Originally Posted by lionessrampant
My main concern is that a lot of members have 10 or 15 gifts while several have none. It sort of turns the whole thing into a popularity contest, IMO, and makes the boards more "clique-ish".
This is a general response, and not aimed directly at you, Lioness:
Some people are buying gifts for themselves - I don't see this as a popularity thing. Another poster complained the other day in an email that they feel left out and ignored, but aren't asking for anything in response - how exactly do you respond to that?
The ONLY "inner circle" that I see here with over 1,900 ACTIVE posters is that of the owner, mentors and mods, and that makes complete sense.
No one here excludes anyone else on purpose, it is simply that just like every other aspect of life, friendships tend to form between like-minded people. Why would TCS be any different?
Instead of sitting back and waiting for people to include me, I just jumped right in and started posting my heart out. I don't feel left out, because I am ACTIVE.
I get along better with some than with others, based upon values and perspectives, and while I joke a bit about feeling left out of the pickle group, if I REALLY want one, I can just post until I have enough points to BUY one!
In any group of people, in cyberland or IRL, there will always be smaller circles of people, it is a matter of simple human dynamics. If you aren't bold enough to put yourself out there and STAY out there, then IMO you have no right to complain that you are feeling left out.
I don't mean to sound harsh AT ALL, it is just that I have heard this same kind of complaint in every single kind of group I have ever participated in. If you want to BE a part of things then you HAVE to put yourself out there.
These gifts are virtual and just silly fun, I am positive that there is nothing mean in the fact that there are only so many available at a time, only so many points available to posters to spend, and therefore not everyone is going to get one right away.
And if we don't know who you are, how do we know what kind of gift to give you?
I'm sorry, but these kind of complaints really steam me. Those who are first to complain that they feel excluded are generally those that sit in the back and don't speak up often or at all.