Would you keep a cat if...

[otto]

Originally Posted by SamhainBorn

I did not read this entire post but the "submissive flopping" sounds like my mother's cat. How much socialization did your cat get as a kitten? did it have littermates? My mom's cat suffers from "single kitten syndrome" being the only kittne born in the litter, and she wasn't handled much as a kitten. Now she does do a submissive flop when you want to pick her up or anything.

it's not the soft stretch pet-me pose. she's half on her side and half curled, ears back, eyes mostly closed and very stiff all over, like she's cringing. Is this the behavior of your cat? My mother's cat has gotten better with time, but will probably never be a social, lovey dovey kitty.

Your cat is young enough that you may still have time to help correct this behavior. Now I'll go back and read the other posts and see if anyone said anything similar.

You make a good point. We all may be picturing something different here, when talking about belly exposure.

A cat that flops on the floor, rolls over, stretches out and shows tum, all in a happy way, is showing love and trust. However, even a pose like that, many cats will jump up if someone tries to reach down for that Yummy Tummy. I call this "Lookee, no touchee!"

What you describe is certainly not the same thing at all, not at all.

 

[keke]

Thank you, LDG (and a couple of others), for the helpful post without ridicule. Clearly I am trying to fix things, otherwise I wouldn't have made the post. However, I am frustrated and yes, that will show in my post.

Ironically enough, she is in my lap right now?? I have done the "ignore her" thing except when she runs in an area where she is not allowed for a couple of weeks now and I guess that is working and she may already be starting to trust me now. I will not simply let her run in an area where she is not allowed like someone stated because this is what got my completely healthy 14 yr old cat killed last March.

I'm sorry, but I didn't get a fish, I got a cat, and I do expect her to interact with me somewhat (which she luckily is doing right at this moment). Otherwise, no she is not right for this home. With that said, yes I am working with her. Do you recommend the Feliway diffuser or the spray?

Samhainborn, you hit the nail on the head with the belly up description that she is doing. It is not the "loving" kind. I have had cats all my life, I know the difference. However, this is the first time I've had a cat with potty issues, which is why I am asking for help now.

She is spayed however the 2nd UA will have to wait, I just spent $400 on my other 7 month old kitten who was near death.

 

[darlili]

Well, if the other cat was so sick (and no doubt you were terribly stressed), this kitty is probably all stressed out as well. I really recommend you get her in for another urine analysis as quickly as possible - the stress alone could have caused an UTI, and it's totally uncomfortable - and dangerous.

You've gotten some wonderful advice - especially regarding cleaning, Cat Attract litter, number of boxes, trying to destress yourself as well - but, this little kitten really sounds like she wants to love you. Cats do have different ways of interacting with their human - my girl hates being picked up, and has never sat on my lap - yet she greets at the door every evening, often demands petting, and is usually in the same room with me. My boy is the 'lap cat' - but honestly, I do think they both love me - and I them.

I 've had litter box issues with my boy, and I know it's frustrating while you're trying to figure out how to resolve it, and believe me, they can pick up your frustration as well. But, it's been totally worthwhile earning my boy's trust and love. Actually, learning to calm myself down was a great lesson for me in general - but I do know how box issues can drive you to tears as well.

 

[keke]

Thanks darlili. She has been having litterbox problems ever since we brought her home 5 months ago, but I will go get a 2nd UA as soon as I can.

 

[mira's_mommy]

Originally Posted by KeKe

Would you keep a cat if...you weren't attached to it? If it hardly ever acknowledges you even exist? If they are so submissive that everytime you go to pet them they either roll on their back and show their belly or run off? If they peed on the floor after you've tried everything besides Feliway? If they were only 7 months old and doing this and they've done this for the past 5 months?

Yes I would. I have a cat like this actually. Granted she is eleven years old but I've had her for almost 6 months and she has been this way the whole time. Feliway didn't even fix the problem, and not only does she pee, she SPRAYS. But of course I'm not going to get rid of her. Even if I found a no-kill shelter that would take her (any other shelter would euthanize her before long, I'm sure of it) they would never be able to find her a home, and even if she did get adopted her next owner may not be so understanding and would possibly dump her somewhere or do her harm. Missy and I don't have a very tight bond either but think about it the way I did. Yours is younger than Missy so she would stand a better chance at getting re-homed, but the results are still the same. How could you live with that, if you just gave her up because you didn't want to deal with her only to find out the next person who didn't want to abandoned or mistreated her?

My suggestion: DO try the Feliway. I didn't work for Missy like I said but it made a huge difference in my other cats.

 

[mira's_mommy]

Originally Posted by KeKe

Do you recommend the Feliway diffuser or the spray?

Both. The diffuser alone works great but at first the spray is a big help too. After you clean her pee spots you can spray it there and that can help stop them from going there again. Eventually I stopped using the spray and all but Missy are still doing fine.

 

[ldg]

Feliway definitely does not work for all cats - but it may help both with her stressing and with the peeing.

Feliway is a synthetic hormone that mimics the "friendly" markers in cats' cheeks. When cats scratch, poop, or pee, they are scent marking - but territory marking. When cats rub their heads and cheeks on something, they're like... "claiming" it.

Cats are all about scent - thus Feliway was actually developed to help with inappropriate peeing problems. That said - there are cats that spray ON the diffusers.

But more often than not it does help - and especially to help reduce stress in the environment.

We use the spray, not the diffuser. It's a little more work in that you have to spray it every 3 days. But I like being able to control where I'm placing the scent.

However - a big part of helping Feliway help as a deterrent to kitty peeing in inappropriate places, is getting rid of all the "pee" scent that is around - if you haven't been using an enzyme cleaner. Shampoos, carpet cleaners, or other regular cleaning products that you would normally use to clean up your kitchen floor or whatever will NOT work.

I really, really, really suggest you purchase the Nok Out. The way you use it is basically saturate the affected area, leave it for 15 minutes or so, and then blot it up and let it air dry. You can't cheat and set a space heater near it or use a hair dryer on it - it has to air dry. In the Winter with the dryness, it should only take a day or two. What we do is then just set aluminum foil over the area - both so we remember not to step there, and to help deter kitty from peeing there again while the Nok Out does its work. If, once it's dry, the spot doesn't smell just a tad like chlorine - then you have to do it again.

But buying a black light and going through your home at night to identify all the spots she's used you may have missed (shows up as an orange splotch) and using a good quality enzyme cleaner (Nature's Miracle never worked for us) should go along way to getting all the scents back in the right places.

...and offering her more litter boxes - different types in different places - may also help a lot. You can remove the ones she doesn't really like, but for a while there, when we were going through the same problem, we had about 12 litterboxes around the house (for at the time five cats). FYI, the "rule of thumb" is to have one more litter box than you have cats.

Also, does she like playing? Play is a great way to help cats de-stress.

Do you have any vertical space for her? Cats live in a very 3D world, and having cat furniture often helps just with their general happiness.

Also, we provide "cat TV" for our kitties. We have bird feeders that use suction cups to stick on the windows, and either window perches for the kitties or - in one instance - the back of the couch is right up against the bottom of the window. This is GREAT entertainment for them!

But I'm glad to hear she's coming around - at least on the loving.

If you're still having a problem with the peeing, I think you should consider confining her to one room for "litter box retraining" while you clean up the rest of the house - but only do this if you can spend a good amount of time in there with her. ...but relieving your frustration is important too. We've been there, and it can turn into a cycle of stress.

 

[addiebee]

Hey, KeKe. You have already gotten lots of great advice. I know among the fosters I have some were immediately affectionate, some not. One cat has taken nearly 6 months to truly trust me and seek affection. When I come in through the garage access door - He is there on the table waiting for me. He blinks... I coo at him... and put out a finger to see if he is receptive...sometimes yes... sometimes no. And sometimes he still runs from me... but I see progress. At least--- knock wood -- I haven't had any pee problems in my house.

 

[carolina]

Here are the links for Feliway, the cheapest place to buy it right now is at Amazon - I advise buying the refill and spray as well; shipping is free for over $25...
When Lucky was having Peeing problems, I would clean the area - by soaking with Anti-icky-poo and then I would spray around it with Feliway - that would keep her from peeing on that area. Anti-icky-poo and Nok Out are, IMO the only good odor removers out there... And you need to use LOTS of it - so I would buy a gallon, not a sprayer... You really need to saturate the area, not just cover it.
Feliway Diffuser
Feliway Refill; 3-pack refill
Feliway Spray

 

[gloriajh]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Here are the links for Feliway, the cheapest place to buy it right now is at Amazon - I advise buying the refill and spray as well; shipping is free for over $25...
When Lucky was having Peeing problems, I would clean the area - by soaking with Anti-icky-poo and then I would spray around it with Feliway - that would keep her from peeing on that area. Anti-icky-poo and Nok Out are, IMO the only good odor removers out there... And you need to use LOTS of it - so I would buy a gallon, not a sprayer... You really need to saturate the area, not just cover it.
Feliway Diffuser
Feliway Refill; 3-pack refill
Feliway Spray

?? Why wouldn't plain old white vinegar do the same job as removing the urine odor?? Just curious.

 

[ldg]

Anti-Icky Poo is supposed to be great too - I have never tried it, we were so satisfied with the knock-out.

Bear in mind that the older the cat pee, the more likely it is several enzyme treatements will need to be made.

Gloria, vinegar changes the pH of the area and only works for a short period of time - but when the smell comes back, it makes enzyme cleaners less effective.

...and enzyme cleaners work to basically "eat" the bacteria that causes the odor. While "antibacterial" household cleaners may do the same, almost all of them are ammonia-based, which just reinforces the scent/pee problem, because pee is ammonia-based to begin with.

...at least that is my understanding of it.

 

[ldg]

Oh - I remembered the other question I wanted to ask. Are you sure your kitty isn't having some kind of seizure? Sometimes seizures cause kitties to pee.

 

[gloriajh]

Originally Posted by LDG

Anti-Icky Poo is supposed to be great too - I have never tried it, we were so satisfied with the knock-out.

Bear in mind that the older the cat pee, the more likely it is several enzyme treatements will need to be made.

Gloria, vinegar changes the pH of the area and only works for a short period of time - but when the smell comes back, it makes enzyme cleaners less effective.

...and enzyme cleaners work to basically "eat" the bacteria that causes the odor. While "antibacterial" household cleaners may do the same, almost all of them are ammonia-based, which just reinforces the scent/pee problem, because pee is ammonia-based to begin with.

...at least that is my understanding of it.

Thanks! I'm glad I asked -- very interesting info.

 

[troant]

shame keke, i dont have any advice to give but just hang in there.you obviously love the kitty or you would not have taken the time to ask for advice. dont stress too much, she will come right with some patience , i am sure of it.keep us posted.xx

 

[x-ta-z]

Sorry for your troubles. I haven't had time to read the whole thread so I do not kow if this has been asked before. Is she sterilized? Soleil was peeing all over the place until I got her sterilized.

Hope that helps and hope your worries will go away soon. It's a difficult situation you are in and no one can tell you if you should rehome her or not. Do what your heart tells you.

Good luck!

 

[darlili]

Another product that I've had tremendous luck with (for odor removal, not stain removal) is ZeroOdor - if you have a Bed Bath and Beyond around, you can probably pick it up there. It's a little pricey, but you don't use much, and BB&B has a great return policy if it doesn't work, and I've found it works on all sorts of odor beyond pet issues.

I get my Feliway via Amazon as well - much less expensive. And I live for Cat Attract - best product ever IMO.

Good luck, Keke, and best wishes for a happy 2010 for all of you - I know it's tough to dig up the money for another UA, but it always helps to rule things out. But, I hope you have some luck with the other hints people have provided. As I said, my boy has had issues - I used a lot of the hints myself, and, knock wood, we've been good - the only time he has 'accidents' now have had health-related issues (struvite crystals and soft poo due to meds and a certain food).

 

[ladycat]

I'm actually wondering if it's anything to do with the other kitty,and who came first(?) and such. I made a tough decision over a year ago after splitting with my ex, Jenny cat was the 2nd cat (out of eventually 5) but when a 3rd cat came, he ruined her(bullied her) and I kept them all for years, doing various things and eventually she needed her own room. when we split I went into a small 1 bedroom with to many animals (well she only ever liked 1 cat & not much by the end of all this). I finally made the choice to rehome her only if someone really great came along for her. I found her a home as an only cat where she was much happier and she was having some box issues and apparently no longer does.