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- Jan 30, 2005
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Originally Posted by LDG
I'm going to be 48 (I think LOL) in a month, and I cannot begin to imagine caring for a baby.
I don't know that what they're doing is selfish, though personally, I can't relate to it at all. I've never felt any strong urge to have a child and though I love Gary dearly, his gene pool in particular is a real crap shoot. I'm with Marianne and Mariya on this one. We adopted a daughter, and weren't even planning on that one. If they want kids, fine. But to go so far as to use a surrogate - when there are so many children that already need homes?I can't wrap my mind around that one, though I'm not sure it's selfish. To me it's just weird.
These two closely resemble my thoughts...Originally Posted by NorthernGlow
This is my main concern. It's not really the age, unless it affects the parents' ability to take care of the child or the health of the child, but the fact that people just want to reproduce without sparing a minute of their time wondering what their child would be like. I can't think of a more selfish thing to do than have a child just because you want and can. If i could have chosen, i wouldn't have been born.
It's one of the reasons why I will never have kids, I don't want them to have these crappy genes just because I want a kid. For example I just watched this documentary last night about a girl who had disfigured face and limbs because of some disease. She went to meet other people with the same condition and there was this man who had a son, both of them had the disease. I wonder if the child liked being bullied at school, stared at, and very unlikely to ever get a girlfriend, just because his daddy wanted a kid at any cost.
I also know people who just had to have kids, and knowingly passed on a serious disease which will be (and is) affecting the (now grown up) childrens lives. It runs in the family, every generation as far as they know.
Realize ,I was adopted ( birth mother was likely a mid to upper teen not sure as she is dead now with 99% certainty... I was told by my Mom she was young too young to have me)..... My Mom was 36 when I was born my dad 42... Moms only child , Dads third girl.... I was raised by Mom as Dad ran off with someone else... My grandma was 70 when I was born and did most of the raising ( THANK YOU GOD for that Small favor)
At 12 I was the main caregiver for my Grandma ...... At 22 Moms COPD was to the point of Oxygen, thus at 23 I moved back to Mom to care for her ... At 30 she died .... That detour turned school into multiple jobs I could work while caring for her...
My life was definitely not horrible but I would not wish it on any one ... But I will say when talking with folks my age I go really ... I spent my youth caring for my ailing "parents" .... Luckily ,I decided no kids ( had 50% decided no kids prior to)at 23 I was diagnosed with COPD and at 26 with a immune disorder that between the 2 if I see 40 it will be a miracle ... I would not for a milli second consider bringing a child into my world with my genes .... I adopted instead a house full of furry kids with poop English skills....