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Sunday Question of the Day, the 3rd of May, 2020
- Thread starter Mia6
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Same here.Oh, boy. My wedding photos are in an album somewhere in the attic covered in 25 years' worth of dust.
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You look so pretty and your venue is super cute!
Well, been married 3x so 3 different experiences.
First one was your typical too big affair, In my late 20's. I vaguely remember sort of having a good time but knew I shouldn't be marrying the guy so that's memorable. And when we left the venue, we went with his parents and him and them had a HUGE argument in the car. Don't remember over what. They were always fighting.
Second wedding was many years later. In my late 30's - or maybe I was already 40? I'd have to count backward. That was a very nice, smaller one of only about 80 people so it was pretty much immediate family/friends. Had it in a Victorian house that was part of a larger catering hall. I made a point of making sure I was fully involved in that one so I have a lot of memories. But of course one crummy thing had to happen - some woman crashed the party at the end as people were leaving; obnoxiously drunk, smoking in a non-smoking area and proceeded to insult me by calling me "a fat bride" when I asked her to leave the area of my wedding. Good thing I didn't take that to heart. What a piece of trash she was.
Third wedding is my last one and again, many years passed between the 2nd and 3rd. Very late 50's when we married (now about to be 61). A lot older and wiser. Did not do anything "weddingish" for the most part. We had our partnering in our backyard and only had 10 other people there. And our cats! Took everyone to a nice lunch in a fav restaurant nearby our home, which we reserved in advance and wound up being the only ones there for most of the meal (it's a very small restaurant). I developed a horrible migraine as the day was wearing on - it was incredibly hot and humid, even first thing in the morning when we married outdoors in the shade. I was so busy organizing the whole thing myself (I mean it was such a tiny wedding, really not a big deal) that I didn't pay enough attention to my own needs. Made it through the (excellent!) lunch and on the way into NYC in the limo, where we spent a few nights before we were going to go on our big vacation later in the year), I passed out after taking my migraine medication. But by the time we got into NYC and to our hotel, I felt A LOT better. And walking out onto our huge terrace overlooking Park Avenue helped the remainder of that headache disappear LOL.
Someone complained about no photos so here's one from the last wedding - with cats (nice memories as Casper passed last year).
View attachment 332735
First one was your typical too big affair, In my late 20's. I vaguely remember sort of having a good time but knew I shouldn't be marrying the guy so that's memorable. And when we left the venue, we went with his parents and him and them had a HUGE argument in the car. Don't remember over what. They were always fighting.
Second wedding was many years later. In my late 30's - or maybe I was already 40? I'd have to count backward. That was a very nice, smaller one of only about 80 people so it was pretty much immediate family/friends. Had it in a Victorian house that was part of a larger catering hall. I made a point of making sure I was fully involved in that one so I have a lot of memories. But of course one crummy thing had to happen - some woman crashed the party at the end as people were leaving; obnoxiously drunk, smoking in a non-smoking area and proceeded to insult me by calling me "a fat bride" when I asked her to leave the area of my wedding. Good thing I didn't take that to heart. What a piece of trash she was.
Third wedding is my last one and again, many years passed between the 2nd and 3rd. Very late 50's when we married (now about to be 61). A lot older and wiser. Did not do anything "weddingish" for the most part. We had our partnering in our backyard and only had 10 other people there. And our cats! Took everyone to a nice lunch in a fav restaurant nearby our home, which we reserved in advance and wound up being the only ones there for most of the meal (it's a very small restaurant). I developed a horrible migraine as the day was wearing on - it was incredibly hot and humid, even first thing in the morning when we married outdoors in the shade. I was so busy organizing the whole thing myself (I mean it was such a tiny wedding, really not a big deal) that I didn't pay enough attention to my own needs. Made it through the (excellent!) lunch and on the way into NYC in the limo, where we spent a few nights before we were going to go on our big vacation later in the year), I passed out after taking my migraine medication. But by the time we got into NYC and to our hotel, I felt A LOT better. And walking out onto our huge terrace overlooking Park Avenue helped the remainder of that headache disappear LOL.
Someone complained about no photos so here's one from the last wedding - with cats (nice memories as Casper passed last year).
View attachment 332735
This is going to be a bit long, but there are pictures in the end! There is also some drama to be told, hence the long post. I have to set it up for the actual wedding. Otherwise, we sound like jerks.
I do not speak to my family except for one of my sisters and her three children. My husband (I will call him H), loves his mother, grandma, and his sister. He has an okay relationship with two of his brothers, a strained relationship with another brother, and an almost non-relationship with his father and step-mother. Of his entire family, only his sister liked (loved!) me. I got along with one of his brothers but had not met the rest of his siblings. His mother refused to get to know me, as did the rest of the family. Two of his brothers got married while we were dating. One did not invite me to the wedding. The other sat me across the room from him. We were engaged at the time of both weddings. his father and step-hag (I mean, step-mother), referred to me as "That woman." I was also not invited to family events and several times his family tried to set him up with "better" girlfriends.
Why all the hate? 1) They are all rather religious and I am an Atheistic Pagan. His mother was certain I was a theist Satan worshiper who turned her son to atheism. (He was an atheist when we met.) 2) I am older than him and unable to have more children due to medical issues. (His one brother's wife is 22 years older than him but was Christian, so she was deemed okay enough. Also, H never wanted children. My children being older was a big plus for him!) 3) I am disabled. His mother's only issue was #1. His sister, who is studying to become a pastor is the only one to get to know me.
So, when we started planning our wedding, we originally planned to elope; however, it would have hurt my children's feelings if they could not come, so we planned something small instead. We decided to invite them, my son's fiancee and his best friend who is like a son to us, and my sister and her three children. only two of her kids could make it, though. Her son could not get off of work. We would have invited his sister, but it would have put her in a bad spot with the rest of the family. No one else was told.
On the day of, we dropped wedding announcements off at the post office. We got married at Stone Cottage at the Conservancy for Cuyahoga Valley National Park, which is not too far from our house. I wore black, carried a broom, and had a witch hat fascinator instead of a veil. He wore a black kilt (H is mainly Scottish) and a maroon vest. We walked down the aisle together to "Time Machine" from "Safety Not Guaranteed." The aisle started outside and went into the cottage. I had my cane, but walking on carpet is painful, especially with shoes, so when we got to the door, H stopped me, bent over, and took off my shoes. He was so excited that he kept saying "I do" when he was supposed to be saying something else. It was the cutest thing ever. Our vows had geeky references in them to Firefly, Safety Not Guaranteed, Lord of the Rings, a few Shakespeare plays, Star Wars, and Star Trek. We "danced" to "London Thumakda" and ate a sit-down dim sum dinner with our seven guests. My eldest niece still talks about how great it was. Everyone got a personally selected book, a pair of nice chopsticks, and a crystal of their choosing. Our officiant decided not to charge us because she thought we deserved a gift. She said we were the sweetest, most in love couple for whom she had ever officiated.
I did forget the steam iron, so the table cloth was wrinkled.
After everyone left, we drove to the Inn at Brandywine Falls, where we had a two-day honeymoon. When we got there, I convinced H to call his mom because I did not want her to find out from the announcement. She was shocked and, probably, deeply unhappy. I am certain, however, that she understood why she was not invited. We texted his sister who was thrilled. Needless to say, the rest of the family was a mix of shock and anger. I guess his mother called to warn his grandma before she got the announcement.
I am pleased to say that his mother and I get along and actually love each other now. I think she loves me against her will, but once she got to know me and to understand how much I love H, she put her distaste for my religious affiliations and decided it was better to accept me than to lose her son. I told her once that because we both love H, we are on the same side. I think that helped. I am on okay terms with his grandma, one of his brothers, and one of his sisters-in-law. I have a friendly relationship with H's brother with whom he does not exactly get along, which is a shock to everyone. His other brother and his wife have said three sentences--a total of 14 words if you count "We better be going"-- to me. (It was at brother #3's wedding last year, which was more than 10 years after H and I started dating. 10 years.) H's father and his step-mother are not part of our lives. Step-mother and I had words last year when she asked me to trick H into spending time with his father and after she would not stop sending us political and religious garbage. If you did not guess, they were heated words. All-in-all, it has worked out.
On my side of things, my ex-husband heard from my ex-brother-in-law who heard it from my niece who was at my wedding that I had gotten married and flipped out. He and his girlfriend--who was my sister's friend all through high school-- called and texted my sister more than 70 times, combining texts and calls, demanding that she show proof that I was married. (Some may recall that he was abusive and caused me to become disabled.) She had to threaten to call the police. He claimed we were all lying because I was trying to mess with him, although he did not say "mess." He knew about H and that we had been engaged for years. It should not have been a shock.
Oh! And I had purchased my wedding dress a few months before the wedding. That is when my lipedema, a hereditary medical condition that essentially makes me bigger no matter what I eat or how much I exercise, decided to kick in full force. My legs and arms have always looked "too big" for my body, but I went from size 4 to a 12/14 in a matter of roughly four months. I had to get a new dress and spent a lot of time crying.
Sorry. I told you it was long. This is the condensed version. I just know that when people hear that we did not invite the vast majority of our family, including his mother who he absolutely loves, we come off as sounding like horrible, monstrous, cold-hearted people.
Professional song (We entered the building at timestamp 2:40.):
Song that played when we jumped the broom (though unplanned):
Our one and only dance at the reception song:
I do not speak to my family except for one of my sisters and her three children. My husband (I will call him H), loves his mother, grandma, and his sister. He has an okay relationship with two of his brothers, a strained relationship with another brother, and an almost non-relationship with his father and step-mother. Of his entire family, only his sister liked (loved!) me. I got along with one of his brothers but had not met the rest of his siblings. His mother refused to get to know me, as did the rest of the family. Two of his brothers got married while we were dating. One did not invite me to the wedding. The other sat me across the room from him. We were engaged at the time of both weddings. his father and step-hag (I mean, step-mother), referred to me as "That woman." I was also not invited to family events and several times his family tried to set him up with "better" girlfriends.
Why all the hate? 1) They are all rather religious and I am an Atheistic Pagan. His mother was certain I was a theist Satan worshiper who turned her son to atheism. (He was an atheist when we met.) 2) I am older than him and unable to have more children due to medical issues. (His one brother's wife is 22 years older than him but was Christian, so she was deemed okay enough. Also, H never wanted children. My children being older was a big plus for him!) 3) I am disabled. His mother's only issue was #1. His sister, who is studying to become a pastor is the only one to get to know me.
So, when we started planning our wedding, we originally planned to elope; however, it would have hurt my children's feelings if they could not come, so we planned something small instead. We decided to invite them, my son's fiancee and his best friend who is like a son to us, and my sister and her three children. only two of her kids could make it, though. Her son could not get off of work. We would have invited his sister, but it would have put her in a bad spot with the rest of the family. No one else was told.
On the day of, we dropped wedding announcements off at the post office. We got married at Stone Cottage at the Conservancy for Cuyahoga Valley National Park, which is not too far from our house. I wore black, carried a broom, and had a witch hat fascinator instead of a veil. He wore a black kilt (H is mainly Scottish) and a maroon vest. We walked down the aisle together to "Time Machine" from "Safety Not Guaranteed." The aisle started outside and went into the cottage. I had my cane, but walking on carpet is painful, especially with shoes, so when we got to the door, H stopped me, bent over, and took off my shoes. He was so excited that he kept saying "I do" when he was supposed to be saying something else. It was the cutest thing ever. Our vows had geeky references in them to Firefly, Safety Not Guaranteed, Lord of the Rings, a few Shakespeare plays, Star Wars, and Star Trek. We "danced" to "London Thumakda" and ate a sit-down dim sum dinner with our seven guests. My eldest niece still talks about how great it was. Everyone got a personally selected book, a pair of nice chopsticks, and a crystal of their choosing. Our officiant decided not to charge us because she thought we deserved a gift. She said we were the sweetest, most in love couple for whom she had ever officiated.
I did forget the steam iron, so the table cloth was wrinkled.
After everyone left, we drove to the Inn at Brandywine Falls, where we had a two-day honeymoon. When we got there, I convinced H to call his mom because I did not want her to find out from the announcement. She was shocked and, probably, deeply unhappy. I am certain, however, that she understood why she was not invited. We texted his sister who was thrilled. Needless to say, the rest of the family was a mix of shock and anger. I guess his mother called to warn his grandma before she got the announcement.
I am pleased to say that his mother and I get along and actually love each other now. I think she loves me against her will, but once she got to know me and to understand how much I love H, she put her distaste for my religious affiliations and decided it was better to accept me than to lose her son. I told her once that because we both love H, we are on the same side. I think that helped. I am on okay terms with his grandma, one of his brothers, and one of his sisters-in-law. I have a friendly relationship with H's brother with whom he does not exactly get along, which is a shock to everyone. His other brother and his wife have said three sentences--a total of 14 words if you count "We better be going"-- to me. (It was at brother #3's wedding last year, which was more than 10 years after H and I started dating. 10 years.) H's father and his step-mother are not part of our lives. Step-mother and I had words last year when she asked me to trick H into spending time with his father and after she would not stop sending us political and religious garbage. If you did not guess, they were heated words. All-in-all, it has worked out.
On my side of things, my ex-husband heard from my ex-brother-in-law who heard it from my niece who was at my wedding that I had gotten married and flipped out. He and his girlfriend--who was my sister's friend all through high school-- called and texted my sister more than 70 times, combining texts and calls, demanding that she show proof that I was married. (Some may recall that he was abusive and caused me to become disabled.) She had to threaten to call the police. He claimed we were all lying because I was trying to mess with him, although he did not say "mess." He knew about H and that we had been engaged for years. It should not have been a shock.
Oh! And I had purchased my wedding dress a few months before the wedding. That is when my lipedema, a hereditary medical condition that essentially makes me bigger no matter what I eat or how much I exercise, decided to kick in full force. My legs and arms have always looked "too big" for my body, but I went from size 4 to a 12/14 in a matter of roughly four months. I had to get a new dress and spent a lot of time crying.
Sorry. I told you it was long. This is the condensed version. I just know that when people hear that we did not invite the vast majority of our family, including his mother who he absolutely loves, we come off as sounding like horrible, monstrous, cold-hearted people.
Professional song (We entered the building at timestamp 2:40.):
Song that played when we jumped the broom (though unplanned):
Our one and only dance at the reception song:
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I bet you did not care about the rain at all and hardly left the cabin.
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Lari how do you transfer hardcopies (photos) to laptop?
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Not sure! When I've wanted to put in an old hard copy photo, I take a picture of it with my smartphone. I guess I could transfer it to a laptop from there, but usually when I post photos here I just upload them straight from my phone.
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Gorgeous photos! I love all your geeky touches and you have amazing hair!
Ah...I doubt I'll ever have a wedding unfortunately (never say never, but realistically I haven't even kept a bf for more than a couple of months before I dumped him..usually I only make it 2 dates in before I break it off out of sheer boredom), but of course I've thought about what I'd want to do. I have a fantasy about renting out a concert venue and after saying "I do" me and my partner stage dive and crowd surf our way out. haha
Weddings in Korea are either traditional or take place at a commercial wedding hall. Traditional looks nice, but way too involved for my taste and I would sooner die than hold my wedding in the same hall that 8 other weddings are happening at AT THE SAME TIME. If I were back in the states, the same would be said about a church wedding. I would never get married in a church! Would probably do a historical building or a very hipster barn wedding.
Weddings in Korea are either traditional or take place at a commercial wedding hall. Traditional looks nice, but way too involved for my taste and I would sooner die than hold my wedding in the same hall that 8 other weddings are happening at AT THE SAME TIME. If I were back in the states, the same would be said about a church wedding. I would never get married in a church! Would probably do a historical building or a very hipster barn wedding.
A scanner, usually. If you have a printer/copier, it probably has a scan function too.
Aw! Thank you!
We had a nice wedding. It rained; so no outside pictures. There wasn't much drama either. My church isn't evenly divided and my Paternal Grandparent's accidentally got seated on my DH's side because we ran out of room on the Bride's side. I didn't know till afterwards. My Step-grandparents had been seated before them. 
I know my Grandma; she was probably fussing inside!! When I found out (not till after the honeymoon) I called my Grandma and thanked her for standing in for DH's Grandparents because none of them had been able to attend. She must have liked that idea because I never heard anything about it and Gram isn't known for keeping thoughts to herself.
We had a few little snafus; like the place cards for dinner seating not being put out. And my cousin having issues getting to the church so no guest book attendant; but oh well. I was a younger bride; so not very wedding experienced. We got married a few months before I turned 21. It's young by today's standards but it was right for us.
We got married at our church where we still attend; with the ceremony performed by my former youth pastor. I wanted someone who had known me well to do it. He teared up when he saw the ring on my hand after DH proposed. It was the right choice. We had a big bridal party; 7 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, a junior bridesmaid, flower girl and ringbearer. My stepbrothers served as ushers (they were young too; so probably part of why they seated my Grandparents out of order).
The reception was at a local senior center that has 3 ballrooms and regularly does big weddings. They serve a nice with a buffet dinner. A friend was a DJ so he and his new wife handled that. I think we had around 200 guests; which is shocking to me now.
My mother's friend came from another state to make my cake. It was shaped like an octagon and tasted as good as it looked with raspberry filling. We designed it together.
DH and I aren't the most photogenic and this was right before digital photography got big; so our photos aren't great by today's standards. Plus we couldn't do the outdoor ones. The girls wore dark red dresses that matched the guys vests and ties. DH wore a gold vest and tie because he really didn't like red. They had black tuxes. I made all the bouquets, boutineers, flowers, etc. I made the centerpieces. By today's standards we were probably pretty cheap but it was nice for the time.
Looking back I'm glad we did what we did and how we did it. I see so many people who have passed away in those wedding and reception photos. I'm glad they were there for us.
I know my Grandma; she was probably fussing inside!! When I found out (not till after the honeymoon) I called my Grandma and thanked her for standing in for DH's Grandparents because none of them had been able to attend. She must have liked that idea because I never heard anything about it and Gram isn't known for keeping thoughts to herself. We had a few little snafus; like the place cards for dinner seating not being put out. And my cousin having issues getting to the church so no guest book attendant; but oh well. I was a younger bride; so not very wedding experienced. We got married a few months before I turned 21. It's young by today's standards but it was right for us.
We got married at our church where we still attend; with the ceremony performed by my former youth pastor. I wanted someone who had known me well to do it. He teared up when he saw the ring on my hand after DH proposed. It was the right choice. We had a big bridal party; 7 bridesmaids, 6 groomsmen, a junior bridesmaid, flower girl and ringbearer. My stepbrothers served as ushers (they were young too; so probably part of why they seated my Grandparents out of order).
The reception was at a local senior center that has 3 ballrooms and regularly does big weddings. They serve a nice with a buffet dinner. A friend was a DJ so he and his new wife handled that. I think we had around 200 guests; which is shocking to me now.
My mother's friend came from another state to make my cake. It was shaped like an octagon and tasted as good as it looked with raspberry filling. We designed it together.DH and I aren't the most photogenic and this was right before digital photography got big; so our photos aren't great by today's standards. Plus we couldn't do the outdoor ones. The girls wore dark red dresses that matched the guys vests and ties. DH wore a gold vest and tie because he really didn't like red. They had black tuxes. I made all the bouquets, boutineers, flowers, etc. I made the centerpieces. By today's standards we were probably pretty cheap but it was nice for the time.
Looking back I'm glad we did what we did and how we did it. I see so many people who have passed away in those wedding and reception photos. I'm glad they were there for us.
That looks beautiful! I went to a Steam Punk wedding in the UK once. The bride wore a gold dress, had her dreads up in a beehive held in place with metal butterfly clips and the groom wore a black tail coat very similar to the one your husband was wearing.
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Did you punch her out?
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Nope.I bet you did not care about the rain at all and hardly left the cabin.
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I never had any dreams at all of getting married when I was a child or when I was an adult. I was proposed to over 21 times, and I told them "no thank you, but thanks for asking. I told you when it became obvious you were getting serious not to think about it with me". However when I was 39 I ran into a former beau at a lumberyard he co-owned with his father. He did not charge me for the expensive incense cedar I was purchasing for my Fathers closet. He asked me out again. (I had this man as a bf 3 times in the past, I had known him since my early 20's.) I accepted and he kept sending me gigantic bouquets of flowers, roses and exotic arrangements. Eventually he proposed to me again. I whispered into his ear "maybe". He said "well you go ahead and put these rings on your right hand until you tell me yes". I thought oh my this man is so confident! Six months later he planned a wedding for us in Kauai HI and paid for everything. We did not invite anyone. When his best friend found out we were going alone he decided that he should be best man. So those were the only people we knew that witnessed it. We got married in the Fern Grotto after taking an exotic boat to that beautiful island. We were married by a native female preacher (a descendant of the former Queen Liluokalani). I just about started to run into the foliage and get away, my eyes welling with tears and my mind with fears. He gently held onto me and a tear escaped his eye. Those witnesses we knew (man & wife) were wearing matching Hawaiian shirt and dress). I was wearing a beautiful simple Hawaiian ivory cutout with black underneath & pearls sewn onto the mid-calf length two part dress. I had purchased it in CA at an Hawaiian specialty store. We had leis on.
The Fern Grotto is a beautiful exotic place and there was hardly anyone else there (a plus). After he put the terribly exotic rings on my left hand and the preacher was done 3 native fellas strummed their guitars in the little valley below for us. Our 2 friends scattered birdseed in the air around us. The photographer was excellent Hawaiian decent also. I had a beautiful bouquet which I threw to no one, but kept. The boat took us back.We were staying at the Hyatt regency hotel. It was so beautiful and romantic. When we got back to the hotel a giant bouquet of native flowers & fruits had been sent from my Parents with the message "Kitty misses you". We have been married for 28 years. I hope this was not too long, and I have no way to print the pictures (I probably would need another computer tutor).
The Fern Grotto is a beautiful exotic place and there was hardly anyone else there (a plus). After he put the terribly exotic rings on my left hand and the preacher was done 3 native fellas strummed their guitars in the little valley below for us. Our 2 friends scattered birdseed in the air around us. The photographer was excellent Hawaiian decent also. I had a beautiful bouquet which I threw to no one, but kept. The boat took us back.We were staying at the Hyatt regency hotel. It was so beautiful and romantic. When we got back to the hotel a giant bouquet of native flowers & fruits had been sent from my Parents with the message "Kitty misses you". We have been married for 28 years. I hope this was not too long, and I have no way to print the pictures (I probably would need another computer tutor).
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Sounds beautiful!
