Question of the Day, Sunday 24 November, 2019

[MoonstoneWolf]

Oh my it is true times have changed. Back in the 70's it was common and acceptable to drop in even in the middle of the night. I never had anyone do it with suitcases though. One time my fiance and I dropped in at Jerry Garcia's house about 2am and he got up and started playing the guitar and serenading us. This was before he got famous. These days, unless it's family I won't even answer the door, I despise the drop in--I'd much rather have the available time to have a good visit. Also it is nice to have specialty food and beverage ready for the visit. I agree, these days there just really is no reason why visitors can't call ahead of time.

I understand that but when it comes to losing your job and means of supporting yourself or entertaining unannounced guests I'll keep the job any day because if I lost my job I may not have been around to entertain guests announced or unannounced, whether the year was 1923 or 1993

 

[betsygee]

Never. I would not appreciate that one bit, and I think everyone who knows me, knows that about me.

 

[Kat0121]

We've never had a drop in and don't want one. IMO there's no excuse for it. People lead busier lives than they did decades ago. Back then, mom stayed home with the kids so the chances were better that someone would be there and mom had likely spent the day cooking and cleaning. Nowadays, most women work out of the home and the ones that don't often homeschool or work from home. You can't assume that someone will be hanging around waiting to entertain you. Back then, there was one method of communication. The land line. Back then, if you were away from home and couldn't find a pay phone it wasn't that unusual to just "show up". Now there's no excuse because there are so many more ways of getting in touch with someone. Times change. That's the way it goes. I know some people long for the days when things were simpler but in reality, after those unannounced guests left, how often was it that the ones who were dropped in on sat around and grumbled about the rudeness of those who dropped in? I'm guessing more often than not. "Can you believe the nerve of your aunt Gertrude showing up like that and just expecting me to have enough dinner ready for her, uncle Bert and their 4 kids? What do they think we're running here? A Howard Johnson's?"

People remember what they want from the old days and gloss over the rest.

BTW I was born in 1970 so I do remember a lot from the simpler days. Things weren't that much different from the 50's and 60's.

 

[CatLover49]

I like to know when someone is coming..Phone call PLEASE....Unless its an emergency....

 

[CatLover49]

Never. I would not appreciate that one bit, and I think everyone who knows me, knows that about me.

Same here

 

[Jem]

I can go with the flow if it's an emergency, but I really hate drop ins. I have never had anyone show up with suitcases, I honestly don't know what I would do with that. I think something would snap in my brain and I'd have a stoke. When I'm home, I'm in no way "dressed to receive", I'm usually in my PJs, not wearing a bra, and I feel uncomfortable. I also don't like having people over if my house is not cleaned up. Thankfully, anyone who just drops by is usually a family member and they are stopping to drop something off or pick something up I have for them, not for a visit. I'm still hospitable and we chat for a bit, but even at that, I still cringe every time the door bell rings or someone knocks at the door. I peak out the front window before going to the door to see if I recognize who is there. I'm never in the mood to humor sales people or the Jehovah, they don't seem to take a polite no for an answer and I hate being rude and closing the door in their faces, so I just don't answer if I don't know who's at my door.

 

[Elphaba09]

It has never happened, although certain people would be welcomed. It would cause a great deal of stress, but they would be welcome. By "they", I can only think of two people to which that applies. The first is my sister-in-law who lives a few states away. She is my husband's favorite sibling and I adore her. If she showed up, with or without her boyfriend, I might actually be pretty happy under the stress. The second is my son's best friend. They have been friends since 3rd or 4th grade, and he is like a second son to me. I cannot think of a situation in which he would not be welcome. He does stop by with little warning now. An hour or two has been his smallest warning window, which is just enough time to not look a mess and to vacuum. (He loves our cats, so I doubt I really need to worry about the cat hair!)

In general, I do not like people inside my house because of my PTSD. Hex, I do not like people knocking on my door. It makes me feel as if I have less control over my surroundings.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I can't specifically think of the last time someone dropped in on me. Not even my mother will do that. It's easy to text and we really don't have family close enough to do that either. I mean I practically hit the floor and hide when the doorbell rings period! When my kids were smaller it drove me nuts because they'd run for the door thinking it was their Grandma or a package to carry inside. And then I'd get stuck talking to little old ladies inviting us to their church. One time they showed up right after I'd gotten shoes and coats on the kids to leave. (If you've ever had toddlers you know that's a feat sometimes because you're also working around naps and meals!!) We ended up hiding in our own kitchen waiting and waiting for them to drive away. I bought a No Soliciting sign after that. Problem solved.

 

[LTS3]

I remembered another time when a different set of cousins who live about 2 hours away in the next state over showed up but no one was at home. We had gone shopping at the mall and came back to find a note left on the front door saying that they had come by to park their car in our backyard so they could take the train downtown (they obviously didn't want to pay for expensive garage parking downtown) and would be back later to retrieve their car. The cousins (mom's niece and her DH and kids who were around the same as me and my siblings) never called to ask if they could park in our backyard. They just assumed since we're family it was ok. The cousins came back loaded with shopping bags and then wanted us to take them out for dinner because they were visiting. Really?? My parents weren't too pleased but didn't say anything. I don't believe Mom said anything to her niece or to her sister (niece's mom) about coming by unannounced and using our backyard.

 

[MonaLyssa33]

Nope. Almost all of my family is within 20 miles of me (or other family), so nobody ever needs to just show up. I did show up at my parents' house last year at 1am because my apartment flooded and they didn't answer their phones so I just showed up with a suitcase and two cats and stayed for 10 days.

 

[denice]

Even though it was acceptable to drop in when I was a kid people didn't drop in at meal time. That wasn't considered the right thing to do. It was women with afternoon visits and families in the evenings after dinner usually to play cards while the kids played board games.

 

[kashmir64]

I'm so far out nobody wants to drop in. No one would spend all the time to come out here without calling to see if I'm home, and they wouldn't be welcome if they did. With the exception of my BFF. He has an open invitation to show up whenever he needs and stay as long as he likes. We've been friends for going on 18 years.

 

[Mia6]

he evenings after dinner usually to play cards while the kids played board games.

I love Euchre and a lot of board games. The good old days. If I mention a game at a family gathering, 10 people look up from their
cells and say "games??????" Even Grayson who is 4, sigh,,,,,,

 

[Mia6]

I remembered another time when a different set of cousins who live about 2 hours away in the next state over showed up but no one was at home. We had gone shopping at the mall and came back to find a note left on the front door saying that they had come by to park their car in our backyard so they could take the train downtown (they obviously didn't want to pay for expensive garage parking downtown) and would be back later to retrieve their car. The cousins (mom's niece and her DH and kids who were around the same as me and my siblings) never called to ask if they could park in our backyard. They just assumed since we're family it was ok. The cousins came back loaded with shopping bags and then wanted us to take them out for dinner because they were visiting. Really?? My parents weren't too pleased but didn't say anything. I don't believe Mom said anything to her niece or to her sister (niece's mom) about coming by unannounced and using our backyard.

I think they're related to my ex's family from Toronto.

 

[jcat]

We get occasional drop-in visits, generally from family members, and don't mind. I only recall one person showing up with a suitcase - an ex-boyfriend (now that's going way back) I didn't even know was in Europe. Hubby wasn't pleased, but he was gracious.

 

[Winchester]

Years ago, one of my dad's brothers and his family used to "drop in" on Mom and Dad, usually right around suppertime on a Sunday. Mom usually made fried chicken and waffles or pork and sauerkraut, things that took a while to make for Sunday dinners. Meatloaf, roast beef, etc. And we'd hear the car pull into the driveway and the family (aunt, uncle, and three cousins) would come piling into the house. "Oh, we're just stopping by! Not for dinner!" But they always stayed. It was nothing for Mom to peel and cook over ten pounds of potatoes, in addition to tons of everything else. They were all really big eaters.

It got to be too much and Mom started to have our Sunday dinner at noon instead of 5:00. That way, when they'd show up, dinner was over. They weren't particularly amused because Mom wouldn't get anything out for supper either. Until after they left.

We never had anybody come unannounced with suitcases in hand.

 

[Kat0121]

Years ago, one of my dad's brothers and his family used to "drop in" on Mom and Dad, usually right around suppertime on a Sunday. Mom usually made fried chicken and waffles or pork and sauerkraut, things that took a while to make for Sunday dinners. Meatloaf, roast beef, etc. And we'd hear the car pull into the driveway and the family (aunt, uncle, and three cousins) would come piling into the house. "Oh, we're just stopping by! Not for dinner!" But they always stayed. It was nothing for Mom to peel and cook over ten pounds of potatoes, in addition to tons of everything else. They were all really big eaters.

It got to be too much and Mom started to have our Sunday dinner at noon instead of 5:00. That way, when they'd show up, dinner was over. They weren't particularly amused because Mom wouldn't get anything out for supper either. Until after they left.

We never had anybody come unannounced with suitcases in hand.

Wow. That really took a lot of nerve. I wouldn't have answered the door.

 

[Mia6]

They weren't particularly amused because Mom wouldn't get anything out for supper either. Until after they left.

 

[cheeser]

Anyone want to take a wild guess what's happened to me this holiday weekend?

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry when I saw the suitcases. Probably more like crying.

 

[Mia6]

Anyone want to take a wild guess what's happened to me this holiday weekend?

I wasn't sure whether to laugh or to cry when I saw the suitcases. Probably more like crying.

Oh no!!!!! Ha!!! Was it ok?