Territory woes and feeling sad

[shadowsrescue]

I have written before about some territory issues between my feral, Shadow and the latest feral/stray Marvin ( recent name change from Orange kitty).  Shadow has lived comfortably on my deck going on 3 years now.  He has shared the space on/off with my other feral, Patches who chooses to come and go.  Marvin has been here since mid December.  The issues between Marvin and Shadow have escalated during the past 4-6 weeks.  Marvin has decided to take over the space and Shadow being my timid boy is allowing it.  There have been a few spats along the way, but mostly hissing and chasing.  Shadow is now to the point that most days he is petrified to come onto the deck if Marvin is there or even if Marvin is under the deck.  It used to be that Marvin showed up in the late evening and stayed the night on the deck then left for the day.  Now he is staying under the deck during the day.  I am having to feed Shadow in the mornings at my front door as he won't come onto the deck.  Marvin just begs for attention.  He will cry at the door and just wants to be pet, brushed and doted on.  He obviously was an owned cat at one time.  He is neutered and Shadow too.  Last night I brought Shadow into the house and had them spend time on either side of the screen door.  Shadow hissed at first and then they just looked at each other and both laid down.  When Shadow was ready to go out, I put him out the front door.  He stayed off the deck all night until near 5am and then just hid waiting for breakfast. 

My main concern is Shadow.  I have worked so hard to socialize this little feral.  He showed up when he was a skinny 5 month old kitten all alone in the world.  I have worked to pet him, lift him and recently he will sit in my lap.  He comes inside the house for short visits and has slept inside all night a few times during summer storms or winter storms/cold.  Yet he is happiest outside.  I have thought about bringing him inside full time.  Yet, I have a large dog who scares Shadow as well as an indoor kitty who is not particularly fond of Shadow.  I know Shadow would be miserable. 

I also have thought of trying to find a place for Marvin.  It would take a special person as I don't know about his ability to live inside.  He seems interested in coming inside, but for right now I do not want him inside.  My heart breaks that Marvin so wants to be loved and to find his forever home.  Yet at what expense?

How likely is it that these two will work things out?  Shadow is just so timid that I worry it will drive him away.  I am using flower essences and spraying Feliway on deck areas. 

There are days when Marvin is calm and relaxed and Shadow sees him and just hisses and runs.  It is definitely a fear aggression.  Shadow was attacked in February by another cat and since this incident he has been on high alert. 

This weekend has been so difficult for me.  I feel sad.  I feel as though all I am trying is just not working or not working fast enough.  DH really likes Marvin and wants me to keep him and keep working.  It is taking all of my energy. 

Any tips or suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[feralvr]

Oh hun... big hugs to you. Yes, caring for feral and stray cats does drain us emotionally and physically. What you are dealing with is so very, very common and yet is so very difficult (almost impossible) for the caretaker to fix. Shadow and Marvin are working things out, but it may be as good as it will ever get, unfortunately. Since Marvin is so sweet and loving, I think I might try to find a home for him. It won't hurt anything to try. Since your husband likes him so much, then it just might work bringing Marvin indoors to live permanently (of course, confined at first and proper intros. with your resident cat.) Then Shadow can have his deck back. :nod: The decisions are not easy, but there are options and things you can try. Don't be hard on yourself and take good care of yourself. You are doing such a great thing for all of these cats in your care. When a new one comes along, things always change and sometimes for the better and sometimes not. The cats will work it out, but it is definitely very hard on the hearts of the caretakers to watch.

I know of another feral caretaker who has only two feral cats whom do not get along at all and never have. One lives in the front part of her house and one lives in the back part of her house. She has a front porch and a back deck. They have lived this way in harmony for years, each having their own "territory" on her property.

I wish you all my best in trying to find a solution, one way or another, and realize that sometimes the solution is something you are already doing.... the best you can. :nod:

 

[shadowsrescue]

Oh hun... big hugs to you.

Yes, caring for feral and stray cats does drain us emotionally and physically. What you are dealing with is so very, very common and yet is so very difficult (almost impossible) for the caretaker to fix. Shadow and Marvin are working things out, but it may be as good as it will ever get, unfortunately. Since Marvin is so sweet and loving, I think I might try to find a home for him. It won't hurt anything to try. Since your husband likes him so much, then it just might work bringing Marvin indoors to live permanently (of course, confined at first and proper intros. with your resident cat.) Then Shadow can have his deck back.

The decisions are not easy, but there are options and things you can try. Don't be hard on yourself and take good care of yourself. You are doing such a great thing for all of these cats in your care. When a new one comes along, things always change and sometimes for the better and sometimes not. The cats will work it out, but it is definitely very hard on the hearts of the caretakers to watch.

I know of another feral caretaker who has only two feral cats whom do not get along at all and never have. One lives in the front part of her house and one lives in the back part of her house. She has a front porch and a back deck. They have lived this way in harmony for years, each having their own "territory" on her property.

I wish you all my best in trying to find a solution, one way or another, and realize that sometimes the solution is something you are already doing.... the best you can.

Thanks so much for you kind words.  I have decided to just try and take things day by day.  I would like to give the boys a few more weeks to see if there can be any more improvements made.  Last night was a good night.  Both boys slept on the deck ( on different sides) and there were no conflicts.  I will continue what I am doing as well as seeing if there is anything I can do to boost Shadow's confidence level.  I keep telling him to hold his body up straight, head held high and tail relaxed!  Maybe one day he will understand me!!  I also have watched a few episodes of Animal Planets "My Cat From Hell"  there have been a few ferals on there as well as some bully and timid cats.  Shadow loves to play feather and Da Bird so maybe some good play sessions will help him.  I am just willing to try anything. 

If it comes down to it, I will have to find a home for Marvin. 

Here's to a good day!

 

[feralvr]

Thanks so much for you kind words.  I have decided to just try and take things day by day.  I would like to give the boys a few more weeks to see if there can be any more improvements made.  Last night was a good night.  Both boys slept on the deck ( on different sides) and there were no conflicts.  I will continue what I am doing as well as seeing if there is anything I can do to boost Shadow's confidence level.  I keep telling him to hold his body up straight, head held high and tail relaxed!  Maybe one day he will understand me!!  I also have watched a few episodes of Animal Planets "My Cat From Hell"  there have been a few ferals on there as well as some bully and timid cats.  Shadow loves to play feather and Da Bird so maybe some good play sessions will help him.  I am just willing to try anything. 

If it comes down to it, I will have to find a home for Marvin. 

Here's to a good day!

HEY!! Wonderful to hear that they both slept on the deck! HUGE HUGE progress. Good plan that you have now. Things all will fall into place they way that they should. :bigthumb: Keep us updated.

YES! :beerpals: Cheers to a good day!!!!! :winkblue:

 

[shadowsrescue]

Another good night last night.  Shadow was on the loveseat and Marvin just 4 feet away on his chair pad playing happily away with a catnip toy.  Shadow either watched or dozed.  At one point he even turned his back to Marvin and went to sleep.  It seems they do fine when both are laying down or sleeping, but movements create issues.  DH came home late last night and Shadow was sitting up on the loveseat.  He sat up for almost 30 minutes before being brave enough to jump down.  Of course this startled Marvin who went after Shadow.  Yet, Marvin didn't go off the deck.  Instead he came right over to the loveseat and jumped up.  He stayed there most of the night.  Shadow came back a few hours later and went into his tent structure on the other side of the deck and slept there most of the night.  Another neighbor cat startled them both around 5am and Shadow and Marvin both left.  Of course right around 6:30am, both cats reappeared waiting for breakfast.  Shadow crept up the back of the deck and hid in the corner.  Marvin saw him and chased him off the deck.  Yet, bravely Shadow came back just a few minutes later.  I was then able to feed each of them in their own feeding stations at the same time!  Shadows is on one side of the deck and Marvin's on the other.  I still have issues when Shadow leaves and then wants to come back.  If Marvin is sleeping all is well.  Yet, if Marvin is awake he will start to go after Shadow.  Fortunately most days by 10-10:30am, Marvin has moved to under the deck and I can call Shadow back.  Hopefully I can get them more comfortable with moving around each other. 

So good news is no fights.  Yet, chasing away is still happening.  I may try having DH come out to see Marvin while I am out with Shadow and see if we can get them moving around with the both of us there.  I just hope to find a happy medium somewhere!
 

 

[bastfriend]

Hi Shadowsrescue, your current dilemma is one I can relate to right now!    First my ideas generated by your posts, on one of the My Cat From Hell episodes Jackson Galaxy talked about "eat play love" strategy.   To get both of the warring cats in the same room with two people they accept (or deck in  your case) and give them treats, pet them, and play with them at the same time so they start to associate being in the presence of the other with good things.   It seemed to work on the show!   I plan to try to work with this with my indoor two who don't always get along.    The other thought is that trying to find Marvin a home where he'd be the main cat could work out well - it seems what he wants???     I relate to your trouble because over here a new cat has appeared and yesterday confronted Hercules in his hangout spot, there was yowling and possible violence I could not see, and now Hercules is gone again and I saw the new cat again today.   This has happened before - Hercules will not share his territory he will fight the other cat off or leave himself for a week.    It is all quite frustrating and try not to make myself sick with worry but I still do.    Much sympathies for how tough all this is on you and I hope you can find a resolution that's great for everyone!

 

[shadowsrescue]

Hi Shadowsrescue, your current dilemma is one I can relate to right now!    First my ideas generated by your posts, on one of the My Cat From Hell episodes Jackson Galaxy talked about "eat play love" strategy.   To get both of the warring cats in the same room with two people they accept (or deck in  your case) and give them treats, pet them, and play with them at the same time so they start to associate being in the presence of the other with good things.   It seemed to work on the show!   I plan to try to work with this with my indoor two who don't always get along.    The other thought is that trying to find Marvin a home where he'd be the main cat could work out well - it seems what he wants???     I relate to your trouble because over here a new cat has appeared and yesterday confronted Hercules in his hangout spot, there was yowling and possible violence I could not see, and now Hercules is gone again and I saw the new cat again today.   This has happened before - Hercules will not share his territory he will fight the other cat off or leave himself for a week.    It is all quite frustrating and try not to make myself sick with worry but I still do.    Much sympathies for how tough all this is on you and I hope you can find a resolution that's great for everyone!

I hope to be able to play with both of them on the deck soon. Last night I had DH come out and sit with Marvin while I tended to Shadow.  Marvin will accept pets from him, but DH is tall, deep voice and quick movements which scare Marvin.  I hope to get some help from DS once he has some time.  He is in the midst of taking AP exams and also has prom this weekend. 

Marvin also has no idea how to play.  The first few times I brought the feather out he ran.  Then yesterday I kept it somewhat hidden and then slowly showed him.  He was interested, but also very scared.  It was take some time.  I also have tried the laser and he would only watch my hand!  He does love his catnip toys though!

Last night it rained as I was going to bed.  Both cats went under the deck.  Marvin did appear a bit later when the rain had ended, but Shadow remained away until 5am.  Both boys are on the deck now, Marvin by the sliding door on one side and Shadow on his tent on the loveseat on the other side.  Things are improving, but ever so slowly.

I totally get Hercules fighting for his territory, running off for days at a time and then you worrying about his safety.  I have a 3rd feral who comes and goes and always has me worried about his safety.  Since he was neutered in mid March of this year he has only returned 3x.  He is a wanderer and stops by when he needs me. 

I hope the "eat play love" strategy works on your indoor kitties!

 

[shadowsrescue]

Thursday was an up and down day.  I had some play time with each of them on the deck mid morning.  It went well, but Shadow ran off when he felt threatened.  I decided to plant some flowers and was out working away when I went to find Shadow.  He enjoys spending time with me when I am working in the yard.  I found him on my front stoop.  He quickly followed me to my work area and was watching me dig and sniffing around.  I then heard the familiar squeak/meow of Marvin.  He didn't want to miss out on the fun either.  I told Shadow just to stay by me.  Marvin began to approach and Shadow got nervous.  Marvin acted as though he was going to chase Shadow and I called him off.  He left and headed toward the front of the house.  Shadow stayed by me and was hanging out in some bushes.  All at once, I heard a yowl and Marvin had ambushed Shadow.  Shadow seemed fine as he went and rolled around on the driveway.  Marvin ran off and I did not see him again until evening.  Shadow was a nervous nelly the rest of the day, hanging out in the front bushes and only coming to the back deck when I walked there with him.  At dinner time, I fed Shadow on the front stoop.  After dinner DH was out playing with Marvin.  He loves the da bird like toy that has a bug on the end.  Out of no where Shadow appeared.  He wanted a bit more to eat and to check out what was going on.  He came and sat in my lap awhile and watched DH play with Marvin.  Then he left and I haven't seen him since.  We had storms last night and he always hides and sometimes takes awhile to come out.  I have food on the front stoop, and have been out calling to Shadow and there is no sign of him. 

After yesterdays ambush, I decided it might be time to try and find a home for Marvin.  He is as sweet as can be, but the territory issues are causing too much stress.  Most rescues are full since it is full blown kitten season.  A few other places I haven't heard from.  Of course after I made some calls and sent some emails, I cried and cried.  I keep feeling there is something more I could do.  He is just so sweet and loving.  I will wait and see what happens.

 

[di and bob]

Bless you for caring and helping so much. I'll send you vibes that Marvin finds a good permanent home. Since he's already neutered that's got to be in his favor. I've got a feral too who protects his territory, I cry when the neighbors baby kittens get around a year old, he attacks again and again until they run off, it's heartbreaking. We cry because we care, but nature doesn't take much notice, good luck!  

 

[bastfriend]

Shadowsrescue, it is so hard wanting to make everything right for them, only have the space, time, money to help some but not all.   Marvin is still lucky he found you and even if you eventually give him to another home, he still has such a better chance in life than he would have had otherwise.   You are helping him. 

 

[shadowsrescue]

Friday was a most incredible day.  Marvin was on his best behavior the entire day.  Shadow hung around the deck almost all day too and all night as well.  If they can just keep themselves in their own spaces all is ok.  It may seem strange, but I talk to my cats and tell them the rules that I expect and I of them.  It just seems that Marvin really understands me.  He is trying so hard.  Yet, it seems that there is one step forward and two steps back.  I am having family here for the weekend and that is always upsetting to the cats.  We are also going from daytime highs in the upper 70's to daytime highs in the low 50's.  Yuck! 

I have not heard back from any of the rescue organizations I contacted.  Maybe that is a sign that I just need to keep him.  For now I will keep trying and just do my best. 

Thank you all for you kind words and encouragement.
 

 

[shadowsrescue]

I have waited a week to give another update.  Marvin and Shadow had been doing so well.  They would both hang out on the deck together during the day and at night, Shadow would go to his shelter and Marvin to his chair pad.  I had been spending alot of time with each and my DH would help out with Marvin.  I felt that maybe progress was being made and we were on our way.  Shadow was feeling more confident and was able to leave his shelter at night or leave the deck during the day without Marvin going after him. 

Then, the unexpected happened.  Marvin was attacked on our deck by another cat on Monday night.  He was sleeping soundly on the chair pad when this other cat approached.  From my outdoor camera pics I could see that Marvin did not "win" the fight.  At the end he was cowering.  He only had a small wound on the top of his head and a scratch on his neck.  The amount of fur was unbelievable.  I had a feeling Marvin was not very happy about the situation.  I have no idea who this cat belongs to either.  So all day Monday, Marvin was not nice to Shadow.  He was chasing him off the deck and chasing him in the yard.  I had a bad feeling that night time would not go well.  Shadow had spent most of the night away from the deck.  I believe he sensed Marvin's heightened sense.  Yet, he came to his shelter around 3:30am and was peacefully sleeping when out of no where Marvin came into the shelter, jumped onto the loveseat and showed Shadow who's boss.  It wasn't awful, but poor Shadow burrowed under the blanket and hid.  I figured Marvin would have some redirected aggression and Shadow would be the target.  So Shadow has not been on the deck since.  I am so sad.  He is sleeping near my front door as well as eating there too.  I am hoping that once Marvin calms down, I can coax Shadow back. 

I feel it's just 1 step forward and 2 giant steps backward.
 

 

[krz]

Oh,  my heart goes out to you.  I think I fret over my ferals more than my inside cats.  I hope things work out.  It does seem to me that both boys seem like strays that used to maybe belong to someone,  or maybe I am wrong.   Were they neutered when they came to you or did you TNR?  Regardless,  the fact that you can pet them is wonderful.   I hope things work out,  maybe a shelter for each of them?

I know that can surprise you once they do get inside.  I fed a cat outside for over 2 years and could not trap him no matter how I tried.   He even broke out of a drop trap.  But he came in one afternoon and stayed the night.   It was like he lived his whole life indoors,  he loves it and never goes out or has the desire to.

Please don't be discouraged,  you are doing such good things for both Shadow and Marvin, where would they be without you?

 

[shadowsrescue]

Oh,  my heart goes out to you.  I think I fret over my ferals more than my inside cats.  I hope things work out.  It does seem to me that both boys seem like strays that used to maybe belong to someone,  or maybe I am wrong.   Were they neutered when they came to you or did you TNR?  Regardless,  the fact that you can pet them is wonderful.   I hope things work out,  maybe a shelter for each of them?

I know that can surprise you once they do get inside.  I fed a cat outside for over 2 years and could not trap him no matter how I tried.   He even broke out of a drop trap.  But he came in one afternoon and stayed the night.   It was like he lived his whole life indoors,  he loves it and never goes out or has the desire to.

Please don't be discouraged,  you are doing such good things for both Shadow and Marvin, where would they be without you?

Shadow is my true feral.  I've had him since he was 5 months old and worked my tail off to socialize him.  I have tried before to have him live inside, but he prefers his outdoor space.  My indoor kitty also does not like Shadow.  Marvin is definitely a stray who was very feral like for months and months.  He loves it here and would really like to come inside.  I am just not ready for him to be inside yet.  I also have to contend with my indoor cat.  Both of the boys have been neutered.  Shadow at 8 months and Marvin just this past March.  I did TNR with both of them.

I just want peace.  I love Shadow with all my heart and soul.  He is such a timid boy and will never ever "grow a pair" to stand up to other cats.  Marvin is just as sweet as can be when he has us all to himself. He just wants to be loved. 

I will keep working and working as I really don't have any other alternatives.  I contacted a few shelters, but everyone is full beyond capacity.  I don't see Marvin as being very adoptable as it would take a very very special person to put time and energy into him.  I would never give up Shadow.  I even contacted a place that specializes in Orange cats to see if they could help out.  I have called and left messages and sent emails and have never received a response.  I assume that is the universes way of telling me that Marvin is mine to keep.

 

[bastfriend]

Bummer!   I've had this happen too, some new cat shows up out of nowhere and fights and upsets the apple cart.   I wonder why?   don't they see the territory is already taken?    I hope things settle down for your kitties Shadowsrescue.

 

[shadowsrescue]

A brief update.  Shadow continues to make his home on the front porch and front yard.  He did venture onto the deck while I was planting on Saturday.  I was very proud of him.  Of course Marvin was not around.  On Sunday we took his large shelter house down for the winter.  It just gets too hot inside for summer use.  We rearranged the deck and I made a space for him on the lower level with his loveseat and feeding station.  I tried my best to get him to check it out, but he wouldn't come.  Late in the evening I was sitting out on the deck and I could see him off to the side.  He finally got brave and came onto the deck with Marvin there.  I got him up on his loveseat and he was so happy and content.  He ended up staying for 4 hours, but has not been back to the deck since.  It just makes me sad to see is home ripped away from him. 

Marvin has been very subdued for days.  He was ambushed by a neighbor's cat one night last week.  It took him by surprise and he did not come out the "winner".  I thought he was fine with only a minor scratch on top of his head.  Yet by last Friday his face was somewhat swollen and the wound was full of puss.  I was able to clean the wound with soap and water and apply antibiotic ointment.  I also had some liquid clavamox on hand and began giving it to him.  All he wanted to do was sleep.  I used a few homeopathic remedies too as well as flower essences.  Of course the night after the attack, Shadow had been sleeping on the deck in his shelter and Marvin felt the need to show who's boss and jumped onto the loveseat and pounced onto Shadow.  Shadow just huddled in a ball and burrowed under the blanket.  Marvin did leave him alone.  I figured it was redirected aggression after the fight.  Marvin is finally feeling better today and even wanted to play a bit.  I am so glad he will not need a trip to the vet.

I feel like most of my day is spent taking care and working on the cats.  I try to play with Shadow at least 2x a day for 10-15 minutes.  I am trying to boost his confidence with play.  I sit with him on the front porch too so that I can spend some time with him.  Now that Marvin is on the mend, I need to play with him.  He really has no idea how to play.  I have used da bird, other items on strings, lasers, balls, etc..  and he just sits there and stares.  I finally got him to play with a string, but it is quite limited and very short lived.  He spends all of his time on the deck or under the deck.  He is not interested in all of the birds, squirrels, chipmunks, ducks, etc.. that frolic my yard.  He could care less.  He just sits and stares and chirps ( his strange meow) at the door.  It breaks my heart. 

I am toying with the idea of moving Shadow inside.  He comes inside the house and has spent nights inside when it is stormy or bitter cold.  Yet, he can't wait to get back outside.  He cannot live on the front porch forever, but he does not trust Marvin.  I feel so disloyal to Shadow if I move Marvin inside.  Shadow would never come inside then.  I also have an indoor only cat, Jake who wants nothing to do with the outside cats.  He is so territorial inside just as Marvin is outside.  I feel it would be another battle. 

Some days, like today, I feel exhausted and burned out.  It is just hard work.  I just wish I had a crystal ball to know what is the right thing to do.  I always knew Shadow would eventually end up inside, but I wanted it to be on his terms.  Summer is the season he loves best.  I guess I could let him live outside for the summer and then move him inside for the late fall or winter. 

Sorry this is so long, I just wanted to get it all down and out of my head.  There will always be possibilities and I will do the best I can for all of the kitties!

 

[abisiobhan]

I have had Gerald all my life -or my grandmother before me. An indoor Kitty can gradually accept a new cat but as you well know it is not easy!! IF Shadow has his ownvspace for a time andcthey gradually and I mean well over time adjustvto one another, I really think itcwill work. I have always spayed or neutered the outspread Kitty if possible first -or kept them inside for a very short period prior to the procedure because that will make a huge difference esp with 2 males! Try towrling each one or using an old tee shirt of yours for each of them so they understand andceecognize the smells as acceptable.It takes time, love and patience but in time they can become friends and if not -in some instances tho in ky personal cases -not that anecdotes answer everything and no 2 cats are alike -some learn to tolerate others if they have had much of the territory themselves. Best of luck. Then you can work on the next Kitty. :-)

 

[abisiobhan]

I have had Gerald all my life -or my grandmother before me. An indoor Kitty can gradually accept a new cat but as you well know it is not easy!! IF Shadow has his ownvspace for a time andcthey gradually and I mean well over time adjustvto one another, I really think itcwill work. I have always spayed or neutered the outspread Kitty if possible first -or kept them inside for a very short period prior to the procedure because that will make a huge difference esp with 2 males! Try towrling each one or using an old tee shirt of yours for each of them so they understand andceecognize the smells as acceptable.It takes time, love and patience but in time they can become friends and if not -in some instances tho in ky personal cases -not that anecdotes answer everything and no 2 cats are alike -some learn to tolerate others if they have had much of the territory themselves. Best of luck. Then you can work on the next Kitty. :-)

 

[shadowsrescue]

I have had Gerald all my life -or my grandmother before me. An indoor Kitty can gradually accept a new cat but as you well know it is not easy!! IF Shadow has his ownvspace for a time andcthey gradually and I mean well over time adjustvto one another, I really think itcwill work. I have always spayed or neutered the outspread Kitty if possible first -or kept them inside for a very short period prior to the procedure because that will make a huge difference esp with 2 males! Try towrling each one or using an old tee shirt of yours for each of them so they understand andceecognize the smells as acceptable.It takes time, love and patience but in time they can become friends and if not -in some instances tho in ky personal cases -not that anecdotes answer everything and no 2 cats are alike -some learn to tolerate others if they have had much of the territory themselves. Best of luck. Then you can work on the next Kitty. :-)

Thanks for the encouragement.  Shadow is neutered as well as my other two outdoor strays/ferals too.  My indoor kitty, Jake is also neutered. 

Shadow would have his own room for as long as needed.  I have even considered placing a screen door at the doorway after they get used to each other with the door closed.  Shadow and Jake have known each other for over 2 years now.  They used to have lots of time on either side of the screen door as well as when Shadow would come inside I would put Jake into a pop up pet tent.  It was 6 feet long and about 3 feet high.  Plenty of room for Jake to move around.  He didn't mind being in it at all, but when Shadow would come close, he would full out throw himself and the tent at Shadow.  I also tried a harness with Jake and it was just not a good scene.  Lots of time has gone by since these encounters and Jake has matured and is more accepting of Shadow now. 

It just all seems so overwhelming.  Not only do I have Shadow outside, but Marvin and my occasionally wandering neutered soul, Patches.  Patches has been inside the house too and he is just the sweetest boy.  Yet, he chooses to wander and live life on the edge.  He spends most of his winters here with me and then spring and summer wandering with only occasional visits.  I had hoped once he was neutered the wandering would stop and he would settle down.  But he chooses to continue wandering.  He usually hangs out not too far from me as I know he has been spotted.  I miss him so much, but realize I can't do anything about him right now. 

Hopefully peace will come soon and this awful overwhelming feeling will leave.

 

[bastfriend]

I hear ya Shadowsrescue, I feel overwhelmed too.  It's like there is no good option that I can choose that doesn't require someone: my outdoor feral, me, or my two cats to pay too high a price.   My situation has some similarities with yours in that bringing Hercules indoors is unlikely to work given the personality he's demonstrated and that of my dominant indoor male cat.   Yet...finding him another outdoor home where someone will care about him?  Not so easy.   The only option I've found so far is for him to join a feral colony that's fed - while it's better than starving....tough to tell him sorry partner that's all you get.   Then again maybe that's "quite a lot" given most ferals don't get regularly fed at all and live short tough lives.   Your situation is even tougher because your cats are tamer.   Anyway, no advice really....just wishing you good luck.   I've started my ad campaign for Hercules, hoping a sane nice person responds at some point.