Does having kids change how you feel towards your pets?

[cats--always]

 
I was talking to my sister about my cat being sick recently and how i had to spend money. And she commented that if i ever have children that is going to change. That i will think of my child first and i wont want to spend money healing my cat.

This confuses me, because i always see a pet as a family, you took responsibility when you adopted this pet to care for it, the rest of its life. If a pet is sick, you make sacrifices to heal the pet.

Right now, its just me and my elderly mom, we dont have much money but we sacrificed what we had to take Kitty to the vet. How will having a child suddenly make me sacrifice my animal just to save money for my kids?

She says i will want to save the money for my kids instead in case they have an emergency.

Will i change my mind once i have kids?

A pet is certainly a beautiful "addition" to the family. But it can never come close to the beloved members of the family. Things will change, but that does not necessarily mean that it is bad. You will think of your child first, just as every other good parent does. But I disagree that now you won't want to spend money to heal your cat.

Yes, you will put your daughter or son first. And of course you will still want to care for your cat, and would want to do what you needed to in order to heal your cat-- just not at the expense of your son or daughter. Putting your children first just means you love and are committed to your children more than to your cat. In the cases of a really bad financial crises, you can still find a way for them to not only get a way to be healed, but still be part of a loving home where they will be treated with goodness and love, by giving them to a trust-worthy new home. That is, if it comes down to that point. After all, who would be most important to you? This way, both of your loved ones are still being taken really good care of.

But if you're not in that bad financial situation, and you're able to provide everything that is needed for them both,  then there really is no difference. Except for the fact that your little angel who just arrived from the womb will hold first place in both your heart and your home.

P.S. Many cat lovers have actually expressed feeling that their cats and their babies are both their children. You might feel that same way as well. It's also a pleasure to see how happy your pets make your child/ren, and how they lift them up and put a smile on your child/rens face. Just Absolutely Priceless.

 

[terestrife]

Am i the only one that finds it sad that people think animals are less than humans? That they wouldnt bother trying to save their animals?

I was just thinking about this the other day, about what i would do if there was a fire. Dont get me wrong, i would warn all the people in the house first. But at the same time, im going to run and grab my cat.

How anyone can run outside and stand there while their pet goes up on flames. i just dont understand that. When you adopt a pet, you are taking responsibility for their lives.

I have seen news reports of cats and dog risking their lives for humans. i find it so sad we think ourselves so high above animals that we cannot do the same.

Just my opinion.

 

[Kat0121]

 
Am i the only one that finds it sad that people think animals are less than humans? That they wouldnt bother trying to save their animals?

I was just thinking about this the other day, about what i would do if there was a fire. Dont get me wrong, i would warn all the people in the house first. But at the same time, im going to run and grab my cat.

How anyone can run outside and stand there while their pet goes up on flames. i just dont understand that. When you adopt a pet, you are taking responsibility for their lives.

I have seen news reports of cats and dog risking their lives for humans. i find it so sad we think ourselves so high above animals that we cannot do the same.

Just my opinion.

Nope. I'm with you. I'd do everything in my power to save them. Most of the time I'm the only human in the house anyway so that's not an issue for me. The dog would run me down getting out the front door to save her own fanny so she's not an issue. 

I've also seen the reports about cats and dogs risking their lives to save their humans. There was just one in the last week where a dog covered his owner's face with his body to try to protect him in a fire. It's not "humanizing" an animal IMO, it's protecting them and looking out for them the same way they do for us.

 

[sparrowhawk]

 
Am i the only one that finds it sad that people think animals are less than humans? That they wouldnt bother trying to save their animals?

I was just thinking about this the other day, about what i would do if there was a fire. Dont get me wrong, i would warn all the people in the house first. But at the same time, im going to run and grab my cat.

How anyone can run outside and stand there while their pet goes up on flames. i just dont understand that. When you adopt a pet, you are taking responsibility for their lives.

I have seen news reports of cats and dog risking their lives for humans. i find it so sad we think ourselves so high above animals that we cannot do the same.

Just my opinion.

I would say that, on this site, you actually are probably in the majority.  As far as "How anyone can run outside and stand there while their pet goes up on flames. i just dont understand that." While the act itself would be incredibly painful and difficult, the why is really easy for me to explain. 1) As i said, if I could without getting myself killed, I would, but if I couldn't and I had a family, I would NEVER risk making my wife a widow or my children fatherless for a pet. Even living alone, my parents and brother are still alive, and I would not put them through the grief of losing me trying to save the pet. Same as long as I had one living close human friend.

And concerning your "When you adopt a pet, you are taking responsibility for their lives." Yes, I agree you are - hence why my pets live very well and receive a lot of affection and care from me. But self-sacrifice is going above and beyond, and self-sacrifice is something I reserve for humans. To point - I can't guarantee it, but I would hope I would have the courage to save a human if they were a total stranger and even if we never met again and no emotional attachments were formed. And yet, an animal that I have loved for years I would restrain myself from endangering my life for even though it would mean weeks of continual sadness and pangs for the rest of my life every time something reminded me (such as seeing another housefire on the news).

Basically, as @Cats--Always said, there is just a line I will not cross for animals. Not because I don't care. But because the role my life plays in the role of other humans is much more important. I guess I could imagine a horrible life where the cat has more claim on me than any human, but that is a life I hope I never lead.

 

[kittywhiskers]

Am i the only one that finds it sad that people think animals are less than humans? That they wouldnt bother trying to save their animals?
I was just thinking about this the other day, about what i would do if there was a fire. Dont get me wrong, i would warn all the people in the house first. But at the same time, im going to run and grab my cat.

How anyone can run outside and stand there while their pet goes up on flames. i just dont understand that. When you adopt a pet, you are taking responsibility for their lives.

I have seen news reports of cats and dog risking their lives for humans. i find it so sad we think ourselves so high above animals that we cannot do the same.

Just my opinion.

I'm with you too for the same reasons as you and Kat0121 !

 

[sparrowhawk]

 I have seen news reports of cats and dog risking their lives for humans. i find it so sad we think ourselves so high above animals that we cannot do the same.  -@terestrife

 It's not "humanizing" an animal IMO, it's protecting them and looking out for them the same way they do for us. -@Kat0121

I'm not at all questioning or denying a pet's loyalty to the owner. It's not than the animal life isn't precious. It is. It's that I have commitments to others that are of more importance. As precious as my cat is to me, my Mom, Dad, brother, and future wife, kids, nieces, nephews, and grandchildren are more so. To bring it up to two humans - if my best friend from high school's life was in danger, and so was my brother, and I could only save one, I might even later go insane from grief, but I would save my brother. In that example, they are both human - the "worth" factor is cancelled out. But my responsibility is first to my brother.

Even though I believe humans are worth more than animals, I still couldn't put a "price tag" on an a pet's life. But I can easily place a [if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings></xml><![endif]hierarchy of who has a higher claim on me, who comes first.

And then there's other to consider. That's why I said I wouldn't let a firefighter risk his life. Because in the heat of the moment (no pun intended), he might forget that though his family has consented to let him risk his life to save other PEOPLE, he shouldn't risk their loss for my pet.

But as far as their "worth" - just look at some basic facts. Owners can provide for their pets, but the pet cannot do so for the owner. It's a very patronizing relationship. We elevate our pet's beyond the worth of other animals, even though there is nothing special about compared to other animals. What makes a domestic cat "better" than the african wildcat they are all descended from? Nothing, but we elevate them so that they are far more valuable to us. In fact, when considering their worth, it is easier to compare/contrast them with the PEOPLE in our lives instead of the animals that they have a more natural connection to. Certainly we have received great benefit from doing so. They adore us completely.

There is nothing wrong with it being a patronizing relationship - it doesn't diminish their worth (in fact, quite the opposite - patronizing has a negative connotation because of our pride, but its creating a verb of the latin noun "pater" or "father" - by patronizing our pets, we are raising their status to a lesser type of adoption, acknowledging "you were merely an animal before, but now you are more, you belong in my household [though my actual family still comes first]).  Though in less use than before, an artist you to seek out A patron (not many customers), someone who would provide him with his needs so he could continue his artistic work, since it took up too much time for him to have to provide for himself. Of course, in times of difficulty, a patron would cut off the artist long before endangering the welfare of his actual family.

It's a similar relationship with pets. We patronize them - but instead of so they can pursue a goal, its so we can dote on them and receive their affection. There is nothing wrong with this. Both sides win. They have a much easier and happier life than they would fending for themselves (and longer life 99% of the time). But we can't forget their are PEOPLE who have a greater claim on us than our pets.

 

[Loving Mickey]

Terestrife, I agree with you COMPLETELY! I have two kitties and I totally love them both. I will always do everything in my power to protect them. They are family to me. I have a husband and son also. They both feel as I do. I know my husband would risk his own life to save us all, kitties included. That is just the way we feel and I am sure many others feel the same. To us, our kitties lives are just as important as ours. If one of us would become ill, we would spend our last cent to try and save them. That includes us and our kitties. We are all family and all just as important.

 

[lallorona]

I cant agree with this statement. Although i do agree i would buy the baby food first. i also would not allow my cat to starve. i dont care if i had to beg friends or family for cat food. or stand outside a supermarket with a sign begging for cat food. there are even churches that help people. but i cant see myself allowing my cats to starve, especially if i have food for myself. 
i have heard that soup kitchens for the poor sometimes have pet foods. i just think there is always a way. just my opinion though.

Well said *applause*

 

[maureen brad]

I don't think it is unreasonable for someone to say that if they had to choose between caring for their children or their cat that the children come first. that is absolutely right. Seriously, that would be a hideous , heartbreaking choice but the only possible choice. When you give birth to a child you have to take care of them.

 I just didn't spoil my kids. they had a great childhood but we didn't travel all the time. They didn't each have their own computers and their own  TV's etc.

e had cats and dogs and family nights etc. the kids had dr. appointments the animals had vet appointments. It is usually a question of priorities and planning.

 That said , bad situations occur and some people really have to make those awful choices and to  make anyone feel bad about taking care of their child is wrong.

 I also spent years working in and volunteering in a shelter. Some people had valid reasons for giving up their pets. Sad to say most did not.The most common thing I saw was a mom giving up a dog or cat and saying that the animal had belonged to their child, the child in these cases had gone to college or was just a teen that no longer spent time with the pet. At the shelter here if you say you are adopting for your child, you will not be given an animal.I always advise people not to adopt unless they want a pet not just their child wants one.I have seen a lot of bad reasons for giving up animals. Heartbreaking.

 people should think hard before adopting . Not just whether or not they would like an animal in their life but whether they would be a good thing in the life of an animal.

 

[kntrygrl256]

 
I don't think it is unreasonable for someone to say that if they had to choose between caring for their children or their cat that the children come first. that is absolutely right. Seriously, that would be a hideous , heartbreaking choice but the only possible choice. When you give birth to a child you have to take care of them.

 I just didn't spoil my kids. they had a great childhood but we didn't travel all the time. They didn't each have their own computers and their own  TV's etc.

e had cats and dogs and family nights etc. the kids had dr. appointments the animals had vet appointments. It is usually a question of priorities and planning.

 That said , bad situations occur and some people really have to make those awful choices and to  make anyone feel bad about taking care of their child is wrong.

 I also spent years working in and volunteering in a shelter. Some people had valid reasons for giving up their pets. Sad to say most did not.The most common thing I saw was a mom giving up a dog or cat and saying that the animal had belonged to their child, the child in these cases had gone to college or was just a teen that no longer spent time with the pet. At the shelter here if you say you are adopting for your child, you will not be given an animal.I always advise people not to adopt unless they want a pet not just their child wants one.I have seen a lot of bad reasons for giving up animals. Heartbreaking.

 people should think hard before adopting . Not just whether or not they would like an animal in their life but whether they would be a good thing in the life of an animal.

I was the same way. I am the mom of 2 girls and always had several cats. My daughters always said I loved my cats more, but the love was (and still is) the same just different. The health care of my cats were (and still are) equal to my daughters.

If an adult is going to purchase a pet for a child they should expect the pet to become theirs (in my experience). When we have found or adopted cats or dogs with the intention of them being my child's, I understood that being the adult it was ultimately MY responsibility to make sure they are taken care of. If I couldn't then I would rehome, with my daughter's approval (this didn't happen often)

My oldest daughter will be going away to college soon and her cat will unfortunately have to be left at home. Her cat gets severely depressed when she's apart from her human; to the point of not eating. This is something we have to work with and deal with once college starts. I would never give her away.

Now that my daughter's are older and will be leaving home soon, my cats are back to being my full time babies again. If it was a life or death situation I could sit here and say I would die trying to save my daughters and my cats/pets, but unless I was put in that position I can't honestly say what I would do...No one can. I pray none of us would ever have to make a choice.

  T.

 

[terestrife]

 
My oldest daughter will be going away to college soon and her cat will unfortunately have to be left at home. Her cat gets severely depressed when she's apart from her human; to the point of not eating. This is something we have to work with and deal with once college starts. I would never give her away.

  T.

I remember Jackson Galaxy (from my cat from hell) mentioning scent soakers. this might be a good idea for you, so that your daughters scent can still be around the house.

maybe you can also do video chats so the cat can see your daughter.

 

[kntrygrl256]

 
I remember Jackson Galaxy (from my cat from hell) mentioning scent soakers. this might be a good idea for you, so that your daughters scent can still be around the house.

maybe you can also do video chats so the cat can see your daughter.

Thanks, we are willing to try anything. Nyx (cat) even stresses when she's gone for a weekend. She is constantly walking around the house calling for her and won't eat hardly anything. Once my daughter is home she will go back to normal. We are all very concerned for her.

  T.

 

[simbathecat]

 
I was talking to my sister about my cat being sick recently and how i had to spend money. And she commented that if i ever have children that is going to change. That i will think of my child first and i wont want to spend money healing my cat.

This confuses me, because i always see a pet as a family, you took responsibility when you adopted this pet to care for it, the rest of its life. If a pet is sick, you make sacrifices to heal the pet.

Right now, its just me and my elderly mom, we dont have much money but we sacrificed what we had to take Kitty to the vet. How will having a child suddenly make me sacrifice my animal just to save money for my kids?

She says i will want to save the money for my kids instead in case they have an emergency.

Will i change my mind once i have kids?

Couldn't agree with you more.  A pet is as much family as anyone else.  They are not 2nd class citizens.

 

[simbathecat]

Terestrife, I agree with you COMPLETELY! I have two kitties and I totally love them both. I will always do everything in my power to protect them. They are family to me. I have a husband and son also. They both feel as I do. I know my husband would risk his own life to save us all, kitties included. That is just the way we feel and I am sure many others feel the same. To us, our kitties lives are just as important as ours. If one of us would become ill, we would spend our last cent to try and save them. That includes us and our kitties. We are all family and all just as important.

So true.  Hell I jumped in front of a car to stop a car from hitting one of our ferals a couple of years back.  As she had a thing about licking herself in the middle of the road because she got so comfortable with humans (she would let us carry her around).  I would do it again in a second.

The thing is animals (not just cats) if treated well give you unconditional love.  There are no hidden agendas, nothing. You love them, they love you back.

That is worth sacrificing everything for imo.

 

[maiaelizabeth]

I think that when a human gets a cut with knife, breaks a nail, has a runny eye problem, etc they wont go to the doctor or hospital right away because they can tell how they feel. I am very sensitive when its about my cats and probably overreact about everything a little bit. A couple of years ago I had to take Maia to the vet as an emergency, for me of course because she was limping,  and the cause was her baby brother got a little too rough playing. Money that i didnt have spent. didnt care. i had an important class in college. i didnt make it. but when your kitty cant tell you how she feels its important to take care of her. the same happened with foley right before christmas. i had to use money that was supposed to be for gifts to take him to the vet because he broke a nail and it bled a lot. i break my nails really often and nothing out of the ordinary happens. but for them... id do anything. absolutely anything. 

 

[terestrife]

 
I think that when a human gets a cut with knife, breaks a nail, has a runny eye problem, etc they wont go to the doctor or hospital right away because they can tell how they feel. I am very sensitive when its about my cats and probably overreact about everything a little bit. A couple of years ago I had to take Maia to the vet as an emergency, for me of course because she was limping,  and the cause was her baby brother got a little too rough playing. Money that i didnt have spent. didnt care. i had an important class in college. i didnt make it. but when your kitty cant tell you how she feels its important to take care of her. the same happened with foley right before christmas. i had to use money that was supposed to be for gifts to take him to the vet because he broke a nail and it bled a lot. i break my nails really often and nothing out of the ordinary happens. but for them... id do anything. absolutely anything. 

Completely agree. I spent a year putting up with gallbladder attacks and (TMI!!!) awful diarrhea. Its a pain i dont wish on anyone, even ended up with pancreatitis, my body basically wasnt absorbing any nutrients. My gallbladder infected. I was badly dehydrated and in severe pain by the time i got to a hospital, was stuck there for five days. lol

My cat stopped eating for a couple of days and not using her litter box and i spent money to take her to a vet right away. i was going to use that money to buy flea medicine and pet food. I constantly find myself not spending money because i need to buy things for my cats.

 

[simbathecat]

As others have mentioned I would do anything for my kids (cats if that is what you want to call them 

).

I just looked at my bills for my 5 babies last year.  It was very expensive with all the medical bills.  But honestly I don't really care.  I'd rather not buy/do things for myself just to make sure they are ok.

I think I read here or somewhere else that pets in general are one of the purest forms of love you can find in this world.  And that is worth fighting for with everything you got.  I agree 100000% percent.

 

[swampwitch]

I haven't read all the responses yet, but having a child changes everything. It changes your relationships, your routine, your priorities. What it doesn't do, in my experiences, is diminish the love you have for others. After a baby, your cats are just as important to you as they have ever been. You are just a much busier person.

I believe if someone's cats have never been a real priority, then that fact just shows up more when kids are added to the picture.

If you really love and care for your cats, you will continue to do so after having a baby. But there are just so many hours in the day, so the cats (and spouse, other kids, and everyone else in the household) might have to wait a little longer for things or get by with a little less attention, at least for for a few years. That's just how it goes.

 

[maiaelizabeth]

heat wasn't working in my apartment yesterday. Maia was really cold.

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• maiaelizabeth
• Feb 16, 2015

Foley was too

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• maiaelizabeth
• Feb 16, 2015

I would get my coat off of my back to put it in my babies.
Nothing else matters.
Even if they dont like to be wrapped

 

[terestrife]

Foley was too

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• maiaelizabeth
• Feb 16, 2015

I would get my coat off of my back to put it in my babies.
Nothing else matters.
Even if they dont like to be wrapped

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• terestrife
• Feb 16, 2015

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• terestrife
• Feb 16, 2015

This bed can be found here.

They also sell $20 pet head pads (they stay in a temperature comfortable for beds so you dont run the risk of a normal heating pad overheating them)