Baby, here’s the memorial you should’ve gotten long ago. Last month marked you being gone for a year. A year since that horrible day I found you laying in your favorite tote bed outside my bedroom window. I had originally been going to clean it, get the blanket clean again. It was heavy… I reached in.. and felt your body. You were so cold.. so stiff already. I pulled you out and cried like a baby. I had to go to the dentist after that…When we took your body to the woods and let your little one say goodbye, I told her you were in a better place with no more pain. She seemed to understand.We had to burn that tote… Don‘T worry, your baby has a new one. One with straw. She seems happy with it. Your last memory was me pushing you away. You laid at that door for hours until I went to bed. I know you did. I’m so sorry, sweetheart. My mom wouldn’t let you come in. She knew you were dying and she didn’t want my other cats to get sick too. You didn’t deserve to die alone. I hope all you remember is the love. I loved you, so much. Your daughter had her first litter in June. You would have been so proud of her. She’s such a great mama, just like you. I miss you. I miss your clinginess. I miss that purr. I don’t even have any pictures, my darling. I wish I did. But, oh well. You were the best kitty.Until we meet again, your faithful servant, Canaan Sammandriel Lumienarien.
that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all. I am glad you exist. 
Cleo just day before yesterday. We have constant thoughts- shouldn’t have taken to vet, should have done this/that but in between those violent storms we know in our hearts that we would have literally sold our house for her!!! When you have that kind of love you invariably did what your mind thought was the best. We absolutely 100% know the trip to vet took her away in 3.5 weeks time instead of potentially 6 months to a year. Eventually she would have passed away with fibrosing pleuritis or pericarditis which is a sequel of chylothorax but would have given precious months to us. Oh well we thought the vet KNEW the best. Guilt is killing us for having taken her there. So please remain assured in your heart that she was on your bed and near you in heart because SHE KNEW YOU LOVED HER!! She has a sense that’s million times deeper and stronger than yours!!!! Infact Cats and dogs are THE BEST PSYCHOLOGISTS R PSYCHIATRISTS YOU CAN FIND!!!! God bless your dear baby!! And glad that you have her new one to continue the love!! Enjoy life with the next one/s!!!
