Tumor / SCC: Defying the Odds with Hospice Care - Living with a Terminally Ill Loved One, I share w

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Did you ever find out what was in that syringe that made him loopy?  You do need to ask any time there's some doubt about the medication.  Mistakes happen to the best of us, and if there's been a mistake with medicines the vet needs to know about it.

The way you ask without being accusatory is to say "I think there may have been a mistake.  This doesn't seem to be the same medicine Simon got before, and the intended dosage seems different."  Notice that you're simply acknowledging that a mistake could have happened, not saying something like "Are you trying to kill my cat, giving him the wrong medicine?!"  A good vet will not object to being asked when the client notices something wrong.  Doctors also know that mistakes happen, and they're grateful when someone catches the mistake before it does major damage.

Margret

I'm going in the morning.  And I'll approach it as you suggested.  I've said before, I'm not excitable, and am very professional, but this is personal and I fear I'd get irritated and short with the staff. 

The vet and I are still establishing a relationship and I do like them so far.

But you're right, there were different people in the office this past week and it needs to be addresses.

Thank you for giving me a script, so I don't veer off course.

Thank's again.  Greatly appreciated.

 

[Margret]

You're welcome.

My mother was a physical therapist, and she taught me to always question doctors.  Only one doctor has ever been upset about this, and he was a rotten doctor.  He actually told me a lie to cover up his mistake in judgment, and, unfortunately, I fell for it.  His mistake did major damage to my husband before another doctor caught it.

I'm in my sixties now, and have had plenty of time to make mistakes.  The good thing about mistakes is that you learn from them.  The better thing is that other people can learn from your mistakes instead of having to make their own.

Margret

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
You're welcome.

My mother was a physical therapist, and she taught me to always question doctors.  Only one doctor has ever been upset about this, and he was a rotten doctor.  He actually told me a lie to cover up his mistake in judgment, and, unfortunately, I fell for it.  His mistake did major damage to my husband before another doctor caught it.

I'm in my sixties now, and have had plenty of time to make mistakes.  The good thing about mistakes is that you learn from them.  The better thing is that other people can learn from your mistakes instead of having to make their own.

Margret

@Margret  

The good thing about mistakes is that you learn from them.  The better thing is that other people can learn from your  mistakes instead of having to make their own.

So true.  

And yes, I too question anything medically related, and have no problems doing so.  I think since I'm Simon's voice, I'm taking this extra personal.  And it's emotional as well, so that makes it harder.  

Thanks again, truly.

 

[Margret]

 
@Margret  

The good thing about mistakes is that you learn from them.  The better thing is that other people can learn from your  mistakes instead of having to make their own.

So true.  

And yes, I too question anything medically related, and have no problems doing so.  I think since I'm Simon's voice, I'm taking this extra personal.  And it's emotional as well, so that makes it harder.  

Thanks again, truly.

The key really is having a script.  You know in advance what you're going to say, and then you can stay calm while you say it.  When writing your own script, the key is to use emotionally neutral language while including the important points; you stick to facts, not feelings.

Of course you're taking it personally.  Simon is family, and he's dying; you couldn't not take it personally.  But the thing that throws us off when we're talking with doctors is that they're authority figures, so we feel like we have to defer to them.  It tends to make us go all panicky, and that effect is multiplied when a loved one is in danger.  A good doctor also understands this, and a good vet knows that our pets are family.

You don't owe Simon's vet or your doctor deference.  You owe them courtesy and honesty.

And, of course, being capable of learning from the mistakes of others, while it means that you're intelligent and it smooths the road somewhat, is no guarantee at all that you won't come up with novel mistakes of your own.  We all do. 

Margret

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
The key really is having a script.  You know in advance what you're going to say, and then you can stay calm while you say it.  When writing your own script, the key is to use emotionally neutral language while including the important points; you stick to facts, not feelings.

Of course you're taking it personally.  Simon is family, and he's dying; you couldn't not take it personally.  But the thing that throws us off when we're talking with doctors is that they're authority figures, so we feel like we have to defer to them.  It tends to make us go all panicky, and that effect is multiplied when a loved one is in danger.  A good doctor also understands this, and a good vet knows that our pets are family.

You don't owe Simon's vet or your doctor deference.  You owe them courtesy and honesty.

And, of course, being capable of learning from the mistakes of others, while it means that you're intelligent and it smooths the road somewhat, is no guarantee at all that you won't come up with novel mistakes of your own.  We all do. 

Margret

Again, I agree...

For me, I have no issues dealing with doctors, I deal with them on a regular basis personally and professionally, and have been dealing with the my whole life, I'm not intimidated in anyway.  

Insurance companies and doctors I have no problems discussing matters until I'm blue in the face.

But vets are different.  After my last vet, back in January making me and hubby feel like garbage when we took Chestnut in for her crystals, did a number on my psyche.

I suppose this is part of building a relationship with this vet.  They are very kind so I don't think it well be an unpleasant experience.

Thanks again @Margret

 

[edwardthefirst]

@2Cats4everLoved  thanks for your lovely Simon updates - is he still getting to spend 'special' time with his sock?

Sending best wishes to you both - I shall say as you said to me a few weeks ago, are you taking care of yourself too?

Sometimes something as simple as a walk in the park and a cup of tea with a friend can totally alter your perspective for the better.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
@2Cats4everLoved  thanks for your lovely Simon updates - is he still getting to spend 'special' time with his sock?

Sending best wishes to you both - I shall say as you said to me a few weeks ago, are you taking care of yourself too?

Sometimes something as simple as a walk in the park and a cup of tea with a friend can totally alter your perspective for the better.

@Edwardthefirst

No, Simon stopped "dating" his girlfriend just this past week.  He's walked past "her" a few times interested, but the pain med's this week effected him differently, he's been "stoned" "loopy", so he's had little strength to entertain her, LOL  

I'm going to the vet soon to pick up new med's hopefully this new batch will have a more positive reaction.  It's hard taking your own advice, but I did do some things for myself this week, if for nothing else, for the sake of Simon not having me hover over him.  I worked on my cabinets, painting and purging...  Spring cleaning.  Felt good.

This week spent with Simon was fun, and a little sad.  I can't explain it.

Thank you so much for asking.  

How's Edward???  I need to jump on your thread and get the updates, I hope all is well.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Simon's Diary:  "Our Bittersweet Journey...the long goodbye"

Saturday April 30th, 2016

Simon and I got hardly any sleep last night.  I slept with my head at his paw and we just stared at each other for most of the night.  It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning when we both fell to sleep.  

below, Simon before we fell asleep.  

7e0a9c0a-f8a3-47c8-a386-ab8a59c57bd9_zpsojpgrscg.J

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Apr 30, 2016

below, early morn, with my baby...

me and simon.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Apr 30, 2016

When we emerged, Simon drank a good amount of water from the faucet. I really thought he wasn't going to get up at all considering he didn't eat much at all yesterday.  But after a nice massage and doing stretching exercises, I picked him up and put him in the living room window where he became fixated on birds hanging on the fire escape.

IMG_4192.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Apr 30, 2016

above, Simon on a mission...

I spoke to the vet about Simon being so "loopy" and his reaction to the drugs.  They checked the vile it came from and it's not a different brand or different med.  They were very kind and told me he could be going through another  stage.  I gave 1 dose of the med's to Simon at 1:30 p.m.  Soon after he kept walking around the kitchen, hanging out in front of the refrigerator, then looking inside as I held the door, all good signs.  He was interested in eating, thank goodness.  

I attempted to feed him the Royal Canin Recovery, blended smooth, but he turned away when I placed syringe to his tongue, he ended up only eating 3 tbl spoons of food at this point, and went back to drink more water.

One good thing is he's not running away after trying to eat or hiding either, he's still showing interest and comes around to be fed, so after he attempted to eat, he hung out and groomed himself, then drank milk from his bowl.  So he can still swallow.  Oh yeah, he's back to licking cheese until gone...

I'll be honest, my heart sank.  I have to remember - One Day At A Time!!!  I told my husband, we really need to enjoy him this weekend, if he lives to see another, fingers crossed, it would be a miracle.

He continued to hang out with us.  I snapped a rubber band and he started to play.  But I think the drugs were kicking in and he was a little disoriented.  In the past if I said, "Set up Simon!" he run's to the chair leg to squat down in a pouncing stance to get ready to fetch, but this time he wasn't really sure what to do, but knew something was going to happen.  

I wonder if the cancer is effecting his brain?  Slight memory loss.  I'm not sure.

My hubby went to do some errands, so we'll play more when he gets back.  

I fed him another 2, 3ml syringes and put him on the bed to rest.  I'll let his medicine work.  I'm wondering too if receiving the Clindamycin two days in a row may have irritated his throat.  From what I've read, it's very hard on the vocal chords and can burn.  I won't be torturing him with that anymore.  

His breathing is normal, not heavy or shallow.

I"m not in denial.  I know our days are numbered.  I found Simon June 2nd, 2003, I was told he was about 2 weeks old, so we celebrate his birthday May 18th, which happens to be my dear friends birthday, I'm really hoping he lives to be a 13.....

Simon's Journey continues.

 

[nerdgirl5]

Good luck. My heart goes out to you. 

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

I just wanted to say, while I've been preparing for the end since February.  I suppose I'll never be ready.  

And I really feel in my heart, even though Simon is uncomfortable, the med's are working and he's not in pain.  He's still playful with hubby and I.  He's not hiding or trying to get away.  I'll admit, I don't care for him being "loopy" and hope there's a moment of clarity before he goes.

I have made arrangements for when it's time for him to leave.

I also found a crematory nearby, where you can watch your loved one be cremated, then they give you a beautiful cherry wood box with their name on it, along with an impression of his paw prints.  I'm not sure if this price is good but they said, $350.  It's important for me to "actually" get Simon's remains.

When he was in the animal hospital for 11 days, we'd visit and spend hours with him.  I saw how they would tag the bags and stack them in the basement until the truck would come and pick up all the bodies. I was horrified.

I need to see my baby...  but, until then...  He's still seems content with life as always, being around us enjoying our company.  

I would never keep him alive for us...  I'm not selfish, I can promise you.

It's important for me that you wonderful "Members" know that.

 

[nerdgirl5]

I worry every day about how I will *know* when it's the right time to put Lamont down.  He's still eating/drinking and alert.  Doesn't appear to be in pain.  Sleeps more than he did last year but he's 15 1/2 years old.  He's not eating as much as he used to, but I believe part of that has to do with him sleeping more. When I hand feed him, he'll eat about 1/4 of a bowl. If he gets really hungry (usually 6am breakfast) he'll eat about 1/4 to 1/2 a bowl of food. I purposely give him more calories, hoping he's getting enough. He's not super skinny.  And yes, his tumor is pretty big. He's not on any pain meds (doesn't seem like he's in pain or needs them yet.) He still jumps on the bed to hang out, which is a good sign. 

I'm going to wait til he completely stops eating and starts hiding. I'm starting to toy with NOT hand feeding him (my cousin told me he's just getting used to that type of pampering so if you stop he will start eating on his own.) I fear that's the only way I'll know for sure if he's eating or not.  

I understand your decision about wanted to be there when they cremate Simon. I'm not doing that for Lamont. He will be cremated, but I will let the vet handle it.  I'm ok with that.

I think all of this is very personal.  

Again, my heart goes out to you. This is VERY VERY hard to go through.

 

[red top rescue]

None of us who have been following this journey of care would ever think you were selfish or keeping Simon alive for yourself.  You are giving him all the time he can enjoy, and you are actualy aware of his changes from day to day.  You are taking it one day at a time, loving him completely one day at a time, and that takes courage.  We all know you will help him along his journey when it is time, and anyone who has been through something like this knows that you will know it's time when you do, and not before.  Trust that you will know.  I know that you will know because he will tell you, and you will get it.

 

[nerdgirl5]

Couldn't said that better.  Agree. 

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

@Red Top Rescue

I just wanted to be clear to the readers.  I know his face is changing, eye, mouth...  But, I figure if he's still able to live with these changes, and be happy, why not let him live.

He does need to eat.  And we will know within the next day, what he's planning to do...

I know we're in the final stages of this journey, and I'm going to enjoy him and love him, like you said, until he lets us know...

@nerdgirl5

I'm glad Lamont has weight on his body and is enjoying  himself.  Since the cancer is in Simon's mouth we had no choice but to syringe feed him, and I'm glad he lets us.

As for the crematory, it is all personal choice.  After getting the costs from the vet, it was actually 50 dollars less, and you don't see them, don't get the urn or paw prints. So it just seems right for us.

I hope you have many more memories to share with Lamont.  

thanks again all...

 

[nerdgirl5]

Thank you.  You too (with Simon!)

 

[sherit]

Thank you for telling us...that you would not be selfish concerning Simon

and for  sharing your story with us...

about Simon..

I   hope we can offer the support you need ...we are trying..

with love to you , Simon and your husband and other pet.

Sheri , Bro and Lily

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 

[stewball]

I swear by royal canin recovery. You're the only other person I know who's vet has given it and you're in America and I'm in Israel.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Sorry about that.
I swear by royal canin recovery. You're the only other person I know who's vet has given it and you're in America and I'm in Israel.

I actually got it from my pet store, and it was my pet store owner who suggested it.  It's great.  I highly recommend it.

My old vet stopped selling food, and the new one only sells Science Diet.

The Royal Canin Recovery has worked wonders.  I just hope he gets his appetite...

 

[stewball]

I actually got it from my pet store, and it was my pet store owner who suggested it.  It's great.  I highly recommend it.

My old vet stopped selling food, and the new one only sells Science Diet.

The Royal Canin Recovery has worked wonders.  I just hope he gets his appetite...

I was hand feeding him. Not syringe. He was 19 and not eating or drinking. I used the small squares boxes you judge how much he ate. Apparently he should have eaten at least 4 a day. I got wild if I got half a tin down him. Stubborn boy. I'd had him since he was a little 3 month old ball of fur. Such a naughty boy he was