Help with "punishment"

[yosemite]

You could always tell her:

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that's scary!)

Seriously, IMO there are worse things she could have done. Yes, she disobeyed and should have consequences, one of which is that she is not allowed to wear the lip ring and allow the piercing to grow over. Our daughter wanted a tattoo and we went through much the same. I told her when she was 18 she could get a tattoo if she still wanted one. She did but by then she had thought enough about it to get a small one.

Peer pressure is very hard on our young people today. I honestly don't believe we had as much pressure on us.

She should obviously be "punished" for disobeying you and a way should be found to impress upon her that if she wishes to be treated as an adult then she must act so. Unfortunately as one poster suggested she pay her own rent, food, etc., I don't see that as being feasible. She's only 13 - she knows she doesn't have the money, you know she doesn't have the money so it would just become an EMPTY threat. Seek something tangible.

 

[cat_eyes]

ok i know now not to get a tatoo. that was just creepy!

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Cat_eyes

ok i know now not to get a tatoo. that was just creepy!

Which part - the info, or the thought that you mom could come here for advice?

 

[cat_eyes]

the info

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that's scary!)

 

[arlyn]

Originally Posted by Cat_eyes

the info

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos and pierced navels? (Now that's scary!)

You know.... some of us are already old ladies by comparison, and covered in tats and piercings

Punk Rockers have been around a very long time and have gone by various names

 

[cat_eyes]

i did not mean to be rude.

I just thought that was a little creepy!!

 

[arlyn]

I didn't take it as rude. No worries

 

[cat_eyes]

ok. I thought I herded yor feelings.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Cat_eyes

ok. I thought I herded yor feelings.

You're ok hon - pretty much everyone here has a sense of humour - I've specifically picked tats that I don't think will look stupid if I make it to 85!

 

[kluchetta]

Originally Posted by Satai

You're ok hon - pretty much everyone here has a sense of humour - I've specifically picked tats that I don't think will look stupid if I make it to 85!

A girl I work with only got hers a few years ago, but now she hates it. She says, "I just picked the design off the wall like it was a sticker" LOL

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by kluchetta

A girl I work with only got hers a few years ago, but now she hates it. She says, "I just picked the design off the wall like it was a sticker" LOL

Ouch.

No, I thought about mine for a long time, and both were simple but designed by me (and drawn to my specifications by BF, because I can't draw). I've had my first two since December 2000.

I will be getting a third one at some point - I felt a little weird microchipping my cats, even though it was for their own good, so I promised them that I would get a tat. That was over eighteen months ago - probably longer. I finally decided on the tat earlier this week, and where I will put it. I'll live with it (the design in my head) for a while before I commit it to skin, but I'm sure this is the 'one'.

Part of the process is also deciding exactly where to put it - that takes time as well, a tattoo might look fine in your mind, but you have to be able to 'see' it on your skin, I think before you commit to it.

 

[arlyn]

I only have one flash design (the standard on the wall stuff).
But it is appropriate for what it is, a tribute and now memorial to my sister.

 

[zissou'smom]

I drew mine myself. It's a triax with celtic knotwork and little crescent moons from one hip to the other.

If it looks stupid when I'm 85, I won't wear halter tops and bikinis

I want more, and am saving up money. I know people in their mid-40s who wear noserings and I don't think it looks weird at all.

Alot of people who just go get one tattoo and pick it off the wall without much thought end up regretting it.

I hope you have figured out what to do with your daughter!

 

[minxie]

Well my parents found out that their 18 year old son had got his nipple pierced from our next door neighbours.

The silly boy had agreed to take part in a BBC documentary about piercings and have his nipple pierced on TV.

After watching a bit of late night TV, the neighbours were round to inform my parents!!

My mother has a hard time accepting it...even 3 years later.

This, of course, is a different case to your much younger daughter who got her lip pierced behind your back. I empathise with you completely.

 

[cat_eyes]

after I read all the post I said to myself do not get a tattoo or get my lip pierced

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by Cat_eyes

after I read all the post I said to myself do not get a tattoo or get my lip pierced

Sensible girl! But don't be surprised if you change your mind in a few years.

 

[satai]

Originally Posted by minxie

Well my parents found out that their 18 year old son had got his nipple pierced from our next door neighbours.

The silly boy had agreed to take part in a BBC documentary about piercings and have his nipple pierced on TV.

Was he very brave, or did he give your family lots of ammo for the holidays for years to come?

 

[cat_eyes]

Originally Posted by Satai

Sensible girl! But don't be surprised if you change your mind in a few years.

I am not going to change my mind.!

it looks like it hurts!

 

[beckiboo]

I would ask for specifics on how it was done. As a nurse, I am kind of paranoid about blood born diseases. If it was someone else's post, it could have carried disease. Just wiping it with alcohol isn't enough.

And as Fwan said, beware of peer pressure. Talk to her about how if she made this decision from peer pressure, what is she going to do when a cute boy wants to kiss her? Etc. 13 is a very difficult age, and you do not want her making poor decisions that can affect her whole life. (I'm not saying she would...but it is a good time to talk about it!)

I like the ideas of having her write a report, and search out where to get a professional piercing.

Good luck, sounds like your daughter is a handful! My oldest was and still is at age 23! She always wanted piercings and tattoos, until she grew up and was old enough to make the decision, and pay for it!!!

 

[minxie]

Originally Posted by Satai

Was he very brave, or did he give your family lots of ammo for the holidays for years to come?

Brave? I think rebellious is the word. He is the type of 'individual' that has to stand out from the crowd and doesnt care what people think (I do love him though!). Its not mentioned on family holidays....on the beach...mum just closes her eyes to stop her having a paranoid panic attack and I have to reassure her by pointing out other kids who have the same thing and say 'its the fashion now...the generations have changed!'