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- Jul 24, 2009
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Four years ago in August, I adopted two 5 year old brother kitties, Leo and Tigger. Leo tragically passed away several weeks ago at the young age of 9 (kidney failure). (I took Tigger to the vet last week for a senior wellness exam, and his bloodwork came back normal, thank goodness.)
When Leo was around, he ruled the household. He was a one-person kitty, and I was his special person on whom he showered lots of affection (I still miss him terribly and all the parts of my daily routine that he inserted himself into). Tigger was more of a laidback cat who was affectionate with me and regular visitors alike, but he would always defer to Leo for the most comfortable beds, prime vantage points in a room, etc. Leo would occasionally initiate fights with Tigger, chasing him around the house and occasionally getting physical.
Since Leo's been gone, Tigger's personality has shifted. He's taken on new habits (sleeping on my bed - which Leo used to do, and being more vocal and demanding) and follows me around the house. He seems to enjoy being held in my lap more than before, and he also purrs a lot and looks at me with lovey-dovey content squinted eyes. When I come home from work, he waits for me and starts meowing and seeking affection.
I'm happy that Tiggy seems to be happy, and I'm thrilled that I'm seeing a new, more outgoing side of him that was probably masked when Leo was bossing him around, but I worry a lot about if he's going to be too lonely as an only kitty. As far as I know, Leo and Tigger were together all 9 years of their lives. The reason I got two kitties to begin with is that I work long hours (60 hours/week away from home now, and 80+ hours/week away from home in the next few years when I am doing clerkships and medical residency), and I didn't want a single cat to get neglected and lonely.
Part of me is tempted to look for a companion for Tigger. I talked to my vet about this extensively, and he recommends getting a kitten or young adult cat (no older than ~8 months) so that Tigger can be the dominant cat (or at least not feel threatened). If Tigger would eventually grow to accept a new cat, and if this would make him less lonely, I'm all for this idea.
However, my worst fear is that the relationship wouldn't work after several months of trying, and that it would make Tigger a very unhappy kitty who doesn't feel comfortable in his own home, and, if all else fails, that I'd have to rehome the new cat (which I would feel absolutely terrible about).
My other main reservation about getting a new cat would be that it would tie me down for ~15 more years. Having Leo and Tigger has made a tremendous positive impact in my life, but at the same time, it limits my ability to travel, especially impromptu trips. I also worry a lot with my schedule of not being able to be there for my kitties if they get sick and need urgent or regular medical care (thankfully I was able to be there for Leo during his last few days). Given the emotional upheaval I went through with Leo's sudden passing, and my fear of having a kitty with a chronic disease to manage, I have half a mind to take a break from kitties after Tigger passes on (hopefully not for a long time!) until I'm 100% done with my medical training in another 10 years or so.
If any of you have experiences with how your non-dominant cats behaved after a dominant kitty passed on, or if you successfully or unsuccessfully added a new kitty to the household following the loss of your dominant kitty, please let me know.
When Leo was around, he ruled the household. He was a one-person kitty, and I was his special person on whom he showered lots of affection (I still miss him terribly and all the parts of my daily routine that he inserted himself into). Tigger was more of a laidback cat who was affectionate with me and regular visitors alike, but he would always defer to Leo for the most comfortable beds, prime vantage points in a room, etc. Leo would occasionally initiate fights with Tigger, chasing him around the house and occasionally getting physical.
Since Leo's been gone, Tigger's personality has shifted. He's taken on new habits (sleeping on my bed - which Leo used to do, and being more vocal and demanding) and follows me around the house. He seems to enjoy being held in my lap more than before, and he also purrs a lot and looks at me with lovey-dovey content squinted eyes. When I come home from work, he waits for me and starts meowing and seeking affection.
I'm happy that Tiggy seems to be happy, and I'm thrilled that I'm seeing a new, more outgoing side of him that was probably masked when Leo was bossing him around, but I worry a lot about if he's going to be too lonely as an only kitty. As far as I know, Leo and Tigger were together all 9 years of their lives. The reason I got two kitties to begin with is that I work long hours (60 hours/week away from home now, and 80+ hours/week away from home in the next few years when I am doing clerkships and medical residency), and I didn't want a single cat to get neglected and lonely.
Part of me is tempted to look for a companion for Tigger. I talked to my vet about this extensively, and he recommends getting a kitten or young adult cat (no older than ~8 months) so that Tigger can be the dominant cat (or at least not feel threatened). If Tigger would eventually grow to accept a new cat, and if this would make him less lonely, I'm all for this idea.
However, my worst fear is that the relationship wouldn't work after several months of trying, and that it would make Tigger a very unhappy kitty who doesn't feel comfortable in his own home, and, if all else fails, that I'd have to rehome the new cat (which I would feel absolutely terrible about).
My other main reservation about getting a new cat would be that it would tie me down for ~15 more years. Having Leo and Tigger has made a tremendous positive impact in my life, but at the same time, it limits my ability to travel, especially impromptu trips. I also worry a lot with my schedule of not being able to be there for my kitties if they get sick and need urgent or regular medical care (thankfully I was able to be there for Leo during his last few days). Given the emotional upheaval I went through with Leo's sudden passing, and my fear of having a kitty with a chronic disease to manage, I have half a mind to take a break from kitties after Tigger passes on (hopefully not for a long time!) until I'm 100% done with my medical training in another 10 years or so.
If any of you have experiences with how your non-dominant cats behaved after a dominant kitty passed on, or if you successfully or unsuccessfully added a new kitty to the household following the loss of your dominant kitty, please let me know.