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Saying Goodbye To Xena.
- Thread starter frankie the cat
- Start Date
Made me cry too! Beautiful!
I am so sorry for your loss. I know all too well what you are going thru. May will mark a year since I had to have my Oliver put down. It is so hard to contemplate. But, he was suffering. He still had those bright eyes right to the end and he would still come to me in the mornings for combing. He was such a good boy. I will see him again when my time comes. He will be waiting for his daddy. They know how much we love them.
Frankie the cat,
We both have a Xena now making heaven an even more beautiful place. I can't help myself but to share the things I have done and am doing to cope.
The first thing we did was to bury her here at home. My wife and I had a private service for her. She is buried next to Boney Girl. I buried some of their favorite things with them such as toys, blanket, collars and treats. They both have blue stone markers. I cannot leave or come home without going by them. It is nice to be able to go to the last place I saw her. It is nice to maintain the gravesite. I planted spring bulbs and perennials around them. I cut flowers from my gardens, put them in vases and place on site. I visit often and talk to them. Boney has been gone over 4 years and Xena over 2, and I'm still going almost daily. Early on it was multiple times per day.
I talk to folks who understand. That is why we both are at TCS. I ignore those who don't understand.
I have read and reread all the pet loss poetry and writings I could find. They make me cry, but also help me sort feelings and give me the knowledge that I'm not the only one.
I too, fear forgetting memories. So I write. I note everything I can remember. These writings can be very private notes or can be something to share with select people.
I gathered all the pictures and videos I have in one file and backed up multiple ways. Laptop, flash drive, a photo website, some on my phone and some on the catsite and other social media. This ensures that I will always have at least some of them no matter what may happen. I have a spot on the wall where I have my favorite pictures of them.
I lost my dad last year. He had a cat named Chester that my mother has since returned to the original owners. That's a beautiful story for another time. Anyway, the neighbor made a silhouette painting of dad and Chester for each of my family members and this is a wonderful remembrance on our wall of both dad and Chester.
I have their rabies vaccine tags on a necklace I can wear. Wish I had more keepsakes. I suppose I'll never part with my recliner with the shredded foot rest, or will I ever repair some places they scratched where they shouldn't have.
I look at places in the house and yard where they would do things. This sometimes triggers vivid memories.
I posted on the cat page on this site. Links in my signature. This is a great feature and place for expression.
The most surprising thing (at least to myself) I've done was to get memorial tattoos, or rather cattoos. I got color portraits on my chest. There are many possibilities ranging from simple to complex. Could be just a paw print, or a symbol, or something kitty enjoyed or wore, something abstract, her name, a portrait, a scene or ... Placement can be somewhere private or somewhere quite visable. For me it has reinforced that we are together forever. It is a daily reminder of who is important to me. It has strangely brought me a lot of comfort.
As a dumb man, I try to look to science, logic and philosophy to keep my feelings suppressed. I know suppression is not good. I've realized that death is what gives meaning to life and it is a very natural cycle. I've also looked to my faith knowing our animals don't have the free will of man and thus have a free pass to heaven. The lion lays with the lamb that lies with Xena. ( I'm bad with my lies and lays grammar)
I was without a cat for 9 months after Xena left. We went to our local shelter for a $10 adoption event and left with a 3 year old tortie. I was amazed how how much better this made me feel and discovered that I had been needlessly punishing myself. Ziva has done many things that have sparked happy memories of Xena and Boney Girl.
Lastly, and I don't really recommend this, but a couple good drunks gave me uninhibited release. I didn't do that right away. It was about 6 months later as I was still struggling to find my new normal.
We just love them and our grief and sorrow seems to be the price for this love. A hundred years together still wouldn't be enough on this earth. The passage of time does eventually help. All of here on TCS know how difficult this is.
I wish for peace and happy memories to fill you soon.
We both have a Xena now making heaven an even more beautiful place. I can't help myself but to share the things I have done and am doing to cope.
The first thing we did was to bury her here at home. My wife and I had a private service for her. She is buried next to Boney Girl. I buried some of their favorite things with them such as toys, blanket, collars and treats. They both have blue stone markers. I cannot leave or come home without going by them. It is nice to be able to go to the last place I saw her. It is nice to maintain the gravesite. I planted spring bulbs and perennials around them. I cut flowers from my gardens, put them in vases and place on site. I visit often and talk to them. Boney has been gone over 4 years and Xena over 2, and I'm still going almost daily. Early on it was multiple times per day.
I talk to folks who understand. That is why we both are at TCS. I ignore those who don't understand.
I have read and reread all the pet loss poetry and writings I could find. They make me cry, but also help me sort feelings and give me the knowledge that I'm not the only one.
I too, fear forgetting memories. So I write. I note everything I can remember. These writings can be very private notes or can be something to share with select people.
I gathered all the pictures and videos I have in one file and backed up multiple ways. Laptop, flash drive, a photo website, some on my phone and some on the catsite and other social media. This ensures that I will always have at least some of them no matter what may happen. I have a spot on the wall where I have my favorite pictures of them.
I lost my dad last year. He had a cat named Chester that my mother has since returned to the original owners. That's a beautiful story for another time. Anyway, the neighbor made a silhouette painting of dad and Chester for each of my family members and this is a wonderful remembrance on our wall of both dad and Chester.
I have their rabies vaccine tags on a necklace I can wear. Wish I had more keepsakes. I suppose I'll never part with my recliner with the shredded foot rest, or will I ever repair some places they scratched where they shouldn't have.
I look at places in the house and yard where they would do things. This sometimes triggers vivid memories.
I posted on the cat page on this site. Links in my signature. This is a great feature and place for expression.
The most surprising thing (at least to myself) I've done was to get memorial tattoos, or rather cattoos. I got color portraits on my chest. There are many possibilities ranging from simple to complex. Could be just a paw print, or a symbol, or something kitty enjoyed or wore, something abstract, her name, a portrait, a scene or ... Placement can be somewhere private or somewhere quite visable. For me it has reinforced that we are together forever. It is a daily reminder of who is important to me. It has strangely brought me a lot of comfort.
As a dumb man, I try to look to science, logic and philosophy to keep my feelings suppressed. I know suppression is not good. I've realized that death is what gives meaning to life and it is a very natural cycle. I've also looked to my faith knowing our animals don't have the free will of man and thus have a free pass to heaven. The lion lays with the lamb that lies with Xena. ( I'm bad with my lies and lays grammar)
I was without a cat for 9 months after Xena left. We went to our local shelter for a $10 adoption event and left with a 3 year old tortie. I was amazed how how much better this made me feel and discovered that I had been needlessly punishing myself. Ziva has done many things that have sparked happy memories of Xena and Boney Girl.
Lastly, and I don't really recommend this, but a couple good drunks gave me uninhibited release. I didn't do that right away. It was about 6 months later as I was still struggling to find my new normal.
We just love them and our grief and sorrow seems to be the price for this love. A hundred years together still wouldn't be enough on this earth. The passage of time does eventually help. All of here on TCS know how difficult this is.
I wish for peace and happy memories to fill you soon.
