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- #41
It was pretty much a normal Friday night
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Sick of everything
- Thread starter scottf
- Start Date
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #42
Its almost as if he has turned feral on me
I know what you are going through is hard. I hope for your sake and Mr Jinx you fiqure it out.
I have noticed that with my cat Monkey whenever I am stressed out or DH is stressed outshe has a tendency to attack us. We have put 3 years into this cat already. When we got her she was a 2 year old semiferal, abused and forgotten. She came into our home looking for help, she was cold, wet and injured. We took her to the Humane Society because we knew we could not handle her nor care for her. We ended up falling in love with her and had to go back and adopt her. Then the real fun started. It turned out, we learned form other neighbors that the man who owned her before us use to beat her and treat her very bad. His wife on the other hand loved her. For the first year she was out to kill my DH. I don't mean just hissing and scratching, I mean she would attack him in his sleep, scratch him to the point he should have had stiches, bite him and not let go. For a while there DH felt the same way you do now. With me she was always a sweetheart.
Through time and patience he was able to teach her to love him. She still will have issues with her past, that will never change. We did learn though that it takes time. Even though you have owned Mr Jinx for years he assosiates you with the pain of his UTI and the vet visits. You basicly need to start over with him. For DH it was just dealing wtih the attacks. Every time she would start in on him he would just sit and tell her she was loved and safe, no matter what. He never once would raise his voice at her or act like he hated her. He would tell me in private when we were not around her that he did not think he could do it any more. When we would get home though he would just look at her and knew that someday she would love him. It was hard, believe me, it was so hard but it was worth it.
It was so worth it that Dh helped me rescue a second cat, a full on feral back in October. He was a bit hesatant at first but he knew in his heart he could do it again. Luckily the new baby Roxy is a total sweetheart and does not have a mean bone in her body.
I think the fact that you came on here and addmitted how you feel shows that you still love Mr Jinx, you are just in a rough spot right now. I know you still care for him and love him you just don't know what to do. I know it seems awfull, all you want is to cuddle your baby and you can't. Right now you both need to just take a breath and think. You have a long road ahead of you, the big question is do you want to take it? If what you say is true about all your friends than you can not give up on Mr Jinx. Through out all of this he will teach you things that no human will ever be able to. You will be better for it.
PM me if you ever need too. I will fill DH in on your situation and if you need to talk to aguy who has felt the way you do, I will get him in touch with you.
I have noticed that with my cat Monkey whenever I am stressed out or DH is stressed outshe has a tendency to attack us. We have put 3 years into this cat already. When we got her she was a 2 year old semiferal, abused and forgotten. She came into our home looking for help, she was cold, wet and injured. We took her to the Humane Society because we knew we could not handle her nor care for her. We ended up falling in love with her and had to go back and adopt her. Then the real fun started. It turned out, we learned form other neighbors that the man who owned her before us use to beat her and treat her very bad. His wife on the other hand loved her. For the first year she was out to kill my DH. I don't mean just hissing and scratching, I mean she would attack him in his sleep, scratch him to the point he should have had stiches, bite him and not let go. For a while there DH felt the same way you do now. With me she was always a sweetheart.
Through time and patience he was able to teach her to love him. She still will have issues with her past, that will never change. We did learn though that it takes time. Even though you have owned Mr Jinx for years he assosiates you with the pain of his UTI and the vet visits. You basicly need to start over with him. For DH it was just dealing wtih the attacks. Every time she would start in on him he would just sit and tell her she was loved and safe, no matter what. He never once would raise his voice at her or act like he hated her. He would tell me in private when we were not around her that he did not think he could do it any more. When we would get home though he would just look at her and knew that someday she would love him. It was hard, believe me, it was so hard but it was worth it.
It was so worth it that Dh helped me rescue a second cat, a full on feral back in October. He was a bit hesatant at first but he knew in his heart he could do it again. Luckily the new baby Roxy is a total sweetheart and does not have a mean bone in her body.
I think the fact that you came on here and addmitted how you feel shows that you still love Mr Jinx, you are just in a rough spot right now. I know you still care for him and love him you just don't know what to do. I know it seems awfull, all you want is to cuddle your baby and you can't. Right now you both need to just take a breath and think. You have a long road ahead of you, the big question is do you want to take it? If what you say is true about all your friends than you can not give up on Mr Jinx. Through out all of this he will teach you things that no human will ever be able to. You will be better for it.
PM me if you ever need too. I will fill DH in on your situation and if you need to talk to aguy who has felt the way you do, I will get him in touch with you.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #44
Well when I TRIED to pet him, he just attacked me visciously. I just cannot figure it out, I have not slept since 8 am yesterday
Please take him to the SPCA. Poor Mr Jinx!
I'm sorry this may be harsh but pet cats can't care for themselves - you have to be his guardian and make the right choices for him.
I'm going to stop now. I'm
and I want to give Mr Jinx a
for Valentines day and one for you too
I'm sorry this may be harsh but pet cats can't care for themselves - you have to be his guardian and make the right choices for him.
I'm going to stop now. I'm
First of all, it sounds like you are going through a rough time in your life right now. For that I'm sorry.
But you need to remember, it was you that took Mr. Jinx in, so it is you who is responsible for him. If you feel you can't handle him, then you are responsible to take him somewhere like the human society where he can be cared for.
Has he seen the vet since he was diagnosed with UTI? He may not be clear of it or have a secondary infection of some sort.
I think you may be exaggerating in some of your posts in order to draw sympathy towards yourself, and I just want you to know that you don't have to do that. We are a caring bunch here, about anything.... if you are having a hard time with life right now, alot of us understand that. I think you'd be surprised at how many people here suffer from clinical depression.
Most of us will happily lend you a ear, and as much support as we can. But the things you're saying about your cat, can and probally have made some people angry. I can understand how frustrating it can be to have Mr. Jinx turn on you like this, but something is wrong. Cats don't just hate people (unless they are are wild)... something has changed, his health or he's picking up on your hostility and he's scared.
We will support you, but please do the right thing with Mr.Jinx.
But you need to remember, it was you that took Mr. Jinx in, so it is you who is responsible for him. If you feel you can't handle him, then you are responsible to take him somewhere like the human society where he can be cared for.
Has he seen the vet since he was diagnosed with UTI? He may not be clear of it or have a secondary infection of some sort.
I think you may be exaggerating in some of your posts in order to draw sympathy towards yourself, and I just want you to know that you don't have to do that. We are a caring bunch here, about anything.... if you are having a hard time with life right now, alot of us understand that. I think you'd be surprised at how many people here suffer from clinical depression.
Most of us will happily lend you a ear, and as much support as we can. But the things you're saying about your cat, can and probally have made some people angry. I can understand how frustrating it can be to have Mr. Jinx turn on you like this, but something is wrong. Cats don't just hate people (unless they are are wild)... something has changed, his health or he's picking up on your hostility and he's scared.
We will support you, but please do the right thing with Mr.Jinx.
I second everything people are saying here about getting some help for YOURSELF! I suffer from clinical depression and when my condition is not under control I do feel hopeless, angry and alone, even when I am not.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - go get evaluated. It is not shameful. Depression is a disease just like any other. The cat may be sensing the deeping downward spiral in you and is reacting because he doesn't "recognize" you as YOU! And it may be scaring him. Cats also do not like change; it upsets them - so if you have changes emotionally, biochemically or physically and he senses that - he is reacting to it.
On the other hand - there may still be something wrong with him physically and as others have said - like a baby - he cannot tell you with words.
Please do not toss him out of the house - that is terribly cruel and I don't think you're a cruel person.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - go get evaluated. It is not shameful. Depression is a disease just like any other. The cat may be sensing the deeping downward spiral in you and is reacting because he doesn't "recognize" you as YOU! And it may be scaring him. Cats also do not like change; it upsets them - so if you have changes emotionally, biochemically or physically and he senses that - he is reacting to it.
On the other hand - there may still be something wrong with him physically and as others have said - like a baby - he cannot tell you with words.
Please do not toss him out of the house - that is terribly cruel and I don't think you're a cruel person.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #48
Well, I just got back from the vets office, I have not slept for 12 now. He said he was fine but it is stress from having to take medication and the constant trips to the vets office. When I was trying to get into his box, he wore his claws down pretty good( they were actually bleeding). When I got him home, he ran to my cabinets in my bathroom. He came out to get his food and for about 2 minutes he froze in his tracks and gave me this really creepy, I want you dead look. It was like something out of a John Woo movie, you know, where the good guy and bad guy hold their guns at each others heads while standing eye to eye. He finally realized I was not going to touch him, he continued on, and I shut the door behind him. It is heart breaking to see him this way and I really feel bad about what I said about him.
I know that at night, everything always looks worse to me. If anything at all is bothering me, it seems to become 10 times worse at night. Researchers say that even pain is magnified at night, because we concentrate on it. And I know when I haven't had enough sleep, I get depressed easily. Not clinically, but just "down." I have to be careful not to think about the cats at the shelter at night, when I'm driving and I'm tired.
You mentioned that you had gone out just before Mr. Jinx scratched you. It's not impossible you unknowingly stepped somewhere or put your hand somewhere or even rubbed against somewhere that you picked up the scent of another cat.
My wife sleeps with Sterling every night. He's her "lover boy." She can't go to sleep until he at least comes in and cuddles with her a few minutes. But a couple of months ago, she put her hand on him unexpectedly and he bit her. A couple of days later, she had to go to the emergency room for an infection. He still is her lover boy, still sleeps with her, and she still loves him. It was accidental on both their parts; he was startled, and she just happened to move her hand in a way that made it worse.
If Mr. Jinx has been having health issues, he may be upset, afraid that you are going to force him to take some medicine or go to the vet. Our RB Truman got so disgusted at taking medicine that even when we gave him a treat, he would both purr and growl while he ate it, since that was the trick we'd used to get him to take the medicine for quite a while.
Cats react instinctively to many stimuli, and it's up to us to try to interpret them. We often don't succeed.
What some others have alluded to is that many human illnesses have a distinctive smell, which we often can't detect. Medical researchers are, in fact, working on a "sniffer" that can detect some of those smells. Apparently, skin cancers, infections, and other diseases are detectable by trained dogs and probably to all animals to a lesser degree. The people here were concerned that Mr. Jinx might be detecting a change in your smell. Feral colonies of cats will often suddenly drive out a member for no reason discernible to us, but something they smell as a "weakness" that is a danger to the group. That can be the basis of a change in a pet's behavior toward its owner, too.
You mentioned that you had gone out just before Mr. Jinx scratched you. It's not impossible you unknowingly stepped somewhere or put your hand somewhere or even rubbed against somewhere that you picked up the scent of another cat.
My wife sleeps with Sterling every night. He's her "lover boy." She can't go to sleep until he at least comes in and cuddles with her a few minutes. But a couple of months ago, she put her hand on him unexpectedly and he bit her. A couple of days later, she had to go to the emergency room for an infection. He still is her lover boy, still sleeps with her, and she still loves him. It was accidental on both their parts; he was startled, and she just happened to move her hand in a way that made it worse.
If Mr. Jinx has been having health issues, he may be upset, afraid that you are going to force him to take some medicine or go to the vet. Our RB Truman got so disgusted at taking medicine that even when we gave him a treat, he would both purr and growl while he ate it, since that was the trick we'd used to get him to take the medicine for quite a while.
Cats react instinctively to many stimuli, and it's up to us to try to interpret them. We often don't succeed.
What some others have alluded to is that many human illnesses have a distinctive smell, which we often can't detect. Medical researchers are, in fact, working on a "sniffer" that can detect some of those smells. Apparently, skin cancers, infections, and other diseases are detectable by trained dogs and probably to all animals to a lesser degree. The people here were concerned that Mr. Jinx might be detecting a change in your smell. Feral colonies of cats will often suddenly drive out a member for no reason discernible to us, but something they smell as a "weakness" that is a danger to the group. That can be the basis of a change in a pet's behavior toward its owner, too.
Awwww. I hope he feels better soon Poor Jinx.
Please, do get some rest, relax.... and try to have a good day.
If you ever need to chat, or vent, feel free to PM or vent on the board. We may not say things you like to hear, but we are all willing to support and try to help you. I'm so glad that you regret saying what you did... I think you scared some of us, worried us. But I'm glad you've realised that you were angry and needed to vent your frustrations.
Since he's all stressed out from the vet visits and his infection, maybe you should stay away from him for awhile. Don't try to pet him, don't go near him. Act like he's not even there. Obviously still feed him and take care of his litter box...but besides that, just pretend he's not there. Then after awhile, he'll realize that you aren't going at him to try to get him in the cat carrier to take him to that evil place where they poke him with sharp things. Then he'll start to relax.
Also, you need to take some time and relax your body and mind. Do you like to read? I've had my fair share of problems with stress and depression and I've found books by Albert Ellis & Robert Harper and The HeartMath Solution books to be very helpful. If you can get your mind/thoughts under control and think more positively and hopeful then your body will relax and you'll feel better and you'll be able to sleep.
Take care
Also, you need to take some time and relax your body and mind. Do you like to read? I've had my fair share of problems with stress and depression and I've found books by Albert Ellis & Robert Harper and The HeartMath Solution books to be very helpful. If you can get your mind/thoughts under control and think more positively and hopeful then your body will relax and you'll feel better and you'll be able to sleep.
Take care
Are you taking any drugs or medications that may cause you to feel depression? That may explain some of the problem.
Taking meds and going to the vets definitely stresses cats out, and it's not easy to deal with sometimes. I'm betting to Mr Jinx, you are the "bad guy" right now. That's common, and IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT! You were taking care of him, but he doesn't understand that and now that he's healthy it's just going to take time for him to stop associating you with medicine and vet visits.
We have to give meds to our one cat every night (you would think after 4 years she would get used to it
Scott did you ever get him neutered?
Im glad you decided to keep him.
No offense but you really do sound like you need medication. I only read the 1st couple things you said and it just doesnt sound right to me. How could you even say some of these things and be ready to throw him away so easily? To get that mad at a cat???? Maybe you shouldnt even have cats at all IMO.
My oldest cat Sabastian that i had for 14 yrs dumped me about 2 years ago when i moved in with BF. I get no love from him and he absolutely loves and adores BF now. If i lay down next to him and start petting him he starts slapping his tail and gets up and walks away. Yet hes always cuddling with BF.
I dont take it personal, i was a lil jealous but i still love him more than anything and i get a kick over it. I just figure that hes finally so happy to have a "daddy"
Sorry for ranting on you but thats just how i feel.
No offense but you really do sound like you need medication. I only read the 1st couple things you said and it just doesnt sound right to me. How could you even say some of these things and be ready to throw him away so easily? To get that mad at a cat???? Maybe you shouldnt even have cats at all IMO.
My oldest cat Sabastian that i had for 14 yrs dumped me about 2 years ago when i moved in with BF. I get no love from him and he absolutely loves and adores BF now. If i lay down next to him and start petting him he starts slapping his tail and gets up and walks away. Yet hes always cuddling with BF.
I dont take it personal, i was a lil jealous but i still love him more than anything and i get a kick over it. I just figure that hes finally so happy to have a "daddy"
Sorry for ranting on you but thats just how i feel.
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You say he's been cleared of all illnesses, how long ago did you take him to the vet? Maybe you need to go back and be more thorough, tell the vet anything that's been happening and they may be able to figure it out. There has got to be a reason behind his change of personality. We've had Charlie 10 years, and while after vet trips he can change a little, it's only for the day or so (mistrust of humans). There are days when no one is home, or it's too hot for him to be active, or he might be missing Jazzys company, but he's been pretty much consistant. I really do think before 'throwing' him out, you get him checked again. Has anything in your behaviour changed towards him before he got aggro?
As cat owners some of us can understand your frustrations, sometimes it can be hard when there are things out of our control, but what you've been saying is very serious and we don't want you, or your cat to end up in severe trouble.
Please, go back to the vet again if it's been a while, there has got to be a logical reason.
Edit: All that typing and i just saw your most recent post. Is there any way your vet can come to your house? Are there other approaches to how he gets his medicine? (i don't know what's wrong with him). This may leave him dopey, but i think your vet may have to prescribe some anti-anxiety meds. So stressed that his claws are bleeding, sounds extremely harmful. Ask your vet if these meds would interfere with what he's on atm. When Jazzy died, Charlie started licking himself raw, he had bald patches all over him. Once we figured out it was because he felt like he lost his protector, the vet gave us Clomicalm. At first it made him dopey, but we adjusted the amount. After a month or so the fur grew back, he wasn't licking and we took him off it.
I'm so sorry for what your kitty is going through. If you could imagine what it would be like to be in his 'shoes' maybe it would be easier.
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There you go, it's nothing personal! Something has to be causing Mr. Jinx to behave differently. He didn't suddenly have a change of heart about you. (Especially after being with you for five years!)
I still think you ought to look into counseling. Depression can make people feel incredibly hopeless. Some people get so depressed that they're unable to care for themselves, much less a pet.
I apologize if I was harsh before, but you really "ruffled my feathers" so to speak. It's not a good sign that you can become so frustrated with your cat. He depends on you for his care. On the other hand, it's good that you didn't actually do anything mean to the poor cat!
Talking to a counselor will probably be a lot more helpful than posting on the forum.
What about some kind of medication for the cat like prozac? Some on here don't agree with it, but some have cats who take it because of similar problems. It would be worth asking your vet about. No offense, but perhaps you need something similar. Sometimes life gets to be just too much and its nothing to be ashamed of to ask for help.
To me, it sounds like you may be suffering some kind of depression.. you mentioned something about not having slept since yesterday morning too.. so perhaps also bi-polar disorder... or bi-polar tendancies?
Ive been thru it.. when I was going thru episodes, I was just so upset about something.. I didnt know what I was upset about.. and since no one seemed to understand, I just wanted them to be upset too.. I would irrationally say or do things that I knew would cause upset. For example, you posted on here that you were going to dump the cat outside or at the shelter.. you knew that would upset others on here. Now that you've calmed down abit you feel ashamed of what you said. I understand.. I've been there!
I was eventually diagnosed with anxieties, depression and bi-polar tendancies (I am not actually bi-polar tho).
Ive been thru it.. when I was going thru episodes, I was just so upset about something.. I didnt know what I was upset about.. and since no one seemed to understand, I just wanted them to be upset too.. I would irrationally say or do things that I knew would cause upset. For example, you posted on here that you were going to dump the cat outside or at the shelter.. you knew that would upset others on here. Now that you've calmed down abit you feel ashamed of what you said. I understand.. I've been there!
I was eventually diagnosed with anxieties, depression and bi-polar tendancies (I am not actually bi-polar tho).
I just wanted to add that it's not true. EVERYBODY doesn't hate you - we're very welcoming here and always willing to talk.
