Time for the truth (long)

[strange_wings]

Originally Posted by otto

Mental Illness is an illness, but it is not an excuse.

Do some research.

Some mental disorders, including personality disorders, drastically change how a person perceives and reacts to the world around them. It may be little things but it's not like how an unaffected person would behave.

My father used to have blatant disregard for living things. He didn't torture them (though he did kill a few) but he didn't understand that animals felt pain, shouldn't be made to suffer through it. To some degree he didn't, and I suspect still doesn't, make this connection in humans either. It makes him sound terrible, yes, but it is an example of how someone's brain can simply not work the way someone else's does. No amount of wishing someone else was different will change how one's brain is already wired. (note: I have as little to do with him as possible due to how he treats others, but do not hate him)

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

I'm going to pretend that the cats were wandering down the street in search of food and shelter... when a pick up truck pulls by and a man and his daughter hop out. The daughter wants to take the kitties home, so the man whistles and waves a can of tuna. The cats come bounding over... they put them in the pickup truck and drive home. The cats immediately fall in love with the little girl, and she has fallen in love with them. After getting a quick vet check up, the cats become permanent house members... the little girl begs her dad to please let the cats sleep in her room, and so now she has three warm, cuddly bed mates.

And the man, who also loves cats very much, spoils the cats thoroughly and feeds them plenty of wet food, and brings them plenty of cat toys and cat nip. The cats are so spoiled rotten that they've forgotten their past and are now living lovely lives.

CAT #1: "Ahh, this is the life!"
CAT #2: "This spot on the pillow is just so comfy, I shall never leave this spot... however, if my darling owner calls me, I shall leave the spot and make sure you do not set foot on it!"

CAT#1: "Ha! Why would I want your spot, you silly cat! There are plenty of comfy spots in this house--we are even allowed on the sofa!"
CAT #3: "I claim the lovely girl's lap, as she rubs me in the perfect spot--right behind the ears!"
Cat#2: "I change my mind--that is my spot!"
CAT #1: "How about we all share that spot?"
CAT#2: "Last one to the girl is a rotten egg!"

They race to the girl she laughs, her heart full of joy, as the three purring cats climb onto her lap....

Yeah..... if this was lifetime TV, or Disney Chanel.... Sure... in Real Life reality could be a little more graphic, per se.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Yeah..... if this was lifetime TV, or Disney Chanel.... Sure... in Real Life reality could be a little more graphic, per se.

OK, maybe they don't live in a mansion and have all the best spots in the house, but I'm sure someone rescued the cats

And yeah, when people are mentally ill, they can't help what they're doing, so that's a very good excuse. They just don't know that what they're doing is wrong because it makes tons of sense to them at the time! That's why they're mentally ill... but I may be wrong, I'm not very strong on this subject.

 

[ldg]

Originally Posted by otto

Again, I think most people understand that this person has a mental illness....

Mental Illness is an illness, but it is not an excuse.

While I agree to an extent - if people understood the specific mental illness, they wouldn't bother asking some of the questions being asked.

Originally Posted by otto

The problem is, cats lives are at risk in the midst of all this rhetoric, and not one of us can do a thing about it.

That is hurting us all, I think.

NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

Originally Posted by otto

...And we here are not equppied to help this person other than to say "get help"....

You're right. And since we don't know if this is for real, not for real - I continue to believe there IS no point in saying anything other than...

RussianKitten - please get help.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by LDG

While I agree to an extent - if people understood the specific mental illness, they wouldn't bother asking some of the questions being asked.



NO DOUBT ABOUT IT!

You're right. And since we don't know if this is for real, not for real - I continue to believe there IS no point in saying anything other than...

RussianKitten - please get help.

I really think everyone already said what they needed to say. Unless RussianKitten has more to say, we really don't need to keep replying. What if this is a hoax and RussianKitten is having a laugh reading all of this? (lol just a random shot out there, not saying its true) but unless she has more questions or wants to add something, we really don't have much more to say.

but yes, as what was said above, please seek help

Bye!

 

[clixpix]

Originally Posted by calico2222

You know what really bothers me about this thread? We are supposed to be a community, not only of cat lovers, but of friends. I am really disturbed how many people posted that she was wrong. She already KNOWS she did wrong. It takes a lot of courage to admit to someone, in fact a group of people (even over the internet) that she made wrong choices. I honestly admire her for that. Sometimes it's easier to share things first with people that you don't know personally.

It just makes me sad that people are putting her down for what she did in the past. All the people that just condemned her....do YOU have a personality disorder, or even know what that entails?

I agree, she needs help and maybe medication. But what happened, has happened and it's in the past. Now, I think she needs the support the get on with the future and love and care for the kitties that she has. And, if this is a "hoax" person just looking for attention, then I'm a sucker, but I don't think she is. I think she is actually someone that is looking for support and guidance.

I'm sorry if I made anyone mad with this post, but it really makes me think twice about sharing things here.

Sometimes coddling and "forgiving" someone isn't the right course of action. Yes some are condemning, and I can understand that. What's occurred to those cats is awful. It is. People have a right to have feelings about that.

I disagree about having the courage to admit it here. That doesn't take that much courage. Nobody here is in her "real life". If she didn't get the response she was seeking, she'll leave...no harm done. Nobody even knows her name. Real courage would be to make moves to change the behavior, and to admit them to people who are actually in her life.

Encouraging her to seek treatment for her disorder is the right course of action. To not address that, and to just "forgive" her, and hope she does better is merely enabling the behavior. It solves nothing.

Originally Posted by meminikitty

People just need to cool off a bit. She only admitted this yesterday. People are ranting a bit right now, but pretty soon they'll forgive her.

Because everyone is so good on this forum.

Again, it's not for us to "forgive". She needs help, and I'll keep saying so until my fingers fall off from typing. Not everything in life, and on these forums is cute kittens, and everyone just loving each other. Life is messy, and some people have problems. You want to make up a story about what happened to the cats she abandoned on a doorstep. That's sweet, but that's not reality. The reality is that one of the cats came back, but the other two didn't. The reality is that it's very possible that they are no longer alive. The only way her current cats don't befall the same fate is if she gets help. So no, I won't back off. I will not enable her behavior. I cannot sit on my hands when the lives of so many animals are at stake.

Encouraging her to get help is the right course of action. It's the one thing that can actually help her and the cats...the only thing.

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

People just need to cool off a bit. She only admitted this yesterday. People are ranting a bit right now, but pretty soon they'll forgive her.

Because everyone is so good on this forum.

Forgive her? This is not about forgiving her or not... This is about helping her and preventing this probelm from perpetuating.
"Forgiving" her is not going to do her any good... What I think you are failing to see here is that there is a whole bunch of huge animal lovers trying to understand what she is going through in order to HELP her. You are talking people who would go without before letting their cats going without, facing this situation for the first time... And here we are... trying to help. But guess what: Sending her little hearts, saying what she did is ok, and that we forgive her does absolutely no good whatsoever. Not for the kitties she has on hands, not for herself, for her future, the people who will cross her life, the kitties who will cross her life... What she did WAS NOT OK. Not for her, not for the kitties. She has been in pain, and God forbid, I don't want to even think about what some of those kitties have been through. So, no, it is not ok, and she knows that... at least we hope...
As LDG says, we keep going back to the same bottom line - she needs professional psych health care.
I stand true to the advise of insuring the three kitties....

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

Forgive her? This is not about forgiving her or not... This is about helping her and preventing this probelm from perpetuating.
"Forgiving" her is not going to do her any good... What I think you are failing to see here is that there is a whole bunch of huge animal lovers trying to understand what she is going through in order to HELP her. You are talking people who would go without before letting their cats going without, facing this situation for the first time... And here we are... trying to help. But guess what: Sending her little hearts, saying what she did is ok, and that we forgive her does absolutely no good whatsoever. Not for the kitties she has on hands, not for herself, for her future, the people who will cross her life, the kitties who will cross her life... What she did WAS NOT OK. Not for her, not for the kitties. She has been in pain, and God forbid, I don't want to even think about what some of those kitties have been through. So, no, it is not ok, and she knows that... at least we hope...
As LDG says, we keep going back to the same bottom line - she needs professional psych health care.
I stand true to the advise of insuring the three kitties....

Whoa! Sheesh, sorry! I don't need you to rant at me. I'm not exactly a physiologist... I just don't want her to feel too bad. Don't go screaming at me that I did wrong by sending her little hearts, nothing is wrong with that. Please don't get angry. :/

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

OK, maybe they don't live in a mansion and have all the best spots in the house, but I'm sure someone rescued the cats

And yeah, when people are mentally ill, they can't help what they're doing, so that's a very good excuse. They just don't know that what they're doing is wrong because it makes tons of sense to them at the time! That's why they're mentally ill... but I may be wrong, I'm not very strong on this subject.

Let's make this simple - Take a "tour" at Crossing the Bridge and see what happens with some cats that end up on the streets. That is what I mean by a little more graphic. Bad things can and DO happen to cats in the outside world. I don't know where you got that all the cats have been rescued. I am going to leave it at that though...

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

Whoa! Sheesh, sorry! I don't need you to rant at me. I'm not exactly a physiologist... I just don't want her to feel too bad. Don't go screaming at me that I did wrong by sending her little hearts, nothing is wrong with that. Please don't get angry. :/

I am not ranting, and not angry... not at the least... And I have no clue of why you are sayin I am screaming at you?? Sorry you took it this way...

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

I am not ranting, and not angry... not at the least... Sorry you took it this way, but really...

Look, I guess I am a bit naive on some things, but I really just forgive everyone. It's just the way I am. No matter what someone did, I always forgive them and try to forget about it... I know this is not something we can actually forget about because nothing would improve... but yeah, that's why I sent the hearts and told her I forgave her... I don't want RussianKitten thinking everyone hates her (which of course you guys don't!)

And about that story... just my imagination flying away...but who knows, you never know if those cats were rescued or not. Since we'll never know, I'm going to say they were rescued!

 

[carolina]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

Look, I guess I am a bit naive on some things, but I really just forgive everyone. It's just the way I am. No matter what someone did, I always forgive them and try to forget about it... I know this is not something we can actually forget about because nothing would improve... but yeah, that's why I sent the hearts and told her I forgave her... I don't want RussianKitten thinking everyone hates her (which of course you guys don't!)

And about that story... just my imagination flying away...but who knows, you never know if those cats were rescued or not. Since we'll never know, I'm going to say they were rescued!

You are a hopeless romantic - I have the diagnostic for you

 

[white cat lover]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

I'm going to pretend that the cats were wandering down the street in search of food and shelter... when a pick up truck pulls by and a man and his daughter hop out. The daughter wants to take the kitties home, so the man whistles and waves a can of tuna. The cats come bounding over... they put them in the pickup truck and drive home. The cats immediately fall in love with the little girl, and she has fallen in love with them. After getting a quick vet check up, the cats become permanent house members... the little girl begs her dad to please let the cats sleep in her room, and so now she has three warm, cuddly bed mates.

And the man, who also loves cats very much, spoils the cats thoroughly and feeds them plenty of wet food, and brings them plenty of cat toys and cat nip. The cats are so spoiled rotten that they've forgotten their past and are now living lovely lives.

CAT #1: "Ahh, this is the life!"
CAT #2: "This spot on the pillow is just so comfy, I shall never leave this spot... however, if my darling owner calls me, I shall leave the spot and make sure you do not set foot on it!"

CAT#1: "Ha! Why would I want your spot, you silly cat! There are plenty of comfy spots in this house--we are even allowed on the sofa!"
CAT #3: "I claim the lovely girl's lap, as she rubs me in the perfect spot--right behind the ears!"
Cat#2: "I change my mind--that is my spot!"
CAT #1: "How about we all share that spot?"
CAT#2: "Last one to the girl is a rotten egg!"

They race to the girl she laughs, her heart full of joy, as the three purring cats climb onto her lap....

It would be wonderful if that was the way it is - but this is more like reality.

And it probably doesn't make RussianKitty feel all "warm & fuzzy" inside. But the reality is that her past kitties could well be those faces. If she doesn't keep the current 3 kitties, or tries to save anymore - they could end up those faces. Her track record isn't looking so good right now - it's up to her to prove us wrong, prove she can provide for these 3 & will keep them forever.

 

[ut0pia]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

Look, I guess I am a bit naive on some things, but I really just forgive everyone. It's just the way I am. No matter what someone did, I always forgive them and try to forget about it... I know this is not something we can actually forget about because nothing would improve... but yeah, that's why I sent the hearts and told her I forgave her... I don't want RussianKitten thinking everyone hates her (which of course you guys don't!)

And about that story... just my imagination flying away...but who knows, you never know if those cats were rescued or not. Since we'll never know, I'm going to say they were rescued!

You can forgive her all you want, and I forgive her too but what you seem to do is try to imply that it's okay if she abandoned all those cats. It is not okay. You can forgive but do not forget what she has done.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by white cat lover

It would be wonderful if that was the way it is - but this is more like reality.

And it probably doesn't make RussianKitty feel all "warm & fuzzy" inside. But the reality is that her past kitties could well be those faces. If she doesn't keep the current 3 kitties, or tries to save anymore - they could end up those faces. Her track record isn't looking so good right now - it's up to her to prove us wrong, prove she can provide for these 3 & will keep them forever.

oh.. that is sad...Wow. I wish I hadn't seen that... poor kitties.. at least they're safe now.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

You can forgive her all you want, and I forgive her too but what you seem to do is try to imply that it's okay if she abandoned all those cats. It is not okay. You can forgive but do not forget what she has done.

I never implied it was OK... if I made it seem that way then I'm sorry! I'll never forget this thread.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by carolinalima

You are a hopeless romantic - I have the diagnostic for you

lol!

 

[ut0pia]

Originally Posted by meminikitty

I never implied it was OK... if I made it seem that way then I'm sorry! I'll never forget this thread.

well I meant that you implied not that it was OK as in the right thing to do, but that it's okay now as in, don't worry about it. I meant to say that you can forgive her but you can't just try to make her feel all warm and fuzzy and feel better. She needs to be challenged to get herself the help she needs and change her situation, not consoled.

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

well I meant that you implied not that it was OK as in the right thing to do, but that it's okay now as in, don't worry about it.

Alright lol this thread is quite a jumble... I'll try to keep quiet and just see what advice everyone offers, if there's any more advice left!

 

[meminikitty]

Originally Posted by ut0pia

well I meant that you implied not that it was OK as in the right thing to do, but that it's okay now as in, don't worry about it. I meant to say that you can forgive her but you can't just try to make her feel all warm and fuzzy and feel better. She needs to be challenged to get herself the help she needs and change her situation, not consoled.

Oh! You added more!
And yes, you're right. You seem to know more about what to do than me.