My mom was 29 when she had me.
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How old was your mother when she had you?
- Thread starter taurus77
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I agree age doesn't make bad mothers. Bad Mothering makes bad mothers.
My mom was sadly one of those who felt pressured to give into society and breed, even though she didn't want to. It showed, too.
My mom was sadly one of those who felt pressured to give into society and breed, even though she didn't want to. It showed, too.
My mom was 33 when she had me I was #5. Growing up I said I didn't want to be that age and have a baby because it was just hard and I was always the one with the oldest parents. I have 4 kids and was 19, 21, 22 and 25 when I had mine and I wouldn't change that for anything.
My mom was 39 when she had me. I was the "Pleasent surprise"...she was 29 and 31 when she had my brother and sister, respectively.
Mom was 26. I'm 24 now and plan on being about 28 when we start. We'll see though!
My mom was 25 when she had me. She had too many problems with me so I'm the only one!
I absolutely agree! But it's nice to have young grandparents (I'm 26 and my nan is still not yet 70) who will be around to see their grandchildren grow up and be able to interact with them, and to have a fairly young mother myself (she's 49) who still had the energy to have her grandkids for the weekend and be able to run around playing with them.
DH only has one grandparent left who is 90 and senile, and his parents are very out of touch with "today's generation", whereas I think my grandparents (who are only a little older than DH's parents) stayed young at heart partially to a more relaxed upbringing but also partially to having lots of kids around to keep them young.
Yes, I heard the report. I sincerely hope she is a "young" 60.
it is unfair. When and if i have children (even adopted ones) my parents will most likely not be around to see them. I believe it is really unfair to wait so long, even to the 40's, to have babies. You cannot guarantee you will be around to see that child grow up. Not with cancer and heart disease and all that killing people off. Yes, we can stave many of those things off, but it still is no guarantee you'll live to see your kid graduate from high school.Originally Posted by sarahp
Even if she is, by the time her child is 20, she'll be 80!!!! That seems unfair on the kid
I personally believe that women who purposely wait until they are 38 or older to have a child are being selfish. Yes, there are exceptions, such as a woman not finding her soulmate until later... sure. But there are things to do, like adopting an older kid (as opposed to an infant) that help the age gap.
As for those who say that age does not affect parenting skills... yes and no. When you're dealing with hot flashes and all that other stuff that comes with Menopause, will you really want ot get down on the floor with a 2 year old and chase it around, keeping it out of trouble? Maybe, maybe not.
OTOH, you can be older, or any age, and raise a well-behaved child (although the trend I've seen of kids lately is on the not-so-well-behaved side... younger and older parents alike).
As I said before, I have older parents... and they weren't ideal... namely my mother. there were some good and bad things about my raising... lack of discipline and focus among the bad. Negative treatment towards the kids, bad. On the good side, she raised us to be unique individuals. Although it's not like she meant that outcome. And for all her negativity, I edned up halfway decent... although that came from my rebelliousness of her negative attitude. For years I thought my dad was just like her... not so. He just left the raising of us to her. i wish he hadn't. He's really a great guy.
I'm gonna stop now before I say stuff that pushes this to IMO... man, I'm getting feisty... really should channel that into my creative efforts.
A.
If a person wants to have, raise, and love a child, I don't see how that is unfair to anybody. And, no mother can guarantee she'll be around to see her child grow up! Anything can happen, regardless of age.
Selfish means "lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own profit or pleasure." How does wanting a child mean you aren't concerned about others? I would think it's the opposite; parenting is largely self-less, no matter your age.
I didn't read that anyone said age doesn't affect parenting skills. Of course it does. Age can bring patience, maturity, and financial security into parenting. Of course, a very young person can bring those things to her child, too.
Parents young and old might not be able to "get down on the floor." What if they are in a wheelchair?
Trying to generalize how good parents are by their ages is pointless. Too many other factors determine what kind of parent you are. There are examples everywhere of good and bad parents, young and old.
my mom was 19 when I was born, 24 with my brother, and 31 with my sister. My step mom was 25 when she had my stepsister, and is pregnant again at 38...so in about 6 months I am going to have a little brother or sister who is 25 years younger than myself!
What I meant as selfish was the waiting. How women I see (not ALL, just the ones who put career first) all around me who decide to do career... putting off having kids until they are pushing or past 40. And demanding (for lack of a better term) that the child must be their own biological child. If you really wake up one morning at 40 or 45 adn decide you wanted to be a mom after all, there are thousands... THOUSANDS... of children out there in foster care who need loving permanent homes. Not always infants. Yes, some may come with baggage... but I'd rather deal with the baggage than bring another child into this uncertain world.
Waiting due to career and then wanting a biological child at 40 is what is selfish. Not being a mom in general. Yes, that is selfless. If and when I want to be a mom, I'd rather adopt. In a heartbeat. But then again, until I get married, I probably won't be able to, because of the back-a**wards laws here in the US about the definition of 'family.' Now, there's a topic for IMO.
I'm walking away now. Not going to return to this thread... I've been dealing with too much cra* this week to get into debates like this. I'm done.
My mom was 26 when she had me and around 29 (I think) when she had my brother.
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