I'm afraid my behavior may seem inappropriate since my father's death... I've been so far down, and I've tried so hard to find a way back up, and I was getting there, I was so excited about the Michael Buble concert tomorrow night... and today I went to the North Texas Irish Festival by myself for the first time -- it was something Papa and I always did together, so it was very intense, but it felt so right, to sing along with all those songs he loved... but some people don't get it, when I get emotional, they complain that I must not be taking enough antidepressants and they'll be glad when I get over it. I can't talk to them, and I've worn out my best friend, I just can't lay any more of this on him, he has troubles of his own... and I can't calm down, my heart races and my chest hurts, but I don't have insurance, so I can't even afford to go make sure I'm not having a heart attack...so what I'm saying is that I know I'm a mess, and if my posts lately have been bizarre, I hope you'll understand and forgive.