My husband is an alcoholic and can't handle the responsibilities of a family or family expenses. He decided he is moving back with his mommy (yes Im being sarcastic). I can't help but hate his monther right now after everything she has said and done to him and always talks about how she wont ever let him move in because of his drinking and now she is. I guess in a way I feel like everyone needs to stop bailing him out of his situations and make him take responsibility(including me). He's always blaming me for his problems and his drinking. I want him to stop, but I know in my heart he never will.. We have been down this road before and decided to move almost 100 miles away from this woman because he was drinking heavily and he knew it was her who would prompt it. When we moved, I quit my VERY well paying job and moved to the country where he said he would be happy. For the first few months everything was fine. Never said anything bout be working. He was making VERY good money and we didnt have any problems. Well because he had a "bad" day at work, he started the drinking again and quit his job. He hasnt had a decent job over $9/hr since. I tried working nights weekend, anything but anytime I would, withen a week, he would pull one of his binges and go off for a day or two and I had no babysitter and had to quit my job or got fired because I had to leave work when my 7yr old called me sayin "mom, he's passed out on the floor again and Deacon (3yr old ) is getting into everything". But of course all this is MY fault. He ended up going too far one night with his drinking and I had him put in jail but of course stupid me, I bailed him out on all the empty promises of he would quit. Well, just 24 hours of me having all the charges dropped he didnt come home for 3 days. Went on a binge with the same guys who he always parties with at work. Now a week later he decides he's going to quit his job, and start drinking. He has been going back and forth between"ok I will stop drinking and stay but you have to get a job and help" to "Im fed up with Florida and all the jerks here. Im moving to Alabama". I am tired of the ups and downs and want stability. He's leaving me with over $1000 worth of bills, and thats not even counting moving expenses. I have busted my rear to save this marriage and it just can't be done. I have to move BACK almost 100 miles to be around my family who is going to help me. He says all these hurtful things to me and I don't want him around me. He's so negative all the time, which puts EVERYONE in a bad mood. he's not the father of my children, but he has been the only father my youngest has ever known. And the poor thing is so upset that his daddy is gone. I will be the first to admit, that he has hurt me so much that I want him to suffer too. I know he can find someone else in life because he is a great looking guy, and very sweet, but he has alot and I do mean ALOT of skeletons in his closet. I'm sorry if Im babbling on and on but my head isnt on straight and I feel like I have to get this all off my chest!
I gave him alot besides unconditional love, understanding, support.
I bought him alot of material things, including paying our moving expenses, his first vehicle (at 28?), you name it, I did it for him including leaving my family who said "dont go you'll regret it".
I now almost wish that I let him rot in jail because maybe then it would have proved he can't do these things to people but it bit me in the rear and showed him that someone will ALWAYS be there to get him out of trouble. Im also so confused because I do still love him and when I think of all the good and happy time/things that have happened I want to break down and cry, kick and scream.
This is my 2nd marriage, 2nd divorce. All I can do is focus on the negative to hold the hate for him to keep from having a breakdown.
I cried and begged him to stay and he did for a few more days but it seemed to make the situation worse. I prayed and cried all this last weekend to God while he was off drinking, that if he didn't want this to work, to please show or tell me, I think he is now.
It's one of those situations where it's hard to swallow the truth and reality, but I have to learn to get it out of my heart and mind that no matter what even when he quits drinking and goes X amount of time w/o drinking that it will always be on his mind because it's his scapegoat to keep from dealing with things.
The next few weeks are going to be hard because I have never had to physically move my family on my own w/o someone's help. Now is a good time to learn huh?
I hate to admit this, but it keeps crossing my mind of, "well maybe just some time apart will do us some good and he will come back" but I contradict myself when I think that because I know it would be best if he didnt....
WOW. Am I confused or what? lol
Im sorry I am so long winded and things are all mixed up in this post but I can't keep my thoughts striaght...If anyone has any advice I am willing to hear it.
Thanks for listenting and let me vent, Im sure there will be more lol
I gave him alot besides unconditional love, understanding, support.
I bought him alot of material things, including paying our moving expenses, his first vehicle (at 28?), you name it, I did it for him including leaving my family who said "dont go you'll regret it".
I now almost wish that I let him rot in jail because maybe then it would have proved he can't do these things to people but it bit me in the rear and showed him that someone will ALWAYS be there to get him out of trouble. Im also so confused because I do still love him and when I think of all the good and happy time/things that have happened I want to break down and cry, kick and scream.
This is my 2nd marriage, 2nd divorce. All I can do is focus on the negative to hold the hate for him to keep from having a breakdown.
I cried and begged him to stay and he did for a few more days but it seemed to make the situation worse. I prayed and cried all this last weekend to God while he was off drinking, that if he didn't want this to work, to please show or tell me, I think he is now.
It's one of those situations where it's hard to swallow the truth and reality, but I have to learn to get it out of my heart and mind that no matter what even when he quits drinking and goes X amount of time w/o drinking that it will always be on his mind because it's his scapegoat to keep from dealing with things.
The next few weeks are going to be hard because I have never had to physically move my family on my own w/o someone's help. Now is a good time to learn huh?
I hate to admit this, but it keeps crossing my mind of, "well maybe just some time apart will do us some good and he will come back" but I contradict myself when I think that because I know it would be best if he didnt....
WOW. Am I confused or what? lol
Im sorry I am so long winded and things are all mixed up in this post but I can't keep my thoughts striaght...If anyone has any advice I am willing to hear it.
Thanks for listenting and let me vent, Im sure there will be more lol