(sorry, this is reeeeally long, i just wanted to get it off my chest)
Me and my husband are getting divorced and I am so scared. Dont get me wrong, I am happy because it is much needed and way overdue. We are at each other's throats. The whole idea of re-starting my life, and what the future is going to be like scares me.
He is leaving to go on another TDY in a few hours actually, and we planned on taking care of everything when he got back, which means spring next year. However, I made the mistake of telling my mother something i have kept secret from everyone for the past 7 months.(I was originally going to wait till after we were already divorced... I was afraid my dad would go crazy). Chris has a temper, but he isnt violent just for the hell of it, he has to get really really mad. And everytime he leaves to go on a TDy, he comes back meaner than the last.
Well, this past December, he had just got back from one and we got in a fight. He was in my face yelling and i pushed him, he kicked one of my legs out from under me and pushed me into a wall. I hit the corner and busted the back of my head open. I had no idea. We kept fighting and I realized I was bleeding. After that of course he started being beyond nice. And i told him i have to go to the ER, he got pissed again and said I am going only to get him in trouble... hello, my brains were hanging out. So i drove my self 20some miles to the hospital.
I think they knew what happend, because my arms were scratched, bruised, and bloody, but i wasnt crying, I had on a happy face, told them he was at work and that i just tripped and they looked at me funny, didnt ask anymore questions and sewed me up. I decided right then, I was going to avoid him as much as possible, finish school and leave.
A few days ago, I told my mom all of that, I dont know how she coaxed it out of me. But i made her promise not to tell my dad, which she did anyway of course. So they called the next day and said I am coming home as soon as my summer class is over. My dad is driving out here and helping me load up my stuff and we are going back to Oklahoma. State law says we have to be separated for 6months before I can serve papers, so I will live there and finish school and work.
I cry all the time though, I am sick to my stomach all the time because I am so nervous about how he is going to react. I dont think he realizes how serious I am about leaving, and he doesnt know that I am leaving in less than a month. I know he is going to get pissed and I dont want to deal with that. And his family lives in the same town that my family does, so what do I do when i see them? What do I say? I can run everytime I see them. And worst of all, his little sister called last week and asked if we would be the Godparents of her baby. How am i supposed to say no. His parents were just out here and think we are in perfect love. He is sooo lovey-dovey when other people are around. It is going to be even harder to leave my life here. I have some of the best friends I have ever had in my life, and she doesnt even know what is going on yet(mostly because her husband is my husbands boss).
It took me forever to adjust to married life, now I have to unajust. I am worried about me and him. I do love the guy, but we cant stay married. Even if he wasnt violent, he is degrading and verbally abusive. There was a lot leading up to this besides just what i mentioned. I have scars and marks on my arms where he has dug his nails into me and pulled up chunks of skin.
Both of my parents have been divorced once before and are being soooo supportive. But there is only so much they can say and then I am sitting here thinking, 'yea, you have to say that cuz your my mom.'
Sorry this is sooo long. I dont mean to complain. Thanks for listening though.
Me and my husband are getting divorced and I am so scared. Dont get me wrong, I am happy because it is much needed and way overdue. We are at each other's throats. The whole idea of re-starting my life, and what the future is going to be like scares me.
He is leaving to go on another TDY in a few hours actually, and we planned on taking care of everything when he got back, which means spring next year. However, I made the mistake of telling my mother something i have kept secret from everyone for the past 7 months.(I was originally going to wait till after we were already divorced... I was afraid my dad would go crazy). Chris has a temper, but he isnt violent just for the hell of it, he has to get really really mad. And everytime he leaves to go on a TDy, he comes back meaner than the last.
Well, this past December, he had just got back from one and we got in a fight. He was in my face yelling and i pushed him, he kicked one of my legs out from under me and pushed me into a wall. I hit the corner and busted the back of my head open. I had no idea. We kept fighting and I realized I was bleeding. After that of course he started being beyond nice. And i told him i have to go to the ER, he got pissed again and said I am going only to get him in trouble... hello, my brains were hanging out. So i drove my self 20some miles to the hospital.
I think they knew what happend, because my arms were scratched, bruised, and bloody, but i wasnt crying, I had on a happy face, told them he was at work and that i just tripped and they looked at me funny, didnt ask anymore questions and sewed me up. I decided right then, I was going to avoid him as much as possible, finish school and leave.
A few days ago, I told my mom all of that, I dont know how she coaxed it out of me. But i made her promise not to tell my dad, which she did anyway of course. So they called the next day and said I am coming home as soon as my summer class is over. My dad is driving out here and helping me load up my stuff and we are going back to Oklahoma. State law says we have to be separated for 6months before I can serve papers, so I will live there and finish school and work.
I cry all the time though, I am sick to my stomach all the time because I am so nervous about how he is going to react. I dont think he realizes how serious I am about leaving, and he doesnt know that I am leaving in less than a month. I know he is going to get pissed and I dont want to deal with that. And his family lives in the same town that my family does, so what do I do when i see them? What do I say? I can run everytime I see them. And worst of all, his little sister called last week and asked if we would be the Godparents of her baby. How am i supposed to say no. His parents were just out here and think we are in perfect love. He is sooo lovey-dovey when other people are around. It is going to be even harder to leave my life here. I have some of the best friends I have ever had in my life, and she doesnt even know what is going on yet(mostly because her husband is my husbands boss).
It took me forever to adjust to married life, now I have to unajust. I am worried about me and him. I do love the guy, but we cant stay married. Even if he wasnt violent, he is degrading and verbally abusive. There was a lot leading up to this besides just what i mentioned. I have scars and marks on my arms where he has dug his nails into me and pulled up chunks of skin.
Both of my parents have been divorced once before and are being soooo supportive. But there is only so much they can say and then I am sitting here thinking, 'yea, you have to say that cuz your my mom.'
Sorry this is sooo long. I dont mean to complain. Thanks for listening though.