My friend's biological clock!

[swampwitch]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

...
When a woman hits the age of menopause, she's too old to have kids! Period!

I don't care if the woman can run circles around someone 25 years old. She's still too old to have kids! I'm thinking of the kids, not the woman. It's grossly unfair to the child who will be in the prime of their life when they should be concentrating on college and starting a career, not worrying about a Mother who is in her 70's and likely dependent on him/her for living/care.

My friend having a baby at the age of 49 years old, and contemplating another when she's nearly 51 years old, is purely selfish. I don't care if others disagree with me. It's selfish and places a huge burden on the children she brings into this world....all to satisfy her driving need to have a child. She should have thought of that 15 years ago, not when she's nearly 50 years old!

Linda, you have just adopted 2 kittens, in addition to your current cat. You are about your friend's age, single, and have recently faced a major health issue; I am not crossing any lines here since you have openly posted about these things on this forum. Some people might be judging you; they might wonder if you have the financial resources to take care of 3 cats. Some might think it is selfish of you to adopt 2 kittens at this point in your life.

But you know what? It's absolutely nobody else's business but yours! You are going to take good care of them and love them, and they will bring you much joy. Nobody should judge you or say a word you when you are going to do all of that.

It's the exact same thing with your friend. She has found joy in a child in her life, and wanted you to share in her happiness. It's sad that you wrote that your friend wants another child and you secretly hope she doesn't get her heart's desire <-that's what it is. Why would someone wish that.

I wonder if your friend is posting about people who have too many cats, in some parenting forum, lol.

 

[spudsmom]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

32 is a whole different thing than 49 or 51!

When a woman hits the age of menopause, she's too old to have kids! Period!

I don't care if the woman can run circles around someone 25 years old. She's still too old to have kids! I'm thinking of the kids, not the woman. It's grossly unfair to the child who will be in the prime of their life when they should be concentrating on college and starting a career, not worrying about a Mother who is in her 70's and likely dependent on him/her for living/care.

My friend having a baby at the age of 49 years old, and contemplating another when she's nearly 51 years old, is purely selfish. I don't care if others disagree with me. It's selfish and places a huge burden on the children she brings into this world....all to satisfy her driving need to have a child. She should have thought of that 15 years ago, not when she's nearly 50 years old!

My gut response was to anyone deciding whether anyone else is capable of having a child regardless of their age or the capabilities of their body. I've just heard enough opinions (ignorant ones at that) regarding my daughter and daughter-in-law having a baby. I'm beyond childbearing age, but if anything happened to my girls, I would totally be ready, willing, and ABLE to raise that boy. A well planned well loved child trumps everything, including
parents age and/or sexuality. I had my daughter when I was a teenager and by the grace of God she turned out to be a really awesome, smart person and I didn't manage to "harm" her by being so young and clueless!

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Linda, you have just adopted 2 kittens, in addition to your current cat. You are about your friend's age, single, and have recently faced a major health issue; I am not crossing any lines here since you have openly posted about these things on this forum. Some people might be judging you; they might wonder if you have the financial resources to take care of 3 cats. Some might think it is selfish of you to adopt 2 kittens at this point in your life.

But you know what? It's absolutely nobody else's business but yours! You are going to take good care of them and love them, and they will bring you much joy. Nobody should judge you or say a word you when you are going to do all of that.

It's the exact same thing with your friend. She has found joy in a child in her life, and wanted you to share in her happiness. It's sad that you wrote that your friend wants another child and you secretly hope she doesn't get her heart's desire <-that's what it is. Why would someone wish that.

I wonder if your friend is posting about people who have too many cats, in some parenting forum, lol.

Well said. I referred to that in a way when I said people would be up in arms if shelters refused to adopt to people of a certain age.

And, on the menopause issue, many, many women got pregnant when they were starting menopause back in the days before birth control. In fact, my best friend when I was growing up was just such a baby. Her niece was one year older than she was. God didn't seem to have a problem allowing them to get pregnant so why should we, unless we think we know more than God.

 

[lady rowan]

I hate to bring up this topic for fear it will get out of control and come crashing down upon me

but, a cat typically lives a lot less of lifespan than a human child does.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Lady Rowan

I hate to bring up this topic for fear it will get out of control and come crashing down upon me

but, a cat typically lives a lot less of lifespan than a human child does.

Cats can and do live into their early 20's so according to one poster who said 69 was the average age (which I don't believe is so but I won't go there), then anyone over 49 should not be allowed to adopt a cat just in case it should live that long. Hmmmmm . . .

 

[ut0pia]

Many of us here on TCS talk so much about what will happen to our furbabies if something happens to us and we die...most of us have a plan, I've seen so many threads about it lately!
Maybe Linda's friend also has this well thought out plan, that involves a really close person that will have custody of the children, and a billion dollar life insurance policy that will go to them, or something....

 

[threecatowner]

Originally Posted by SwampWitch

I wonder if your friend is posting about people who have too many cats, in some parenting forum, lol.

Oh, my gosh, SwampWitch! I couldn't help it, it made me laugh!

 

[cococat]

Originally Posted by threecatowner

Oh, my gosh, SwampWitch! I couldn't help it, it made me laugh!

I missed that! Hilarious!

 

[lady rowan]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

Cats can and do live into their early 20's so according to one poster who said 69 was the average age (which I don't believe is so but I won't go there), then anyone over 49 should not be allowed to adopt a cat just in case it should live that long. Hmmmmm . . .

My point was yes, some freak accident could happen or we could all get sick and die suddenly, but there is more of a chance of a pet dying wayyyyy sooner than a human. (unless you have a bird or turtle

)

I don't truly believe the thing about average lifespan of women being 69, or however it was put, either.

 

[natalie_ca]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

Maybe Linda's friend also has this well thought out plan, that involves a really close person that will have custody of the children, and a billion dollar life insurance policy that will go to them, or something....

Not that I know of. She's an only child. Her mother is mentally ill and refusing treatment, and her father is dead. His parents are also dead and he's an only child too.

I'm sure she has God parents in place though.

But I still feel 50 is too old to be bringing children into this world.

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Not that I know of. She's an only child. Her mother is mentally ill and refusing treatment, and her father is dead. His parents are also dead and he's an only child too.

I'm sure she has God parents in place though.

But I still feel 50 is too old to be bringing children into this world.

I've known people that shouldn't bring children into the world at any age but that never stopped them. Those poor children had a life of hell. I'd much prefer a person like your friend having a child she truly wants and can support over those other parents.

Any parent can die at any age so that really is a moot point IMO.

 

[rosiemac]

I think ladies this is one of those subjects where you have to agree to disagree

 

[yosemite]

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

I think ladies this is one of those subjects where you have to agree to disagree

I fear you are right Susan.