Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated".

[2Cats4everLoved]

thank you @HelloMissKitty  - It just seems  empty.   While she was sick, she had this very playful attitude and seemed to be enjoying herself, but thinking about it, it could have been a last burst of energy.

Strange feelings have been weighing on my mind mostly thinking if we can make it to February, we'll be good and past the year mark, but it wasn't meant to be.

below is my sweet girl Chestnut, November 14th, 8:28am -

I was away at the doctor and hubby sent this to me with the caption  - 

I miss you mommy...

chessy6.PNG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Dec 8, 2016

I love little white "tooth" looking fur patch she has on her bottom left chin, it always looks like she's frowning.  I'm not sure if this is the last photo.  I think I took a few of her eyes the other day.  I was becoming obsessed with Torties and how I noticed that most of them have a gold triangle above one of their eyes.  Chestnut also has one on the top back of her head.

Anyway, I need a hot cup of coffee.  

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.

xoxoHope

 

[jennyr]

Hope, I am so sorry. What a dreadful year. I don't know what to say, other than that we are all thinking about you and wishing you were not in this situation.

 

[Loving Mickey]

Hope, I was so shocked to read about sweet Chestnut passing. When I first seen the notification where you had posted on Simon's thread, I thought it was about his six month anniversary date. I may be wrong, but didn't he pass on the 7th of June. As I read further down your post,I was totally shocked. I actually started crying, really sobbing. I am so truly sorry that you lost your sweet Chestnut. I wish I had the words to convey how truly sad I feel. I knew your baby was ill, but never thought so serious that she would pass. I am at a loss for words. Just know that you gave both your babies a warm, loving home. Both Simon and Chestnut loved you and knew how much they were loved in return. They are together now and will watch over you. They would both be honored when you are ready to give another kitty a loving home, just like you gave them. Both your babies will remain in your heart forever. Again, I am so sorry. I wish I knew what more I could say. My heart is breaking for your pain, and your husband's as well.
RIP Sweet Beautiful Chestnut!
May you and Simon watch over your loved ones. Please bring peace and comfort to them, as they are mourning your loss.
You were both loved so very much and will be missed!
With Love and Hugs, Gloria

 

[edwardthefirst]

@2Cats4everLoved  Oh my gosh Hope, I really wasn't expecting that, wow. I'm so sorry to hear that Chestnut has passed. I know its not a lot of consolation although having been through several bereavements recently, this stuff does make a difference - so I'm glad you were able to be right there with her when she let go. Together at the end. Perhaps she even planned it that way. You've been a great cat mummy Hope - and you'll be one again in due course. Lots of love, Kate

 

[foxxycat]

Hope I am saddened to read this. How heartbreaking. And scary. You were a good mommy to her and she will always be thankful for you. Damn my eyes are leaking. Allergies I guess. Sniff. Sending you many warm hugs. So very sorry for your loss. May  sweet Chestnut run free at the Bridge

 

[artiemom]

OMG @2Cats4everLoved    I never expected this... 

I was looking at my threads and saw this update... I honestly do not know what to say, but (((((((((HUGS)))))))

I am in shock, as you must be.. Chestnut was loved her entire life by you and your husband. You are such an awesome person..  I am at a loss for words. I saw this last night, but thought I would be able to offer you some words of condolence, however I cannot..

Please know that you are though of with warmth, and affection by everyone in this community.. We are all mourning your loss......Your love for Chestnut while caring for Simon was overwhelming...

Now Chestnut and Simon are annoying each other up at the Rainbow Bridge...they will be chasing butterflies and each other, while watching over you and your husband...

all I can do is (((((((HUG))))))) you..

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Hope, I was so shocked to read about sweet Chestnut passing. When I first seen the notification where you had posted on Simon's thread, I thought it was about his six month anniversary date. I may be wrong, but didn't he pass on the 7th of June. As I read further down your post,I was totally shocked. I actually started crying, really sobbing. I am so truly sorry that you lost your sweet Chestnut. I wish I had the words to convey how truly sad I feel. I knew your baby was ill, but never thought so serious that she would pass. I am at a loss for words. Just know that you gave both your babies a warm, loving home. Both Simon and Chestnut loved you and knew how much they were loved in return. They are together now and will watch over you. They would both be honored when you are ready to give another kitty a loving home, just like you gave them. Both your babies will remain in your heart forever. Again, I am so sorry. I wish I knew what more I could say. My heart is breaking for your pain, and your husband's as well.
RIP Sweet Beautiful Chestnut!
May you and Simon watch over your loved ones. Please bring peace and comfort to them, as they are mourning your loss.
You were both loved so very much and will be missed!
With Love and Hugs, Gloria

Thank you Gloria, This has been a shocking 24 hours, not what I expected when I woke up yesterday.  I knew she was sick and, as I said, if we made it past January, her one year mark, I think we could have made enough changes to keep her around for a few more years, but that wasn't in the cards.

The old vet never really checked her heart and I personally think that she had congestive heart failure, she sounded just like my dad, very congested her ears and eyes always needed cleaning and had rusty goop coming out, and lately it's been worst, but the weather was warmish, so I thought perhaps the windows open may have contributed, but this past week she was acting a little different now that I think back.

Even though she had been pooping normally and urine has been good, her movements and actions were, extra loving and wanting to be close.  She always was affectionate but there was an extra sweetness to her that was different.  I thought it was because she was finally accepting that Simon won't come flying out to crash her playtime.  Chestnut started playing on her own, and with the mouse on a string.  She was very vocal again, which she hadn't been as much since Simon left us, but as of late, she had been chirpy and engaged with my every move.

Man I miss her.  Getting to sleep without her purring was torture last night.  And my sweet hubby, man, I don't think it hit him yet fully, but as I said, she was his pillow and drool catcher, LOL.

I was going to give Chestnut her own Bridge page but she and Simon, even though they didn't get along, were still bookends that go together, so I thought I'd add her to his page being that they were lumped together since the start of me signing up on TCS.

I was just getting used to NOT saying Simon on a daily basis, and now the thought of NOT saying Chess, Chestnut, my little mama, Sweet Princess etc, is breaking my heart.

We did have some really sweet quality time these past few weeks that I'm grateful for, I suppose that was her gift to me.

Thanks again Gloria for your support and kindness.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

below, my sweet girl doing what she loved best...  licking her paws after a hearty meal.

eat 3.PNG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• May 30, 2016

below - again, trying to capture her beautiful aqua eyes.

IMG_4181.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Apr 29, 2016

The picture below was from when she first came to live with us.  She was content right from the start.

Chestnut had two looks/expressions - one was serious/wise and the other was wide eyed innocent/loving eyes.

below is her Wise Owl look. lol

chessy.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Feb 2, 2016
• 2

Thanks again for your support.  xoxo  Hope.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Thank you @Margd  - I think Chestnut was beautiful.  She certainly had the biggest heart, even my sweet boy Simon could be snippy and snobbish on occasion but Chestnut went with the flow and never raised a paw or was mean in anyway.  The only thing she didn't care for was getting her nails clipped, but even that we got down to a science and she didn't mind this past Saturday when she was being groomed.

Man I miss her.  I miss playing hard with my boy, and I really miss the snuggles and nose bumps that Chess used to give.

We took her to the vet this morning and she will be back with me on December 19th.

My head is full of so many thoughts, backtracking on what I could have done, was she happy?  etc...

I need a stiff cocktail right about now. LOL - not kidding...

All will be well and hopefully soon one or two kitties will have a warm home for the winter.  fingers crossed.

Thanks TCS for letting me vent, cry and express myself.

xoxo Hope

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

Oh my gosh, I'm so shocked, as I guess we all are, by this awful news.  And so very sorry for your loss

.  Words simply cannot express  what I am feeling right now.  

Please take care of yourself and know we are here, as we were when you lost dear 

Simon 

Run free at the Bridge, gorgeous

Chestnut

 

[red top rescue]

Hope, I am so sorry to hear that Chestnut crossed the bridge to be with Simon, but it sounds like you somehow sensed that was going to happen.  At least she went in your arms, and not while you were away, so that is a blessing.  I wish we lived closer to each other, because I have two cats that would be just purrfect for you when you are ready and if you are like me, living with NO cats just isn't an option.  I'm sure the Cat Goddess will bring you some needy cats one way or the other.  Right now you need time to mourn Chestnut.  You are such a good cat mom, I wish you could take Big Brother and Jewel.  Sweeter cats were never born, and they love each other also.  Again, I'm so very sorry that you have gone through another loss, but it was just her time, and she needed to go pester Simon.

 

[tamu708]

Oh my God.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  Very heartbreaking.  It is certainly a blessing that her last moments were with you, with the love and comfort she had known for so long.  

RIP sweet Chestnut.  She was a very precious girl.  

 

[Loving Mickey]

2Cats4everLoved
Hi Hope, Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I know your home must feel so empty without your kitties. I know when I lost my beloved Mickey, my home and heart felt so empty. Mickey was an only cat (he wanted it that way). I just hope you are doing okay, and know that we are all here for you. We will help you through your loss, if and when you need us.
BTW, are you from New York?
Just wondering, as I am too.

 

[verna davies]

Hope. I've just read the news of Chestnut. Oh I am shocked and so sorry for you and your husband. I know how you must be feeling as I lost my two oldies last year within six months of each other. I didn't realise Chestnut was so ill, I have been expecting you to write that she is back to her old self and annoying you. Theres nothing anyone can say to make it better but there are lots of people who are thinking of you both and wishing they could help. I would like to think that Chestnut has found Simon and are plotting mischief.

There is a kitty out there who will need your help and when that kitty feels the time is right, it will find you.

I will be thinking of you and your husband. Take care.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

 
Hope, I am so sorry to hear that Chestnut crossed the bridge to be with Simon, but it sounds like you somehow sensed that was going to happen.  At least she went in your arms, and not while you were away, so that is a blessing.  I wish we lived closer to each other, because I have two cats that would be just purrfect for you when you are ready and if you are like me, living with NO cats just isn't an option.  I'm sure the Cat Goddess will bring you some needy cats one way or the other.  Right now you need time to mourn Chestnut.  You are such a good cat mom, I wish you could take Big Brother and Jewel.  Sweeter cats were never born, and they love each other also.  Again, I'm so very sorry that you have gone through another loss, but it was just her time, and she needed to go pester Simon.

So this is the start of a new week without either baby.

Such a strange feeling.  I went crazy cleaning this weekend.  Most toys I wanted to keep from Simon had already been packed away and the day before she passed, I had laundered Chestnuts pink cat blanket.  She wasn't much of a toy cat, so I kept her blankets and brush.  I took all the whiskers I collected from her over the years and put them safe away in the file along with the vets papers and my journals for both Simon and Chess.

In a strange way, I feel like they educated me for the future fluff ball who will enter my life.  Just the information that you all supplied me with during my 11 months on TCS has made me see things so differently in how to care for a furry feline.

I feel in a way God or a higher power helped me make "that" decision for me.  While Chestnut had been ill with the crystals, the old vet never addressed "why" she was overweight.  She really didn't overeat and honestly she never begged for food.  Only when Simon came around for ice cream or cereal milk, Chess expressed interest but all I would do is stick a spoon under cold water and she'd lick that thinking there was a treat on there. LOL  she'd take a lick and be done with it.  But, the old vet never addressed her heart issue or her chronic congestion issue, which killed her in the end, I think. 

Chess was 11 days from seeing the new vet.  I really think we would have been faced with big bills and uncertainty or having to choose her future. Then again, it could have been something simple as prescribing her a water pill.  

All I can say is - it's a strange time.  I really miss my sweet girl.  Chestnut was really a gift for me after Simon died and she showed me nothing but love, and insisted on being by my side almost 24/7.  

And I did get to sing her "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"  a million times since we've had her, but I will admit, when I was Christmas shopping the other day, the song came on in the store and I teared up.  That was the great thing about her, it was Christmas everyday...  And while I didn't name her, I loved that name so much.

Perhaps Chestnut felt I was strong enough to be on my own now, and even though I loved her just the same and would do anything for her, she also sensed that there was a sad part of me knowing that I couldn't get another cat because of her special diet.

I suppose that is yet another mystery in my life that won't get solved.

My neighbor volunteers at Northshore Animal Shelter, so I'll let her know when she catches the cats in the neighborhood, we can help out and keep them here until they're ready to go, so her's don't have to be disturbed.  It will keep me involved and make me feel good.

I wish I could take Big Brother and Jewel, I would love a sibling act, LOL.

I hope all is going well with you @Red Top Rescue  - Thanks again for all the support and advice.  I truly appreciate it.

.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

@2Cats4everLoved
Hi Hope, Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing. I know your home must feel so empty without your kitties. I know when I lost my beloved Mickey, my home and heart felt so empty. Mickey was an only cat (he wanted it that way). I just hope you are doing okay, and know that we are all here for you. We will help you through your loss, if and when you need us.
BTW, are you from New York?
Just wondering, as I am too.

@Loving Mickey  - Thanks, I've had those moments here and there.  There are some chores I've neglected this past year since the cats have fell ill and I promised myself I'll look into getting another kitty when I finish up all that needs to be done.

I wrote in Simon's "Tumor" thread, that I had a stack of boxes in my kitchen from people in my life who have passed, my sister, dad, mother, uncle, aunt and now Simon and Chestnut.  Well, I finally put the last dent in going through all the stuff and now I have and I'm down to the last few boxes.  I have to say, it feels good to lighten the load.  I'm not sure why I kept all this crap, perhaps I thought it would keep those close, but what it's done is weigh me down.  I'm not a hoarder, but I suppose I can be "over" sentimental on occasion. LOL  Anywho, I feel lighter now.   

It's those moments during the calm is when I look at the usual spots for Simon and Chestnut.  My eyes are drawn to the windows or space on floor etc, where the wee ones hung out, and always for a split moment I expect to see them even though I know very clearly that they will never be sitting there again.  Then I get a pang in my tummy and my heart tugs and reality sets in.

I have to say, since Simon's death, Chestnut has been my mushy mush and we really created a strong bond, but there was always something that made me feel she wasn't permanent, but I embraced her and loved having a daughter, LOL.  She really was the sweetest and still to this day, I can't imagine why her owner surrendered her after 5 years, all I know is I walked into Petco at the perfect moment and she spoke to me.

I have to check out your profile and see pictures of your sweet Mickey.  It's true, it's the empty feeling I wish I could get over, I guess with time, it will lessen.

I am from NY, grew up on LI but have been in the City for 25 years.   It's a great time to be in NYC and last year I didn't take advantage of it, between me being sick as well as Chestnut and then later on Simon, so this year I have been enjoying and getting out, so that's always fun.

Thank you again for your kind words, I truly appreciate it all.  Warmest regards, Hope and my 2 little angels Simon & Chestnut

 

[Loving Mickey]

2Cats4everLoved

Hi Hope,
Just thought I would check in and see how you are doing. I think of you often, and your two sweet little angels. I hope that the pain is lessening and you are doing well. I know you will always feel the pain of their loss (that will remain always).
Just hoping you are healing a little each day. Just know that I am thinking of you and am always here.

BTW, I am also from New York.
Grew up in Brooklyn.
Moved to Staten Island about 15 years ago, when my husband decided to buy a house.
It is nice to know I have a TCS friend close by.
With Much Love As Always, Gloria

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Thank you for you kind words Gloria.

My heart still aches for my sweet babies.  I kept their urns under the Christmas tree considering Simon was always wanting to sit underneath it, and I had these 99 cent silver and gold angels as decorations along with lights.  Kept it simple.  So that was sad.  I actually just came across pictures of them I was going to post here, not for anything else but archive them for easy viewing when I need a dose of my babies.

Surprisingly, I'm going pretty well.  After them being sick all year, there is a certain freedom I haven't felt since Dec '15, but this month is the anniversary of Chestnut first getting sick and me finding this site, so in truth my heart is feeling heavier.

I find helping the other members here (the best to my knowledge) helps me in this process of healing.

So we're neighbors? It is nice to know there are members close.  My husband says I'm a Princess living in Queens. haha

I think you just motivated me to post my other pictures today. xoxo

Thanks again for thinking of me, it means a lot.

Best to you,  warmest regards - Love Hope

PS, I'm sorry for not knowing, but after Mickey passed did you get another?

 

[Loving Mickey]

Hi Neighbor and TCS Friend Hope,

Yes, I think it is so nice that some members here are also close by. It warms my heart.

Yes, of course you are still missing your babies (you always will). You will also have good days and bad. Their loss is also still new and raw. I still cry over my Mickey, and it has been over two years. I know I will never truly get over his loss (he was too special).
Mickey also helped me through alot, like the loss of my Mom. I knew Mickey needed me, and that helped me to survive.

Yes, holidays, special days, anniversaries, etc.can make one feel the loss even more. I truly know how hard it is on our heart, but the love they gave us while with us makes all the pain worthwhile.

Yes, I did adopt another kitty after Mickey's passing. At first I wasn't planning to and my husband didn't want to. He loves animals and also loved Mickey. He said he felt Mickey's loss as well, but it tore at his heart to see me so devastated. I was a mess, completely totally lost without my precious Mickey. I knew then I had to open my heart and love another kitty. I adopted Shadow and a few months later Mittens. While Mickey LOVED being an only kitty, I knew Shadow wanted a friend. Along came Mittens. They are best friends and "brothers" in every way.

I know what you mean about trying to help others on this site. I also try to help (the best I can). Even if all I can offer is a kind word or some comfort, I do hope it helps them a little. I cry along with each post I read in "Crossing The Bridge". My heart goes out to each member that must post there, as I know all too well the pain they are feeling.

You will adopt again when the time is right for you. The perfect kitty will come along when it is the right time. You will just know. Always follow your heart. Believe me, it won't let you down.

You will always love and miss your precious Angels, Simon and Chestnut.
Your heart is big enough, though, to love another kitty or two.
The new kitty will never replace your Angels. They will always have their own special place in your heart.
The new kitty can help your heart to heal, though.
I know my two have helped me so much.
I just hope my Mickey would understand and approve.

I wish only the best for you, Hope.
Hoping you are having more good days than bad.

Love and Hugs, Gloria

 

[Loving Mickey]

Thought you may like to see a picture of my two kitties.

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• Loving Mickey
• Jan 18, 2017

Orange kitty is Mittens.
Grayish kitty is Shadow.

Last, my beloved Mickey.

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• Loving Mickey
• Jan 18, 2017

Mickey is also my avatar photo.

BTW, Please don't think I am trying to hijack your thread. I would NEVER do that!