Time for the truth (long)

[sammyp]

Originally Posted by calico2222

You know what really bothers me about this thread? We are supposed to be a community, not only of cat lovers, but of friends. I am really disturbed how many people posted that she was wrong. She already KNOWS she did wrong. It takes a lot of courage to admit to someone, in fact a group of people (even over the internet) that she made wrong choices. I honestly admire her for that. Sometimes it's easier to share things first with people that you don't know personally.

It is exactly because this is a community of cat lovers that this behaviour (whatever the underlying cause) has been viewed so harshly. People chat here because they love cats not because they necessarily know each other in real life or are looking to make real life friends.

For every cat lover viewing this thread there is this horror of knowing that anything could have happend to the cats this person had before. The ones abandoned could have met a fate no one who loves animals wants to contemplate. It is of vital importance that the welfare of the cats the OP currently has is ensured, and no molly-coddling is going to do that. This person should not have cats. It doesn't at all sound like she can guarantee she will care for them and, as has been stated, that might have a lot to do with why her support worker is trying to get her to re-home them as it is quite likely she is trapped in a cycle that will simply repeat.

 

[sammyp]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

I'm going to pretend that the cats were wandering down the street in search of food and shelter... when a pick up truck pulls by and a man and his daughter hop out. The daughter wants to take the kitties home, so the man whistles and waves a can of tuna. The cats come bounding over... they put them in the pickup truck and drive home. The cats immediately fall in love with the little girl, and she has fallen in love with them. After getting a quick vet check up, the cats become permanent house members... the little girl begs her dad to please let the cats sleep in her room, and so now she has three warm, cuddly bed mates.

And the man, who also loves cats very much, spoils the cats thoroughly and feeds them plenty of wet food, and brings them plenty of cat toys and cat nip. The cats are so spoiled rotten that they've forgotten their past and are now living lovely lives.

CAT #1: "Ahh, this is the life!"
CAT #2: "This spot on the pillow is just so comfy, I shall never leave this spot... however, if my darling owner calls me, I shall leave the spot and make sure you do not set foot on it!"

CAT#1: "Ha! Why would I want your spot, you silly cat! There are plenty of comfy spots in this house--we are even allowed on the sofa!"
CAT #3: "I claim the lovely girl's lap, as she rubs me in the perfect spot--right behind the ears!"
Cat#2: "I change my mind--that is my spot!"
CAT #1: "How about we all share that spot?"
CAT#2: "Last one to the girl is a rotten egg!"

They race to the girl she laughs, her heart full of joy, as the three purring cats climb onto her lap....

Great story. Maybe you should write children's books

 

[nekochan]

This is very disturbing and very sad for the poor cats. I hope no more cats will be harmed but I am afraid they might be since this does seem to be a cycle that may just continue unless RussianKitten really seeks some outside assistance with these issues.

 

[rosiemac]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

It is my understanding, and it has even been posted on the site that Insurance on the UK is VERY VERY affordable.

No insurance will be needed if she's on benefits here. The PDSA will help her.

Russiankitty, while the kittens in your care are priority we need to see that your being treated?. If you want any help pm me sooner rather than later

 

[-_aj_-]

Ive read and re-read this topic, and i can understand the anger that some of you guys are feeling i dont blame you, i have sympathy for russiankitty because at the end of the day it still must of been very hard and difficult to make such a huge decision to abandon the kittens, and it does seem like she was bombarded with what people thought was best for her and kept pushing until she did what they wanted her to do.

russiankitty it might be best if you got yourself another support worker one who can help you deal with your problems and helping you rather than telling you what to do

I hope i havent been patronising to you

if you ever want to chat feel free to pm me hun

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by Rosiemac

No insurance will be needed if she's on benefits here. The PDSA will help her.

Russiankitty, while the kittens in your care are priority we need to see that your being treated?. If you want any help pm me sooner rather than later

So Susan: Now the story really doesn't add up? it seems that she was already on this situation (case worker and all) when she gave up the first three kitties for lack of $$$ - wouldn't she have had the same rights then?

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by -_aj_-

russiankitty it might be best if you got yourself another support worker one who can help you deal with your problems and helping you rather than telling you what to do

do we know anything about this case worker?? we only know what SHE, the OP is telling us... And is that an accurate picture? We will never know... Also, of course she will tell her what to do... Like Not getting any more cats for example, is a big one...

 

[clixpix]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

So Susan: Now the story really doesn't add up? it seems that she was already on this situation (case worker and all) when she gave up the first three kitties for lack of $$$ - wouldn't she have had the same rights then?

It's my suspicion (and yes, all we can do is speculate on the reasons) is that finances don't really play a part in this cycle. I don't know if the OP even really knows why she does it. That doesn't mean I think it's okay, it's that I don't think she has a real grasp of why she does this. She might blame money one time, the cats' behavior the next, her care worker the time after that. Until she gets help, I suspect it will always be "something". Even if she had the money to treat the cat, I think she would have come up with another reason. So yeah, there are "holes" in the story...lots of them. That's why she needs to seek treatment.

 

[-_aj_-]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

So Susan: Now the story really doesn't add up? it seems that she was already on this situation (case worker and all) when she gave up the first three kitties for lack of $$$ - wouldn't she have had the same rights then?

yes but if it was out of normal hours of practise she would of needed the ermergancy vet which does cost

Originally Posted by carolinalima

do we know anything about this case worker?? we only know what SHE, the OP is telling us... And is that an accurate picture? We will never know... Also, of course she will tell her what to do... Like Not getting any more cats for example, is a big one...

whoa, i understand what your saying, but the case worker shouldnt be telling her to get rid of her cats at all, and under so much pressure from the case worker with her disorder she has buckled, i know its not the right thing to do, but the case worker obviously isnt helping and just confusing the OP even further, RussianKitten knows she has did wrong by the cats and seems pretty damn adament that it isnt going to happen, i know we are only getting one side of the story but all she needs is a bit of support to get her through this


(im sorry for calling you she RussianKitten, its because i dont know your name

)

 

[yosemite]

I think everything that needs to be said has been said regarding these lovely but unfortunate cats. Perhaps it's time to let it go - we cannot do more than the advice that has already been given so I don't see a need to further castigate the OP.

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by -_aj_-

yes but if it was out of normal hours of practise she would of needed the ermergancy vet which does cost



whoa, i understand what your saying, but the case worker shouldnt be telling her to get rid of her cats at all, and under so much pressure from the case worker with her disorder she has buckled, i know its not the right thing to do, but the case worker obviously isnt helping and just confusing the OP even further, RussianKitten knows she has did wrong by the cats and seems pretty damn adament that it isnt going to happen, i know we are only getting one side of the story but all she needs is a bit of support to get her through this


(im sorry for calling you she RussianKitten, its because i dont know your name

)

again, we don't know as much as she and the case worker do... we only know what she wants us to know.

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by Yosemite

I think everything that needs to be said has been said regarding these lovely but unfortunate cats. Perhaps it's time to let it go - we cannot do more than the advice that has already been given so I don't see a need to further castigate the OP.

As you once told me, Linda... I usually don't agree with you... but on this I do... This girl needs psychiatric health care, and that is the bottom line... None of us is a Psychiatrist, so she really does need to seek help elsewhere.
Now we are the ones entering a vicious cycle...

 

[russiankitten]

I used to see a very good phycotherapist. This only stopped in March this year. I phoned him today and booked an appointment for a week on Monday. He is the most helpful person I have ever spoken to.

Medication is not usually given to treat personality disorder. Simply on the fact that personality disorder is just that, a disorder of personality. So those with it deal with situations in ways a child does. Phycotherapy (some one mentioned) is used in treatment.

I can afford pte insurance for these cats but as I can take them to the PDSA vet hospital I am thinking I don't need pet insurance? It is some thing I can afford and will pay for if I think it would benefit them in anyway. I don't see how it would be better though then taking them to the PDSA? The PDSA are all very good vets.
They also offers 24-7 emergency vet care. If anything should happened to them I can take them there and recieve free care because of my benefits. The free ask isn't the reason I just think its just as good as paying for insurance and taking them to a non PDSA vet.

I am sorry if it seemed light about how I left thoes poor cats. I really didn't mean it to. At the same time I just wanted to write down the facts of what has happened. I didn't want to go on and on. I didn't want to draw on sympathy I just wanted to put down the truth of what happened.

Carolina you hit it right on the head I think when you said I left those kitties and the remorse got bad so I needed to help some more.. and then those went and now I've got too more. It does feel quite a lot like that..

Thank you LDG for taking the time to look into my condition.

What happened to the ones on the doorstep I can only think the worst. I wanted so bad to knock on that families door and ask about those kittens. I'm too much of a coward. I walked around the block time after time for the next few weeks calling for them. Looking for them under hedges, behind bins.. I was so scared maybe I'd find a tiny little body. They were no where to be found. So I could only hope that while Caspian had got out of his crate the other crate containing the other three had safely gone to a rescue. This will haunt me for the rest of my life. I am not going to try and fantasize about any happy endings for any of thse cats though the ones I rehomed did go to some seemingly very nice people..

I am seeing my support worker tomorow and will show her what I have written. From what I have written she will likely encourage me to rehome two of the cats. I have made the descision to keep these cats the very day I bought them and I will not budge from that. They are with me for life.

I am capable of love. It is some thing I have not had very postiv experiences of in life so far and as such my idea of love may be slightly premature. I got rid of these cats impulsivly but it was never a question of I do not love these animals. I don't even know what I was thinking. One things sure I wans't thinking properly thats a fact.

My support worker is very good but its a fact that she can't help me with things I don't tell her about and this can't continue. I can't continue to hide problems like a child who is scared of getting into trouble or whatever. I am an adult now if I have a problem I must face it.

Forgiveness doesn't even come into this. You can not forgive the unforgivable. Just like you can not justify the unjustifyable. Abandoning these cats and buying them impulsivly and getting rid of them impusivly is unjustifiable and unforgivable. IMO When I reach Heaven and meet with my Heavenly father I will see if I am forgiven. I will pray for the safety of these cats most likely for the rest of my life.

 

[sarahp]

I think everyone has said their piece, so I'm going to close this thread now.