Update on my situation

[ugaimes]

Originally Posted by Loveysmummy

I vote for wanting him to leave and go live with his mom.
It sounds like you have a caring family who will help and support you through this.
And you have two darlin'

boys (saw their pic in another thread) who are counting on you to keep them happy and safe.
Seek out your own help now (alanon/counselling) and give yourself the happiness you deserve.
You have friends here who will do all they can to support this decision.

I am hoping for the best for you. You must be so stressed out.

You said it all so well!
There's not too much I could add without getting terribly personal. I will tell you that I specialize (professionally) in abusive relationships, so please feel free to PM me if you ever want help with anything that you are going through. You and your precious boys are in my prayers now

.

 

[cyberkitten]

I can't offer more than any of the others except that he is an alcoholic because HE chooses to be and it is no fault of anyone else, certainly not you. While I loathe the word enabler (reminds me of Dr. Phil, lol), anyone who helps him continue this track of self destruction is an enabler incl you and his mother. If his mother wants to continue the role, let her take him back. I know how difficult this can be but in the long term, your life will be much better than coping with the ups and downs of life and the inevitable uncertainties that rings with an alcoholic (or anyone with an addiction for that matter). I do wish you luck - you may want to try counselling for yourself and there are many groups who provide help to families of alcholics. Good luck!!

 

[dixie_darlin]

He's FINALLY leaving saturday. It's just not gonna work. He didnt pay the rent this week so I have until Sept 4th to move out.. Fun fun, he's not helping with anything, the move, the costs anything. He got drunk AGAIN tonight and started his BS.. I am SO over this! Im glad to be moving back to where all my friends and family are. I have been away from them for a year and god I miss them!

 

[lionessrampant]

Stay strong...you are in my thoughts!!

Good for you on walking away from a horrible situation. Your life is much too short and precious to have to deal with BS like that. Sometimes, the healthiest thing to do is to turn around and walk away.

 

[dawnofsierra]

What a difficult time for you! You know we're here to support you at any time.

Let's merge this with your other thread so all of your information and all you've been going through is right here in one place for all of us to share with you.

 

[loveysmummy]

Originally Posted by emmysamson

I feel very sorry for what you and your children are going through. I would just like to add my two cents. My own mother was married twice to very abusive "men" and I use that term loosely. The first was a convicted child molester. He is also unfortunately my "biological" father. She divorced him AFTER he was convicted...I was 5 years old, and know first hand he was guilty of the crime that he claims he was "framed" for. I was too scared to tell my mother until I turned 18. I am not looking for, nor do I want any pity for that! Then when I was 11, my mother married another "wonderful man". A year after she married him, he became very abusive, physically and emotionally towards me. He was a complete a$$hole. My brother and I were removed from the home 3 months before my 15th birthday and placed in foster care. Finally, about 3 months after my 21st birthday, she left him. She had a woman friend that had just recently moved down to Virginia (my mom and I are from PA) and one day she finally decided she had enough. She filled up a trash bag with the first things she saw, and went down to Virginia with just $100 in her pocket. A year after she left, she met an honest-to goodness, truly wonderful man named unfortunately, Dick. He loved her very much, treated my brother and I like part of his family, even though we were both grown. They became engaged 2 years later. In June of 2000, she was diagnosed with cancer and given 2 months to 2 years to live. She made it 2 months. August 11, 2000 my mother was gone. She had only 6 years of knowing unconditional love. On Thanksgiving Eve of 2001, I called Dick to wish him a Happy Thanksgiving. Even though it had been a little over a year since she died, he was still crying for her. He told me how much he missed her. The next morning his son called me, to say Dick just had a massive stroke and died. That may be the official cause of death, but I know the real cause was a broken heart.
I am telling you all this...not for pity....but because I want you to learn from my mother. YOU ARE NOT GUARANTEED TOMORROW!!! My mother got to know only 6 years....6 years!!! of happiness. She was only 48 years old. You have to ask yourself this....If I were to die tomorrow, do I want to die crying over this man?
I am praying for you and your children. I hope all works out for you. PM me if you need to talk.

Ginger

Thanks for sharing that Ginger. You must be a very strong soul

 

[loveysmummy]

Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256

He's FINALLY leaving saturday. It's just not gonna work. He didnt pay the rent this week so I have until Sept 4th to move out.. Fun fun, he's not helping with anything, the move, the costs anything. He got drunk AGAIN tonight and started his BS.. I am SO over this! Im glad to be moving back to where all my friends and family are. I have been away from them for a year and god I miss them!

It may not seem like it now but this is your window beginning to open, girl.

Jump out.

I am glad that you are looking towards a positive beginning.
In a year, you will look back at this and know you did the right thing for you and the kids.
Good luck. Stay strong. Take care.

 

[ginger's mum]

Man, he sounds just like my Dad!
Mum kicked him out for that same reason and he went to live with his Mummy too, she said come back to your children when you can choose us over booze, never happened.
25 years later, Mummy and Daddy have died, he was kicked out of another relationship for the same reason and now wonders why no-one wants to talk to him, including his own sisters.
Mum went to Al-anon and it really helped her to understand it was his choice not her fault.
Stay strong for your kids sake, they need you a whole lot more than him.