That was really great advice Heidi..............Originally Posted by valanhb
Katherine, this is going to sound so harsh, but...
You really need to totally distance yourself from Brendan for the time being. When you're talking to mutual friends, if they bring him up you have to tell them that you can't talk about that right now. It's a good plan to tell Eric not to tell you anything about what Brendan's doing, because it will set you back every time. Even if he is sulking over you, that will just feed into the Denial phase of the grief process. And really, you have to move on from Brendan. Either he will mature or he won't. Either he will see what a wonderful woman that you really or, or he won't. But none of that is in your control.
For your own mental well being, you have to concentrate on what you DO have control of - YOU! Concentrate on what you need to do to move forward. Think of things that YOU want, things that YOU want to try, that YOU enjoy doing. Then do those things, buy those things you want!!
You're really doing great! And that you realized that you can't keep hearing what Brendan is doing is a giant step forward.
And shes totally right.............
Also Katherine when you feel it getting too much for you......do something to let all that negative feelings and such out...When i would break up with someone...or when i got "Dumped" I used to make a quote book...........I would find the most beautifully sad quotes in songs and put them in a note book......As wierd as it sounds...it totally helped me....and it was a constructive way of dealing with my feelings......just an idea........