The drawings and stories are wonderful. What terrific momentos of dear Kitten. [emoji]10084[/emoji]️
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For my Kitten
- Thread starter kittens mom
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I love those drawings!
These are beautiful. And I agree that the art is perfect. Perfect art would not have been. Both the illustrations and the shorts have a wonderful child-like quality, that is to say that they come from the heart and soul, without the filter of the adult mind. Thank you for sharing them.
Yes, indeed! Just wonderful
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- #185
One of my biggest fears with Kitten is that she would somehow get out of the house. Of course realized early on she had no interest in that particular venue besides being a voyeur to the goings on outside. Still we have always been cautious. The idea of her lost and alone and believe totally unable to take care of herself where we live played like a horror show in my mind. In no way did it occupy my every thought but enough so we had extra latches on all the doors and hardware cloth panels for the windows. In those last three months when she got scared she would hide. Kitten was fine in the house but things outside that were beyond her range of vision scared her. We had a rule of headcount when anyone went in or out.
I realize now that her death has brought forth many of the fears I had if she had ever gotten out and became lost. Where is she. Is she safe. Does she hurt. Is she cold, scared. What if she dies a horrible death and I never know.
Kitten is lost. But sadly found. In a little box with her footprints memorialized on the top. Lost but sadly found. And yet all the same questions remain unanswered. And like any lost pet. WE just want them back.
I realize now that her death has brought forth many of the fears I had if she had ever gotten out and became lost. Where is she. Is she safe. Does she hurt. Is she cold, scared. What if she dies a horrible death and I never know.
Kitten is lost. But sadly found. In a little box with her footprints memorialized on the top. Lost but sadly found. And yet all the same questions remain unanswered. And like any lost pet. WE just want them back.
And you know, for all the talk of Rainbow Bridges, and Heaven (or in my case, The Summerlands), even if any one of us could prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that those things are as real as we believe they are, WE STILL MISS THEM AND WANT THEM PHYSICALLY WITH US! That does not, no matter what our understanding, change. We miss them. Always.
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- #187
As you can probably guess this has not been one of the better days. Quite honestly I know the Rainbow Bridge is meant to be comforting. It is simply not my cup of tea.
My husband and I are not fools. We knew this day would come. When you get that little life you are aware of it but it's so far past the horizon it doesn't seem to matter. At some point you can see there will be a finish line. Sometimes it moves forward slowly and sneaks up on you. Other times it's like the rotation of the world speeds up and hurls it at you suddenly and without mercy. But you almost always see it coming. Even if you're denying it you know. It's built into us. At 11 I knew though would sooth myself with the stories of cats that live for several decades that we were at the time when every year was a gift. It is no matter how old they are. We knew that at some point we would have to help her cross. Good care means most pets don't just pass. Their extended lifeline makes them susceptible to disease that they didn't face when their lifespans were so much shorter.
We just never considered that all of these events would be precipitated by someone sworn to protect animals. And with so little caring.
My husband and I are not fools. We knew this day would come. When you get that little life you are aware of it but it's so far past the horizon it doesn't seem to matter. At some point you can see there will be a finish line. Sometimes it moves forward slowly and sneaks up on you. Other times it's like the rotation of the world speeds up and hurls it at you suddenly and without mercy. But you almost always see it coming. Even if you're denying it you know. It's built into us. At 11 I knew though would sooth myself with the stories of cats that live for several decades that we were at the time when every year was a gift. It is no matter how old they are. We knew that at some point we would have to help her cross. Good care means most pets don't just pass. Their extended lifeline makes them susceptible to disease that they didn't face when their lifespans were so much shorter.
We just never considered that all of these events would be precipitated by someone sworn to protect animals. And with so little caring.
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So true! Where did I send my Gracie-girl? Too many are quick to say oh she went to heaven or to rainbow bridge. It's not my cup of tea either, although I admit it is comforting to think such things. Might as well, since there's not one damn thing I can do about it :'( It is what it is.
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- #189
And that's one of the hardest things to accept. There's not one damn thing we can do about.
Rainbow Bridge is a comforting thought. It has gotten me through some days. I don't know if I truly believe it or not. I want to though. Other days, nothing gets me through it. I keep thinking about that poor person that posted here not long ago after her priest told her that her cat that had just died would not be in heaven. What a horribly unthoughtful thing to say to someone who is obviously in pain and grieving. If there is a heaven and it's without my pets, then I don't want it.
For some reason, the thought of Lucky being on the greeting committee at Rainbow Bridge makes me smile. He always greeted everyone when they came home, after all. Am I deluding myself? Perhaps. But I'm ok with that.
And you are right, Kittens Mom. It doesn't matter how old or young they are, it still hurts. Hearing people say "But he lived to be 16" made me want to smack people.
For some reason, the thought of Lucky being on the greeting committee at Rainbow Bridge makes me smile. He always greeted everyone when they came home, after all. Am I deluding myself? Perhaps. But I'm ok with that.
And you are right, Kittens Mom. It doesn't matter how old or young they are, it still hurts. Hearing people say "But he lived to be 16" made me want to smack people.
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- #191
That's right up there with you have other pets. When someone makes that kind of broad sweeping statement they devalue the pet we loved. It's like a double whammy. It was old, You have other cats and it implies the Just get over it mentality. But for the support here , my husband and a really BFF IRL I would have no real support. The little baby cat laying on my arm is loved. She doesn't replace what my arms ache to hold or fill the empty spot left in our home and lives.
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I couldn't agree with you more! I wouldn't trust anything a catholic priest had to say anyway, but that poor woman, what a horrible thing to say to her when her heart was broken already! With priests like that, who needs the devil? I hope she didn't believe it. Not only is it horribly unthoughtful, he has no clue if what he said was true anyway. None of us know what happens on the other side. We haven't been there yet. If the bible is true, then animals will be there before we will. There are allusions to that in several verses I know of. I remember Billy Graham told a boy his dog would be in heaven, but his explanation was very unclear, as if he was only expressing his opinion.
There was a woman on pet loss board who made that same "but your pets lived to be 14 or more and mine only lived to 8!!" statement. It made me think: what about those whose pets didn't live but a few weeks, or a year or two? How would they feel about her griping her pet only lived to 8? I know she was hurting but you know some things just shouldn't be said. I read some of her old posts and she actually told someone else she hoped they "got over" the death of a family member soon. That's another saying that makes me want to smack people.
I lost my mom 1 1/2 years ago now, and I used to go to this bereavement chat room. Two different idiots, on separate occasions, told me, "well your mom lived to 88!" I left before I cussed them out, but I should have asked "what's your point?" That I have no right to grieve? It's no wonder I like animals more than people most times. I don't understand what is on people's minds when they say thoughtless things like that. I'm still having a hard time dealing with her loss, especially since Christmas and my birthday. I saw no one either day. No one. I can certainly understand why people commit suicide at this time of year.
Sorry for getting off track but I needed to vent.
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- #193
Once upon a time not that long ago when someone was dealing with grief they could use an outward sign usually through clothing to signify they were dealing with the death of a loved one. I'm just going to excuse all the social nonsense about what one should and should not do while grieving and just address the right to do so and publicly. Not weeping and fainting but the right to simply ask for some distance.
If we could wear a black ribbon to signify loss it would be no one's business but our own but should from anyone observing it excuse us from chitter chatter , glib nonsense and being asked if we had a happy holidays. Personally right now having some twit behind the register quip the have a nice day makes me want to go for the throat.
Of course gone are the days where manners were considered good form especially in public and gone are the days where grieving is respected as a part of loss. We live in the move along get on with your life mentality.
Nothing hurts more than to be in possession of that black tight hole of pain in your gut than someone with the most delightful insensitive comment that they somehow think is going to lend you comfort.
I'm not interested in sharing my grief with everyone. I do here because there is an understanding. I do not wish to share with just anyone. I do wish it was easier to find a way to signify outwardly do not try and cheer me up, tell me jokes. tell me to remember the good times , be thankful for the time we had. Be thankful she didn't suffer. Just be quiet and respect my need to maintain a personal space right now. I do not enjoy becoming a wad of emotions when I have to shop, pay bills etc.
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Here is what I think of as a very apropos analogy: it's like they see you've got this huge gaping wound that's gushing blood, yet they glibly hand you a bandaid? That's insulting to say the least. It's better not to say anything at all than to insult someone who is hurting. I'm sure this won't help but I am so sorry for your loss of dear Kitten. I understand what it's like to lose dear pets. I've lost both parents which was devastating - and in a way losing a pet is worse, And I was close to both my parents, especially mom.
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- #195
When it comes from someone who understands it does help.
Still reading, following, sending warmth your direction.
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- #197
We filed papers today. You would think that might feel good. The overdose is pretty cut and dry. Instead it's just been a rough day. Husband had a melt down tonight. Someone asked me why I don't just let this all go if it's making us both so miserable. Because we are the only voice our little cat has.
Follow the comments on any animal cruelty story and in them will be a large number of pet owners declaring they would ( insert act of violence ) if anyone ever messed with their pets.
So someone blinded my pet. Poisoned her via shots that were not cat friendly and lied about it, then overdosed her , poisoned her again and stole most of her vision constitutes and act of animal cruelty in my book. Maybe even worse coming from a vet. How is it that different that the vet that shot the cat with the arrow except one was an act of direct violence the other one of careless disregard. Heck the internet lynched the dentist over shooting a lion. Hey over here internet. I have a vet that killed my cat. Don't think I am not considering it. I have a large twitter account. Sadly that's not who I am. I really wish it was right now.
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- #198
I believe that last night was the first time my husband and I talked about losing Kitten. Not how she died and all the circumstances around it. But how much we genuinely miss her. Even though we were both there when she passed we never talked about it. Even on the way home.
Yesterday was stressful. First we had to fill out the papers. Go to the courthouse. Go to the ATM because they only take cash for civil cases. Drive a 60 mile round trip to the county seat to go to the sheriff office to have the vet served. Heck we even had to sit down and figure out a dollar amount to sue for. I guess we finally got rattled our of our protective cocoons of silence and avoidance. It's hard to talk to your spouse about these feelings. Everything is so close to the surface yet. We grieve for what Kitten lost but I think this is the first time we grieved and sobbed over what we lost. Not really. It's like the air cleared in here a bit. There is a stark realization that she is gone.
Yesterday was stressful. First we had to fill out the papers. Go to the courthouse. Go to the ATM because they only take cash for civil cases. Drive a 60 mile round trip to the county seat to go to the sheriff office to have the vet served. Heck we even had to sit down and figure out a dollar amount to sue for. I guess we finally got rattled our of our protective cocoons of silence and avoidance. It's hard to talk to your spouse about these feelings. Everything is so close to the surface yet. We grieve for what Kitten lost but I think this is the first time we grieved and sobbed over what we lost. Not really. It's like the air cleared in here a bit. There is a stark realization that she is gone.
OH my Dear, my very very Dear...What a horrible day, and yet...as you said, the air is a little clearer. Some hope that the first tiny steps towards scabbing over the wounds might now try to begin. And, really, that's all we can hope for...
I wish there were some words that would make a real difference. There aren't, and I know that, and STILL I get frustrated because I can't find them. I try on every thread saying goodbye to a beloved cat that I read, and they are just not there. I think that they don't exist, those words. Or maybe we say them, and only after time has past do they have any meaning.
Whatever. Just please know how much I care.
I wish there were some words that would make a real difference. There aren't, and I know that, and STILL I get frustrated because I can't find them. I try on every thread saying goodbye to a beloved cat that I read, and they are just not there. I think that they don't exist, those words. Or maybe we say them, and only after time has past do they have any meaning.
Whatever. Just please know how much I care.
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- #200
Cleaning off my desk I seen Mercy's little baby collar and thought best to put it away. Open the trinket box and you guessed it. There is Kitten's collar right on tip. It even has a bit of cream dried on the tip from the last time she begged a sip. It is amazing how raw all of this still is.
In fact every collar/tag she's ever had is in that box. She always smelled like baby powder. Which is odd since we never use any type of talc.
In fact every collar/tag she's ever had is in that box. She always smelled like baby powder. Which is odd since we never use any type of talc.
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