I'll tell you every time I'm here that it is not your fault my friend. Because it's not. You had absolutely zero control of what happened and the outcome Ryan. Good to have your other cat keep you company and entertained. It's a tough and painful road my friend. I think your mind will go up and down and change many times from happy to sad but after 2-3 months you will start to feel better and from there move forward, but still of course think of your baby and have sad times. Well that's my experience. Do the things that keep you stimulated and make you happy Ryan. For me it was exercise and playing sport. That made me relax and gave me something to focus on. I'd finish up after a soccer game crying my eyes out on the way home though. But that has stopped. But sport and exercise have been my outlet. I've broke and mended many times since my boy departed this earth. Then again do our baby'sreally depart? I'm sure they stay with us and our family while were on this earth in spirit. I was going to say my boy died, but he didn't really die. I know my boys spirit lives on, he's one tough cookie and I'm sure your baby is the same.
I just feel like it was my fault, though I know there was nothing I could do. I do like to think it was her I heard. Mouse is so much like her already. He likes to sleep under the blankets and sit on top of the fish tank. I can't wait to see how much he grows up to be like her.
Ryan Glenn, you have been through a tragic and completely unexpected loss with the death of Morticia. Do not expect yourself to get past it so easily. It was a bizzare and unexpected thing and that is what will make it much more difficult for you. You will always miss her, but it will get easier over time this I can promise you. Those memories of her running through the grass and meowing at you, keep those close. Try your best not to dwell on what happened and focus on her precious babies she left behind.I find myself thinking a lot about Morticia thought most days. I see a lot of her in her babies. When Doctor is sleeping if I pick him up he just purrs and continues to sleep, Mouse is a funny one. He likes to climb up my leg. and sit there. He starts purring immediately and just sits in my lap. Astrid wakes me up as early as three in the morning so that I will pet him. Morticia did that to me before she gave birth. I still miss her so much. Sometimes I swear she is here watching me. I will be outside in my yard, and I swear I can hear her running through the grass. Sometimes I swear that I can hear her meowing at me. I know I will never get over the fact that she is gone, but I feel like by now it should be easier.
I find myself staring off in the distance and that is when I just know she is with me. I will be thinking about her and I can hear her. At least that is what tit feels like. It is hard to believe that she wasn't in any pain because it sure looked like it hurt. That is the thing that gets me the most, the last memory I have of her is her seizing as the blood pooled in her stomach. And 24 hours before that she was yowling. Though I admit three days before she died we were having a good time. She was outside with her kittens in the sun watching them play. She was teaching them to hunt.. One of the things I struggle with is the fact that she wont be here to teach them to do certain things. I mean I know they will learn it them selves, But I was so happy that they were going to have someone to teach them.
Grieving will always take its own time, but for you her kittens can be both a reminder of her life and of her death so a constant reminder. This is an extra thing for your mind and your emotions to work through and find meaning for. I hope that positive thoughts and memories become more frequent for you and that the pain of loosing Morticia becomes lessened as days and weeks pass. I think many people experience hearing and even seeing those they have lost, and for me I have these experiences now, some years later but they are rare and not sad at all. In some ways they are a comfort, that for me my 'girls' are still with me in some way - their tails occasionally swishing past my bed as I wake up from sleep, or walking out of a part open door that I can see from the corner of my eye. You are caring for Morticia's kittens and that is the most precious bond to share.
Thank you. It really is the hardest thing. I never would have thought that I would have to say good by to her so soon. They are growing up to be just like her, I am happy to say.
I know that this thread has been up a month, but I wanted to express my sincerest condolences to you. Losing a pet is hard enough, but losing them unexpectedly, especially so young, can in some ways be even harder- you just don't see it. It comes out of no-where. I can't believe something like this could happen. I almost lost my little girl at 2 years due to a mysterious illness (it was found to be a blood clot in her stomach), and knowing she was in pain and feeling helpless to stop it was one of the worst emotions I've ever experienced. I wish her little ones all the best as they grow up.