The best moment of your life (so far...)

mr. cat

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Thank you, for both reading and appreciating that post of mine. Regarding the segment you quoted, let me say this: Yes, I lost the affection of people whom I'd considered friends. They were unable to fathom why I would make a maximum effort to "defend" someone the corporate mainstream media of communication deemed sub-human. Also, they feared contamination by their association with me: The power of the press is such that anyone who publicly goes against its grain incurs societal wrath — or should, in their opinion.

However, a few friends stood by me even as I continued to persevere under the unrelenting assault which ensued during that time. Sadly, one of the people who abandoned me (and I didn't even know it until later) was my brother. When we finally discussed the matter, he said: "I've got a family and a job; and people in the office are talking. 'Isn't that your brother in Oregon who's associated with that Tonya Harding character?' I decided to disown you and never speak to you again."

Big stuff, eh? The power of the press. Fortunately, we've completely reconciled (my brother and myself). Mind, middle-class people such as my brother and his family are the main targets of media advertisers — and hence of media news departments; thus it's harder for them (apparently) to read between the lines or maintain a circumspect attitude when a working-class person (Tonya) is being vilified. Peer pressure, real or perceived, grips the middle class tighter than it does either the upper or working class.

As to my career in journalism: I began by writing as a free lance for local newspapers in 1970, while taking the journalism curriculum at Portland Community College. I was sports editor for that school's weekly newspaper, The Bridge. For my final two years of tertiary education I attended the University of Oregon School of Journalism, graduating in 1973. While there, I was a special correspondent for that school's daily newspaper, The Oregon Daily Emerald.

During my junior year, I was selected for a summer internship at KOIN-TV News in Portland (the internship was a state-wide competition amongst all system of higher education schools). During my senior year, I worked at KOIN on weekends as a producer and journeyman reporter — the good old days of the American Federation of Radio and Television Artists. I went full time upon graduation from university. After withstanding the fallout from an upper-and-middle management change, I finally became tired of the "new order" (which seemed more interested in show business than journalism) and quit. I then got a job at KEZI-TV News in Eugene (Oregon) as producer, reporter and anchor. I missed the level of professionalism in Portland, however; so I took an offer to work at KOIN-AM and FM News, with my "old" employer!

I'd no sooner begun working there, when the National Organization for Women made KOIN a target. Their agent, Jane Hoyt, got a job on the radio side and angled for the news department. She didn't work out and returned to the announcing (disk jockey) side. N.O.W. then revealed itself and began to picket the station. Guess who became the sacrificial lamb? (Answer: me. "We've got to cut the budget; and it's a union shop; and you were the last person hired. . . ." Jane had my job two days later, sufficient budget having been found in 48 hours' time.) Sadly, several years later, Jane committed suicide — abandoned and forgotten by N.O.W., which had accomplished its Beltway-oriented goal. We were, both of us, victims of political correctness.

Upon being laid off by KOIN I took a job as news editor at The Stayton Mail, a small-town weekly newspaper. After several months, I was offered a job as chief writer for GrassRoots — a monthly magazine based in Salem, the state capitol. Not long afterward, we quit getting paid! So, I decided to take leave of journalism for the time being (this was in 1977) and took various and sundry odd jobs.

In the early 1980s, I decided to return to the fold. I became news director at KGAL-AM News in Albany, Oregon. I did, however, grow to hate the lack of professionalism and the low pay. So I quit, ending up as animal caretaker at a veterinary hospital in the Portland metropolitan area. Meanwhile, I kept writing: for the newsletter published by the Washington Park Zoo (now called the Oregon Zoo), for the newsletter published by the Bonneville Power Administration, et cetera.

When the international media-circus came to town in 1994, I was commissioned as a free lance to write articles for the bi-weekly alternative newspaper PDXS. In December of that year, I made the decision to stop doing journalism altogether.

As to why some people decided I wasn't good company anymore: During the media circus, I was interviewed by practically everybody from the C.B.S. Radio Network to The New York Times to Crossfire on C.N.N.; and I made no bones about the fact that Tonya was being railroaded, my conclusion based upon a total lack of incriminating "hard" evidence as well as the character of her ex-husband and his friends. Everything she was accused of was based upon conjecture, hearsay and third-hand gossip. Naturally, the big-shot media downplayed the origins of the "evidence" and played up the front-office-approved circulation-and-ratings spin.

The aftermath included my hospitalization for major depression and suicide ideation — the very same maladies which afflicted Tonya during that time (and which in her case continue to this day).

=^..^=
 

debby

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That is so horrible that even your own brother alienated you just for having a different opinion, and standing up for it. I am glad you have reconciled though.

As for your "friends" who deserted you during that time...they could not have been real friends. I am only now, after almost 36 years of life, finding out what "real" friendship is....and just because someone is really close to you, doesn't make them a "real" friend...the true test is when they stay by you during the really rough times, and understand the changes in you.

You have alot of "real" friends here.
 

debby

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Also....I just went back and reread your last post, after I posted the one above...and it suddenly dawned on me who you were talking about....( I can be a bit slow....forgive me)
You are talking about the skater, that was accused of hurting Nancy Kerrigan back in 94 or 95, right?
I always did wonder what the REAL story was behind that...and I also found it exremely intriguing. If Tanya was unjustly accussed then it is no wonder she is having problems with depression, even to this day, as the media was very cruel to her.
 

mr. cat

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Thank you, for replying to my posts regarding the above-mentioned matter! When I first came to the inter-net, I was saddened upon discovering the extent of successful brainwashing on this issue — carried out by corporate mainstream media of communication. I'd begun to "get over" that whole episode, but the inter-net dragged it all out for me to see once more.

Once, on another message board, this matter arose in discussion. It was the approved "party line," of course: "Tonya Harding the white-trash no-good bitch," et cetera. I made the mistake of pointing out a few of the major flaws in the hate campaign directed against her; but rather than receiving appreciative remarks in return, I myself became the target of a most hateful attack by board members.

But, hope springing eternal and all that, I felt the people here would be above such a vendetta. So, when the question "What are you proudest of?" was put, I offered a limited description of that traumatic period in my life. I'll always be proud of having stood against such a filthy propaganda machine as was brought to bear in 1994. It's especially good to know you've managed to keep your circumspection intact!

=^..^=
 

airprincess

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I just saw the E true hollywood story on Tonya probably, 2 months ago. I found it fasinating. I don't know if you've seen it or not, but I think it did a good job of not portraying her as a villian. It didn't skew one way or the other. It was basically just the facts of what was known, plus her history and how she got into skating. She had a very hard life growing up, and I remember feeling bad about the abusive relationship she found herself in.

I remember when it all happened, and thinking about how Nancy Kerrigan was portrayed as a victimized little princess, and how that was probably just as off as portraying Tonya as the villian. We love a good fairy tale, and this story had all the elements. someone had to be the heroine and someone had to be the villian. It was a tragic iccident.

do you still talk to Tonya? I would be very curious how she is.
 

threeleggedkat

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Air Princess; I too, saw that E special. Thanks for posting this response. At the time of the incident I felt like Tonya was being railroaded and didn't know a whole lot about her or her bad relationships or abusive home, etc. I do remember seeing her skate from a very young age and always felt she was very talented. I read something lately where she is working with training young skaters, but maybe Mr. Cat can tell us more about how she is doing. I think it must have been hell for her the way the press hounded her for years after the incident. I remember seeing something where she was just trying to get her Jeep out of her driveway and the press were pushing her and knocked her keys out of her hand as she tried to open the car door and then they wrote somethings about her "hair-triggered temper" when she reacted to this hassell no differently than anyone of us would have
 

mr. cat

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I've not spoken with Tonya since May, 1994. Although we'd developed a friendly relationship in the few years prior to that time — mine being rather an avuncular role — the immediacy and intensity of the media circus in January 1994 plunged Tonya into a void of depression, thus clouding her judgment. (Perhaps some of us know how that works!)

An "asshole magnet" from an early age, Tonya had found a new looser to cling to in the person of one Douglas Lemon. He was, like her ex-husband, adept at the art of control: He knew what buttons to push to make her "behave," rage being one tactic traditionally employed by such confidence men.

Whilst contemplating what to do now that the sky had fallen on her, Tonya was "helped" by Lemon and his mother Linda Cloud (who taught him all he knew about control): First, abandon the career of figure skating altogether; second, abandon any and all previous relationships — no matter what they were based upon (agape, filial, erotic); third, cling only to Lemon and look upon skeptics of that relationship as enemies.

They were never totally successful in getting Tonya to eschew figure skating. That discipline was — and will always be — her first love. But regarding relationships, they were quite successful. Immediately, I was "out of the loop." My patience lasted a couple of years (silly me), but finally gave out. Mind, I knew full well the modus operandi at work: Isolate Tonya and get all that money she must be pulling in.

As it turned out, Tonya ended up with little or nothing in the way of money. It all went to pay attorney's fees and the huge fines levied against her by the "justice" system. When it finally became apparent to Lemon and Company that the well was dry, they gave up and moved on. Immediately, Tonya managed to find yet another looser. (Perhaps some of us know young women who have a penchant for this behavior.)

Major depression, frequent suicide ideation, inherited alcoholism, a childhood replete with sexual abuse and the resultant lack of self esteem all combined to doom Tonya to oblivion. All those nice, decent middle-class people who believe everything told them by the corporate media found a readily-available punching bag in Tonya. It was (and is) politically correct to dehumanize her: She hasn't a university degree; she's from the working class; she hasn't deep pockets; she has white skin, blue eyes and blond hair; she has no political power-base . . . the list goes on and on.

I miss Tonya, but as she's never grasped the concept of fence-mending I've concluded our once-friendly relationship is merely a chapter in my personal history. Thanks for listening and good afternoon!



=^..^=
 

threeleggedkat

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Joe; Thank you for responding. What a shame Tonya doesn't realize what she lost when she severed ties with you. I have always been thankful that I have not needed a man to reaffirm who or what I am. Most of the trouble with my personal relationships has been that I am too strong a personality and I do not tolerate dishonesty or control freaks.
 

airprincess

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I feel bad that Tonya isn't able to hold onto the right relationships while weeding out the bad. A very, very sad story. Even sadder than the one that the public knows. Am I crazy for suggesting this, but what would happen if you contacted her out of the blue? this may not be something you have any interest in doing, but I find time helps, and if it was an important relationship to you then, then maybe something is salvagable. just a thought.
 

mr. cat

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I gotta tell ya! I'm just not interested in contacting Tonya anymore. She did her best to burn all bridges; and I'm no longer in a position to be of any help to her. Back in "those days," I was instrumental in her carrying on with her career: She'd wanted to quit, since the stultifying politics of figure skating has swung away from her "athletic" style and toward the "swanning about" fur-coat-crowd Yamaguchi style. Money talks. I was one person in a small group of professional people who felt she hadn't been given an even break, especially in her home town (Portland had become the political-correctness capitol of the Northwest by then).

Our relationship was strictly one of respect for each other's talents. Mind, we liked one another as well; but she's 26 years younger than me! Of course, being a male personage and all, I couldn't help but feel a certain attraction to her. Hey, I'm only human! But I maintained a respectful distance, so that nothing improper could be construed.

Anyway, Tonya was a real kick in the ass and I'm glad I knew her. Until the Lemon/Cloud one-two punch set in, she helped me with groceries and moral support when I was first homeless. I'm afraid, however, that whereas I'm doing just fine her future appears bleak — even though, in practice, she can still land that triple Axel. (She was doing quad Axels in practice back during the early 1990s — before any guys, even.)



=^..^=
 

airprincess

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I understand that sometimes too much damage has been done to ever go back. I have a relationship (or should I say a PAST relationship) that I wish more than anything I could mend, but sadly it's not possible. sigh. so is life.
 

mr. cat

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Thank you for your understanding! I'm sorry it's happened to you, too. It's amazing how powerful a sense of loss can be.



=^..^=
 

debby

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Mr. Cat....

Thank you for telling us your story....I am also sad to hear that Tonya did not realize the true friend she had in you, but I can understand with all the backstabing that she had to put up with, and the horid medias attacks, it was probably difficult for her to weed out who was and wasnt her true friend.

I pray someday she realizes it.
 

mr. cat

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Thank you, for your kind remarks. I'm leaving The Cat Site, by the way. I shall miss you and many of the board members here; but I cannot abide the discourtesy and rudeness which was leveled against a person (on another thread) who came here seeking help. I shall not be responding to further posts, but please know you and many others from The Cat Site will be in my thoughts. Say good-bye to them for me. Bless you!

=^..^=
 

donna

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Mr. Cat,

I hope I am not the reason you are leaving the catsite. If it is PLEASE stay. I would hate to think I that I was the cause. I have been very depressed and "anxious" lately, to the point of having an anxiety attack in my car this morning. Sometimes it is out of my control and I feel helpless. If I offended anyone I sincerely apologize. I do have a tendency to get "heated" when it comes to issues such as declawing and I know there is a more polite way to discuss these issues. But when you're in cat rescue as I am (as well as Sandie and Rene) the ignorance of some people grate on one's nerves like nails on a chalkboard. I will avoid such issues in the future if it'll make you change your mind.

 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #36

blue

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Originally posted by Mr. Cat
I'm leaving The Cat Site, by the way. I cannot abide the discourtesy and rudeness which was leveled against a person (on another thread) who came here seeking help. I shall not be responding to further posts.

=^..^=
Mr.Cat

first off, i have not seen this thread you are referring to
nor do i know which person(s) participated, but, i must say,
whatever happened, it will happen wherever it is you choose
to go on-line, or in life, will it not? why not try talking
with that person or persons instead of this (in my opinion)
dramatic goodbye - you have 200 posts here, you have been
here since i invited you to take a look at this site, and
we have all enjoyed your posts and company, and you decide
despite all of that, you are just going to leave, leave
without even responding to other peoples goodbyes! i think
that surely isnt fair, nor courteous.

...and i must add TheCatSite forums, and the people here are
a beautiful community, everyone here, that i have "met" has
been kind and made time for me, but they arent perfect. we
all have bad days, and bad moods, and moments of rudeness,
or just plain honesty despite other's feelings.

if you wish to leave this place, that is your decision,
though i do hope you give it further consideration, one incident,
in my own opinion, would not merit me leaving this kind, and generous group.

like i said, i dont know what you are referring to, but, i
do hope you give it more thought. whatever happened, and
with whomever it was, i hope you can get over it, i'm sure
it isnt worth it.



[Edited by blue on 05-03-2001 at 08:45 PM]
 

mr. cat

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Okay, I walked off (so to speak) over the way the above-mentioned matter was handled. But I'm back. And the reason I'm back is that Blue, Donna and Three-Legged Kat convinced me (though you diplomatically avoided putting it in so many words) I'd be a big jerk to just stomp off over this disagreement. They're right! I'm sorry to have abandoned ship in the midst of a stormy sea, but I couldn't stay away. Silly me. I'm here for the duration.

:chicken:

=^..^=
 

debby

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Well gee.... did I even have a little part in convincing you to stay with us???



*pouts*
 

threeleggedkat

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Thank God, you are back, Joe. I read an e-mail from you this am and responded before I read this post. I would have missed you terribly and am glad you have decided to give us "gals" (PMS and all) another chance. . . . . . . . . I look forward to more conversations with you, but I was not going to beg you to come back because that is not who I am and I hope all Site members will take anything I say, or have said, as "of the moment" for I know I say some off the wall things sometimes......Love you, Mr. Cat as well as Michaelena and Tonya.
 
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