Tough decision...what to do about Cuddles

[lsulover]

Originally Posted by squirtle

Not only this, but you mentioned that she is happy when you come into the room and she rubs on your legs... and you said she looks content laying on your robe (or was it a blanket?).

Cuddles may never change... you guys are right. She may only enjoy rubbing up on Jen's legs, and she may never like her bf. She may be timid and continue to want to do things on "her" terms. Who decides that she should be put to sleep for being herself... especially since she didn't ask for any of this to happen to her?
I am sorry, but I just can't understand. She hasn't had enough time or attention to help her with the adjustment for anyone to decide it isn't going to work.

I think that sometimes we just gotta believe in something, I don't know, but I just don't believe in putting an animal to sleep when it is not sick or anything.

We tried treating our cat Houdini, he was diagnosed with feline leukemia, we tried for almost a month with his treatments, but he was getting weaker and weaker, I tried everything I knew to get him to eat something, I would buy can cat food and mash it up so he didn't hafta chew. When he was not getting any better, we made the decision to have him put to sleep. That was one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life.

But I was just not gonna try and help him, that would have been an easy way out. But that is not for me, at least I know I tried.

 

[yorda]

Originally Posted by white cat lover

Jen, I just assumed, but have you had a physical exam done & a bloodwork done? I mean, it is possible that she has an underlying problem that is causing her behaviors....

I fostered a pair of 16-year-old cats a few years back that desperately wanted attention but the female would nip and air snap if you touched her back. She would seek out attention and crawl up onto your lap and look at you with the most beautiful, loving expression…so it was hard to know if she simply didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t like petting there or if it was from the stress of losing her home of 16 years. After we took her to the vet and did blood work we found out that there was a lot going on and that it actually HURT her to be petted.

 

[jen]

Oh boy guys, I don't know where to begin replying here... Everytime I read through this I get tears in my eyes. I hate being the one to have to decide the fate of this poor girl, but thats what happens when you rescue. booktigger seems to see if from this angle. It is very hard for other people to understand when you are coming from a rescue and rehome point of view. Not all cats can be saved and rehabilitated, but I do my best and do what I can to the best of my abilities. If it isn't working, then euthanasia is better then a shelter, or the wrong type of home that might not understand her needs, etc.

To clarify things, she seems content in the room. She does nothing but sleep and eat. She freaks out and runs into hiding when she hears my cats outside the door, when there is any sort of disturbance, if I walk too close to her, pet her longer then she wants and she then becomes very aggressive and bites. I don't approach her at all, it is just when she comes to me, but the second she had enough, she turns into Cujo. If anyone other then me is in the room she is very aggressive too. I think she is depressed because her world has been turned upside down. But she has a very healthy appetite, she meows at me until I feed her, seems happy when I come into the room, rubs my legs, etc... So it is tough to say exactly how she feels inside. When all is quiet and peaceful and she is cuddled up on her blanket, she is happy and content.

I have tried Feliway spray which seemed to do nothing. I will have to go pick up a refill plug in to give that a shot. She has not been to the vet yet. I know assuming she is healthy because she looks it is not a good idea, I just didn't want to stress her out all over again taking her out of the room and the house. But I should probably have her looked at. Nothing about her suggests there is any illness, of course, I am not assuming all is perfect.

I did another round of craigslist and petfinder posts. Hopefully someone will have a heart. I also posted an ad to see if there are any senior cat rescues in the area.

 

[ldg]

Edited to add: Jen, I was working on this post while you were posting the above. Here's just my two cents on the situation.

The cat site is a place for discussion and education.

85% of all cats surrendered to shelters for behavioral reasons are declawed. Declawed cats often bite because they no longer have claws. We are here at TCS to help people learn how to deal with their declawed cats. To help people learn how to deal with their crazy cats. To help people learn how to deal with their angry cats. To help people learn how to deal with their scared cats.

I cannot ever remember anyone ever having suggested that someone put down a cat for behavioral reasons.

Cuddles is declawed, and her world has just been turned upside down. Her territory is gone, her people are gone. She is in a strange place, with strange smells, with strange noises, with strange people, with other cats.

The one thing we write, over and over and over again in the ferals forum, when we try to help people with socializing feral rescues, you cannot work on any clock but the cat's: if things aren't going as expected, then the expections have to be changed. If things aren't going as we want - we simply have to forget what we want and focus on what the cat needs.

Rescue = patience, and that is the absolute key ingredient.

It seems to me this kitty simply needs more time. She seems (relatively) happy. She seems (relatively) loving.

Imagine a human child that had been confined to one home and never interacted with other human children. By the time that child was 12 or 24 years old - they would need a few years at least to learn how to appropriately interact with others.

Two months is simply not enough time.

Other considerations.

When we rescue, we make a commitment. With the amount of money that we spent on Flowerbelle, Tuxedo, and the many other cats we've helped to keep alive, we could have started at least one, if not two, shelters. And we know how much that costs because we did finance the start-up of a no-kill shelter.

We became involved with and made the commitment to adopt a homeless 18 year old. She was a heroin addict. When she came off the heroin and we discovered that she is a manic depressive, bipolar, paranoid schitzophrenic, we did not halt the adoption process and take her back to the streets of Manhattan and dump her off because the money we were about to spend on her could better be spent on other children.

We don't euthanize our parents because in their failing health they have become inconvenient to us.

Either cats are disposable or they're not.

Rescuers shouldn't be part of the problem. If we all focused on the adoptable cats, what happens to those with special needs? What happens to those that TRULY need us?

Jen - I can understand the frustration. But this kitty needs you. I think that rather than posting in the S.O.S. forum, perhaps you should be posting in the Behavior forum to collect suggestions from people who may have new and interesting ideas about how to help this kitty.

Laurie

 

[katiemae1277]

the only thing I would like to add is that most of your probably don't know Jen that well, not saying that I do, but I do know that Jen is going to school right now, I'm guessing working also, has 6 or 7 other cats, plus her home and BF to take care of, and the other rescue work she does, if you look at this situation, when exactly do you expect her to spend all this time with Cuddles? unless anyone actually has a special needs cat, they really can't comment on how to take handle this situation, unless you are going to shelters looking for a special needs cat to help, then you do not understand all the time and effort that goes into this. I think that that is where Natalie and I, and booktigger and Jen for that matter are coming from. Special needs pets are what we do, we have a different view point. unfortunately we cannot save them all, fix them all or find them all a home, it just is not possible. If Jen had Cuddles for a week and was thinking of euthanization, then yeah, ok, that is jumping the gun a little, but she's had her for at least 2 months, trying to find her a home the whole time, I'm sure that not only is Cuddles stressed but Jen is also, to me euthanasia is a far better option than dumping her at a shelter, which Jen said she would not do, because she knows how bad that would be for Cuddles.

and LSULOVER, what you described is my life, my cats get sick and I try to save them but usually it is not enough, and I make the decision you made on an almost monthly basis

I'm not trying to offend anyone, but simply stating my opinion, and unless you have walked a mile in Jen's shoes, you cannot say that euthansia is not the answer.

ETA: also, Jen is not adopting this cat, she is trying to rehome her for the people who decided after 12 years that they no longer want this cat

 

[white cat lover]

I'm back....again! OK, two more questions to think about:
1) Does Jen have the time for this kitty?
2) Is there anyone else out there who would take her in?

Seriously, I had no idea Jen was going to school. I honestly could not put enough time into a kitty like Cuddles to actually think that she could learn to trust again.

Jen, is there anyone, I mean anyone else, who might have more time to devote to re-habilitating Cuddles? I don't mean to sound like you aren't doing good, you can't do it, but IMO, Cuddles just isn't going to come around in your house. It sounds like your house might be too active for her, & you just cannot spend enough time with her!

 

[jen]

Originally Posted by white cat lover

I'm back....again! OK, two more questions to think about:
1) Does Jen have the time for this kitty?
2) Is there anyone else out there who would take her in?

Seriously, I had no idea Jen was going to school. I honestly could not put enough time into a kitty like Cuddles to actually think that she could learn to trust again.

Jen, is there anyone, I mean anyone else, who might have more time to devote to re-habilitating Cuddles? I don't mean to sound like you aren't doing good, you can't do it, but IMO, Cuddles just isn't going to come around in your house. It sounds like your house might be too active for her, & you just cannot spend enough time with her!

I would absolutely jump at the chance at finding someone being able to foster her to rehabilitate her (is that the right word?). But man, that is just as hard as finding a home to adopt her. So someone else would work with her, get her friendlier and more social, then we would rehome her and start all over again? Or what if Cuddles takes years to get over her fears and the foster home doesn't have an indefinate amount of time like that. Months are one thing, years are another. That is asking alot. In that time, they will become emotionally involved with Cuddles and then they too will be part of the final decision on what to do with her. I wouldn't want someone keeping her out of guilt. I am not trying to make excuses either. If I could find someone interested in fostering her, that would be great. I have tried to find a foster home for a kitten and a one year old cat before and no one was interested.
An aggressive senior cat with an attitude that bites is another thing

Yes I am in Veterinary Assistant school. I am in class 8:30-1:30 Monday thru thursday, then I work from 2:00 until 9:30pm or 5-8 on most days of the week. Friday I work 10-4 and on the weekends I either work or am at my moms. I am a busy girl. Not that I don't have time for her, but I am just not home much. If I was home a lot more, maybe things would be different with her. Like tomorrow, I dont' work or anything. All I have to do is run out to pick up an 8 week old kitten from Cleveland who is going directly into it's new home after that. I will be spending some time with her tomorrow.

 

[ldg]

Perhaps Cuddles needs a calmer home. Perhaps Cuddles needs to be the only cat in a home. And as Jen never intended to keep Cuddles, I believe that Jen should continue to search for that home.

KatieMae:

Gary and I rescue. We practice TNR in the community. We co-ordinate rescue around the country. We have 4 special needs cats. All six of our cats are feral rescues.

I am the Director of Research for a firm on Wall Street. Gary is the Chief Strategist. Believe me, I know what busy is. I'm on TCS a lot these past few weeks because the firm is in the process of getting some licenses it needs for stuff we need to do, so I have a bit more time than usual.

But Gary has a lot of health problems. The worst of them is cluster headaches. These are explained as being the most intense pain a human can experience. According to Cleveland Clinics, they are 100x more intense than a migraine. And for Gary, they come in cycles of six months on, two months off. And when in cycle, he gets attacks 2 - 10 times a day. They last 1/2 hour to 3 hours. That sure takes a bite out of our days.

We also financed the start-up and first year of a no-kill shelter. We continue to volunteer there in addition to continuing to devote our time to trapping.

We know what it is to be time constrained. We know what it is to work with and rescue special needs kitties. We know the issues of shelters and people who foster.

I still believe that cats are not expendable, and that at TCS we should do what we can to promote that. If Cuddles isn't happy in Jen's home, imagine how unhappy she'd be at a shelter. Of course, if Jen doesn't want to make the decision to euthanize her but wants to unburden herself of Cuddles, she can give her over to a shelter that will cold-heartedly make that decision for her.

But that doesn't change my outlook. I believe that rescue requires time and patience, and if we don't have the time or the patience, we shouldn't rescue. Fostering requires time and patience. If we don't have the time or the patience, we shouldn't foster.

There are a lot of things Jen can do to be able to spend more time in the room with Cuddles. Study in there. Move the computer in there. Iron in there. Move the TV in there. Sleep in there once or twice a week. She can have her boyfriend sleep in there once or twice a week.

There are always solutions when we look for them.

Laurie

 

[white cat lover]

Originally Posted by Jen

I would absolutely jump at the chance at finding someone being able to foster her to rehabilitate her (is that the right word?). But man, that is just as hard as finding a home to adopt her. So someone else would work with her, get her friendlier and more social, then we would rehome her and start all over again? Or what if Cuddles takes years to get over her fears and the foster home doesn't have an indefinate amount of time like that. Months are one thing, years are another. That is asking alot. In that time, they will become emotionally involved with Cuddles and then they too will be part of the final decision on what to do with her. I wouldn't want someone keeping her out of guilt. I am not trying to make excuses either. If I could find someone interested in fostering her, that would be great. I have tried to find a foster home for a kitten and a one year old cat before and no one was interested.
An aggressive senior cat with an attitude that bites is another thing

Yes I am in Veterinary Assistant school. I am in class 8:30-1:30 Monday thru thursday, then I work from 2:00 until 9:30pm or 5-8 on most days of the week. Friday I work 10-4 and on the weekends I either work or am at my moms. I am a busy girl. Not that I don't have time for her, but I am just not home much. If I was home a lot more, maybe things would be different with her. Like tomorrow, I dont' work or anything. All I have to do is run out to pick up an 8 week old kitten from Cleveland who is going directly into it's new home after that. I will be spending some time with her tomorrow.

I understand your reluctance there. It's hard....when you took Cuddles in you had no idea what you were getting into. I'm going to sound like an awful callous person again here, but if she were in any shelter, she would've been dead 2 months ago. If it were up to me, you wouldn't be the one struggling with this here...it would be Cuddle's so called "owners".

It might not be a bad idea to start a thread in the behavior forum & see what ideas/suggestions pop up. You never know what might work & if you're willing to help Cuddles out, we're all willing to help as much as we can!

 

[katiemae1277]

LDG, first I was not referring to you with those comments, I know you care for SN kitties, but you undertook the task of rehabilitating those kitties with full knowledge of their needs, Jen took this cat in to rehome her, not rehabilitate, I'm sure Cuddles' previous owners were less than truthful about Cuddles behavior or this whole thing traumatized the poor girl so bad that these bahaviors are what resulted.

Jen has already stated that she will not take Cuddles to a shelter because she knows what that will do to Cuddles, I think Jen knows that this her responsibilty and the choice she makes is not going to be an easy one.

So you're saying that all the cats Jen has helped and rehomed don't mean anything because of this ONE unadoptable cat that has fallen into her lap? that apparently she does not have the time and patience to nurse an ill kitten back to health or drive all the way to Pittsburgh so that a feral cat will have a safe home?

and last, if I read it correctly, Cuddles is in Jen's bedroom, and from the sound of it, Jen really is not spending alot of time watching TV or ironing. Like Natalie said, I don't think Jen knew what issues Cuddles had when she agreed to rehome her, not adopt her, rehome her, and if she had, I'm willing to bet Jen would not have taken her

 

[momofmany]

Jen - I just sent an email to the senior rescue group in our area for any contacts they might have in your area or any specific advice they might have in placing Cuddles. The 2 women that run it have been doing what you are trying to do for about 25 years now and have a lot of experience with your situation. They are sometimes slow to respond so hang in there.

Too bad you don't live closer or I know they would take her in. But there might be hope. If there are people that do this work here, there might be that small unknown group doing it in your area. They usually don't advertise their services.

 

[furryferals]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I'm not trying to offend anyone, but simply stating my opinion, and unless you have walked a mile in Jen's shoes, you cannot say that euthansia is not the answer.

I just have this to say and I'm not judging anyone either.I have walked this path
and no euthanasia to me is not the answer.
When I got into fostering,I did so to try to help,I went into it with my eyes wide open,
Knowing that there would be some cats along the way that would not find a home
and ultimately I would have for a long time or end up keeping.
I foster cats for however long it takes,I don't put any time limit on how long,I have a
committment to each and every one, anything less than that and I've let that cat down.

I have sacrifed my own principals in the past on the say so of others to the detriment
and health/death of some cats/kittens.That was not my choice.My hands were tied.
I don't foster anymore unless it is on my terms and those terms are the cat/kittens
stay with me for the duration.However long that takes.
I count my successes not on how many get re-homed each year but on how many
get re-homed into the Right home and don't end up coming back into care.
It isn't about how many,it's about doing the best for every single one.No exceptions.

I don't think Jen's situation warrants any thought of euthanasia,Cuddles just needs
time to find the right home/foster home.
Jen-you will find that home for her,It may take a while but you will

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

LDG, first I was not referring to you with those comments, I know you care for SN kitties, but you undertook the task of rehabilitating those kitties with full knowledge of their needs, Jen took this cat in to rehome her, not rehabilitate, I'm sure Cuddles' previous owners were less than truthful about Cuddles behavior or this whole thing traumatized the poor girl so bad that these bahaviors are what resulted.

Actually, for two of the four, we didn't know ahead of time. Being feral cats, there was no way to know they were going to have special needs. In fact, I posted in this very forum looking for a foster or home for "the little white cat." In fact, we still call Flowerbelle "the little white cat."

We lived in less than 300 sq. ft. with (at the time) the two of us and four cats, two of them already special needs. We used to leave 3 - 4 days a week at 4:30am and didn't get home until 9:00pm - 11:00pm. But Flowerbelle needed to be medicated 11 times a day. It didn't even cross our minds to euthanize her, even though her issues were health related. When it became apparent that we weren't going to find a home or foster for her quickly, we rearranged our lives to manage the situation. We gave up a lot - both in terms of income and in terms of our careers and our future. But in our minds, we made a commitment, and we did what we needed to do. Neither one of us regrets it.

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

Jen has already stated that she will not take Cuddles to a shelter because she knows what that will do to Cuddles, I think Jen knows that this her responsibilty and the choice she makes is not going to be an easy one.

. I'd actually prefer that Cuddles had a chance at living by being taken to a shelter that's been informed of her needs than see her euthanized without even that chance.

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

So you're saying that all the cats Jen has helped and rehomed don't mean anything because of this ONE unadoptable cat that has fallen into her lap? that apparently she does not have the time and patience to nurse an ill kitten back to health or drive all the way to Pittsburgh so that a feral cat will have a safe home?

I don't even know where this comes from. Of course I'm not saying that, and I didn't say that. I do believe that rescuing and fostering take time and commitment, and as furryferals pointed out, the unexpected is going to happen.

Originally Posted by kaitemae1277

and last, if I read it correctly, Cuddles is in Jen's bedroom, and from the sound of it, Jen really is not spending alot of time watching TV or ironing. Like Natalie said, I don't think Jen knew what issues Cuddles had when she agreed to rehome her, not adopt her, rehome her, and if she had, I'm willing to bet Jen would not have taken her

I have no idea whether or not Jen would have taken her or not. But if those people left her behind in the street and she turned up on Jen's porch, I bet Jen would have taken her in.

...And those were merely examples of ideas, in line with my suggestion that we be spending this time in the behavior forum figuring out how to help rather than here, debating whether or not it's OK to euthanize a cat because it's not an ideal situation for a stressed out kitty and guardian - even if temporary or intended to be temporary.

And if Cuddles is in Jen's bedroom, then that's an ideal situation given the circumstances.

Jen - I'm glad you posted your question about what to do. It has given all of us a chance to think about when a cat should be euthanized, and you'll make your decision.

But as a member of and advisor of The Cat Site, I can't imagine euthanasia being the answer. I find it difficult to imagine that someone who rescues would even consider it - not being a health based problem. I'd much rather be here for support, for hugs when Jen needs to vent, and to help come up with ideas about how to manage the situation than to defend why I believe cats are not expendable no matter who you are, how busy you are, or what the cat's problems are.

Laurie

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by furryferals

...I count my successes not on how many get re-homed each year but on how many get re-homed into the Right home and don't end up coming back into care.
It isn't about how many,it's about doing the best for every single one.No exceptions.

I think this is SO well said!

Originally Posted by furryferals

I don't think Jen's situation warrants any thought of euthanasia,Cuddles just needs time to find the right home/foster home.
Jen-you will find that home for her,It may take a while but you will

I believe this too.

Laurie

 

[katiemae1277]

I just have one last thing to say before I exit, because I am getting upset with this whole thing, and that is that MENTAL health is just as important as PHYSICAL health in a cat, and often mental anguish can manifest itself into physical illness, so should be allow Cuddles to live in constant fear, just to prove that she can be rehabilatated? my anwer is no, I am very against cats living out their lives in cages, I am against keeping a cat in a situation that is extremely stressful whether its in a cage or not, and that is where Cuddles is.

Thank you Momofmany for extending a helping hand

 

[white cat lover]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I just have one last thing to say before I exit, because I am getting upset with this whole thing, and that is that MENTAL health is just as important as PHYSICAL health in a cat, and often mental anguish can manifest itself into physical illness, so should be allow Cuddles to live in constant fear, just to prove that she can be rehabilatated? my anwer is no, I am very against cats living out their lives in cages, I am against keeping a cat in a situation that is extremely stressful whether its in a cage or not, and that is where Cuddles is.

Thank you Momofmany for extending a helping hand

I agree with Katie here. I hope Cuddles can find somewhere to go & be loved.

 

[icklemiss21]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I just have one last thing to say before I exit, because I am getting upset with this whole thing, and that is that MENTAL health is just as important as PHYSICAL health in a cat, and often mental anguish can manifest itself into physical illness, so should be allow Cuddles to live in constant fear, just to prove that she can be rehabilatated? my anwer is no, I am very against cats living out their lives in cages, I am against keeping a cat in a situation that is extremely stressful whether its in a cage or not, and that is where Cuddles is.

Thank you Momofmany for extending a helping hand

I am going to jump in here, because Scully WAS Cuddles when we got him, and the mental anguish does subside, and they can be rehabilitated. To be honest, yes the cat would be better off somewhere else where it is the only cat and the person has more time to concentrate on it. But we managed fine with Scully, both having full time jobs (and a 'great' BIL who decided the way to deal with them was to lock them in a closest and let them fight it out which set us back months).

Most cats, when introduced to others at that age will take a long while to settle in, and Cuddles, having never even seen another cat will obviously take longer, but I agree with furryferals, the success you will feel from rehoming Cuddles properly will outweigh the 'easy rehomes' that others are probably quite willing to take on

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I just have one last thing to say before I exit, because I am getting upset with this whole thing, and that is that MENTAL health is just as important as PHYSICAL health in a cat, and often mental anguish can manifest itself into physical illness, so should be allow Cuddles to live in constant fear, just to prove that she can be rehabilatated? my anwer is no, I am very against cats living out their lives in cages, I am against keeping a cat in a situation that is extremely stressful whether its in a cage or not, and that is where Cuddles is.

Thank you Momofmany for extending a helping hand

Of course this discussion is going to get to all of us. It's a very difficult discussion to have.

But this isn't about proving that Cuddles can be rehabilitated. It's about whether or not she should live, and in what circumstances. It's something that stirs up a lot of passion, and I'm really trying to be level headed.

But working with ferals, I work with cats that are by nature afraid. There are hundreds of cats that people have asked for help with in the Ferals forum that would have been euthanized if we chose to kill them because they're afraid for two months, or six months, or a year (the numbers do decrease as the time gets longer because their fear and related stress does subside with time). Because a cat is afraid and stressed, in my opinion, is no reason to kill it. These are exactly the cats that need us, and part of the reason that TCS exists is to help exactly these cats. In fact, cats that are afraid generally want very small territories, and that in and of itself helps to reduce the stress.

Working with a no-kill shelter, I work with cats that live in cages. We provide them a place to get out, to exercise, to play - or to hide, if that's what they do because they're feral and afraid. But the whole philosophy of no-kill is to provide a place where they can live out their lives if they aren't adopted. For some of them, it means a cage. And many of these kitties are very happy. They get out a couple days a week for a few hours. It may not sound like a lot, but they learn to have fun with people, they learn to interact with other cats, and it isn't a horrible life. Of course they're terrified when they first arrive. As most of these are feral rescues, some of them remain scared for a long time. But they're safe, and they do learn that.

Cuddles isn't in a cage, she's in a room. She can hear other cats - but that's part of the process of her accepting other cats. She's safe from them, she has a place to hide from them, and she has food, water, clean litter boxes, and love.

It isn't an ideal situation. It is frustrating, but I hope Jen will chose to vent, not euthanize.

Jen - you and Cuddles are in my prayers. I hope you find a way to handle the stress until Cuddles can be either rehomed or placed with a foster that will be able to manage her needs.

In the meantime, I hope you choose to work with her, and I hope and pray that we can help find solutions.

Have you e-mailed the Best Friends No More Homeless Pets campaign yet? If not, that's something you may want to consider. This is the link: http://www.bestfriends.org/nomorehom...ets/about2.cfm. In the "Additional Advice and Assistance" section for specific situations, you can e-mail [email protected].

They may be able to find someone within their network to help.

Laurie

 

[furryferals]

Jen-I was just wondering,Do you have a screen door that you could fix to the outside
of the doorframe to her room?

All my fosters/ferals stay in my boxroom and I've had quite a few ferals in there too,Since I made a screen door they do settle in a lot quicker,Well thats what I've noticed anyway.
I leave the door open and the screen door shut for a couple of hours a day.
I think if they can ' see the monster on the other side of the door ' then it helps
them to realise that they're not really a threat to them?and they still feel safe behind
the screen?

It works for me and mine

 

[lsulover]

I am sending Jen prayers and hugs from Mississippi, I think she needs them.