrmmmpppgffff as I rolled over to go back to sleep.

Master Tigger walked over my rolling over and stood on my side. This time his traction control was in evidence, to make a point.

"I think you really need to get up. Feed me and turn on the water." Tigger almost shouted

Yes master. Food first?

"Did I not mention food as being first? Water second! " Tigger said in a somewhat insulting tone, he reserved for special master slave moments where the slave was being reluctant in doing what he wanted.

I got out of bed, turned off my cpap machine, disconnected from all the hoses and went to feed Tigger.

I stumbled into the kitchen and saw that his bowl was 2/3rd full.

You have food, master.

"It is my intention to have fresh food. Fresh water to be followed by a major wratch and sctritch." Tigger informed me

Yes master.

I exchanged master Tiggers food. I exchanged the fresh water in his bowl.

Master Tigger ate all of 3 kibbles and quit. He turned up his nose at the bowl of water.

Master Tigger walked over to me, looked up and told me he was dying of thirst, that he wished to be picked up and taken to the watering station.

I did

I plaved Master on the waterstation surface and turned on the water.

"My attention first. Slave" Tigger ordered

and I scratched, scritched, wratched and pet till purrs were forthcoming.

You may go now slave. The water is cold. I will drink.

When I walked out of the watering station room, I heard many complaints from the downstairs door.

I went to the door and opened it. Masters Shadow and Charlie vanished..... most certaintly a bi-location was in the works.

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Tigger's here first! We'll die of thirst. I'm parched and will waste away to dust......" Shadow complained.

Master Charlie started to bath himself

 

[felton]

T'gor the hunchcat stalked out of the computer room, where he had just been refueled with fluids (he has to receive 100 cc of subcutioneuous fluids for his kidney disease relief because he cannot drink enough fluids to keep himself alive)

"I am going to hurt you slave. I've been left to fend for myself all day. You've not been here to give me attention, food and that which I deserve! You were gone! AND YOU WERE WITH OTHER MASTERS!"

yes, master. we were gone.

------------- insert several hours ----------------

Master Tigger wsa sitting behind Master Charlie.....

"I'm going to rip off your head and use it to amuse the dog across the street." Master Tigger told Master Charlie.

and he was in the process of taking Master Charlie by the back of his neck.

I picked him up, thereby preventing the display of Alpha and wannabe alpha.

["Thank you slave." Master Charlie thought]

I gave Master Tigger much attention.....

purr purr purr purr.....

DW was sitting with a quilt across her legs. The quilt came to mid thigh. Master Tigger was a library lion across her ankles. Master Charlie was on her lap.

"I wish to be in the dark!" Master Charlie announced to all

and he burrowed under the quilt. Tail high.... the back half was almost to the ceiling

"Ah.... darkness. I am pleased." Master Charlie said to one and all

Master Charlie was bumping against Master Tigger (underneath Master Tigger and the quilt)

"Stop!" Master Tigger ordered

and Master Charlie stopped. Half covered by the quilt. In the darkness he desired

While we watched "The Sorcerer's Apprentice" Master Charle remained under the quilt.

Master Tigger stood up Stretched, yawned and fwapped his tail back and forth

"I will go to work now." Master Charlie muttered, under the quilt

and Master Tigger sauntered away

 

[felton]

I enter the master bedroom in answer to the summons from DW to assist in making the bed. We must hurry so as to NOT receive the assistance from our masters.

["LOL... as if they think we can't tell when our workstation is being cleaned for our working pleasure."] Master Tigger chortled.....

The fitted sheet has been emplaced.

There has been no help from a master. None are in the room.

The top sheet has been placed......but not yet tucked or moved...

"I am here to help," Master Charlie announced, as he appeared (as if by magic)

Oh.. thank you master. We really need your help.

"I thought as much."

and Master Shadow jumped on the end of the bed.

"That is WORKSTATION, silly slave." Master Charlie and Shadow both chided me.

Yes, msater.

DW picked up Master Charlie and placed him by the door.

I picked up Master Shadow.

Have you ever seen all the bones of a master suddenly disappear? Instant jelly.
Instant jello..... instant difficulty for a slave to handle and place a master anywhere but to keep him/her in your arms for fear of hurting him by turning his body in some position that would harm a normal human. "That's SLAVE, not human!" Masters Tigger, Shadow and Charlie all exclaimed.

Yes, master.

DW and I were not having much success in making the workstation because masters were in abundance. Helping.....

"This area is in need of being smoothed out. Look at all those footprints." Shadow told me.

"This area has some sort of animal under that quilt. I'll remove the nusance for you." Charlie exclaimed.

"I'll supervise from this end of the workstation." Master Tigger purred at his primary slave.

pounce.... "I seem to have been mistaken about the animal." Charlie called out from underneath the quilt.

"Let me examine the pillows." Tigger told me

"Hey.... DON'T COVER ME WITH THAT BLANKET!" Shadow yowled from underneath the comforter where he had been freshly hidden from view.

"You're a moving lump!" Tigger told Shadow

"Oh... go play with that dog next door!" Shadow said grumpily

whereupon he slapped Charlie with a paw and disappeared from view.

"I'll rip out your neck hair!" a Charlie voice was heard but not seen as he disappeared.

"I think I'm going to go curl up in the sunshine next to the Kitty TV." Master Tigger told us as he sauntered away.

I think he's going to watch a little fighting I told DW

"I heard that." Tigger told us from the hall.

"We're NOT fighting. We're watching the Kitty TV." Masters Charlie and Shadow yelled back at the workstation room.

and we finished making the bed, having thought we were not going to get any kind of assistance.

"Silly slaves...."

 

[pushylady]

Yeah, good luck making a bed without "assistance"

I love the phrase "traction control".

 

[felton]

I must apologize to one and all who have been wondering how my masters are. I seem to have forgotten how to write or how to convey to anyone how my masters have been this last month. They are all in fine fettle, and still have many adventures that I should be able to relate to one and all. I must confess that I did have other matters that did weigh upon me; i.e. Christmas and the preperations therein as I do sing in a couple of choirs. Therefore I throw myself o the mercy of the court and I shall attempt to relate to all what I have been directed by my masters to relate.

 

[felton]

We came home, after a vist to a friends house, to find the jar of food that we keep handy for Master Tigger on the kitchen floor. The lid was off, and Master Charlie we nowhere to be found.

Did I mention that quite a bit of his food was gone.

"I could have told you that was going to happen." Master Tigger told us, while looking down his nose.

Uh.. huh

"He flipped the jar down. He took the lid off and ate his fill." Tigger chortled

We can see that master.

"Why didn't you see it before it happened?" Tigger asked

Uhm...

"Oh never mind. You'll just hem and hah..like you're doing now."

"You missed a kibble that's over there...."

Where?

"Over there."

Where?

"Oh.... I'll go eat it for you."

and Master Tigger went to the stove and pulled the kibble out from under the stove.

He made us feel like the slave we were.

 

[felton]

When we watch TV, either in the family room or in the bedroom, we have a chance to sit with our legs outstretched; on the bed or lounger. DW happens to be a master magnet, due to her animal magnetism or that she will not move for a long time. Heat providing slave and a place to curl up and work. I will also be used as a workstation, depending on the mood of the master who uses my lap/legs. Master Tigger will always chose DW as she is his primary slave.

Thus I returned from work, to find DW being held prisioner by both marmalade masters. Tigger stretched out on her shins..... tail straight out, chin on knees. Working hard

Master Charlie was curled up (we think he has some method, known only to masters, whereupon this spine is phased into another demension. This allows such tight curls of master or positions that are physically impossible for us to believe possible to do ourselves)

Head on forelegs that are stretched out straight. Rear leg extended past his head and pointing out toward 11 O'clock. It looked to be extended at least 2 feet past his head.

How does he do that? I asked

DW and I discussed the possibilites that normal physics of masters is not within our grasp.

I noticed that a smile had appeared on Master Tiggers face.

DW noticed a smile had appeared on Master Charlies face.


Methinks they were listening to our conversation, but chose not to enlighten.

The mysteries of masters.

 

[felton]

I was searching through the closet, hoping that closet monster had not hidden that which I was searching, and found a hat that looked like a moose head. It was a Christmas gift of the funny nature from my mother in law. Our family has great fun with Christmas since we do not give gifts during the rest of the year.

I place the moose hat upon my head and turned to show DW. DW was, is and shall be a master magnet. If DW is sitting or reclining or even sleeping, a master WILL be in attendence. Now was not exception.

I walked to the end of the bed. Three sets of eyes followed me. I moved left. Heads and eyes moved left. I moved right. Three sets of head and eyes moved right. I crouched down. Three sets of eyes moved down. I stood up. Head/eyes came up.

"THAT may decided to attack, so be prepared." Master Tigger muttered to his minions.

"Yeah... it's gonna get hurt bad if it does." Master Charlie said.

"I'll get prepared to leap on it's neck and take out the jugular." Master Fluff, otherwise known and Shadow Ram, said over his shoulder. (he was closest to me)

Hey.. I'm not going to attack I told my masters.

"Yeah... what's that that has taken over the top of your shoulders? Did it hurt?" Tigger asked

"I'm still prepared to kill it." Charlie said

I think I'm going to back out of here and therefore not distress you further. I went to get some Wheat Thins. DW had asked when I went to remove the menace from my head.

I returned to the workstation and much attention was now given to DW.

"I am famished, so feed me some of that delightful food." Master Tigger said as his nose was within a milimeter of DW's lips.

Are you trying to take the food from my mouth? DW asked her primary master.

"Yes.... now GIMMIE THAT FOOD!" Tigger demanded.

Master Charlie was on hre right..... purring and head bonking to butter DW up

Master Shadow Ram was on her left.... purring and batting at the bag to knock some wheat thins out so he could ponce and get some for himself. He was also begging.

I will NOT give you any till I have had what I want. Go away..... DW told three masters who seemed to be unable to hear anything at the moment, so intent they were to the crunch of wheat thins.

Did I mention that our masters LOVE wheat thins? They will bi-locate with miliseconds of hearing that crunch and wrinkle of bags that are particular to that type of foodstuff.

ZOOMMMMM they will appear when the chrunch/wrinkle resounds off the walls from anywhere in the house.

"FEED ME" All three demanded.

I reached into the bag and withdrew my hand quickly.... knowing my hand would be stopped by claws and paws that would reward the master with thins

When I had eaten all but one thin... I broke it into pieces that masters loved

and I was given attention and demands to which I succumbed. Two little pieces each.

and I didn't draw back a stump. They were nice to me today.