Let's Babble Our Way to Post #4,000,000 And Win Prizes Too!

[tallyollyopia]

 
I don't know what that is. I just need to stay away from toxic people. Unfortunately I don't want to abandon my family because of something silly. So I put up with it. I envy those who are close to people they can trust. But there lies the issue. I don't trust these people. That's something I have to work on myself. I will be ok. I always am.

Its warm out and I hope all are having a great fathers day. I cant wait to go home.

The Pollyanna approach is where you look at something bad, something that depresses you, and find something good about it. Let's say, for example, you ate something that gave you diarrhea. Well, if you have diarrhea, then you're not constipated or dehydrated. Before my car got scrapped it had a tendency to break down a lot (and randomly) so I started packing non-refrigerated snacks and every time the car broke down I'd push it to the side of the road and have a picnic until help could come. So, while my car broke down, I also had a low-stress picnic, usually with a good book. Just stuff like that. I hope it helps.

 

[handsome kitty]

@Tallyollyopia   Still loving the story.  Keep it coming.

@foxxycat   Maybe the person you texted didn't have time to talk and just did a quick check to see if the text was urgent.  I do that all the time. 

 

[margd]

 
The Pollyanna approach is where you look at something bad, something that depresses you, and find something good about it. Let's say, for example, you ate something that gave you diarrhea. Well, if you have diarrhea, then you're not constipated or dehydrated. Before my car got scrapped it had a tendency to break down a lot (and randomly) so I started packing non-refrigerated snacks and every time the car broke down I'd push it to the side of the road and have a picnic until help could come. So, while my car broke down, I also had a low-stress picnic, usually with a good book. Just stuff like that. I hope it helps.

What you're calling the Pollyanna approach reminds me a lot of a self-help technique that gained popularity in the late 1990s.  Basically it involved making a concerted effort to find things to be grateful for everyday and keeping a journal about them.  There was a bestseller out called Simple Abundance that described the method.   Looking at Amazon, I see the book is no longer available but there are still a lot of journals out there. 

Looking for silver linings, or the best in every situation is a very mentally healthy thing to do and I don't want to sound like I'm knocking it, because I'm not.  My concern is that people in the grip of depression may need approaches that work a little deeper at the heart of the depression before they can find some relief.  Sometimes the pain is so severe that we can't see the silver linings, or they don't seem important or relevant. 

Anyway, I'm getting myself into a bit of a tangle here because I think your example with the broken down car is a terrific way to take control of a negative situation and make it better.  My usual way of responding to a broken down car was to sink into a black mood and think evil thoughts about cars, fate, myself, money, the guy at the garage who did a poor job, the tow truck driver....the pouring rain, etc. etc. 

 

[Mamanyt1953]

 
Zappos.com is a good place to buy shoes. You can search for a specific type of shoe and width and size and price, etc to narrow down what is available. Shipping is free and you typically get the order within two days. Returns and exchanges are easy.

I have no experience working in retail but I don't think it would be too hard

I assume there will be training on how to use the register and whatnot. If I have time today I'll stop by the pet store and inquire. Sundays are the quiet days since there's no grooming and few dogs in doggie day care. I'll pick up a few cans of food or more HT chubs while I'm there 

Yeah, what @foxxycat (huh...the @someonesname isn't working again.  How odd...at any rate, retail can cover a huge range of tasks, depending on the store.  But the main thing will be assisting customers.

I think I have my Office woes taken care of, thanks to Margret.  I'll go the the site she recommended and see if it will work for me.  Sounds like it will.  Still some concerns about OneNote, but I can, if forced to it, copy and paste, page by page, and dump it in Drop Box.  Dear lord...

 

[donutte]

I can absolutely guarantee the Pollyanna approach would not have worked for me when I was in the deepest depths of my depression in the late 1990s. It took a little cat coming into my life in the summer of 1999 (that I needed to carry around on a pillow for a few weeks because his poor little paws were torn up) to get me to the point where I started feeling my life had meaning. I had to take care of him, and so I needed to be here. Now perhaps the Pollyanna approach has kept me from getting to that depth after losing that little cat last November. I think I have to admit to myself that I'm some sort of depression now, but it's a tolerable one. I've even tried to see the good that has happened after losing my beloved pets. Pea-Pea came into our lives as a result. They are no longer suffering. Etc.

Anyway (oh the irony) I just gave Maple her Prozac. That was fun - NOT! Waiting for my friend to tell me she's left, and then we'll be heading to the city to go see Against Me! We're gonna go to a taco place across the street from the venue for dinner first. Praying to the parking gods that we will be able to find a parking spot.

 

[kisscat]

 
Two things: 1) I can't afford another pair of shoes. 2) No one in my area carries my shoe size. (The pair that I have, I had to go over three counties to get--and they fit when I got them. I'm not certain they still  fit, since I got them a couple years ago, but they fit when I got them.) Several shoe stores in my area have taken to hanging a sign in their window proclaiming they don't carry wide shoes. (I'm afraid I got a little testy with one sales associate who tried to cram my double E foot into a B wide shoe. This is a small town, so word travels fast.)

I can certainly relate. I wear a very uncommon size shoe and I cannot find shoes anywhere but online, and even there it's hard to find shoes. Ill fitted shoes wreak havoc on feet over the years, so you'd think stores could give a little more care to specialty sizes. :/

 

[segelkatt]

I cannot really relate to depression this deep. When I first lost my husband because he thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence I thought that life was not worth living. We won't get into into that but I did get over that eventually. I buried myself in my children and studies at the local community college, the routine is what kept me together. Eventually I enrolled in a local prestigious University with grants of all kinds, drawing welfare as I had no salable skills, lived on campus in a tiny apartment with my children and eventually graduated with honors.  Unfortunately, under today's laws and regulations this would not be possible today in this or any other state as I took 7 years all together to receive my degree which eventually put me into the position to get a decently paying job.  By then my children started to leave home and things were easier anyway.

The depression that some people feel is much more disabling than what I felt. I have always been an optimist so that probably helped. 

Clinical depression is a disease just like any other sickness. Let's not tell people who suffer from this to just snap out of it just like we would not tell somebody with an ulcer or migraines or cancer to "just snap out of it", let's let them know we are are there for them, ask what we can do for them, offer to visit or take them to a movie or out for dinner or to just visit without talk etc. That would be a lot more helpful than anything. I remember someone telling me when I was so depressed to tell me to "just not stay at home, do something, anything". So I did a lot of bar crawling (I was just 34) just so I would not have to stay at home alone once the kids were in bed (the oldest was old enough so I could leave them there), went home at a late hour, always alone,  and fell into bed once I got home. Anything so I just would not have to think.

Let's remember that depression is a sickness, not just a temporary feeling bad and sad.

 

[handsome kitty]

I can absolutely guarantee the Pollyanna approach would not have worked for me when I was in the deepest depths of my depression in the late 1990s. It took a little cat coming into my life in the summer of 1999 (that I needed to carry around on a pillow for a few weeks because his poor little paws were torn up) to get me to the point where I started feeling my life had meaning. I had to take care of him, and so I needed to be here. Now perhaps the Pollyanna approach has kept me from getting to that depth after losing that little cat last November. I think I have to admit to myself that I'm some sort of depression now, but it's a tolerable one. I've even tried to see the good that has happened after losing my beloved pets. Pea-Pea came into our lives as a result. They are no longer suffering. Etc.

Anyway (oh the irony) I just gave Maple her Prozac. That was fun - NOT! Waiting for my friend to tell me she's left, and then we'll be heading to the city to go see Against Me! We're gonna go to a taco place across the street from the venue for dinner first. Praying to the parking gods that we will be able to find a parking spot.

Forget the Parking Gods.  You need Finnegan the Lucky Leprechaun!  I used to work near Wrigley Field before the lights.  When the games let out there was no way we were getting on the buses because they were too full.   On those days we went to the bar across the street and had dinner and a few beers.

 

[kittens mom]

Someone said the Zappo word.  I think it's shoestore.com has great deals. My husbands work got discounts on the Nike ? time and a half shoes. They held up for a couple years of hard wear.

 

[donutte]

We usually park by a cemetery on Clark. Of course, traffic is just awful. Hoping the cemetery parking is there at least. Last time even that was funny.

 

[margd]

We usually park by a cemetery on Clark. Of course, traffic is just awful. Hoping the cemetery parking is there at least. Last time even that was funny.

Taken completely out of context, this is quite an intriguing post! 

I hope you have a great time tonight.  

 

[donutte]

Omg, I didn't mean to type funny, I meant full! Just turned onto Clark, so packed by Wrigley! And thanks!

Hey we got the cemetery parking!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I absolutely cannot believe that it has taken me this long to think to post this question here!  I've evidently lost my mind entirely!

Several years ago, I read a wonderful article...or maybe saw a clip on tv...about Siegfried and Roy.   ey.Apparently, they had hired an assistant who was a natural cat whisperer.  When the tigers met him, they all went gooey on him...rubbing, purring, rolling over and exposing their bellies for rubs...finally they figured out it was his cologne, and that it affected ALL cats that way.  I can't for the life of me remember the name of the cologne, but it was one of those that were "for men" or "for women."  I want to get a small bottle for Hekitty.  I tried to google it, but could never get the right search parameters.  Anybody have a clue what it might have been?

 

[rhondalee]

Holy smokes! I don't babble for a day and I have almost 100 posts that I missed. I'll have to catch up later. Hope everyone is doing great.

 

[handsome kitty]

 
I absolutely cannot believe that it has taken me this long to think to post this question here!  I've evidently lost my mind entirely!

Several years ago, I read a wonderful article...or maybe saw a clip on tv...about Siegfried and Roy.   ey.Apparently, they had hired an assistant who was a natural cat whisperer.  When the tigers met him, they all went gooey on him...rubbing, purring, rolling over and exposing their bellies for rubs...finally they figured out it was his cologne, and that it affected ALL cats that way.  I can't for the life of me remember the name of the cologne, but it was one of those that were "for men" or "for women."  I want to get a small bottle for Hekitty.  I tried to google it, but could never get the right search parameters.  Anybody have a clue what it might have been?

You could email or post on Jackson Galaxy's website.  Maybe he knows . . . unless that's the secret behind his success.

 

[kittens mom]

 
You could email or post on Jackson Galaxy's website.  Maybe he knows . . . unless that's the secret behind his success.

His secret to success is being able to look at cat owners who haven't got a clue and be a nice person when they are threatening to get rid of the kitty.

http://www.utne.com/environment/wild-cats-go-crazy-for-calvin-kleins-obsession.aspx

 

[tallyollyopia]

 
@Tallyollyopia   Still loving the story.  Keep it coming.

@foxxycat   Maybe the person you texted didn't have time to talk and just did a quick check to see if the text was urgent.  I do that all the time. 

Thank you. 

It's still a work in progress though, just thought I'd mention it. 

 
What you're calling the Pollyanna approach reminds me a lot of a self-help technique that gained popularity in the late 1990s.  Basically it involved making a concerted effort to find things to be grateful for everyday and keeping a journal about them.  There was a bestseller out called Simple Abundance that described the method.   Looking at Amazon, I see the book is no longer available but there are still a lot of journals out there. 

Looking for silver linings, or the best in every situation is a very mentally healthy thing to do and I don't want to sound like I'm knocking it, because I'm not.  My concern is that people in the grip of depression may need approaches that work a little deeper at the heart of the depression before they can find some relief.  Sometimes the pain is so severe that we can't see the silver linings, or they don't seem important or relevant. 

Anyway, I'm getting myself into a bit of a tangle here because I think your example with the broken down car is a terrific way to take control of a negative situation and make it better.  My usual way of responding to a broken down car was to sink into a black mood and think evil thoughts about cars, fate, myself, money, the guy at the garage who did a poor job, the tow truck driver....the pouring rain, etc. etc. 

It took a long time (almost four years) to actually change the way I thought with that--and it wasn't a doctor that prescribed it. See, I was taken to this shrink (hack) who decided that of course  I needed medication--and combinations of it. There was point where I was on both Ritalin and Prozac at the same time (by the same shrink). Not surprisingly, the medicine made me really ill and AWM decided that it would be easier for me to change the way I think than find a psychiatrist who was actually interested in treating  me. (I was a small child at the time.)

 
I can certainly relate. I wear a very uncommon size shoe and I cannot find shoes anywhere but online, and even there it's hard to find shoes. Ill fitted shoes wreak havoc on feet over the years, so you'd think stores could give a little more care to specialty sizes. :/

See, here's the problem with buying shoes online for me (because I've tried it)--the sites the shoes are from aren't always the sizes they say. My nine and half EE in women's translates to an eight wide men's--and the site I bought them from sent me a pair of shoes that couldn't have been more than six men's narrow. (The tags said the right sizes, but they lied.) It's best to just try them on--if it's possible to find stores that actually carry  the shoes.) We used to have a store here, Leverettes, that specialized in carrying the odd sizes, and they used to carry my shoe size--until the old management died and new management decided it was easier to go with common sizes. 

 (I take comfort in the fact that the store has lost more than half its custom since the policy changed.)

 
I cannot really relate to depression this deep. When I first lost my husband because he thought the grass was greener on the other side of the fence I thought that life was not worth living. We won't get into into that but I did get over that eventually. I buried myself in my children and studies at the local community college, the routine is what kept me together. Eventually I enrolled in a local prestigious University with grants of all kinds, drawing welfare as I had no salable skills, lived on campus in a tiny apartment with my children and eventually graduated with honors.  Unfortunately, under today's laws and regulations this would not be possible today in this or any other state as I took 7 years all together to receive my degree which eventually put me into the position to get a decently paying job.  By then my children started to leave home and things were easier anyway.

The depression that some people feel is much more disabling than what I felt. I have always been an optimist so that probably helped. 

Clinical depression is a disease just like any other sickness. Let's not tell people who suffer from this to just snap out of it just like we would not tell somebody with an ulcer or migraines or cancer to "just snap out of it", let's let them know we are are there for them, ask what we can do for them, offer to visit or take them to a movie or out for dinner or to just visit without talk etc. That would be a lot more helpful than anything. I remember someone telling me when I was so depressed to tell me to "just not stay at home, do something, anything". So I did a lot of bar crawling (I was just 34) just so I would not have to stay at home alone once the kids were in bed (the oldest was old enough so I could leave them there), went home at a late hour, always alone,  and fell into bed once I got home. Anything so I just would not have to think.

Let's remember that depression is a sickness, not just a temporary feeling bad and sad.

I wouldn't dream of telling someone who's depressed to "just snap out of it". I heard that more than enough when I was depressed. Most clinical depression is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that can be difficult to balance out, assuming  the doctor in charge is interested in treating the patient instead of testing drug combination side effects. (Sorry for beating the dead horse--it's a sore topic for me.)

Congrats on being an optimist though! 

 

[mservant]

@Tallyollyopia   I am with you on the misery of aching feet.  I changed my work drastically a couple of years ago and now spend 4 days a week (plus an extra half day volunteering) standing, walking about, going up and down stairs working in retail.  I knew from the voluntary shop work I've done for several years that the worst thing would be aching feet but oh boy it is bad.  Some weeks are sort of OK but there are others when I feel my feet want to burn up.  I can't imagine getting through a day without gel and air insoles to ease the pressure and add support and I only ever work in pretty flat shoes which are a good to slightly on the large size fit so I can cope with if my feet get hot and swell up a bit.  I'm usually kept busy with lots of different things to do and wouldn't cope without the constant diversions.

@NewYork1303   I'm not sure how time zones work out with me being in the UK and want to get in best wishes for your marriage before you complete your vows.  I hope all goes well for your day and you enjoy every moment.  

 

[kisscat]

 
See, here's the problem with buying shoes online for me (because I've tried it)--the sites the shoes are from aren't always the sizes they say. My nine and half EE in women's translates to an eight wide men's--and the site I bought them from sent me a pair of shoes that couldn't have been more than six men's narrow. (The tags said the right sizes, but they lied.) It's best to just try them on--if it's possible to find stores that actually carry  the shoes.) We used to have a store here, Leverettes, that specialized in carrying the odd sizes, and they used to carry my shoe size--until the old management died and new management decided it was easier to go with common sizes. 

 (I take comfort in the fact that the store has lost more than half its custom since the policy changed.)

Oh most definitely. Even different shoes from the same brand don't have the same fit, so I will often end up sending pairs back, and for months or even a year I'll be trying to find just one pair that fits properly.

That's terrible that the store just stopped selling shoes like that! Makes me mad. Zappos Fitwell brand used to be amazing for me... Until they randomly stopped making my size and any sizes near it.

Seems there's just no reprieve for people needing specialty sizes. Of course, unless you can afford custom/designer shoes. (where's the eyerolling smiley when you need it? haha)

 

[segelkatt]

I don't understand all this fuss about aching feet. I am 73 years old, overweight by at least 50 lbs and have high arches. Twice a year I oversee a bake sale where I am on my feet for about 7 hours straight, the only time I sit down is when I go to the bathroom. I do have orthotics which were made for my feet about 15 years ago when I had heel spurs and which I put into my sneakers on those days. I also wear them when I oversee the munchies at the monthly gathering of the cat club. I wear them when I take a walk or work in my garden . Otherwise I walk around in my sock feet or flat soled shoes, my days of wearing heels are over. My feet do not swell and do not hurt, although sometimes my ankles hurt because I am subject to sprains. I do not use salt at all so maybe that is why my feet don't swell and I'm sure the orthotics keep my arches from falling and thus do not hurt. When I was much younger (and lighter) I wore Dr. Scholl's wooden sandals (wooden foot bed, a regular leather sole at the bottom and an adjustable strap across the top)  a lot and those had huge arch supports in them, I made my children wear those also and they don't have any foot problems either. Maybe that is why my feet don't hurt???