Terrified Of Being Picked Up, And Strangers

[FlawlessImperfection]

I have a cat from the shelter that is very similar. She was seized from a house with 20 cats, and did not know how to relate to people. Once home, I found out she had been physically abused. She loves to cuddle and receive pets, but she hates being picked up or being "handled" in any way. In the first year, I tried a few times and she really didn't like it, so I don't do it. The only time I pick her up is to put her in a carrier to take her to the vet (every 4 months for nail clipping). Sometimes she is so put out that once we're back home, she avoids me for three days.

I feed her small amounts with some frequency. Early in our relationship we established the bed as her sanctuary, and after most every feeding, we go to the bed and she lies down and I rub her chin and pet her, and sometimes brush her - she purrs and loves it. I have two window seats for her and she sometimes lies on the couch. I can approach her and pet her, but again, never pick her up or move her. I never move too quickly near her as she is somewhat skittish and startles ever so easy. She never sits on my lap.

There are only four people regularly in her life: me (I live alone), my girlfriend, the person who comes in to clean every two weeks, and the person who comes to cat sit when I am away. She gets along with all, but is cautious with them. Any other guests I have will cause Lucy to hide, either behind a chair in the living room, or in a closet (she uses the closet enough that I have prepared a place for her). At night, she will sometimes come and curl up next to me in the bed and I will pet her and rub her belly.

I have had other cats that did not like to be handled, so I accept this as "her" normal behavior. She is affectionate and will alway rub my leg as she walks by, she gives me cheek rubs against my cheek when I get home from work (she's on the bed and I kneel on the floor next to her), but it's always on her terms. It's like we have a roommate agreement, and if I pick her up or handle her, it's a violation of our agreement.

I’m so sorry to hear your lovely was abused, it’s such a horrible thing to imagine, and so sad to hear too often. I’m glad she has such a patient and understanding family now! She’s made huge strides this week, just in ONE week- with strangers and being startled. It’s just my son and I and our pup Vadar, and we tried to be quiet and slow our moves etc. now she feels so safe around us, we are back to being loud as usual with laughing, wrestling, Luke and Vadar running around and she loves it! She loves to watch and seems so entertained by their antics, she tries to jump in now a bit too! She likes to sleep under the covers now, and it’s such a cuddler. Being picked up it still her biggest issue, we really haven’t made any progress with that. I will keep at it and realize it’s just going to be her thing and respect it, just as long as I can get her safely to the vets, that’s my only concern. I’m so glad you are making progress too, and that your kittlets hit the jackpot with a great human!

 

[FlawlessImperfection]

I'm glad I found this thread! I have a 4-year-old 'rescue' (she was thrown from a car at about age 3). She's been with me just 4 months, and for the first two weeks, she hid. But when she emerged, she became a 'lap cat,' who loves to be cuddled, and when she's on my lap, my arms are often around her. So I was shocked the first time I moved to pick her
up, and she 'reacted' very dramatically. I tried again a few days later, with the same result.

As with the OP, my concern was if I needed to pick her up in some emergency. I have a mobile vet who comes to the house, and when she came to check her nails, I lured my cat into the bathroom with a few treats (vet's advice), so I didn't have to put her into the carrier. I talked to the vet about her incredible reaction to my trying to pick her up, and we both think it may be due to past abuse. So I decided to take it very slowly--and I plan to use some of the techniques mentioned in this thread. I also know that in an emergency, I could probably use the 'towel method' that I've used in the past when I need to pill my cats.

In any case, I'm glad my girl is not so unusual. She, too, hides if anyone else comes into the house, but my first cat was like that, too.

I can’t believe someone threw your poor baby from a car! But I’m so happy she has such a lovely home now Heres to the both of us helping our fuzzies

 

[Ladysnuggable]

That’s a great point I think, to also pick her up to put her on something instead of just picking her up! Thanks so much, and yes- the carrier is SO important. It’s the biggest thing for me to know I can get her to the vets quickly in case of an emergency. And yes, bribing!! What brats they are, lol!!!

Clicker training is sooooooo easy too! Tons of videos on YouTube! Very fun bonding time! Our adopters are always amazed when I tell them our cats are trained lol