Sweetie, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for
this is precisely what this site excells at - being there for people who just need someone....anyone. To be honest, I'm thinking that your heart racing and the chest pain might be in conjunction with your grieving, some sort of anxiety in connection with the very deep emotions that you are experiencing right now. I get a tight chest and a fluttery feeling when I'm very very deeply upset too, but I have no heart problem. Usually I can get by it by sitting back and taking a few really deep breaths - in for a count of five, out for a count of five - until I feel it going again. It's the only time I experience this though. I agree with Kaylacat, there should be somewhere that you can go to help you while your budget is so strapped
Just keep in mind, no matter how dark things are, there's always someone with a lantern
Just keep in mind, no matter how dark things are, there's always someone with a lantern