When Did You Realize It Was Time To Put Your Cat Down?

[Cat_Herder]

I've had cats most of my life, but admittedly most of my childhood cats didn't stay with us to a ripe old age. Some ran away, some had accidents, some died of disease, one just died out of the blue. I graduated and moved away years before the oldest one kicked the bucket, so I didn't witness the death or the lead up to it.

I've always had this vision that one day, I'll get up in the morning and find my cat Rascal dead in a corner. No muss, no fuss. I'd have her cremated and own a new cat by the weekend.

It's not working out that way.

Rascal has been battling constipation for years, and it's taken a major turn for the worse in 2022. She's lost a lot of weight, and at present she hasn't pooped for several weeks.

I've tried everything I can think of diet-wise. I've spent thousands on vet visits. I've personally gone up her butt with forceps. I've tried some human squeeze-tube enemas that don't appear to have worked. This morning I noticed Pet-emas back in stock so I ordered some. Maybe they'll work. We'll see.

I could blow money on another vet visit, and she might be fine for a month, but then this will happen again because it always happens again.

The smell of her condition, as well as her tendency to leave "butt-prints" everywhere is starting to affect the quality of life for other members of the household. In bed this morning, I declared that I "can't fix old age" so I'll do the right thing and have her euthanized next week.

But how can I? However little eats, she's still Rascal. I gave her a bath this morning, and she was pissed off at me like always. She's currently sitting in my lap as I type this.

Sometimes I look at her and think she's got one foot in the grave. Other times, she perks up and acts fully alive. I don't know what to do here. When the onsite vet shows up to give her the "kill shot" she's going to try and scratch his eyes out. She's not wearing a t-shirt that says "I want to die."

Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get some thoughts out. Rascal is about 15, in case you're wondering.

 

[Mighty Orange]

It's a hard call to make. You have to think about what she is experiencing and the pain she may be in. No matter, cat's don't scream out in pain. Good luck, it is a sad moment in both of your lives.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm so sorry

I don't know if this will help, but one of our members wrote this to help another in this incredibly difficult position;

Sometimes it's when your pet looks at you and you can tell they are just tired. Tired of fighting and trying to get better. Tired of feeling bad and being sick.

Sometimes it is when the bad days out number the good days with no hope for improvement.

Sometimes it is when the vet tells you their advice is to let them go. Although I usually recommend a second opinion.

Sometimes it is when you notice they have lost quality of life. Not grooming, not eating, not able to get comfortable to rest, not able to get into their bed or on their favorite sleeping spot, etc.

Sometimes it is when the illness has changed their personality to the point you don't recognize them and they don't recognize you (adding on terminal illness and no chance of improvement).

Sometimes it is when they still have relatively good quality of life but you have 100% confidence in diagnosis that they have very little time left and it is starting to show signs that it will get bad soon and quickly.

Sometimes it is when the treatment is worse then the disease and doesn't show signs of working.

It's never an easy or simple choice. I've had the one who fought and fought but lost his battle. We let him go when he didn't recognize us because the cancer affected his brain. I've had one I let go on the operating table because the vet said it would only prolong his suffering to keep fighting with very little chance of success. I've had the one where we waited too long and she suffered before we could get to the vet. And of course, I've had those who go quietly into that dark night without even a whisper of why or how before they go. It's more traumatic to wait too long but you'll always wonder if you could have had one more day.

If you are asking the question, have an honest conversation with your vet about options, long term prognosis and treatment options. It helps to have all the facts and make a decision from there.

 

[cejhome]

I read or heard years ago, don't remember when/where/how, but I think its good advice and my husband and I take it to heart and used it to guide us when we had to put cats to sleep in the past: When they can't enjoy the three of their most favorite things anymore its time. Age and how they handle vet visits, of course have a big part as well.

 

[Cat_Herder]

It's one of those nagging things. Like "she could have years ahead of her if she'd only poop."

I'm going to try feeding her some milk with a syringe later. Already tried with mineral oil. If nothing I do in the next few days helps, then I may have to face up to it. It just sucks.

As far as the vet goes, he told me last time that the next step beyond enemas is bowel removal surgery. It's expensive, and no guarantee it'll fix everything.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi
What kind of milk--Kitten Milk Replacer type of milk?

By the way, I couldn't help but wonder, what are you feeding her?

 

[Cat_Herder]

Hi
What kind of milk--Kitten Milk Replacer type of milk?

By the way, I couldn't help but wonder, what are you feeding her?

I've fed her all sorts of things, but mostly fish-based Fancy Feast in gravy. Over the years, that's been the food she tolerated the best without getting blocked up

For a couple months I was blending it to a pulp with added pumpkin, as well as various meds and over-the-counter additives. Right now though, she barely touches anything I give her because she doesn't have the room. She'll sometimes drink the liquid parts.

I was going to give her this Fairlife lactose-free milk because she's enjoyed it in the past.

 

[Furballsmom]

Poor sweetie and you too

 

[FeebysOwner]

I realize that this is not actually the direction you were intending, but have you ever taken Rascal to an internal med specialist, or consulted with a vet university? They sometimes have experience with treatments/solutions that 'regular' vets aren't always exposed to. I know you said you have spent thousands of dollars on her care, so I presume you have had ultrasounds or CT scans done on her intestines? Those are the things that come to my mind first, even with a 15yo cat.

Aside from that, I do know that no matter how many times other cats have gone through similar situations, that no two are alike. And, while it is comforting to hear others' thoughts on how they view/handle an older cat's final years, there is no way to compare theirs with yours. Most are working with hindsight, which changes their viewpoint in terms of how it impacts Rascal and you. There is no 'grand guide', just many wise words that maybe can help you to make a decision if you feel you need to have input. Just don't use any of them to make that final decision. That has to come from your gut and is between Rascal and you, alone.

 

[Cat_Herder]

I realize that this is not actually the direction you were intending, but have you ever taken Rascal to an internal med specialist, or consulted with a vet university? They sometimes have experience with treatments/solutions that 'regular' vets aren't always exposed to. I know you said you have spent thousands of dollars on her care, so I presume you have had ultrasounds or CT scans done on her intestines? Those are the things that come to my mind first, even with a 15yo cat.

Aside from that, I do know that no matter how many times other cats have gone through similar situations, that no two are alike. And, while it is comforting to hear others' thoughts on how they view/handle an older cat's final years, there is no way to compare theirs with yours. Most are working with hindsight, which changes their viewpoint in terms of how it impacts Rascal and you. There is no 'grand guide', just many wise words that maybe can help you to make a decision if you feel you need to have input. Just don't use any of them to make that final decision. That has to come from your gut and is between Rascal and you, alone.

She gets scanned with each visit to the vet. Each time it reveals a troubling picture of poop backed up throughout her digestive tract. But only that. No other readily diagnosible conditions. She did have a crystal in there around 5 years ago, and was pissing blood every few minutes. Still can't believe she lived through that.

The idea of a specialist or university is interesting. I'll at least give it thought.

 

[Dos Gatos]

Honestly, when to make that decision is different for everyone and everyone is about what you are comfortable with. For me and my husband, we are most comfortable with when they stop being themselves and are obviously debilitated.
We had to make that decision in May for our 17yo cat Echo. She suffered constipation for years and ended up with very poor gastric motility. She lost a ton of weight and in the last year of her life she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and kidney disease. The last year was rough, with frequent hospitalizations and many meds. But she was still herself until the last month. She went down to 4lbs (from 15 at her highest and 9 lbs 9 months prior), she suddenly started urinating outside the litter box, was wobbly and just seemed distant. Her body was obviously shutting down and what made her Echo was fading. The last night of her life was pretty heartbreaking but selfishly it made it crystal clear that we were making the right decision by letting her go.

 

[louisstools]

It's when either you or the cat no longer have fight left in you.

I put my boy down when I had no fight left in me for caring for him with his terminal cancer. Feeding him 20 times a day for 3 months was all I had in me. He probably had another month left in him but I was spent.

His sister cat I've had nothing but problems with since he passed. Six months of fighting and chasing her to eat. UTIs. Constipation. Spending hours each day chasing her to feed her and diagnose why she's not eating, etc. She's slowly getting better but still spending 2 hours a day getting her to eat. At one point before she became willing to eat we were at the vet's office discussing putting her down because the quality of my life was shit.

If I didn't work from home I'd probably have had to put her down by now. Travel is a part of my job and if they ever flex that on me I don't know what I'll do. My vet's office has a boarding deal but with her eating problems even they wouldn't take her. I'd have to check her into their hospital which instead of $25 a day is $300.

 

[Cat_Herder]

Status Update: I put Rascal down, here at home yesterday. It was horrifying to watch, and Rascal fought it like I thought she would, but I think I made the best choice I could.

Her condition was only getting worse, day by day, and my attempts to help her were falling short. I didn't think I could put her through any more.

I'll tell you this much, I don't think I can do it again. With my next cat I'm starting a medical savings account, and whatever surgeries she might need in old age, she's going to receive. If she dies on the operating table then at least I'll know her death wasn't ordered by me.

Thank you for your perspectives.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, I'm so very very sorry .

RIP, babygirl

 

[Alldara]

C Cat_Herder I'm sorry for your loss its never an easy decision.

For similar reasons, I chose pet insurance for my new cats. Being young, there's no pre-existing conditions and I can choose more expensive treatments knowing I get up to $1,000 reimbursed per condition. It costs me only $25/month and the wait period was only 2 weeks.

I really had to look at some quality of life scales to really understand what was happening and make a decision with Lily. Doubley difficult was that I had to wait too long as the pandemic meant most places wouldn't let me in with her. As a many times over abandoned cat, it was not acceptable to me for her to die without me. I went on a wait list and asked that they see me before her pain medication ran out. It was past time for sure, and that was traumatic for me.

Quality of Life Scale for Pets online calculator

 

[fionasmom]

I am very sorry for your loss. You certainly tried, over the years, to insure that Rascal received all the care that you could give her. It is unsettling when they fight at the end; I have had that happen a couple of times. Going into the stories is not going to help, but in both cases it was unquestionably the right course of action, despite how upsetting it was. You did not order anyone's death.

There is a lot of info on TCS about pet insurance. I have all of my cats insured and, despite paying premiums, it has been well worth it. Personally, I recommend insurance with/in place of a medical savings account. One can hit the thousands pretty quickly, even with a younger cat.

 

[Cat_Herder]

Was looking at Trupanion and got a quote since I posted earlier. While it's not as much of an investment as a savings account would be, it does have the potential to cover more, and the peace of mind is appealing.

Because if I had it to do over again, I would've wanted to deny Rascal nothing in terms of medical help.

 

[fionasmom]

It does not sound as if you denied her care at all.

Several TCS members have Trupanion and are very happy with them, but take the time to investigate some of the other major companies when you feel up to it.

 

[Cat_Herder]

It does not sound as if you denied her care at all.

Several TCS members have Trupanion and are very happy with them, but take the time to investigate some of the other major companies when you feel up to it.

Honestly, if I wasn't counting pennies I could have just gotten her the bowel removal surgery, and probably saved money in the long run. She might still be here.

I know, you could spend eternity second-guessing the choices you've made, and the financial aspect isn't trivial. But weighed against the experience I had yesterday, I wish things had been different.

 

[Mighty Orange]

I'm so sorry for your loss.