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I need someone to talk to
- Thread starter april31
- Start Date
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- #222
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- #223
Just wanted to stop in a nd say hi. Had a hard week. My counselor wants me to see the other dr now. I told her I would think about it. I really just dont want to talk to anyone else. She thinks I prob have anxiety and that post tramatic stress. She even thinks I might have a little of ocd. But not sure if I agree with her.
Just wanted you all to know I havent disapeared lol.
Just wanted you all to know I havent disapeared lol.
April I'm glad to see you're back!!
which 'other dr' does your counselor want you to see? The psychiatrist re: meds? If so, I would encourage you to go -- you won't have to get into gory detail with him/her, just discuss your symptoms (sleeplessness, anxiety, what's happening as opposed to why) so they can find a medication that may help you deal with the symptoms, so that you can feel better. I'm sory you've had a rough week, but we're here for you!
good to 'see' you again!!!
Hard as it is, I'm just so glad you're still on track. Keep seeing your counselor, and please see the other doctor as soon as you can face it, okay? Every step is a step in the right direction.
That is excellent advice! Sometimes those medications can really help make up for what your brain/body isn't producing! It really, really helped me.Originally Posted by RicaLynn
April I'm glad to see you're back!!which 'other dr' does your counselor want you to see? The psychiatrist re: meds? If so, I would encourage you to go -- you won't have to get into gory detail with him/her, just discuss your symptoms (sleeplessness, anxiety, what's happening as opposed to why) so they can find a medication that may help you deal with the symptoms, so that you can feel better. I'm sory you've had a rough week, but we're here for you!good to 'see' you again!!!
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- #227
Yeah still working on it. Work is going good so far. That was a big concern of mine. So far getting the room ready and a lot of meetings. The sleeping been off and on go a few night without and then a night where i fall asleep right away and stay asleep. So thats a little better.
I have been thinking of you
Good work! Let us know how the appointment goes. Great big hugs!
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- #230
Grrr I am so frustraighted (sp?). My husband is driving me nuts. I am not sure how much more of it I can take. He has been really grumpy lately. Yelling about everything. Hes had this attitude that stinks.
Then when I get mad he askes me what my problem is??? If I say that I dont like the way hes acting or something like that he goes on and on about "yeah its all my fault im just a a**." Thats always his excuse.
If I say you always act crabby he just answers I am crabby. Its like he thinks as long as he says i am crabby, I am a (bad word) then its ok. But he dont change the way he acts. In fact hes usually worse.
His drinking is getting really bad again. But he dont see it as a problem.
Please dont tell me just to leave him its not that easy its complicated.
I dont know what im asking for. Not even sure why I am telling you all except maybe to get it out. I feel like im walking on glass with him everyday. Never know whats gonna get him mad.
Then when I get mad he askes me what my problem is??? If I say that I dont like the way hes acting or something like that he goes on and on about "yeah its all my fault im just a a**." Thats always his excuse.
If I say you always act crabby he just answers I am crabby. Its like he thinks as long as he says i am crabby, I am a (bad word) then its ok. But he dont change the way he acts. In fact hes usually worse.
His drinking is getting really bad again. But he dont see it as a problem.
Please dont tell me just to leave him its not that easy its complicated.
I dont know what im asking for. Not even sure why I am telling you all except maybe to get it out. I feel like im walking on glass with him everyday. Never know whats gonna get him mad.
I always feel like im going crazy, ive been to so many councellers over the years its amazing. They do help.. i havent read the whole of this thread just the first post.. The internet is awfull for searching how you feel etc it always brings up something awfull and makes u paranoid, been there done that!
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- #232
Yeah part of my problem also is that im so scared what I tell her because of what she might think. So im always double thinking about what im gonna say before I say it. Its like im afraid if I tell her how I really fell she will lock me up lmao.
Unless you are a danger to yourself or to someone else, she won't lock you up. Counseling requires some trust and that trust is hard to get to. But she is offering you a chance to believe in yourself which will help with coping with life. Please keep with it.
April I did that a lot too at first, but then I realized that my therapist couldn't really help make things better if she only got half the story from me. . .
As far as your husband goes, can I make just a couple suggestions? Maybe it's not so much what you're saying as how you're saying it: try to avoid "you always" or "you never," but tell him "I feel. . ." (it's hard, I know -- a lot of times I wound up saying "I feel like YOU ALWAYS. . ." which didn't really help either)
I don't remember if it's been suggested before, but have you tried Al-Anon? <This link will help you find a meeting close to you.
Keep at it. we're here for you!!!
As far as your husband goes, can I make just a couple suggestions? Maybe it's not so much what you're saying as how you're saying it: try to avoid "you always" or "you never," but tell him "I feel. . ." (it's hard, I know -- a lot of times I wound up saying "I feel like YOU ALWAYS. . ." which didn't really help either)
I don't remember if it's been suggested before, but have you tried Al-Anon? <This link will help you find a meeting close to you.
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- #235
My counselor mentioned that also. But he would never let me go. He dont want me going to counseling either and wont pay for it. But he would have a fit about me going there and sneaking out wouldnt work as he calls me all the time and needs to know exactly what im doing at all times (or im cheating on him lol).
april, im so sorry 4 what u r going thru. if it helps my brother went thru something so simlar. we almost lost him a few months ago but now hes doing so great! u can read his story here. check out posts #1 and #48.
b well
-carla
b well
-carla
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #237
Well im still around. Been sleeping better. Still not sure that this is really helping though. The last appointment she told me that i will prob always have anxiety (lovely).
I kind of feel the same as before and that im waisting my money. I am gonna see how today goes and decide if im just gonna forget it. I guess I dont know what I was expecting.
But it felt a little aggravating that she told me that pretty much it wasnt fixable at least thats how I took it. I feel like ive waisted everyones time including my own.
Just wanted you all to know im still around. Just havent been up to talking much.
I kind of feel the same as before and that im waisting my money. I am gonna see how today goes and decide if im just gonna forget it. I guess I dont know what I was expecting.
But it felt a little aggravating that she told me that pretty much it wasnt fixable at least thats how I took it. I feel like ive waisted everyones time including my own.
Just wanted you all to know im still around. Just havent been up to talking much.
Make sure you let her know that what she said makes you feel unfixable. She may have meant it differenty.
I guarantee she meant it differently! She probably meant that you might always need anti-anxiety medication. Or perhaps she meant that you will always have anxiety as long as you stay with your husband, because that is certainly the truth.
Here's what I believe, hon, for what it's worth to you:
First: You've got to be frank with the counselor or she can't really help you the way you need to be helped. Whatever you're holding back, I promise you, she's heard it before.
Second: You're trying to fix yourself, and I deeply respect and support that effort, and I pray you'll continue it. But no matter how emotionally stable and balanced you may become, your husband will still be an alcoholic, and his alcoholism controls the life of your family. You cannot make things right for yourself and your kids unless (a) he gets help or (b) you all get away from him.
Third: You say leaving him is "not that simple" -- and of course it's not. It's complicated and difficult and disruptive. But is it better to stay in this oppressive situation, better to submerge your own identity in order to keep your husband from getting angry, better to let your kids grow up with this awful example to emulate in their own marriages someday?
Of course leaving isn't simple. But you've got to do it -- at least until he stops drinking, and stays stopped.
I'm so worried about you. Please take care.
Here's what I believe, hon, for what it's worth to you:
First: You've got to be frank with the counselor or she can't really help you the way you need to be helped. Whatever you're holding back, I promise you, she's heard it before.
Second: You're trying to fix yourself, and I deeply respect and support that effort, and I pray you'll continue it. But no matter how emotionally stable and balanced you may become, your husband will still be an alcoholic, and his alcoholism controls the life of your family. You cannot make things right for yourself and your kids unless (a) he gets help or (b) you all get away from him.
Third: You say leaving him is "not that simple" -- and of course it's not. It's complicated and difficult and disruptive. But is it better to stay in this oppressive situation, better to submerge your own identity in order to keep your husband from getting angry, better to let your kids grow up with this awful example to emulate in their own marriages someday?
Of course leaving isn't simple. But you've got to do it -- at least until he stops drinking, and stays stopped.
I'm so worried about you. Please take care.
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- #240
Well yesterday I opened up a little. Not sure if it help since it caused me to have a flash back right in her office. I was/am so embarased. I hate this.
She asked me yesterday what has helped between the time I first called there asking for a appointment and now. First thing I thought of was here. talking here with you all helped that feeling of hopelessness. And gave me strength to even go. I dont think I would have otherwise.
Thank you all for being here when I needed you. Not sure if you know how much you have helped me.
She asked me yesterday what has helped between the time I first called there asking for a appointment and now. First thing I thought of was here. talking here with you all helped that feeling of hopelessness. And gave me strength to even go. I dont think I would have otherwise.
Thank you all for being here when I needed you. Not sure if you know how much you have helped me.
