Tumor / SCC: Defying the Odds with Hospice Care - Living with a Terminally Ill Loved One, I share w

[margd]

I'm in awe of the tremendous job you're doing with Simon.  This journal is a very good thing you're doing -  for you and for anyone who reads it.    I wish I had kept a similar journal when my Milo had squamous cell carcinoma in his upper gum because I would have been much more in tune with everything going on with him.  Perhaps I could have helped him more, the way you are doing with Simon.  Milo also had trouble eating.  Your description of Simon trying so hard to eat the cheese really brought back memories to me because Milo also wanted to eat but couldn't.  In the end, I was blending his food and using the syringe to feed him,  but he would still insist that I put a bowl down for him, just so he could try to eat.  I see that in your descriptions of Simon, too - the desire to stick to his routine.

Simon is such a sweetheart.  I'm with LotsofFur - I've totally fallen in love with him.  The videos of him drinking and grooming himself really touched my heart.   He is a very brave boy and I just want to reach through the screen and give him a big kiss.  

Thank you for posting this and letting us share your journey.  

Kisses to Simon.  

   And ((((hugs)))) to you.  

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
I'm in awe of the tremendous job you're doing with Simon.  This journal is a very good thing you're doing -  for you and for anyone who reads it.    I wish I had kept a similar journal when my Milo had squamous cell carcinoma in his upper gum because I would have been much more in tune with everything going on with him.  Perhaps I could have helped him more, the way you are doing with Simon.  Milo also had trouble eating.  Your description of Simon trying so hard to eat the cheese really brought back memories to me because Milo also wanted to eat but couldn't.  In the end, I was blending his food and using the syringe to feed him,  but he would still insist that I put a bowl down for him, just so he could try to eat.  I see that in your descriptions of Simon, too - the desire to stick to his routine.

Simon is such a sweetheart.  I'm with LotsofFur - I've totally fallen in love with him.  The videos of him drinking and grooming himself really touched my heart.   He is a very brave boy and I just want to reach through the screen and give him a big kiss.  

Thank you for posting this and letting us share your journey.  

Kisses to Simon.  

   And ((((hugs)))) to you.  

Thank you Margd,  it's all the kind words of encouragement that are giving me strength to continue and not lose faith.

I too put Simon's food out in his bowl.  When I drop the crunchies he hear's the "tinkle' of food hitting the ceramic and noticed it triggers his senses and he starts drooling to eat.  He still insists of standing in front of the fridge waiting for his lettuce and/or cheese, as long as he shows interest in eating, we'll be in good shape.

Thanks again.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 

[Margret]

At this point I started questioning if what I was doing was the right thing.  Was I doing this for me or him.  Was this really quality of life?  But then he starts to play, he's having fun and doesn't mind the meds or occasional syringes, so I guess all is good.

I never had to make this decision in my life, our dogs and cats growing up all died naturally in their sleep inside the house.  So this is new territory for me.

I have that guilt now thinking about all the signs he was giving us and we missed.

Unusual mischief - extra affectionate - the  excess drooling - throwing up - constipation - tossing his dry food out of his dish.  I'll think of more signs as I keep writing.  

I never thought cancer would be an issue, I was naive about how common this cancer actually is.  I'm dumbfounded by it all.  One thing the vet asked is if there were smokers in the home.  My husband smokes but outside and he washes his hands after.  I grew up late 60's/70's/80's my dad smoked as did every other parent on the block and none of our dogs or cats got cancer, they were all indoor/outdoor animals.  Worst case was hit by car, opossums or the 2 St. Bernard's up the block who'd terrorize the neighborhood.  They all ate the supermarket food none of this high end stuff.  So whats causing this, they have more informed vets, prescription meds,  high quality organic food etc but these cats seem to be getting seriously sicker by the minute.

If anyone out there knows what causes this, Please let me know.  I did find Simon outside my uncles house, and his cat who was a neighborhood stray, got cancer, a huge tumor on his side outside of the body.  Very sad.  Perhaps it was in Simon's bloodline.  Don't know.

So February ended as happy as could be.  I started to get excited, but read up on animals and their last days- it said they sometimes eat really well, get energy etc, before they take a turn for the worst.  Like my vet said, he'll let us know when.

to be con't.

In humans, one reason for the rise in cancer is simply that people are living longer.  There may well be something else in the environment that's causing it that we don't know about yet.

I know that these feelings of guilt are natural, but they aren't fact based.  If you had noticed it sooner, the only thing that would have changed is that you, and Simon, would have enjoyed Christmas less.  Sometimes we embrace guilt as a protection against that helpless feeling that we get when something horrible happens and there's nothing we can do about it.  This is one of the reasons rape victims tend to blame themselves.

Pretzel had a cancer of the sebacious (ear wax) gland.  Multiple surgeries, total removal of that ear, and it kept coming back.  The decision was between chemotherapy, which might not work and would put her through hell (as well as totally depleting our budget), and letting her have as long as she could enjoy before finally euthanizing her.  We decided against chemo.  We got her a good pain medication, a good mobile vet, and it was obvious when the pain med stopped working for her.  At that point we called the vet, and when she came we sat with Pretzel on both our laps, petting her, talking about what a good cat she was and how much we loved her, and when she felt relaxed and loved we nodded at the vet, who came over and gave her the shot.  It was the most peaceful passing we could devise for her.

It must be very difficult having two cats who are in so much trouble.  I grieve for your imminent losses. 

Margret

 

[kittens mom]

Nothing makes this easy. Hospice used to be common. We think of the word and associate it with something modern. For most of mankind's history and in many places life and death begins and ends at home.  It takes great courage to do what you are for Simon. Thank you for sharing.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Nothing makes this easy. Hospice used to be common. We think of the word and associate it with something modern. For most of mankind's history and in many places life and death begins and ends at home.  It takes great courage to do what you are for Simon. Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for the kind words Kittens Mom.  I personally never liked the word Hospice and after taking care of many family members it's just a made up word to say, keep comfortable near death. Honestly if I had to trek to the city everyday, I wouldn't be able to do this.  I'm glad the universe is on my side and my work allows.  

The vet gave me 5 days at the most, and except for maybe 3 questionable confusing days, we've had lot's of fun as usual.  Thanks you for taking an interest.  Warm Regards.

 

[red top rescue]

If it makes you feel any better, a friend of mine went through this last spring with her Manx she had raised from a baby.  I think he was 14, and her other two cats are each 18, and she never expected this one to be sick.  He went in for normal dentistry and the vet found the tumor, thought it was a cyst at first, biopsied it, and the vet was surprised it was SCC.  She was referred to a specialist and she went there and they did a cat scan (no pun intended, but some kind of whole body scan) and he had some nodules in his chest and abdomen.  The vet said operating on the mouth lesion would just cause the cat pain and since it had spread, it was just a matter of time.  She did chemo too, and at first it made the mouth tumor stop bleeding (which it had done since the biopsy), but we will never know if it slowed down his disease from what it would have been.  He lasted a couple of months, that's all.  He stayed in good spirits through it all, he had to have his whole ruff and chest and face washed every day (he was a longhair manx) to get the food off him because he couldn't wash himself.  In the last few days he stopped being willing to eat, and at some point she knew it was time, he was obviously very tired and just wanted to rest.  She had a lovely vet and he set her and the cat up in a room with a chair and soft lighting and she spent most of the afternoon there with the cat and didn't let him go until it was closing time.  So don't think it would have turned out any better if you had caught it sooner, because this type of cancer is pretty fast moving and nothing seems to stop it.  My fellow rescuers here and I do hospice care quite a bit, actually.  We are lucky that we can help them pass peacefully when it IS time if they don't slip off on their own.

Another friend went through it with her beloved dog.  The vet gave him about a month, but he lasted nearly six months, and that turned out to be a blessing.  Shortly after her dog went, a dear friend of hers also went, from cancer, and she took on her friend's dog (both dogs were Salukis) so now her friend has her dog in Heaven and she has her friend's dog here on Earth.  What could be better?

 

[stewball]

I congratulate you. I could never do what you are doing. It's amazing how you know what to do and he lets you. You have a really special relationship with him.

 

[margd]

How is Simon today?  Sending vibes that he's doing well. 

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Simon's Diary:  "Our Bittersweet Journey...the long goodbye"

Tuesday, March 22st thru Saturday, March 26th - Last week was tricky, full of ups & downs.  An emotional  ride for sure, BUT well worth the effort.

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• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

 Simon lying under HIS dining room chair.  Once again, claiming his territory from his sister Chestnut

Tuesday the 22st  was a good day for Simon.  After he figured out how to drink on his own from the tub over the weekend his progress made a world of difference to his disposition, he got his confidence back. Except for having to syringe feed him and delicate play, he was the same Mr. Kitty we always knew.

I called my vet to give him an update of Simon's health and to talk to him about me giving Simon the baby aspirin.  He was surprised to hear Simon was still a live and well enough to play and told me the dose of baby aspirin I administered throughout the day would cause no additional harm at this point in his life.  Thank God. I was so upset thinking I made things worse. I had done the research and knew Tylenol & Ibuprofen are poison-an absolute NO, but I have heard of baby aspirin being used and was told by a friend who used it on her cat once upon a time. 

WITH THAT SAID.  DO NOT ADMINISTER DRUGS OF ANY KIND TO YOUR PET WITHOUT CONSENT FROM YOUR VET (I didn't expect Simon to live to see the weekend and was desperate not to see him suffer).     The Vet told me when ready come in and pick up Buprenex.

***Member - Red Top Rescue gave me this link for those who haven't seen it, well worth the read -   http://vetmedicine.about.com/od/veterinaryqa/a/cats-aspirin.htm

Wednesday the 23rd was much of the same, playing, drinking, etc, but I realized when I fed him, his jaw shifted again slightly to the left and his tongue was lopsided hanging out of the right side more than before.  He growled when he started to eat - then we found a rhythm and all went well.  I wished he ate more but he never did eat much in one sitting, he has always been a pick throughout the day kind of kitty.  My heart sank when he growled, I knew this was a sign of sure pain. At this point, I became overwhelmed.  I had the feeding station down to a science, Simon was engaged, playing, seemed happy, sleeping a little more, which I expected, but yet I felt hopeless and wished he could speak to me. I laid next to him on the bed, and started to cry, as I was telling him how much we love him, how much he's meant to us, how much fun he's made our lives, he stretched out his paw and put it over my mouth and looked at me as if to say, I know mommy, I love you too, but I need to sleep and so do you, then he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep and so did I. Much needed sleep.

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• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

         

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• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

 I took these when I woke up from nap.

Later that night a good friend told me:  When it becomes a burden for you and your life, it is time.  You have given him the best life and his ups and down bring you up and down.  You will know when.  The decision is the worst part.  

I noticed while Simon slept, I could see his right bottom canine was digging into the middle of the roof of his mouth which made an indent. Pain meds were needed.

Thursday, March 24th, I picked up the Buprenex  from the vet, $4.00 per syringe. Simon accepted it no problem at all, it was so easy to administer. For the most part he slept all day, woke up to drink and when right back to sleep.  I didn't force him to eat, I figured he'd let me know.  I took advantage of this time to take care of myself, catch up on cleaning and give some loving to Chestnut.  By days end Simon only ate 12ml of Gerber Peas and 9 ml baby food.

 

simon bag.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

Friday, March 25th, When I woke up, I couldn't find Simon anywhere, I checked all his hiding spots. Keep in mind my apt. is the size of a shoe box, so I started to panic. The little buggarhead was sitting on the table in a gym bag watching me look for him. LOL, I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.  You always hear cats hide or "go away" when it's their time, I took a few Advil and had to calm myself, if it wasn't 7am, I would have poured a stiff drink. LOL.  The Buprenex worked wonders, he was playful, hungry and much to my surprise, full of life.

Saturday, March 26th, Simon was the same as yesterday, he still growled when he ate but very little, he tried to eat the little tents of bacon, but had a hard time so I blended it in his food. He enjoyed eating, but didn't eat very much at all.  Once again I had to rethink my strategy.  I started Keeping a new log of food/water and behavior.

.

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• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

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• 2Cats4everLoved
• Mar 29, 2016

  So this past Saturday ended well, sun was shining, birds chirping, kitties happy...

Taking care of your furry wee one certainly isn't easy or hard for that matter.  This has been rewarding, especially when he starts playing and shows his gratitude.  I'm not a young woman and have my own "changes" I'm going through, but what I'm learning through this journey is, I still have a great deal of patience, which is something I didn't think I had much of as of late.

Simon's journey continues...

 

[donutte]

What a sweet boy. Omg, I hate when they hide in plain sight! Sara was doing that that one really bad Saturday. I'm looking all over for her and there she was, hanging out in the cat bed.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

What a sweet boy. Omg, I hate when they hide in plain sight! Sara was doing that that one really bad Saturday. I'm looking all over for her and there she was, hanging out in the cat bed.

It's nerve-racking to say the least.  I had to laugh though, being that he was acting like his playful self.  He just looked like, What did I do. LOL

 

[kittens mom]

Just so you know. I follow this thread.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

If I knew then, what I know now:  If Simon was diagnosed earlier, I don't think we would have gone through radiation or chemo if that were even an option, more often than not, it doesn't prolong life any further as if no treatment is used, and in some cases could end life sooner.  As I've said earlier, leaving the apt. alone would have put him under more stress than the disease itself, plus he has a murmur.  

HOWEVER, watching him experience the progressive stages of this oral cancer, I would have considered removing his 2 bottom canine teeth.  This would have definitely relieve the pain of the bottom left canine rubbing up on the outside of his upper lip as well as the bottom right canine poking him in the roof of his mouth.  His pain wouldn't be as great and he would have been able to eat on his own, with little help.

Something to consider and discuss with your vet if you're going through this cancer.  I've read some people have had all canine's removed to be sure.

 

[donutte]

If I knew then, what I know now

Just wanted to say... I've said these words more times than I can count in the last few months. I guess one of the best things we can do in these situations is try to learn from it.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Just so you know. I follow this thread.

Thank you Kittens Mom, I appreciate that.  

I would like for those out there to know they're not alone when faced with an ordeal with their little wee ones.  

And if they get bad news from the vet, with faith, love, patience and lot's of paper towels, lol, it's still possible to make joyful memories and experience a satisfying proper goodbye, and as in my case... days could turn into months.

 

[LotsOfFur]

He looks so sweet and loving! What beautiful souls you both are! [emoji]128149[/emoji]

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Just wanted to say... I've said these words more times than I can count in the last few months. I guess one of the best things we can do in these situations is try to learn from it.

Did you go through the same cancer, or another awful ordeal? I'm sorry you went through this process.  I'm still getting myself familiar with the members and their experiences.

I suppose it's never easy.

 

[artiemom]

I am so overcome with admiration for you, along with your devotion to Simon.
I keep reading this with my heart on edge. Words are not there for me.

Your writings are so eloquent. I have fallen in love with Simon.

Please ale care of yourself. (((Hugs)))

 

[foxxycat]

Sending you guys

And prayers if you believe.

I haven't dealt with a long illness but I did have one pass form bone cancer or non regenitive anemia. We did the blood transfusion and treasured each day. It bought us 3 weeks, it was very roller coaster and I cried more then than after. But we learned she loved sleeping in my lap outside..and why I never learned this before? Well I was too busy with life. She taought me to slow down and just be still. I still struggle daily with this one.

I have great respect for what you are doing.  Keep up the good work, I don't have the answers. I only wish I am as strong as you are if I have to go through an illness like cancer again.

Thank you for taking the time to love and care for this baby. He looks like a sweetheart. I am sure the growling from eating is his way of saying DARN IT or other such words..

I love how you have written everything down..

sending you more