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My gosh, sounds like he's tried every trick in the book. If he only knew how text book he is. He probably thinks he's the worlds cleverest XXXXXXX
Bletch!
Bletch!
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Argh. guy rant?
- Thread starter leto86
- Start Date
I'm sure what he said was a lie, you would have definately known if the condom had broken.
Sweetie! PLEASE LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF EXPERIENCE!!!
I eventually fell in love with a guy like that! I married him! 34 YEARS AGO!!!!! DUMP HIM!!! He will make your life HELL! Yes-he may love you-but if you don't have the "back-up"(I didn't-no family) to be there for you when things got scary--your screwed!! PLEASE--dump him ---NOW!!! Save yourself & any future children you may have of the heartache-otherwise you'll HATE yourself when you're my age-no matter how good a mom your kids say you were!!! One more time----DUMP HIM NOW!!!
I eventually fell in love with a guy like that! I married him! 34 YEARS AGO!!!!! DUMP HIM!!! He will make your life HELL! Yes-he may love you-but if you don't have the "back-up"(I didn't-no family) to be there for you when things got scary--your screwed!! PLEASE--dump him ---NOW!!! Save yourself & any future children you may have of the heartache-otherwise you'll HATE yourself when you're my age-no matter how good a mom your kids say you were!!! One more time----DUMP HIM NOW!!!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #84
I went for a bike ride tonight at like, 11pm. Just to clear my head and try to not think about anything.
And I decided to stop at my friends Pizza Parlor. He ended up taking me out for coffee and I told him all about it. He's the same one we all went out with in Friday night.
And he said he felt like punching him on Friday because of some of the things he was saying and doing. And is glad I broke it off with him. He told me that if he gives my any problems or whatever, that he would be glad to come pick me up whereever I am or come and have a word with him. So it's good to have someone close to back me up.
We talked for a long time.. he got off work at 12, and I just got home 5 minutes ago.. so like 3 hours.
His sister was murdered actually, by a crazed obsessed husband. -- story here -- http://www.stthomastimesjournal.com/...aspx?e=1617169
And said that he had funny feelings about him from the beginning, and wants to make sure I'm ok.
I told my friends that set us up/we went camping with... and she didn't really say much.. so I'm not sure if she's upset or what. She'll be back form Oshawa tomorrow and I'll talk to her and find out.
And I decided to stop at my friends Pizza Parlor. He ended up taking me out for coffee and I told him all about it. He's the same one we all went out with in Friday night.
And he said he felt like punching him on Friday because of some of the things he was saying and doing. And is glad I broke it off with him. He told me that if he gives my any problems or whatever, that he would be glad to come pick me up whereever I am or come and have a word with him. So it's good to have someone close to back me up.
We talked for a long time.. he got off work at 12, and I just got home 5 minutes ago.. so like 3 hours.
His sister was murdered actually, by a crazed obsessed husband. -- story here -- http://www.stthomastimesjournal.com/...aspx?e=1617169
And said that he had funny feelings about him from the beginning, and wants to make sure I'm ok.
I told my friends that set us up/we went camping with... and she didn't really say much.. so I'm not sure if she's upset or what. She'll be back form Oshawa tomorrow and I'll talk to her and find out.
I'm glad you have a friend who can come bail you out if you need it.
And if this other friend is going to actually be upset with YOU for the way this guy was acting...well, get rid of her. She's not rational at all in that case, and if she would rather one friend be happy instead of the other one be happy and SAFE, well, it shows where her priorities are, and they're not with you.
But hopefully it won't be a problem at all.
You REALLY need to stop talking to him. Stay away from the dog park. It is established now that he will hang there, waiting for you to show. If you continue to do things in places where you think he "might" show up, then you truly have NOT ended the relationship, and you're only asking for more trouble.
I can't see that you need to say much to your "friend" either. She will only repeat it to the "boy" and how can that help anything? I suggest you simply say, "It wasn't working, I had to end it" and leave it at that. You can't talk the situation out of its reality.
This is scary, creepy and DANGEROUS.
Best of luck to you.
I can't see that you need to say much to your "friend" either. She will only repeat it to the "boy" and how can that help anything? I suggest you simply say, "It wasn't working, I had to end it" and leave it at that. You can't talk the situation out of its reality.
This is scary, creepy and DANGEROUS.
Best of luck to you.
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I agree. Keep us posted Sarah, okay?
IMHO the guy is now a stalker. He's showing up where he knows you will be and waiting for you. That is not normal behavour!!!!
If I were you I would be afraid, especially hearing he said that he won't take no for an answer and continues to follow you about going to your habitual hangouts. This sounds very much like what my ex fiance was doing to me.
Tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone and to stop stalking you or you are going to go to the police. Then do not talk to him if you run into him. Stay far away from him. If you see him, turn around and go in the other direction. If he talks to you, ignore him and keep on walking.
In fact! Please!!! Talk to the police now and get a restraining order against the guy. While the guy hasn't done anything physically to harm you as yet, he's causing you great stress and mental anxiety and hopefully fear for your safety. This is a huge concern and you need to nip it in the butt now before he does do something to hurt you physically!!
You shouldn't have to change your habits or hangouts and fear running into him all of the time. What he is doing is wrong! It's creepy! And it's against the law!!!
If I were you I would be afraid, especially hearing he said that he won't take no for an answer and continues to follow you about going to your habitual hangouts. This sounds very much like what my ex fiance was doing to me.
Tell him in no uncertain terms to leave you alone and to stop stalking you or you are going to go to the police. Then do not talk to him if you run into him. Stay far away from him. If you see him, turn around and go in the other direction. If he talks to you, ignore him and keep on walking.
In fact! Please!!! Talk to the police now and get a restraining order against the guy. While the guy hasn't done anything physically to harm you as yet, he's causing you great stress and mental anxiety and hopefully fear for your safety. This is a huge concern and you need to nip it in the butt now before he does do something to hurt you physically!!
You shouldn't have to change your habits or hangouts and fear running into him all of the time. What he is doing is wrong! It's creepy! And it's against the law!!!
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #89
Yeah, thanks guys.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I took Mia back to the dog park tonight, and on the walk there, I saw my friend, her boyfriend, another guy I'm friends with, and him all going into a restuarant.
It really hurt because I was texting the other guy I'm friends with, and he said that he was at home alone. And it just feels as though they are going behind my back for some reason.
After the dog park we were walking home, and my friends boyfriend lives almost right across the street from the park, and they saw us and my friend and the guy I am friends with came over to say hi. But that was it. No "come join us", no "want a ride home", or "what are you doing later". Which she ALWAYS asks me... it it really hurts. Maybe I'm just over reacting.. but it hurts. Bad. I don't have anyone else.
And I know you all say they aren't friends worth having if they act that way, but it doens't make it hurt any less.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I took Mia back to the dog park tonight, and on the walk there, I saw my friend, her boyfriend, another guy I'm friends with, and him all going into a restuarant.
It really hurt because I was texting the other guy I'm friends with, and he said that he was at home alone. And it just feels as though they are going behind my back for some reason.
After the dog park we were walking home, and my friends boyfriend lives almost right across the street from the park, and they saw us and my friend and the guy I am friends with came over to say hi. But that was it. No "come join us", no "want a ride home", or "what are you doing later". Which she ALWAYS asks me... it it really hurts. Maybe I'm just over reacting.. but it hurts. Bad. I don't have anyone else.
And I know you all say they aren't friends worth having if they act that way, but it doens't make it hurt any less.
In a situation like this, it's awkward at first. As strange as it sounds, you dumped him (good job!!) and they may feel like they have to console him for now. They probably feel like they are caught in the middle (not your fault at all!!). You never know, maybe he was stalking them too, or ambushed them into dinner (sounds like the type) and they couldn't get rid of him. Give it time.
One thing I've learned is true friends will be there in the end. I'm not saying they aren't true friends, it may just take a day or two of adjusting to the new situation. Or, they may not be true friends and in that case you don't need them. Easy to say, I know, but it's the truth.
Hang in there sweetie.
One thing I've learned is true friends will be there in the end. I'm not saying they aren't true friends, it may just take a day or two of adjusting to the new situation. Or, they may not be true friends and in that case you don't need them. Easy to say, I know, but it's the truth.
Hang in there sweetie.
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Really excellent advice. I agree with every word.
I'm sorry you are feeling hurt, Sarah.
I don't blame you, your feelings are natural and normal. But a little hurt from people who may or may not be friends who really care is better than what would be in store for you if you'd stayed with that guy.
Now...you know what he's capable of so it's very likely that he has given them some totally imaginary version of what has happened between the two of you.
Perhaps along the lines of "all I ever wanted to do was love her, but she's so worried about what people think" or "it's obvious she thinks she's too good for all of us". or "she's such a #^@&!^@ $!^*, don't believe a word she says"
bletch.
Hugs, dear. Time will pass, it will get better, but the most important thing is you are safe and free. And get yourself checked for diseases soon, okay?
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #92
I was over reacting.
She texted me at 930 or so asking if I wanted to go for Timmies with her, and we did. I explained it all, and she agreed and said she was sorry we didn't work out, that he wasn't different.. that she just wanted me to be happy. Hence setting me up with him.
THanks guys. Seriously. I don't think I would have clued in. And I'd still be with him. Wanting to shoot my brains out. I didn't see what was going on until everyone else told me and I looked back at it all.
She texted me at 930 or so asking if I wanted to go for Timmies with her, and we did. I explained it all, and she agreed and said she was sorry we didn't work out, that he wasn't different.. that she just wanted me to be happy. Hence setting me up with him.
THanks guys. Seriously. I don't think I would have clued in. And I'd still be with him. Wanting to shoot my brains out. I didn't see what was going on until everyone else told me and I looked back at it all.
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YAY! So glad you are feeling better!
"'The only people who see the whole picture,' he murmured, 'are the ones who step out of the frame.'"
— Salman Rushdie (The Ground Beneath Her Feet)
You were in the picture. I'm so glad you shook him off early, and that your friend supports you.
— Salman Rushdie (The Ground Beneath Her Feet)
You were in the picture. I'm so glad you shook him off early, and that your friend supports you.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #95
Just wanted to update on everything.
The first week was really hard. It was the week of my birthday and everyone blew me off and I had no one. I tried to not let it bother me, but I will admit, that it really hurt.
That weekend, like the 11th/12th, my friend and I had plans to hang out, which we did, but her BF and the ex ended up joining. It didn't make things any easier that I kept seeing him everywhere. I'd go for a walk and I'd see him, go to Mcdonalds, and he'd be there. Go see my friend at work, he'd show up. Later, a friend told me that he toldhim that he was actually following me.
Which also made my friend from the Pizza Parlor get mad and defensive (he thinks he's got a chance with me, but not interested in him in that way) and it really ruined one evening when we were all hanging out (even ex) and all enjoying ourselves until they got into it over me.
I had a pregnancy scare just a few days ago. I was due on Wednesday, but it didn't come. I ended up slipping it out accidentally to a friend of both myself and the ex. Also then told my friend and she went out with me to get a test on Sunday(Negative! then mother nature hits me the next day, of course.) Anyway, the mutual friend that I accidentally told, told the ex, and he confronted me about it. It didn't end well.
I finally just told him to leave me alone that I never wanted to see or hear from him again. Ever. I said some probably really immature and inappropriate things to get the point across. He ended up blocking me on MSN and then deleting me off facebook. Then I was out with my friend and her BF and our buddy fromt he pizza place last night and we ran into him. He didn't look at me at all. So I'm hoping he's gotten the point and is finally moving on.
The first week was really hard. It was the week of my birthday and everyone blew me off and I had no one. I tried to not let it bother me, but I will admit, that it really hurt.
That weekend, like the 11th/12th, my friend and I had plans to hang out, which we did, but her BF and the ex ended up joining. It didn't make things any easier that I kept seeing him everywhere. I'd go for a walk and I'd see him, go to Mcdonalds, and he'd be there. Go see my friend at work, he'd show up. Later, a friend told me that he toldhim that he was actually following me.
Which also made my friend from the Pizza Parlor get mad and defensive (he thinks he's got a chance with me, but not interested in him in that way) and it really ruined one evening when we were all hanging out (even ex) and all enjoying ourselves until they got into it over me.
I had a pregnancy scare just a few days ago. I was due on Wednesday, but it didn't come. I ended up slipping it out accidentally to a friend of both myself and the ex. Also then told my friend and she went out with me to get a test on Sunday(Negative! then mother nature hits me the next day, of course.) Anyway, the mutual friend that I accidentally told, told the ex, and he confronted me about it. It didn't end well.
I finally just told him to leave me alone that I never wanted to see or hear from him again. Ever. I said some probably really immature and inappropriate things to get the point across. He ended up blocking me on MSN and then deleting me off facebook. Then I was out with my friend and her BF and our buddy fromt he pizza place last night and we ran into him. He didn't look at me at all. So I'm hoping he's gotten the point and is finally moving on.
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Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how you are doing. I hope it's over for good now.
Get out now! This guy is a stalker waiting to happen.
