Tumour near windpipe - terminal

[Furrywurrypurry]

That picture is one of the most valuable things in the world to me. It was basically the moment we said goodbye to one another. I can’t yet look at it without crying but one day I’d like to get it framed. Maybe I’ll share it when it’s not so raw.
Her fur is growing back yes, it’s nowhere near fully grown yet im just concerned if it grows back fully it’ll be very obscure. If i approached her with a tape measure or clippers there would be a precious shaped hole in the wall Smeagols fur never grew back, he had wispy long bits but was almost as bald as the day he had his ultrasound when he passed. I always assumed it was the steroids but precious hair seems to be growing quite uniformly?
I’m not concerned about the cough thing at the moment as you say it’s likely nothing. But my goodness it’s been one long miserable season. It’s like autumn, winter and spring have merged into one long dank, grim squib. I don’t know where you’re based (uk here) but there doesn’t seem to have been a differentiation between any of the seasons since an extreme heatwave last summer. Since then it’s just been grey and rainy and damp.
I don’t have any concerns with her food wise currently, her getting a bit bored is normal behaviour. Tbh when there are any issues surrounding food that arise with her that’s when I’ll know we are in bad waters. I read these stories of people with picky cats and am so thankful that mine have always been gluttons .
Aw what a poignant milestone to hit. I’m glad you had the comfort of your other furry little souls. It doesn’t make you miss the one you’ve lost any less but they definitely help to make you feel less alone. There are times I wondered if I made a mistake getting Gollum when I did, but he’s keeping me sane at the moment. If I hadn’t have gotten him and was facing losing precious with no one left behind I know this would be so much worse. I hope the day wasn’t too hard on you

 

[iPappy]

If you ever decide to share that photo I would love to see it. But absolutely no rush. It will be there when you're ready, and sometimes just knowing it's there is the most comfort. One of my very close (human) friends passed away 10 years ago, and a mutual friend came by with an envelope of photos of us he had taken over the years. It took me almost NINE YEARS to look at her photos. I just wasn't ready until then, and when I did I found myself smiling and laughing. I took a photo of Tag on his 13th birthday. He rocked it in performance events his entire life, and he has over 200 ribbons, so I hung them all up on a gate, and placed his plaque and some other things he won, put him in the center and took some photos. I love that photo and will probably order a high quality print, framed. We heal when we heal and there's no set time frame for that.
" If i approached her with a tape measure or clippers there would be a precious shaped hole in the wall" That got me good, LOL! OK, so measuring is not a good idea! Do you think your vet would want it shaved down to monitor or do they think they could keep an eye on it based on feel? One of my cats that was on prednisone developed almost twice the hair he had before (bad, because he hated being brushed and was very fluffy.) I've heard other people say that their cats develop an extra thick, extra soft coat on prednisone.
My cats are gluttons too! I've only found a few things they will not eat. When Lila was a kitten she would spill her dry food into her water bowl then "fish" for it, sending soaked kibble and water all over her pen, all over the floor, etc. Then she'd get in the litter box and dig! I'm glad she outgrew that!
I'm in Ohio, USA, and I think we might be experiencing the same weather patterns. The joke in Ohio has always been something along the lines of "We'll wake up early and go sledding, then have a BBQ in shorts and tank tops by lunch." The weather is just nutty!
I am very, very happy you have Gollum for all the reasons you describe. It sounds very familiar, too. When Tag was 11 I went on a random hunt to bring another puppy home even though puppies were never his "thing." I wanted to bring one in for all the reasons you described (for myself), but I wanted to do it while he was still young enough and happy enough to not be so negatively affected. Had I waited another year or so, there would have been no way. Livie came home and Tag seemed a little annoyed for awhile but he grew to tolerate her and even kind of like her. Same with my cats. I found Lila when my older cats were about 5, and now that they're all teenagers and Lila is soon to be 9 I know the loss is going to be rough. Lila would accept a kitten, and Goof would too but I wouldn't put that on the older girls. It's really amazing how quickly they become our little family.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

I think in time I’ll want to look at it and want to share it. Or at least I hope to, it’ll mean that it hurts somewhat less. I will be forever grateful for getting that moment of pure love to say goodbye to him. I enjoy looking at other pictures of him, but that one, the memories of that day are still all too fresh. That photo of Tag sounds so beautiful. And it sounds like he was an absolute champion. So many wonderful accomplishments, 200 ribbons, my gosh what a star!!

Honestly, she’s a funny one, she only needs to believe your ‘thinking’ of doing something with her and she will vanish . I think the second vet I saw who performed the ultrasound has a good gauge based on feel. She immediately knew it was bigger when I saw her last. And so I’ll probably request to see that vet when I next take her in.

Oh wow, I guess maybe it was smeagols cancer that stopped his hair from growing then. He completely stopped shedding and his bald spot never regrew. He never had chemo or anything like that just the pred. I guess it’s possible he just wasn’t processing nutrients correctly if the tumour was taking a lot of them, perhaps hair growth was sacrificed?

Can totally relate to the changeable weather. They really do just melt into your heart and home in the blink of an eye. It sounds like you are content with your fur family as it is for the time being. I think for me when we say goodbye to precious, Gollum will be an only ‘child’ for a while at least. Besides what’s happening with Precious and losing Smeagol there have been a lot of changes in the last few years for me and I think perhaps I need time to stand still for a while, to just get used to things being different before I change anything else. My husband desperately wants a dog so maybe that’ll be in our future. There will most certainly always be cats

 

[iPappy]

I think in time I’ll want to look at it and want to share it. Or at least I hope to, it’ll mean that it hurts somewhat less. I will be forever grateful for getting that moment of pure love to say goodbye to him. I enjoy looking at other pictures of him, but that one, the memories of that day are still all too fresh. That photo of Tag sounds so beautiful. And it sounds like he was an absolute champion. So many wonderful accomplishments, 200 ribbons, my gosh what a star!!

Honestly, she’s a funny one, she only needs to believe your ‘thinking’ of doing something with her and she will vanish . I think the second vet I saw who performed the ultrasound has a good gauge based on feel. She immediately knew it was bigger when I saw her last. And so I’ll probably request to see that vet when I next take her in.

Oh wow, I guess maybe it was smeagols cancer that stopped his hair from growing then. He completely stopped shedding and his bald spot never regrew. He never had chemo or anything like that just the pred. I guess it’s possible he just wasn’t processing nutrients correctly if the tumour was taking a lot of them, perhaps hair growth was sacrificed?

Can totally relate to the changeable weather. They really do just melt into your heart and home in the blink of an eye. It sounds like you are content with your fur family as it is for the time being. I think for me when we say goodbye to precious, Gollum will be an only ‘child’ for a while at least. Besides what’s happening with Precious and losing Smeagol there have been a lot of changes in the last few years for me and I think perhaps I need time to stand still for a while, to just get used to things being different before I change anything else. My husband desperately wants a dog so maybe that’ll be in our future. There will most certainly always be cats

I would definitely request to see the same vet, make sure to call well in advance so you can see the vet you want as they still seem to be booked out quite a bit.
It's funny how cats sometimes can't seem to understand us when we are telling them to stay off the bed for 12 seconds so we can make it, or they're told over and over to get off the counters or table, but clean their ears or trim nails once and they can sense you thinking about it a mile away! I had a cat like Precious when I was in my 20's, he was so paranoid anytime he even thought you were going to do something mildly unpleasant and he was always right, he ALWAYS knew when you were thinking about how you were going to do something to him that he didn't like!
I understand about keeping things quiet for awhile and standing still before changing anything else. Every time I lose one I immediately begin searching for another yet not once have I actually gone through with it so soon. At one time, I had 7 cats at work, 3 cats at home, 2 dogs at home, and one dog who split his time evenly between home and work. It was a circus but it was so fun, and everyone got along so well.
I'm not sure about that hair loss, it could have been the pred, the cancer, or maybe he had that type of coat that just doesn't grow back fast after being shaved. One of mine had blood work and there was the tiniest little shave spot on their leg, and it took forever to grow back in. IDK why. Tag unfortunately developed plaque like sores all over his body and they had to be clipped off, and the hair never ever regrew.
Our weather is finally clearing! I'm anxious to open the windows and let some fresh air into this place, I think it would do us all some good!

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

Sorry for going missing for a few days. I had to have a couple of days just not thinking about things.
Will definitely request the same vet. She’s still doing brilliantly at the minute and so see no reason to stress her out by going for a check up.
Haha yes!!! They pretend not to understand human words but they telepathy down to a tee. She’s a funny little sort. So affectionate with head nudges and enjoys a good brushing but if you touch her anywhere she disapproves of at that moment in time she will look at you in disgust, lick her lips and flounce off with her tail in the air. She makes this noise think of Marge Simpson when she disapproves of something it’s like ‘hmmmmrrrrr’ I often refer to her as Marge.

I’m sure we will add to our family one day. I find these things have a way of happening when you least expect and for reasons you can’t possibly argue with.
I never considered that it might just be his hair type but it’s entirely possible since the only other time he was ever shaved was a little patch on his leg when he was neutered.
Ah that’s wonderful!! We had what I would call the first semi decent weather day of the year yesterday, today it’s torrential rain

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

The decline has started. It’s not drastic, just little things, more sleep, less interaction ieating slightly less, urinating other place it’s how it began with Smeagol and we had a couple of weeks left once this started to occur. The tumour has definitely grown, I can feel it going up in the direction of her ear when it was never that far up before. The vet advised on Friday that given the location of the tumour that we should begin discussing euthanasia. She said they could attempt to remove the lump but as we had previously discussed the likelihood of her surviving the op would be slim, and they wouldn’t be removing it to cure her just to relieve pressure. I won’t even consider that for her. Her quality of life is still good but the vet has said this only goes one way from here and the tumour will without a doubt restrict either or all of blood flow, oxygen flow and swallowing pretty soon. It’s difficult because she is so much herself still but I’ll never forgive myself if she goes into respiratory distress or has a stroke or some other vascular event because I hang on to her for too long. And so I think the time for beginning to say goodbye has come. She has begun to acquire that look, the one that says ‘I’m tired’. I’m wrestling with it, I know in my logical brain that the vet isn’t giving this advice lightly, it just feels a little too soon. But I think with precious it’s not a case of quality of life it’s a case or this tumour is expanding in a place where she will suffer grave consequences pretty rapidly. I knew this would happen fast but you’re never ready are you. She still seems so ‘her’ but then I wouldn’t want her to not be and I guess that’s the point. I think or should I say hope that we maybe have a few days or a week left, but I think I’d be selfish to wait any longer than that

 

[Furballsmom]

you’re never ready are you. She still seems so ‘her’ but then I wouldn’t want her to not be and I guess that’s the point.

Oh hon. You, and she, have my heart

 

[iPappy]

No, we are never ever truly ready. This is the part of pet ownership we absolutely hate.
My thoughts are with you all. I am so sorry things are looking grim. Please keep us updated whenever you're able.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

Guys, I’m thinking of getting her reassessed. She’s eaten like a crazy lady this morning, seems bright and moving around as normal etc. This isn’t about me wanting more time with her which of course I do, but I’d made peace over the weekend with letting her go, however, she seems to have bounced back, and as her behaviour stands today I’m really not comfortable with making that final choice. I knew with my boy that it was right, nothing this morning sits right with me about doing this now. If the vets stand by their assessment then I’ll do whats necessary but I have to be at peace with the decision and have zero doubt and right now that’s not where I am. I’m not allowing her any unnecessary suffering by doing this as we planned on having more time with her yet anyway, she just seems too healthy today. She is definitely slowing a bit and gets that weary look from time to time so I know we are on a one way road but she seems to healthy if that makes sense.

 

[iPappy]

By ALL MEANS do it! Tell the vet everything you have seen.

 

[fionasmom]

I completely agree that reassessing is a valid alternative. Are you going to a different practice for this? I don't know what your options are, but sometimes going to a different vet at the same practice means that they back each other up.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

When I say reassessed. I want to have another conversation with the vet. I’m seeing the second vet that has treated her, I feel she has a better grasp on the size of the tumour. I’ve been going over it and I’m not clear in my head how much of their conclusion is based on tumour size and how much is based on the way I described her health a few days ago. On Friday I was concerned for her, she seemed withdrawn, she wasn’t following me as normal when I got up, she didn’t eat very much, her resting respiratory rate was about 5 breaths per minute slower than it had been, and she just looked a little fed up. She perked up a little over the weekend and today you pretty much wouldn’t know there’s anything wrong. If their initial conclusion was based on decline in quality of life because of what I had said then she has improved. Perhaps she was just having a not so good couple of days last week. If the assessment is based purely on tumour size which it does appear to have spread to the other side of her throat, then quality of life isn’t relevant. I just need to be sure. It’s never an easy choice to make but I need to be as sure as I can be that it’s the right choice. We have an appointment this afternoon. I’m not trying to cling on, I just need to be sure.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

We have a reprieve!!!!!!
So vet said based on examining the tumour which has increased somewhat but is still contained to the area, and what I explained today that we’ve had a few bumps in the road and she’s clearly slowing a little at times, that she is fine to stay with us for a while.
She was very Frank in saying that you can’t ever really be too hasty in these situations since she is only going to get progressively worse but that currently if we are not ready to let her go then she isn’t in a place of suffering right now. Personally I can’t take the final step knowing she is still living a decent life. And she reassured me that the likelihood of her presenting any kind of medical emergency is slim and will kind of only happen if for any reason the tumour swells through infection etc. the pace at which it is growing is highly unlikely to cause any kind of catastrophic event. We will likely just see her become less inclined to eat and her breathing will heavier but these definitely won’t be things that happen from one hour to the next and that was my gravest concern.

I am so glad I followed my feelings and got a second opinion, the other lady I saw is greek and so I don’t know if I’ve misunderstood her or if her opinion is just different but today has allayed many of the fears that have been making a total emotional basket case. Not only is she with us for longer, she’s not going to suddenly deteriorate within the hour, she will, like my boy, gradually just not want to be here anymore and I know what that looks like. I’ve been petrified, waking in the night, every night to check she’s still alive. I know the outcome is still the same, I’m still going to lose her soon but not yet and not in the way I feared.
Today is a good day

 

[fionasmom]

This is wonderful news! While I am not a vet, it seems to me that you will see slowly increasing signs of involvement if/when the tumor continues to grow. The overnight jump from okay to inability to breathe is unlikely, as the vet told you. You are so vigilant with her that I am sure that you will not miss any changes in her well being.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

This is wonderful news! While I am not a vet, it seems to me that you will see slowly increasing signs of involvement if/when the tumor continues to grow. The overnight jump from okay to inability to breathe is unlikely, as the vet told you. You are so vigilant with her that I am sure that you will not miss any changes in her well being.

Ah thank you!! Yes this seems to be the case although it wasn’t abundantly clear when she was diagnosed. Or perhaps I was so dazed with everything I didn’t take it onboard?
It’s quite clear now though and it gives me a modicum of peace moving forward. I try to be, but as I’m sure we all feel at times, its hard not to wonder if we miss something. Thank you so much for your kindness, it means so much to me, particularly at this difficult time .

 

[iPappy]

I am so, so, so very happy that the vet gave her a good exam and was able to give you some peace of mind. As fionasmom said, you are very vigilant and have a great eye for how she is acting and can tell when she is feeling unwell. My Levi had a small (not visible) tumor on his windpipe for a few years before it grew into the position where it was causing problems, and never once did he collapse onto his side or gasp for air. It was a very slow progression. You seem to know her well enough to notice if she doesn't look or act herself, and I'm sure if something comes up with her, you'll notice immediately.

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

iPappy thank you so much for this. It gives me peace beyond belief to know that my worst fears are not a reality. I can’t tell you what a tower of strength you’ve been through all of this. My head fell off completely over the last week or so, almost like the pressure of he last 7 months finally reached boiling point. But in the last two days I’ve felt somewhat more like myself again, less erratic, more stable emotionally and it’s not just the vet verdict, it’s the reassurance and care that I’ve received here. I will continue to watch and be aware with her and update here as we go along. There’s a little tiny bit of me that has serious belief that she might not be going anywhere for a little while, but don’t tell anyone I said that

 

[iPappy]

iPappy thank you so much for this. It gives me peace beyond belief to know that my worst fears are not a reality. I can’t tell you what a tower of strength you’ve been through all of this. My head fell off completely over the last week or so, almost like the pressure of he last 7 months finally reached boiling point. But in the last two days I’ve felt somewhat more like myself again, less erratic, more stable emotionally and it’s not just the vet verdict, it’s the reassurance and care that I’ve received here. I will continue to watch and be aware with her and update here as we go along. There’s a little tiny bit of me that has serious belief that she might not be going anywhere for a little while, but don’t tell anyone I said that

You've had so much going on in such a short amount of time, it's no wonder you were so stressed! I am so happy that you're feeling overall more like yourself. You deserve some peace and some rest!
When Tag was sick, the vet constantly reminded me that optimism is very important because if we radiate that happiness, it will rub off on them. Even if it doesn't cure them, it makes their time here so much better. (I can't say I stuck to that 100% of the time, but I really did try, and I do think it helped us both!) The vet also told me to treat him based on his overall symptoms, not just a diagnosis, and we treated the dog, not (only) the disease.
Please keep us updated if you can!

 

[Furrywurrypurry]

She’s gone.

The sweetest most gentle and beautiful soul I’ve ever had the good fortune to encounter in both the human and animal world.

We unfortunately had to facilitate her passing about 6 hours ago, but it was more peaceful and stress free than I imagined given her shy and reclusive nature.

I haven’t been around for a while because well, I was struggling, I had to regroup for a while but I managed to get back on an even keel and have enjoyed the most beautiful 6 or 7 weeks solely devoted to Precious.

She hadn’t suffered any huge decline in health, however she gave us a little scare last week when she stopped eating, not through lack of hunger but through a seeming reluctance to chew/swallow. I booked the vet appointment then but cancelled when she began eating as normal again the day before and the morning of the appointment. We decided then that we wanted Precious to depart this world enjoying all of her favourite snacks and treats and foods. This coupled with a decreased ability to jump in the past two weeks, sleeping an increased amount, and the fact that her tumour had grown in the direction of her cervical spine was enough for us to say goodbye to her today on a very good day health wise. She enjoyed all of her favourite foods, snuggled on her favourite rug, and put up zero resistance when we put her in her carrier (not characteristic for her).

we cuddled her as she passed, and she is now buried next to the love of her life (smeagol) in our garden.
I hope they are snuggling together again if not now then soon when she reaches him and I hope they’ll keep the bed warm for me until I have the privilege of joining them on the other side.

I love you my beautiful girl, and I’ll miss you forever

 

[catloverfromwayback]

All the hugs, I'm so sorry. You did the absolute best by her. That's the way for a cat to cross the Bridge, easily and loved. Thank you for updating everyone.