I am fed up with Eric's dog

[2dogmom]

Wow what a rough night! If I'd had a night like that you couldn't print what I would have said to my husband!

A baby gate will stop a 20 lb human from getting from one part of the house to another, but to a 90 lb dog it's like a piece of kleenex. This sounds like a nice dog, a lonely dog, a dog with issues but absolutely NO manners.

Until you find a behaviorist (and stay away from anyone who starts in with thie "pack leader" baloney) try the NILIF method. It's free, it doesn't require physical force, and you get results soon enough that your life gets better.

http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm
http://www.dogguide.net/nilif.php

I really hope this helps!

 

[arlyn]

I agree with NILIF it's what I used to train Bear.
The only thing he knew when I got him was not to potty in the house.
He was 9 months old and already 85 pounds, so I needed to get control fast.

Good luck with this truly terrible situation.

 

[emy4cats]

Originally Posted by BabyWukong

I can just feel your frustration pouring out of the words you wrote! You poor poor thing, I cannot imagine having to deal with all of that at one shot.

Comet probably acted up in the middle of the night because she was seeking attention after being barred behind the baby gate. You and Eric haven't done that to her before, only barring the room where the cats' litter is, so she probably got confused and wanted reassurance that you weren't pushing her away.

Y'know, she sounds really annoying, but not vicious. Of course, I wouldn't recommend letting her near Jaiden, not till he's at least 16! What I'm saying is I think she could do with a second chance. Second chances cost money, time, and effort from both you AND Eric. I notice his involvement seems to be very close to zero... But both of you need to be consistent pack leaders to Comet.

I really hope you're able to find someone who can help your family and poor confused Comet. At this point, if she is rehomed, she will likely be put down because her new family won't know her like you do and may not know the extent of her issues. One bite and she's gone.

And dear God I wish people would realise how much training should be done when a dog is still young before it grows into a 90lb mixed up battering ram! Sorry, I know I shouldn't be badmouthing Eric, but... that's really just how I feel about a lot of irresponsible dog owners.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. We're here for you whenever you need to rant and let off steam.

Badmouth away! You have no idea how angry I am (well maybe you do) that she was never trained in the fist place. It is not fair to anyone and least of all to Comet. I know how frustrated I am, I can only imagine how she feels. She is confused and because of that her actions keep getting worse.

I think he should ship her up to his sister. She lives at home still. They love her so much and have no idea why I am "so mean to her" His mother has told me more then once that I am mean to her.

Back to the point, at their house she could have a yard to roam around and we know she would be taken care of. Oh gosh I remember one time his mother took Comet for a walk and Comet tried to attack another dog. She came back and was like "you should have warned me about that behavior! I could have been prepared." I just wanted to yell "HAVE YOU NOT BEEN LISTENING TO ME WHEN I EXPLAIN COMET'S BEHAVIOR????????"

Originally Posted by 2dogmom

Wow what a rough night! If I'd had a night like that you couldn't print what I would have said to my husband!

A baby gate will stop a 20 lb human from getting from one part of the house to another, but to a 90 lb dog it's like a piece of kleenex. This sounds like a nice dog, a lonely dog, a dog with issues but absolutely NO manners.

Until you find a behaviorist (and stay away from anyone who starts in with thie "pack leader" baloney) try the NILIF method. It's free, it doesn't require physical force, and you get results soon enough that your life gets better.

http://k9deb.com/nilif.htm
http://www.dogguide.net/nilif.php

I really hope this helps!

I cut out the more colorful words to keep it as PG as possible. Trust me he knew I was not happy before he even stepped out of bed.

I have tried the NILIF, problem is it only works when BOTH of us stick to it. Everything I have tough her gets thrown out the window when he gets home. This is the main problem. I have said over and over and over and over that we have to be a united front. He will stick with it for about a week and then just stop because it is more effort then he is willing to put out. (I can only imagine what raising a child with him is going to be like) So I am pretty much done. If we can come to an agreement great, if not I have already arranged for a place to stay for a few days.

 

[ut0pia]

Originally Posted by Emy4cats

Nope we live in an apartment. Witch is why I think owning a 90lb dog is just stupid anyway. (It is not fair to the animal)

I agree, I do not trust other people to put as much effort into an animal as I am willing too, but I have reached my limit and she is no longer safe to be around my child.

I hate to pull the "It's me or the dog" card, but I am at a loss. I was telling Eric's sister about what happened yesterday and she was like "Well you need to get rid of your cats then!"

Why his family defends this dog I don't know. I can only guess what they are going to say if we end up having to get rid of her. Witch is the path I am headed towards.

Wow I can't believe his sister said that!! Please do not let his family make you feel guilty- you take care of your cats while he has turned over to you all the responsibilities towards the dog. Most in laws are on the side of the spouse they are related to though so it's a bias.

 

[emy4cats]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

Wow I can't believe his sister said that!! Please do not let his family make you feel guilty- you take care of your cats while he has turned over to you all the responsibilities towards the dog. Most in laws are on the side of the spouse they are related to though so it's a bias.

I try not to let them get to me but sometimes I just loose it. I just don't even see how her comment makes sense?!?! The dog is being aggressive so the solution is to get rid of the cats? Tell me how that works?? People just amaze me!

Comet has been pretty clam today just laying down. When I got ready to take her for a walk I noticed she is limping really bad. I bet she hurt her self last night. So we just went on a short walk. I feel bad that she is limping so I am kinda over being mad at her right now. It is just so frustrating!!

I have a list of things that I am going to tell Eric tonight and either he agrees or I am taking Jaiden and walking out the door. I have a friend who offered to let us stay with her if need be.

Here is what I plan to say:

Eric I understand that you care about you dog, but this situation is out of control. It has now become unsafe for our child, us, and our other pets. I am not willing to risk our child's safety. We need to find Comet a new home. It is not fair to her or us if things stay the way they are now.

Then depending on what he says depends on where I go next. It could end calmly and rationally, some fighting and we reach a compromise, or I might just have to leave. I am prepared for all options and hope that I do not have to leave. It sounds so silly to leave him over a dog, but if thats what it takes to make my point then that is what I will do.

 

[2dogmom]

Boy this went from a thread about a problem dog to a thread about a problem relationship. Holy cow girl I hope you come out of this alright. It really sounds to me like you have your head on straight. You and Eric need to have a TALK that is for sure. It is a shame about the dog but a toddler, two cats and an untrained huge dog are a lot to put on anyone's plate. If you and he are not on the same team it is going to get worse and not better. Even without meaning to, a big dog can easily hurt a small child. I'm one of the biggest dog lovers there are out there but little kids and dogs do not mix, they simply do not. I'll be thinking of you! Good luck!

 

[clpeters23]

I've watched "It's Me or the Dog" on Animal Planet and have been impressed with the turn around on the dogs she's worked with. Here's a link to the forums on Victoria Stilwell's web site, maybe there will be some help there:

http://www.victoriastilwell.com/phpBB2/index.php

She also has a book out that may be available at your local library:

http://www.amazon.com/Its-Me-Dog-Hav...9369328&sr=8-1


Best of luck to you and your family!

 

[GoldyCat]

Originally Posted by Emy4cats

I was telling Eric's sister about what happened yesterday and she was like "Well you need to get rid of your cats then!"

What? She didn't say, "You need to get rid of the baby!"?!?! How does she think getting rid of the cats is going to stop the dog from hurting Jaiden?

Since the sister and mother think the dog is so wonderful, you should give him to them and let them deal with the behavior problems.

 

[trillcat]

I think this should be reposted to animal SOS. Everyone will jump on board to an agressive cat, but a dog? Im sorrry, leaving this thread sad, for all who consider a canine life so bad all you cant re-train them.

 

[Willowy]

Originally Posted by Trillcat

I think this should be reposted to animal SOS. Everyone will jump on board to an agressive cat, but a dog? Im sorrry, leaving this thread sad, for all who consider a canine life so bad all you cant re-train them.

Well, dogs ARE capable of much more damage than a cat is, especially a 90-pound dog. But I do agree; it would be a shame if this dog was put down. She sounds like a good dog that's just in the wrong situation.

I hope everything works out in the best interests of everyone involved (including the dog!).

 

[gardenandcats]

Have you ever seen a child that has been bitten in the face by a dog? I have and its scars for life. Its time for the dog to be out of your home now..before something happens.

 

[emy4cats]

Originally Posted by Trillcat

I think this should be reposted to animal SOS. Everyone will jump on board to an agressive cat, but a dog? Im sorrry, leaving this thread sad, for all who consider a canine life so bad all you cant re-train them.

I see what you are saying, but Jaiden is 5months old. Comet is a black lab German Sheppard mix. She is a big and powerful dog.

Now I am not saying that one of my cats could not harm Jaiden if they wanted to, but lets face it Comet could easily kill him if she wanted to. I am NOT saying that she would ever want to or mean to! It is just a very real possibility. I know it is very grim thinking, but it is a thought that never leaves my mind.

Originally Posted by Willowy

Well, dogs ARE capable of much more damage than a cat is, especially a 90-pound dog. But I do agree; it would be a shame if this dog was put down. She sounds like a good dog that's just in the wrong situation.

I hope everything works out in the best interests of everyone involved (including the dog!).

I don't want her to be put down. I hope I didn't come across that way. If we re-homed her it would be to his parents house. That way we knew she would be well taken care of.

After a good nights sleep I decided that I over reacted a bit. Eric and I talked (in loud voices) and we both see each others side of the argument. Of corse I wanted to hit him when he said "I don't want to get rid of her, she is a good dog." IF SHE WAS A GOOD DOG THIS CONVERSATION WOULD NOT BE HAPPENING... is what I wanted to scream

I don't believe that there is such thing as a "good dog" because I don't believe in a "bad dog" so with out one how can their be the other? She is a very sweet dog with a lot of behavior problems. If I do not see a strong effort from Eric for the next week then she needs to go. I mainly feel bad for her. It is unfair to her, but it really just comes down to the safety of my child.

 

[snake_lady]

Originally Posted by Trillcat

I think this should be reposted to animal SOS. Everyone will jump on board to an agressive cat, but a dog? Im sorrry, leaving this thread sad, for all who consider a canine life so bad all you cant re-train them.

Honestly, if a cat posed a danger to my infant, I would look at rehoming it as well.

It's a sad situation yes, but I'm sorry, when it comes between rehoming an animal into a home more suited for it ( a 90lb dog does NOT belong in an apartment + showing aggressiveness) vs risking injury of my child.....well, my flesh and blood will win.

The OP is more than willing to try to train, but what does she do in the meantime to protect her son? Alot of people have given training tips, but the bottom line is, training the dog will take time..... how does she protect her son while she's doing the training that her spouse doesn't seem to want to keep up with?

 

[carolina]

Comet is a black lab German Sheppard mix.

Ok, I read all the posts, and what seems to me is a typical German Shepherd behavior... They are VERY protective...
IMO, Comet is not being aggressive... On the contrary - she is protecting Jaiden. In her mind, flower could hurt Jaiden. She will try her best to protect her, and that means being close to her on a watch, making sure nothing will hurt Jaiden. She will continue to break whatever is in between her and Jaiden (i.e. baby gates)
This is easy to test - just pretend you are going to slap Jaiden in front of her - she will go into a full on attack mode against you (make sure your husband is holding her!!

)
IMO this dog will never hurt your baby, unless it is by shear accident... BUT... an apartment is not a place for a German mix... and to make it worse, cats are not very good to have around either, unless they were brought up together since she was a puppy.
Basically, IMO, this dog chose to be Jaiden's protector, and he will bark, threaten anything that he considers threatening for Jaiden; of course cats included.
I think one way to keep the peace for now is to have either her or the cats around the baby, not the two.
But, I do feel really bad for her... I have seen this protective behavior with germans before, and it is one of the things that make them extremely loyal dogs... She is just doing this out of love, and she doesn't understand why she is being punished, or being kept away from her "beloved master".
Anyway, this is just a different perspective that I thought might help you a little... Comet loves your baby, that's for sure!
(and yes, I would consider re-homing her for her own happiness - an apartment with cats and a baby is not a good environment for her)
Vibes for peace in your home!

 

[momofmany]

What is sad about all of this is that it's not the dogs fault here. It's the fact that Eric has never bothered to train the dog and he is now out of control. If you keep this dog, the burden is on both of you to retrain yourselves first so that you can get Comet under control. It's not going to be hard for you, but I wonder if Eric will seriously do anything about it. If you've tried NLIF and Eric hasn't stuck with it in the past, will he do so in the future? And if Comet is more his dog than yours, then his behavior toward the dog will have the greatest influence on him. Without Eric's full support, you have a lost cause (IMO).

And there is one comment that you made that really struck me. You said something along the lines that Comet should know better. No, Comet only knows what he was taught. If Eric never enforced good behaviors, Comet only knows bad ones.

Anyone that takes dog training to heart has theories on how to best raise a dog. I love NLIF, but also love Jan Fennell's philosophy. My nephew turned around his large fear aggressive dog with her techniques after he saw how he responded to me when I first met him. He usually got aggressive with strangers, and without a word, glance, or touch to his dog, he was licking my hand in submission after 5 minutes. His dog had bitten 2 people and the next bite would have him euthanized.

I wish you a lot of luck with this situation.

 

[trillcat]

Originally Posted by Snake_Lady

Honestly, if a cat posed a danger to my infant, I would look at rehoming it as well.

It's a sad situation yes, but I'm sorry, when it comes between rehoming an animal into a home more suited for it ( a 90lb dog does NOT belong in an apartment + showing aggressiveness) vs risking injury of my child.....well, my flesh and blood will win.

The OP is more than willing to try to train, but what does she do in the meantime to protect her son? Alot of people have given training tips, but the bottom line is, training the dog will take time..... how does she protect her son while she's doing the training that her spouse doesn't seem to want to keep up with?

I regret my post, It was written in anger.
I agree with everything you said.
Are there fosters that specialize in this sort of thing, re-training an agressive dog, then re-homing them?
I just feel bad for this dog, and really mad at the husband. And, sorry for the OP stuck in the middle of all this.

 

[Willowy]

Originally Posted by Emy4cats

I don't want her to be put down. I hope I didn't come across that way. If we re-homed her it would be to his parents house. That way we knew she would be well taken care of.

Good. A lot of people talk about "getting rid" of a dog, and for a large older dog, that almost always means euthanasia. Taking a large, dark colored, rowdy dog to a shelter is pretty much a death sentence, and many people don't quite understand the odds. I think if she could go live with "grandma", that would be ideal.

 

[emy4cats]

Just an update on Comet. We have pretty much just started over training her and started crating her at night. Witch has helped A LOT and now I don't have to worry about her getting hurt on the baby gate trying to jump over it at night (witch has also stopped her waking me up at 3am) Eric saw how serious I am about this and is really stepping up to the plate. "Rules" are being enforced by both of us now so their is less confusion on what is ok and what is not. We have a long way to go, but we are off to a really good start. I only hope it keeps up this way...

 

[momofmany]

Originally Posted by Emy4cats

Just an update on Comet. We have pretty much just started over training her and started crating her at night. Witch has helped A LOT and now I don't have to worry about her getting hurt on the baby gate trying to jump over it at night (witch has also stopped her waking me up at 3am) Eric saw how serious I am about this and is really stepping up to the plate. "Rules" are being enforced by both of us now so their is less confusion on what is ok and what is not. We have a long way to go, but we are off to a really good start. I only hope it keeps up this way...

That is very good news!!

 

[allmycats]

Originally Posted by Emy4cats

Nope we live in an apartment. Witch is why I think owning a 90lb dog is just stupid anyway. (It is not fair to the animal)

I agree, I do not trust other people to put as much effort into an animal as I am willing too, but I have reached my limit and she is no longer safe to be around my child.

I hate to pull the "It's me or the dog" card, but I am at a loss. I was telling Eric's sister about what happened yesterday and she was like "Well you need to get rid of your cats then!"

Why his family defends this dog I don't know. I can only guess what they are going to say if we end up having to get rid of her. Witch is the path I am headed towards.

First of all....ERIC NEEDS TO WALK THE DOG!! He needs to wear her out..take her to a dog park or just a long walk. (what kind of dog is this? Depending on the breed, at 7, this could be a geriatric dog). You said the dog doesn't know any better...but then you said but she "should"...I disagree...the OWNERS should know better (and TEACH the dog!)...not trying to be hard on you; you and Eric are a team...you both need to work together on this. He needs to take more responsibility for the dog.
Second, you don't necessarily need a one on one trainer...how about a good obedience CLASS? They usually cost something like $75 for six weeks (an hour a week). Try to go together if possible. Try to avoid a treats-only obedience class. There is nothing wrong with collar correction. You'll be amazed what the dog can learn.
Third--yes, you need to crate this dog at night and ANY time you cannot watch her and the baby (such as baby is playing and you have chores to do).
This is NOT the dog's fault. It is unfortunate when people make poor decisions (wrong breed, wrong home situation, no forethought); this situation is not hopeless however.
Good luck!