NEED OPINIONS - Let Blacky out or Force in house

[msaimee]

I don't think it matters whether you let her out in the AM or at night. She will easily return to her pre-confinement routine when released.

As long as she is eating, it's safe to release her. She knows you are her caregiver and will return to you for food, shelter, and friendship. She may very well choose a life inside with you later on when winter comes. Right now, you are her captor, and she is stressed.

Have you checked out the resources available through "Alley Cats" online? They are vocal advocates and educators as far as ferals are concerned.  They have a wealth of information.

There is a very old, corny, clichéd saying that I hesitate to post, but will do so anyway.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, its yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be."

 

[rachelinaz]

Best of luck to both you and Blackie. I hope she continues to eat. I am curious to see what the experts say.

Thanks Catwoman and Shadowsrescue for taking the time to write. After I read the replies from the first one, I rushed down stirs and go the Cat Chow she used to like and put a 1/4 of a cup beside the box.    I just looked out the kitchen window again (about 20 minutes after leaving the dry food) and she is on the couch grooming herself. 

I think it is best to wait until morning to see what she actually ate.  It is a good sign though that she is on the couch where her mat is now and grooming herself. 

In the morning, if she ate all the food, do you still think I should let her out? 

 

[feline03]

 
I don't think it matters whether you let her out in the AM or at night. She will easily return to her pre-confinement routine when released.

As long as she is eating, it's safe to release her. She knows you are her caregiver and will return to you for food, shelter, and friendship. She may very well choose a life inside with you later on when winter comes. Right now, you are her captor, and she is stressed.

Have you checked out the resources available through "Alley Cats" online? They are vocal advocates and educators as far as ferals are concerned.  They have a wealth of information.

There is a very old, corny, clichéd saying that I hesitate to post, but will do so anyway.

"If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, its yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be."

Hi Ms Aimee, 

It is morning and she ate everything.  She was out when I looked crying at the door.  When I went out to feed her she ran in the box again.  I know now that it is not fair to  keep her on the porch so I will see if she eats anymore before I leave for work and even if she didn't, I will set her free. 

That cliche'd is is true.  Even though I am crying as a write this, I know what I have to do.  Hopefully she will come back for food.  Will keep you posted.  Cross your fingers and say a prayer for her.

Thanks to everyone. 

 

[catsallaround]

Hugs to you.

So glad she ate a full meal!  I would place a bowl of dry food right at the door step on the outside so she smells it on her way out.  

 

[shadowsrescue]

You have done so much for her.  Leave some dry food right by the breeze way and make sure it is propped open a bit so she can come back in if she wants.  She may want to use the breezeway when it rains or even for sleeping.  Just be sure she does have shelter and plenty of fresh food and water.

I know how terribly hard this is.  Yet, you can still work with her outside.  When she comes back and you feed her, spend some time with her.  You never know what will happen.  I have 2 ferals who live outside year round.  They have shelter on my deck and have plenty of food/water.  They both will come inside the house for brief brief visits as long as the door is open.  Yet, being in the house is not an option for them at this time.  I have worked with them both and I can pet them.  One I can pick up.  They both like to be brushed. 

You are in my thoughts today.  I am so hoping the best for Blackie.  She may very well surprise you and decide she really liked the breezeway!

Keep us updated.

 

[ondine]

Vibes that she does return.  I have a feeling she understands you wanted to help but was unable to accept it.  Hopefully, she returns for food and any shelter you can set up for her.

You did a good job, even though it didn't work out the way you expected.

 

[msaimee]

I know this is painful for you. I cried buckets when I decided to release my feral, Muffin. I hope and pray that Blackie will return for food and that you can socialize her over time, on her terms.  Leave food just outside of the breezeway so she's not afraid of being trapped again, or leave bowls both inside and outside of the breezeway. Don't panic if she doesn't return for a few days--chances are that others have fed her in the past, and she may head their way. She's not going to allow herself to starve to death--cats are too smart for that. Please keep us updated. You have done a lot for her, and I'm sure she intuitively knows this. Loving a feral is very difficult, because they are so strong-willed and we often have no control over them. They will never be our "pets" in the traditional sense, but they can be our friends.

 

[catwoman707]

 
Hi Ms Aimee, 

It is morning and she ate everything.  She was out when I looked crying at the door.  When I went out to feed her she ran in the box again.  I know now that it is not fair to  keep her on the porch so I will see if she eats anymore before I leave for work and even if she didn't, I will set her free. 

That cliche'd is is true.  Even though I am crying as a write this, I know what I have to do.  Hopefully she will come back for food.  Will keep you posted.  Cross your fingers and say a prayer for her.

Thanks to everyone. 

I truly believe this is the right decision you have made! I know as well as others here helping you with this, just how you are feeling now. Promise....

On the bright side, it is VERY possible you will get further in a relationship with her while outside in her own element of comfort than while stuck in yours.

She may very well be much less resistant now, or at least soon/near future.

PLEASE don't worry if she is away for a period, it's been a long time since she's been out, so you may not see her around right away, but despite her memory of captivity, the food factor and knowing it's with you will most definitely bring her back

I think you will soon feel you DID make the right choice for her.

 

[rachelinaz]

((((Hugs and good wishes)))))

 

[feline03]

 
You have done so much for her.  Leave some dry food right by the breeze way and make sure it is propped open a bit so she can come back in if she wants.  She may want to use the breezeway when it rains or even for sleeping.  Just be sure she does have shelter and plenty of fresh food and water.

I know how terribly hard this is.  Yet, you can still work with her outside.  When she comes back and you feed her, spend some time with her.  You never know what will happen.  I have 2 ferals who live outside year round.  They have shelter on my deck and have plenty of food/water.  They both will come inside the house for brief brief visits as long as the door is open.  Yet, being in the house is not an option for them at this time.  I have worked with them both and I can pet them.  One I can pick up.  They both like to be brushed. 

You are in my thoughts today.  I am so hoping the best for Blackie.  She may very well surprise you and decide she really liked the breezeway!

Keep us updated.

 
I know this is painful for you. I cried buckets when I decided to release my feral, Muffin. I hope and pray that Blackie will return for food and that you can socialize her over time, on her terms.  Leave food just outside of the breezeway so she's not afraid of being trapped again, or leave bowls both inside and outside of the breezeway. Don't panic if she doesn't return for a few days--chances are that others have fed her in the past, and she may head their way. She's not going to allow herself to starve to death--cats are too smart for that. Please keep us updated. You have done a lot for her, and I'm sure she intuitively knows this. Loving a feral is very difficult, because they are so strong-willed and we often have no control over them. They will never be our "pets" in the traditional sense, but they can be our friends.

Hi All,

I wrote this in the AM but couldn't post it at work:

She is free now but it killed me to do it.   When I tipped the box to get her out she ran across the room and stopped at the open door for a few seconds.   I expected her to run like a bat out of hell but she really didn’t.   She went over to a bush at the side of the house and sniffed it and then went to an abandoned house next to me.   There was an opening and she went in that house.   I am concerned because the house has mold in it but there is nothing I can do about that.   She did look back at me a couple of times and I told her I would still feed her.   Who knows if they understand or not.  

 I feel like I did when my Buddy died.   Looking at her stuff on the porch made me cry and I am sick to my stomach.    Hopefully, God will help me take care of her.

Unfortunately, leaving the back door open is not an option.   My house was robbed last February and I had a tremendous loss so I am not comfortable doing that as they broke in that door and the kitchen door kicking them in.   I think there is an excellent chance she will come back to me to eat and I will still feed her and try to befriend outside as before.   I did leave some dry food a little ways from the steps for her today and will check if it is gone when I come home (not to say she ate it though if it’s gone).

I will think about a cat door in the winter if she warms up.

Honestly, I don’t know if I will try this again.   It broke my heart that I failed.   If I want another cat, I’ll go to the shelter and get one.  

Will keep in touch.   Thanks to everyone who wrote.   Hopefully, this will have a happy ending.

NOW - At around 7:30

I got home from work at 6pm and no sign of Blacky.  I called and called but she didn't come.  Around 7:30 I went out to put some trash out and low in behold THERE SHE WAS 

I left the door open and went in the house to get some food and put it on the top step and went back in the house . She went up to it but then back in the yead.  I moved the dish closer to her and she came and ate it.  I then got some water and she backed off again.  I went back on the porch and then into the house and closed the porch door and she went back to eating.  THANK YOU GOD. 

I know now that she'll keep returning for food anyway. 

I think she will be the only feral I try to do this with.  I am done.  I can't take the stress of it.  That is the way I think now anyway.  I hope she stays healthy and when winter comes she can have shelter on the breezeway again from the elements if she chooses.  For the meantime I am going to clean and disinfect and let my cats enjoy for the summer. 

Thanks to all who took the time to write to me.  It helped a lot.  I have never dealt with a feral before.  

Hugs and kisses to  you all, especially Shadowsrescue, Ms. Aimee, Catwoman and Ondine.  I see you reply and help a lot on this site and God bless you for that.  Keep up the good work.  I don't know where us Rookies would be without you. You're amazing.     I'll post updates on Blacky and any concerns I have. 

Thanks again.

 

[catwoman707]

I am so darn happy to read your latest, smiling for you! For Blacky too )
Very heartwarming to hear she is there and not afraid to come near to eat.

Never underestimate how much cats comprehend, while they don't understand our words, they hear your voice, tone, your body movements, etc and I believe DO understand much more than we really know.

I also think it's clear to her, you never meant harm for her, she may not really understand why the extended stay, and despite that she did not come around to you at all really, she was still able to become familiar with you and your lack of threat to her.

Great job, and I feel confident this is only the beginning of a long term friendship, even if it is from a distance, at least for now.

I have many ferals I care for who I will likely never be able to get within their space limits, but we have a great bond of trust and adoration just the same.
They feel my love for them, all of them do

 

[feline03]

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[msaimee]

I'm really happy that Blacky came back to eat--I just knew she would! Are you going to leave the breezeway door open for her when your other cats aren't on it? It would be interesting to see if she would want to return there on her own for visits.

You didn't fail at all. I know I felt the same way when I released Muffin back outside.  At least Blacky is spayed. She will stay close to home now and not wander or attract male cats to your house. I think you have a chance of her becoming comfortable with you and going back into your breezeway in the winter time, and maybe she'll even come into your house some day. As long as she knows you will open the door for her if she wants to go outside. You have not failed at all.

I think our ferals choose us, we don't choose them. Yeah, it all begins when we see their sad eyes and put down that first bowl of food, but I think they plan even that, lol. You love her, despite the pain of this ordeal, so she really is your feral cat now. It's very stressful caring for a feral who won't come inside. I've been getting up at daybreak every day for almost 3 years to feed Muffin. I sometimes think my life would be easier if he were gone. But then when I think of never sitting beside him on my porch again, my eyes tear up. I feel overwhelmed caring for one feral--I'm amazed at the fortitude of people like Shadowsrescue who care for multiple ones on a regular basis. I guess we do it because we form a deep spiritual bond with these animals, the way you have with Blacky already.

Keep us updated. I will wonder about your Blacky for quite a while.

I just saw your pictures of her. She is beautiful!

 

[ondine]

Oh, this is wonderful news.  You will soon be back in a routine.  She is a beautiful cat.

 

[shadowsrescue]

Just checking in to see how you are doing and how Blacky is adjusting to outside life?  Hope all is well.

 

[feline03]

 
Just checking in to see how you are doing and how Blacky is adjusting to outside life?  Hope all is well.

Hi ShadowsRescue,

Thanks for checking in.  Yesterday, Tom (my boyfriend) and I were cleaning off the breezeway most of the day.  Blacky stayed in my yard all day and night .  She would sit on the picnic table or come up to the stairs.  Go figure.  Maybe she thinks this is her yard now . Hopefully.  It was nice because I knew where and what she was doing.  At one point, I was sitting on the breezeway and she was meowing.  I think she wants my company.  I went out to give her treats throughout the day and sat a little with her  She stays about 4 feet away from me but her behavior is like a house cat; rubbing up against things and rolling over on the ground.  I think she is happy.  I did put her old house out back where it was over the winter but she's not using it.  I also made a temporary feeding station for her putting a board cross the top of two cinder blocks for now in case it is raining so I can leave the food out.  It is about 9 am this morning and haven't seen her yet but I put some dry food out for her when she comes.  I don't really like leaving food out because I want to know SHE eats it and not something else.  Yes, I guess she is my feral cat now.  She chose to be.  My cats are enjoying being out  on the breezeway now.  She can have it in the winter if she chooses.  I almost think she kind of regrets not staying with me but who knows what they think.  She was out in the yard on the picnic table or on the steps until dark.  I think she stayed close because I was in sight for her.  Good sign. 

 

[msaimee]

Is there any chance you would consider leaving the door to the breezeway open for Blacky? Would your other cats get out? The best way to socialize her to you and your other cats would be for her to join you all on the breezeway, but not be trapped in there.  Your cats have already been exposed to her and know her. If she befriended them, then she might very well want to come inside with you some day, at least sometimes. And you're right, she's your feral cat now. I hope you're at peace now and know that you made the right decision

 

[shadowsrescue]

 

 
Just checking in to see how you are doing and how Blacky is adjusting to outside life?  Hope all is well.

Hi ShadowsRescue,

Thanks for checking in.  Yesterday, Tom (my boyfriend) and I were cleaning off the breezeway most of the day.  Blacky stayed in my yard all day and night .  She would sit on the picnic table or come up to the stairs.  Go figure.  Maybe she thinks this is her yard now . Hopefully.  It was nice because I knew where and what she was doing.  At one point, I was sitting on the breezeway and she was meowing.  I think she wants my company.  I went out to give her treats throughout the day and sat a little with her  She stays about 4 feet away from me but her behavior is like a house cat; rubbing up against things and rolling over on the ground.  I think she is happy.  I did put her old house out back where it was over the winter but she's not using it.  I also made a temporary feeding station for her putting a board cross the top of two cinder blocks for now in case it is raining so I can leave the food out.  It is about 9 am this morning and haven't seen her yet but I put some dry food out for her when she comes.  I don't really like leaving food out because I want to know SHE eats it and not something else.  Yes, I guess she is my feral cat now.  She chose to be.  My cats are enjoying being out  on the breezeway now.  She can have it in the winter if she chooses.  I almost think she kind of regrets not staying with me but who knows what they think.  She was out in the yard on the picnic table or on the steps until dark.  I think she stayed close because I was in sight for her.  Good sign. 

Blacky does sound very happy and content.  Just because she is outside doesn't mean you still can't try to socialize her.  Going outside to sit with her, trying to play with her and just enjoying some time with her will really help her feel safe.  Maybe your boyfriend could help you put in a cat door so she could come onto the breezeway during the night if she wants or needs shelter.  You could close the cat door when you are out there with your cats. 

Keep us updated.  It's nice to know that Blacky is sticking close to home and seems very happy!!

 

[feline03]

 
Blacky does sound very happy and content.  Just because she is outside doesn't mean you still can't try to socialize her.  Going outside to sit with her, trying to play with her and just enjoying some time with her will really help her feel safe.  Maybe your boyfriend could help you put in a cat door so she could come onto the breezeway during the night if she wants or needs shelter.  You could close the cat door when you are out there with your cats. 

Keep us updated.  It's nice to know that Blacky is sticking close to home and seems very happy!!

Hi ShadowsRescue,

She may be happy but I worry about her.  I leave food out in the AM even if she is not there and it is gone when I get home.  I didn't get home until 9:30pm so she missed her supper but when I called her she came so she is near by.  I think she is staying in that empty house.  My only worry is that it has mold in it.  Do you know if cats are affected by mold?  Also, I set up a temporary feeding place for her a little bit from the stairs.  Should I feed her on the stairs near the breezeway door?  She is not using her house.  I put two blankets she used to sleep on in it and she dragged one of them out.  I am putting treats near the opening to entice her to sleep in it.  I am not comfortable with letting her in the breezeway while my cats are using it.  She can pick up things outside and I am not going to compromise their health in any way.  She can have the breezeway in the winter for shelter if she comes in it again but don't know she will.  I can  let her in and out too.  If she does use it then I can put a cat door for her to go in and out.  Tell me, do you ever stop worrying about them?  I try not to but can't help it.

 

[feline03]

 
Is there any chance you would consider leaving the door to the breezeway open for Blacky? Would your other cats get out? The best way to socialize her to you and your other cats would be for her to join you all on the breezeway, but not be trapped in there.  Your cats have already been exposed to her and know her. If she befriended them, then she might very well want to come inside with you some day, at least sometimes. And you're right, she's your feral cat now. I hope you're at peace now and know that you made the right decision

Hi MsAimee,

I hope you are right about being the right decision.  I some how feel I should have maybe given it a little more time.  You can read my post on letting her in below to ShadowsRescue.  Before I disinfected and cleaned the breezeway, I did leave the door all the way open a couple of days but wanted no part of it.  At least I know she is nearby.  Any suggestions about me questions to ShadowsRescue?  Thanks.