What a crappy Christmas Present....
My husband and I have split up. After almost a year of being sober he decided he was going to chose his drinking over having a family. My dad and our counsilor tried to intervene and help but it didn't. He left about an hour ago and I can't help but think maybe this is my Christmas present. Maybe God wanted it to be this way. We've been fighting like crazy the last 2 weeks and I should have seen it coming. He lied to everyone's face tonight by saying he was just fighting an urge and was over it. That he wasn't going to drink. Even told them he was going to stay here and he would call his mom back and tell her not to come pick him up but 10 mins after everyone left, so did he. I tried to call his mom but all of a sudden she's not answering the phone now. She's never stood behind me when I have supported him through his drinking issues. She will say she doesn't want him at her house drinking but yet give him money to go get the alcohol and let him stay at her house while he's doing it. I'm VERY upset about it and I don't think it's sunk it yet.
He knows how important Christmas and this time of year is to me and I feel like he's done everything in his power to ruin it for me because he's always talking about how bad his Christmas' always were growing up. Like he doesn't want anyone to be happy because he had a crappy childhood. We've spent THOUSANDS of dollars in rehabs, and counsiling the last year, lost a couple jobs, his driver's license, and been totally embarrassed because of his drinking, and I've supported him through the whole thing just to be slapped in the face.
Yeah, I might lose my house, my truck, and literally everything I own, but I'm thankful because I know myself or my children won't be going through the stress anymore and having to put our want/needs aside because of him.
About a month or so ago he went to work and never came home. No phone call, nothing. I found him at a bar, drunk. He spent $50 that night and we were literally BROKE at that time. I forgave him, like an idiot and figured that all alcoholics fall off the wagon once in awhile. He swore he wouldn't do it again.
Today it was all about how I wanted cupcakes and he wanted brownies. How stupid is that?!
I think he was looking for an excuse to drink... no, I KNOW he was looking for an excuse. Told me he couldn't afford to get me anything for Xmas and in the same breath asked me "I guess you aren't going to let me drink at all through the holidays are you?" I was floored!
I'm sorry... I'll stop rambling... I'm just SOO confused. I don't want him here anymore but am scared at the thought of doing all w/o him...and will I be strong enough the next time he comes crawling back?
So I sit here in an empty house, (mom has the kids) with it all decorated for Christmas a plate of nachos on the stove (made for him) and in absolute shambles....I want to scream and yell but then I want to be strong and I want to cry....
My husband and I have split up. After almost a year of being sober he decided he was going to chose his drinking over having a family. My dad and our counsilor tried to intervene and help but it didn't. He left about an hour ago and I can't help but think maybe this is my Christmas present. Maybe God wanted it to be this way. We've been fighting like crazy the last 2 weeks and I should have seen it coming. He lied to everyone's face tonight by saying he was just fighting an urge and was over it. That he wasn't going to drink. Even told them he was going to stay here and he would call his mom back and tell her not to come pick him up but 10 mins after everyone left, so did he. I tried to call his mom but all of a sudden she's not answering the phone now. She's never stood behind me when I have supported him through his drinking issues. She will say she doesn't want him at her house drinking but yet give him money to go get the alcohol and let him stay at her house while he's doing it. I'm VERY upset about it and I don't think it's sunk it yet.
He knows how important Christmas and this time of year is to me and I feel like he's done everything in his power to ruin it for me because he's always talking about how bad his Christmas' always were growing up. Like he doesn't want anyone to be happy because he had a crappy childhood. We've spent THOUSANDS of dollars in rehabs, and counsiling the last year, lost a couple jobs, his driver's license, and been totally embarrassed because of his drinking, and I've supported him through the whole thing just to be slapped in the face.
Yeah, I might lose my house, my truck, and literally everything I own, but I'm thankful because I know myself or my children won't be going through the stress anymore and having to put our want/needs aside because of him.
About a month or so ago he went to work and never came home. No phone call, nothing. I found him at a bar, drunk. He spent $50 that night and we were literally BROKE at that time. I forgave him, like an idiot and figured that all alcoholics fall off the wagon once in awhile. He swore he wouldn't do it again.
Today it was all about how I wanted cupcakes and he wanted brownies. How stupid is that?!
I think he was looking for an excuse to drink... no, I KNOW he was looking for an excuse. Told me he couldn't afford to get me anything for Xmas and in the same breath asked me "I guess you aren't going to let me drink at all through the holidays are you?" I was floored!
I'm sorry... I'll stop rambling... I'm just SOO confused. I don't want him here anymore but am scared at the thought of doing all w/o him...and will I be strong enough the next time he comes crawling back?
So I sit here in an empty house, (mom has the kids) with it all decorated for Christmas a plate of nachos on the stove (made for him) and in absolute shambles....I want to scream and yell but then I want to be strong and I want to cry....