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I think most of us would agree that it's better not to contact him for a while, and you're right, nothing you hear is going to make you feel better right now. Keep hanging in there Katherine.
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I really need some support right now.
- Thread starter katspixiedust
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- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #142
Thank you so much. I really am trying to keep myself busy, but this rain has really hindered many of my plans and I've had more downtime these last couple of days than I would normally want to. Plus I had great plans for tomorrow, something taht would have gotten me away and outside but there's a 60% chance that it's going to rain tomorrow so the people I was going with canceled!!!!!!! I just feel like flipping out right now. I just want to scream and punch something. I really wish I had a punching bag at a time like this. This rain is really making it so much harder!!!! I think this is the first time I've felt like my anger/frustration was going to boil over. AHHHHHHHHHHHH.
I'm sorry to hear that katspixiedust, break ups are the hardest thing to go through. Cry/yell/scream/kick....let it out and deal w/your pain that way you know how. You'll both get through this. It's not going to happen over night, but one day you'll wake and say hey my heart doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t hurt as much anymore. Know ppl love you and support you. And maybe a little break for both of you will make your relationship stronger and will never go through this again. I wish you much luck hon.
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I recommend punching a pillow then. You know how pillows can be anyway, right? They deserve it! Those darn pillows have had it coming too long. Get'em!!!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #145
A few updates...I took some time to beat the daylights out of some pillows, and that definitely felt good. It relieved some of my frustration and anger, though I'm still feeling it a bit tonight. It just felt so good to release that out on something.
The next thing I wanted to share with you all is that I've decided to make an appointment at the on-campus counseling center. I'm a psych major and will be starting grad school for mental health counseling in the spring so I'm definitely an advocate of counseling services. I thought to myself, why wouldn't I take advantage of an opportunity for FREE counseling when it's available to me? It will give me a great outlet to release every bit of my emotions and I'm sure give me a greater understanding of exactly how I'm feeling. Also, it's always a good thing for someone who wants to be a counselor to experience it from the other end. I called after office hours though so I left a message. I'm kind of looking forward to it now.
Lastly, I've been making plans tonight! Brendan's roommate, who is also a friend of Tiffany and I (I think I mentioned him in an earlier post), invited both of us to a party tonight. He checked to make sure Brendan definitely wasn't going before sending out the invite to us, and since he's not going to be there Tiff and I have decided to go! I'm excited! This is my first party since this has happened and I have some CUTE new clothes to wear out. Tomorrow night my mom will be coming to stay the night with me, which is always nice. Saturday inbetween working at my two jobs my friend Jessica and I are going to be doing something and then Tiff and I have decided to head to Club Paris. That's right, I said CLUB PARIS as in Paris Hilton. We think it will be hysterical to check out her night club since neither of us has been. I heard it's all pink on the inside. But anyway, I'm just happy to have plans. It will feel good to let loose tonight and Saturday night, I know that!!
It means so much to me, seriously, to be able to let all of this out to you all. You've been so great and supportive so far.
The next thing I wanted to share with you all is that I've decided to make an appointment at the on-campus counseling center. I'm a psych major and will be starting grad school for mental health counseling in the spring so I'm definitely an advocate of counseling services. I thought to myself, why wouldn't I take advantage of an opportunity for FREE counseling when it's available to me? It will give me a great outlet to release every bit of my emotions and I'm sure give me a greater understanding of exactly how I'm feeling. Also, it's always a good thing for someone who wants to be a counselor to experience it from the other end. I called after office hours though so I left a message. I'm kind of looking forward to it now.
Lastly, I've been making plans tonight! Brendan's roommate, who is also a friend of Tiffany and I (I think I mentioned him in an earlier post), invited both of us to a party tonight. He checked to make sure Brendan definitely wasn't going before sending out the invite to us, and since he's not going to be there Tiff and I have decided to go! I'm excited! This is my first party since this has happened and I have some CUTE new clothes to wear out. Tomorrow night my mom will be coming to stay the night with me, which is always nice. Saturday inbetween working at my two jobs my friend Jessica and I are going to be doing something and then Tiff and I have decided to head to Club Paris. That's right, I said CLUB PARIS as in Paris Hilton. We think it will be hysterical to check out her night club since neither of us has been. I heard it's all pink on the inside. But anyway, I'm just happy to have plans. It will feel good to let loose tonight and Saturday night, I know that!!
It means so much to me, seriously, to be able to let all of this out to you all. You've been so great and supportive so far.
Katherine - you ARE getting there!!! Holy cow, you are really making great strides to get yourself right with the your world.
The counceling sounds like a really good idea. The parties sound like an even better idea! And it sounds like you and Tiff are going to have a blast at Club Paris!
The counceling sounds like a really good idea. The parties sound like an even better idea! And it sounds like you and Tiff are going to have a blast at Club Paris!
Oooooo! Sounds like you do have some good (and rain proof!) plans!
I think the counseling is a good idea. And as a professional, it will be good for you to relate to your clients in the future, even if they don't know that you do. I've noticed with some of my clients that even if they don't know the stuff I've gone through, thoes things help keep me compasionate towards them.
Hope you have tons of fun at the party and the club! (I'm sure you'll look HOT in all thoes new clothse!....
)
I think the counseling is a good idea. And as a professional, it will be good for you to relate to your clients in the future, even if they don't know that you do. I've noticed with some of my clients that even if they don't know the stuff I've gone through, thoes things help keep me compasionate towards them.
Hope you have tons of fun at the party and the club! (I'm sure you'll look HOT in all thoes new clothse!....
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Hey Katherine, it's good to hear that you're going to go out and have some fun this weekend and I'm glad you don't think you're too good for counselling being a psych major yourself. Keep us updated.
I'm so glad you're doing a bit better, and ready to get out and have some fun. I think the counselling is a great idea.
Have a great time this weekend! And we want to hear all about Club Paris.
Have a great time this weekend! And we want to hear all about Club Paris.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #151
Well now that the weekend is coming to a close I thought I'd share my fairly insane last few days with you all.
Thursday night Tiff and I went to that party I mentioned and had a BLAST. We really had such a great time and enjoyed ourselves fully. It was amazing to let loose like that. Unfortunately I only managed 4 hours of sleep that night because I woke up in the morning with anxiety and couldn't fall back to sleep. On Friday, after I had taken care of my responsibilities, my neighbor Josh asked me if I would be up for gong skimboarding with him, Derek, and Eric in some puddles along a golf course nearby (today is the first day it hasn't rained at some point for about 2 weeks now). I thought it sounded really random, but like something taht would be fun so I went. We skimboarded at the course for a while and then randomly made the decision to drive to the beach. Mind you, the closest beach to Orlando is Cocoa and that's about 45 minutes away. So, we randomly go to Cocoa and hang out there for a few hours. After getting back some time at night we decide to head to a movie (now it's me, Eric, Tiff, Josh, Derek, and Zack). Turns out the movie is sold out and as we start walking back to my car we realize that Brendan was there and had LITERALLY parked 2 spots away from me. My mood totally changed. I was angry and sad, all because of seeing his car. It just made me feel that pain of maybe never sitting in it next to him as his girlfriend again, and of course my mind jumped to, "Did he come with a girl?" Luckily my friends managed to cheer me up a bit later and we ended up watching Animal House. That night I only got in 3 hours of sleep and had to work at the center the next day. Saturday was TOTALLY crazy and I began to feel like I hadn't stopped for DAYS. I worked at the center, went to lunch with some friends, bought my halloween costume, and took a random road trip to Gainesville with Eric, Derek, Josh, and Tiff for one of the boys friends birthdays. So Tiff and I actually didn't go to Club Paris. We instead took this two hour drive with them, got there at 11pm and then came back to Orlando the same night, arriving at 630 this morning. It was a total blast but I really need some sleep!!!!! I have had so much fun hanging out with all of the guys. I haven't been spontaneous in so long that I had forgotten what a spontaneous person I can be. This weekend has truly been great.
Tiff and Eric both told me that they talked to Brendan today. Tiff really got into the details about it, but I didn't really ask Eric for any. It sounds like he's finally starting to share his feelings with others. He told Tiff that he had just lost his passion to be in a relationship, and to be with me...which sounds like what you guys were saying about unrealistic expectations on his part as far as how a relationship should be. But it just hurts to hear that someone isn't in love with you anymore. He told Tiff taht he's been crying a lot and getting sick. Apparently it's hard to not have me around because I was what always comforted him. He also said that he thinks we'll need to talk about things at some point because we'll need to be able to hang out with each other since we have so many mutual friends. I'm sticking to my guns though and not calling him. If he thinks we need to talk so badly then he needs to call me. At this point it's definitely clear to me that we won't be together for at least a veryyyyyyyyyy long time, if at all. At this point that pill is a little hard to swallow though. It's like it gets lodged somewhere in the middle of rational thought and actual acceptance.
It feels good to have gotten to tell someone about my crazy weekend and the way I'm feeling at the moment. My life just feels really crazy right now. Like I just don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. This is my current state of mind:
Thursday night Tiff and I went to that party I mentioned and had a BLAST. We really had such a great time and enjoyed ourselves fully. It was amazing to let loose like that. Unfortunately I only managed 4 hours of sleep that night because I woke up in the morning with anxiety and couldn't fall back to sleep. On Friday, after I had taken care of my responsibilities, my neighbor Josh asked me if I would be up for gong skimboarding with him, Derek, and Eric in some puddles along a golf course nearby (today is the first day it hasn't rained at some point for about 2 weeks now). I thought it sounded really random, but like something taht would be fun so I went. We skimboarded at the course for a while and then randomly made the decision to drive to the beach. Mind you, the closest beach to Orlando is Cocoa and that's about 45 minutes away. So, we randomly go to Cocoa and hang out there for a few hours. After getting back some time at night we decide to head to a movie (now it's me, Eric, Tiff, Josh, Derek, and Zack). Turns out the movie is sold out and as we start walking back to my car we realize that Brendan was there and had LITERALLY parked 2 spots away from me. My mood totally changed. I was angry and sad, all because of seeing his car. It just made me feel that pain of maybe never sitting in it next to him as his girlfriend again, and of course my mind jumped to, "Did he come with a girl?" Luckily my friends managed to cheer me up a bit later and we ended up watching Animal House. That night I only got in 3 hours of sleep and had to work at the center the next day. Saturday was TOTALLY crazy and I began to feel like I hadn't stopped for DAYS. I worked at the center, went to lunch with some friends, bought my halloween costume, and took a random road trip to Gainesville with Eric, Derek, Josh, and Tiff for one of the boys friends birthdays. So Tiff and I actually didn't go to Club Paris. We instead took this two hour drive with them, got there at 11pm and then came back to Orlando the same night, arriving at 630 this morning. It was a total blast but I really need some sleep!!!!! I have had so much fun hanging out with all of the guys. I haven't been spontaneous in so long that I had forgotten what a spontaneous person I can be. This weekend has truly been great.
Tiff and Eric both told me that they talked to Brendan today. Tiff really got into the details about it, but I didn't really ask Eric for any. It sounds like he's finally starting to share his feelings with others. He told Tiff that he had just lost his passion to be in a relationship, and to be with me...which sounds like what you guys were saying about unrealistic expectations on his part as far as how a relationship should be. But it just hurts to hear that someone isn't in love with you anymore. He told Tiff taht he's been crying a lot and getting sick. Apparently it's hard to not have me around because I was what always comforted him. He also said that he thinks we'll need to talk about things at some point because we'll need to be able to hang out with each other since we have so many mutual friends. I'm sticking to my guns though and not calling him. If he thinks we need to talk so badly then he needs to call me. At this point it's definitely clear to me that we won't be together for at least a veryyyyyyyyyy long time, if at all. At this point that pill is a little hard to swallow though. It's like it gets lodged somewhere in the middle of rational thought and actual acceptance.
It feels good to have gotten to tell someone about my crazy weekend and the way I'm feeling at the moment. My life just feels really crazy right now. Like I just don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing. This is my current state of mind:
You are doing great! Chris is right - resist the urge to call him.
is a lot better than
Keep your chin up, this will pass.
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