Regarding The Fate Of A Feral I Have Kept For 8 Years :(

[BeausMommy16]

Hi.
This is not easy to share...please know that I have thought about it over and over... I feel sad, but am now convinced that the most humane thing for me to do is to have a vet put down a cat I have...

Here is her story:
"Chloe"' was brought in through a cat door by my male cat about 8 years ago now. It happened when I was away. I arrived home and was told by my landlord at the time that my boy kitty brought her in.
Because she would not eat normal cat food then, I hustled and bought kitten formula, but she began to fake nurse off of Beau...I literally had to move her from nipple to nipple as she was very hungry.
I did not know that I should have made her attach to me, though, and she only attached to him, in time. The 3 of us played together, but she was never affectionate during the play times...I just figured she would eventually trust me, but she actually got worse when I met my now husband...as if just adding another set of human feet into her environment set off a pure survival mode in her... I have kept her all these years, even though she spends ever single day behind our bed, and only comes out to use the litter box or eat, or to go onto the back screened lanai.

All of this would be fine and good IF we were planning to stay in our home...but, we will be moving across an ocean...and to a home with no screened lanai...and to an area where she cannot become an outdoor kitty even. Also, I am convinced it would be unethical to try to ship here in a plane, as just getting her into a carrier to go to an occasional vet appt has been hellish for her.

She is getting worse as she ages... sometimes I wonder if she had some brain damage before my cat saved her...she has always seemed 'off'...last time I tried to pick her up, she hissed so wildly and tried to scratch me, and pooped... I read that ferals tend to get worse as they age, so perhaps it is just that, but the reality is that she is at a point in which I cannot keep her because of our move. It is truly impossible.
I know my male cat will miss her...we plan to rescue a small dog after a while in the new home.

THE ONLY option I think she might have to not be put down is if a place called "Rainbow Friends" will accept her with a large donation from us, but I do not know if they will take a cat that cannot ever be adopted out... I called a few weeks back, but the person in charge was not in...they took my info, but I never heard back... kinda makes me think they don't need a cat like her I am not even sure if it is humane to remove her from the only reality she has known... being fed by a human, but being emotionally attached to only another cat... Beau is her mommy in her brain, and I simply provide the food... just 'dumping her' at the pet sanctuary, with ~ 80 cats and also dogs could be traumatic for her, too

Basically, I am very sad about it... and am probably just looking for support about it...
I found this site by googling 'putting a feral cat down'...

I am afraid that others here might think I am unkind... I am not...I have saved many cats, and dogs, along my way... I just didn't know that a kitten could remain feral and attach to another cat... ugh...

Anyone else 'out there' ever have to put down a cat that never could become 'functional'...for its own good?

 

[msaimee]

I don't understand what you mean when you say your cat is not functional. If she is eating, using the litter box, playing, and having an okay life, then she sounds functional to me. Yes, transporting a cat on a plane sounds stressful but there are drugs your vet could prescribe to sedate her for the trip. It is better for her to have a stressful trip and transition to a new home than for her to be euthanized. And 8 years is not old for a cat, my oldest cat is nearly 18.

I suppose you could consider my rescued feral cat, Mia, to not be functional. She had a difficult spay surgery 5 years ago and had temporary organ damage. She nearly died, and I had to syringe feed her for several weeks. She has always seemed a little mentally slow compared to my other cats. During one of her trips to the vet, the vet techs felt something funny in her hip. They took an x-ray and discovered that she had been shot with a gun months before I trapped her. The bullet broke the leg and the leg healed crooked. The bullet is still lodged in her hip and the vet did not feel it was safe to remove it. She walks with a limp and cannot jump very high. She is still very fearful of me and my other four cats, and spends most of her time under my bed. She does play with me with the wand and laser toys. She is not affectionate with me, and the other cat's bully her sometimes but mostly leave her alone. But I really love her and wouldn't give her up for the world. She knows she has been rescued from a harsh life outdoors, and seems content to have a safe life indoors with food available 24/7. So even though she is not what someone may consider be a fully functional cat, she's part of my cat family.

I'm hoping you will reconsider your decision to have your cat euthanized. I just don't think it's necessary. Perhaps you're not convinced it's necessary either, and that's why you are posting on this site. If you decide to take her on your move, there are many people who have gone through that experience who will be able to give you helpful advice and tips. I hope you will stick around

Here is a picture of my Mia

 

[BeausMommy16]

Hi. Thank you so much for replying to my post. Yes, I can see how it might seem that I am trying to not have Chloe put down, but I really am not :I really hoped for someone to reply who had also chosen it as the best thing for a feral like Chloe...just to not feel so alone about this.
I am so happy for your little Mia~ she does not seem anywhere near as 'dysfunctional' as Chloe...
Unfortunately, Chloe would never ever get so close or even sit happily nearby a human for us to be able to get such a photo as you have of Mia.
To answer your question about 'functionality,' she does not play with us ever. She totally quit playing with me once another human entered our world. She barely plays with Beau... actually, it is him trying to play with her now and then. No actual playing goes on.
About trying to have her adapt to a new home... my husband and I are both convinced that she would be 100% miserable without a screened lanai to live on at night. We know this to be true, actually, as we are now in a home we built 2 years ago now...we had to move her into it, and the lanai did not get built, due to permitting issues, for the first 3 months post our move. She cried ALL NIGHT LONG, EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, a horrid, horrid sounding cry... and my husband actually got sick from not getting sleep... VERY SICK...it was truly horrid... eeks, I just remembered the details about why we know she would not be ok without an outside area to escape to...
Although you were not able to convince me to not put her down, I will try VERY hard to see if the non-kill shelter will take her on, with a large donation.
I can tell them that she has no history of trying to attack another cat... when I moved in with my husband, he had a large male cat that tried to attack both of my cats. Mine did not retaliate. Our vet gave me Prozac to try to help him, but he already had a history of not liking other cats and the Prozac only made him more comfortable about doing it, so we made him into our store's cat... where he happily keeps dogs out, and gets all the attention.

Well... I now believe the no-kill is her best shot at a happy existence if they will take a non-adoptable cat. If they will not, due to her behavior issues, we will connect with a local vet to see what they recommend. Perhaps there is an option I have not thought of?
Actually, while typing this, I JUST NOW thought of a possible option... finding her a new home without another cat? Perhaps a single person? What are the chances, though? She is anti-people... ugh... she might never allow anyone to touch her without putting up a chase/fight...
Thank you very much for taking the time to share. I wish Chloe could know how much we have loved her, and how much strangers want her to have a happy life, too...perhaps she would feel safer and welcome human contact... God bless you.

 

[vyger]

I have no idea where you are in the world and because of that don't know all the options. But I had a problem arise that had some elements close to yours. A very pregnant and very disagreeable cat was dumped here some years ago. She fought with all the other cats and got even worse after her kittens were born. I had to keep them all locked up in a separate building to prevent the fights. She was OK with people but not cats. And her kittens turned out to not like people to much either. I Advertised in the paper and the local radio station and found her a farm home where she and her kittens could live and spend their days hunting mice and other problem animals. The people were delighted to get them, her and all five kittens. They did not intend on them being inside house cats although it wouldn't surprise me if that's what happened at least with some of them. So sometimes even problem cats can have a good life if their niche can be found. When they have feral cats that can't be socialized they return them to the colony they came from. Sometimes they eventually become social and can find homes.

By the way, from a purely practical side adopting her out to someone or some place won't cost you anything but having her put to sleep by a vet will. And you yourself will feel a lot better about the entire thing in the future when you reflect back on it. This is the kind of thing that can come back to haunt you later in life.

 

[trudy1]

Wow eight years is a long time for both of you. I’ve euthanized cats for health reasons, aggressive behavior, etc. over my long life. Not a lot, but more than I care to think about. But therein lies the problem, at least for me. Even though they were gone I never could shed that feeling of guilt. I mean I don’t obsess about it but occasionally one of them will creep back into my thoughts. It’s always been kind of a broken trust thing. I’m not saying this will happen to you...it’s just a “been there, done that” from me to you. I don’t envy you the decision but I would echo what the others have said...adoption, placement in a no kill or barn cat program would probably provide better long term memories....since you are obviously an animal person.

Wish for you wisdom and love in what ever you decide.

 

[BeausMommy16]

Thank you so much...some tears came to my eyes...
Yes, I know I would have sadness at times, but the main decision is coming down to what is right for Chloe, and not what will make me feel better... I am not sure how I feel about placing her in a no-kill situation, in terms of her own comfort in it... but I am tending to feel better about it than trying to find some person I do not know who might want to add on a feral that will never allow her to touch her, and who might not keep Chloe indoors... we have stray dogs in the area that could run off a feral or make her life miserable. I am actually feeling like I am growing up over this...
No one I know would ever have kept this cat in the manner I have...because she was a kitten, albeit a nutty kitten, I kept her, and sadly assumed she would be ok, in time...
There is a part of me that already feels I ruined her life somehow... but, I need to forgive myself over it all... I really did not know better. Education around what to do with a stray feral kitten would have helped her and me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OK...progress: I just called the no-kill shelter again and talked with a nicer person this time...she heard Chloe's whole story and said they would be willing to take her if I cannot find another possibility. She understood all I told her about Chloe.
I will call back in about 3 weeks to see if I can begin the process of getting her in there. They have 3 cateries (sp?), that lead to outside closed-in areas.
I cried while on the phone...it is so hard to accept that this is Chloe's destiny, but it is the only one that I know she can live out her life in and not be terrified. She WILL feel some terror as she gets used to it and she will miss Beauby terribly, but I imagine she will find another cat to feel close with...
It does seem the right thing to do for her... definitely better than moving her to live in a box... as we already know she will go 'insane' again if we try
I will focus now on feeling happy for her being welcome at the no kill shelter when the time is right.
Thank you for replying, and listening.
God bless you.

 

[Furballsmom]

I just called the no-kill shelter again and talked with a nicer person this time...she heard Chloe's whole story and said they would be willing to take her if I cannot find another possibility. She understood all I told her about Chloe.

!!YES!! ...As I was reading through the thread, I was thinking "I'm going to suggest that...
I'm keeping you all in my thoughts

 

[BeausMommy16]

Thank you so much xo

 

[BeausMommy16]

Here is a rare daytime photo of Chloe, the cat on the left. This is the closest she will let anyone get to her. She is seen here lounging on our last lanai...that is her 'daddy' next to her, the gray and white kitty ~ Beau.
We thank you for helping us figure out the very best scenario for Miss Chloe Patra Kitten (that is her full name.) Thank you also for helping me deal with the grief... the guilt is fading now... she will eventually no longer live behind a bed...and will never be in harm's way...so I can find peace of soul about her...
I guess a lot of this really was about my being able to accept that even though she cannot go with us when we move, she can still have a decent life...maybe even a fun one, with all of the new kitties she will get to know.
Blessings to all here!

 

[Furballsmom]

And to you!

 

[trudy1]

It will be alright. When you do remember her, and you will, she will be warm and well fed.....and I’m praying for someone special for her!

Thanks for giving her life....

 

[BeausMommy16]

Thanks so much for your supportive reply.

 

[jsbatlanta1]

Hi.
This is not easy to share...please know that I have thought about it over and over... I feel sad, but am now convinced that the most humane thing for me to do is to have a vet put down a cat I have...

Here is her story:
"Chloe"' was brought in through a cat door by my male cat about 8 years ago now. It happened when I was away. I arrived home and was told by my landlord at the time that my boy kitty brought her in.
Because she would not eat normal cat food then, I hustled and bought kitten formula, but she began to fake nurse off of Beau...I literally had to move her from nipple to nipple as she was very hungry.
I did not know that I should have made her attach to me, though, and she only attached to him, in time. The 3 of us played together, but she was never affectionate during the play times...I just figured she would eventually trust me, but she actually got worse when I met my now husband...as if just adding another set of human feet into her environment set off a pure survival mode in her... I have kept her all these years, even though she spends ever single day behind our bed, and only comes out to use the litter box or eat, or to go onto the back screened lanai.

All of this would be fine and good IF we were planning to stay in our home...but, we will be moving across an ocean...and to a home with no screened lanai...and to an area where she cannot become an outdoor kitty even. Also, I am convinced it would be unethical to try to ship here in a plane, as just getting her into a carrier to go to an occasional vet appt has been hellish for her.

She is getting worse as she ages... sometimes I wonder if she had some brain damage before my cat saved her...she has always seemed 'off'...last time I tried to pick her up, she hissed so wildly and tried to scratch me, and pooped... I read that ferals tend to get worse as they age, so perhaps it is just that, but the reality is that she is at a point in which I cannot keep her because of our move. It is truly impossible.
I know my male cat will miss her...we plan to rescue a small dog after a while in the new home.

THE ONLY option I think she might have to not be put down is if a place called "Rainbow Friends" will accept her with a large donation from us, but I do not know if they will take a cat that cannot ever be adopted out... I called a few weeks back, but the person in charge was not in...they took my info, but I never heard back... kinda makes me think they don't need a cat like her I am not even sure if it is humane to remove her from the only reality she has known... being fed by a human, but being emotionally attached to only another cat... Beau is her mommy in her brain, and I simply provide the food... just 'dumping her' at the pet sanctuary, with ~ 80 cats and also dogs could be traumatic for her, too

Basically, I am very sad about it... and am probably just looking for support about it...
I found this site by googling 'putting a feral cat down'...

I am afraid that others here might think I am unkind... I am not...I have saved many cats, and dogs, along my way... I just didn't know that a kitten could remain feral and attach to another cat... ugh...

Anyone else 'out there' ever have to put down a cat that never could become 'functional'...for its own good?

I went through something similar (without the impending move) & felt very guilty about it, but I made the decision for the sake of the cats that predated the feral moving in. He was a parking lot cat I adopted & kept for 2 years, but his behaviors were getting worse--peeing on everything (yes, he was neutered) & aggression toward the other cats, particularly one, who had been reduced to living in a dark closet & barely coming out to eat. He was only attached to me & I knew he would never rehome. So I did have him euthanized. We do the best we can. I think it's more humane than taking it to a shelter or God forbid releasing it on its own, which I'm sure some people might do.

 

[msaimee]

There are people in the country in many areas who will take a feral cat as a barn cat. Before anyone makes the decision to euthanize, there are options that can be explored, and this site is a great place to find resources and ideas.

 

[msaimee]

If anyone in the future reads this thread, I want to add a few things.

First, if a cat begins to urinate outside of the litter box, don't assume it is a behavioral issue. At least half of the time, the cat has a urinary tract infection, which can easily be treated with antibiotics. If the pet owner is unable to afford a vet visit, antibiotics can be purchased over the internet. Fish Mox is available without a prescription, it is amoxicillin. It is used to treat infections in aquarium fish, but can also be used for cats, dogs, and humans. It is very inexpensive.

Second, there are some Humane Societies that have foster care programs for feral cats and domesticated cats with behavioral issues. I have a neighbor who works with them and fosters feral kittens and feral young cats. Don't assume that shelters will automatically euthanize a feral cat, or cat with behavioral problems. Call, talk, ask, advocate.

Third, don't make the assumption that no one would be willing to take in your cat. I can guarantee you that if someone on my block was planning on euthanizing a cat because of behavioral problems, one of us would take him in. If we couldn't take him inside our homes, we would care for him as an outside cat. We would feed him and provide him with a heated shelter, and if he was sick or injured, we would take him into a safe room in our house. We would try to socialize him to the point of finding him a home. And we have done this many times.

Euthanization of a healthy cat because he is a feral cat, semi-feral, or stray or domesticated cat with behavioral issues, should be the very last resort. I'm not trying to make anyone feel badly. I am trying to advocate for these animals. Some of the folks on this site have spent hundreds and even thousands of dollars trying to rehabilitate cats who have been shot, tortured, injured, or diagnosed with illness and disease. And we have seen miracles and transformations with time and patience. We can't save every cat, but we can sure try, and we can save at least some of them.

 

[BeausMommy16]

I went through something similar (without the impending move) & felt very guilty about it, but I made the decision for the sake of the cats that predated the feral moving in. He was a parking lot cat I adopted & kept for 2 years, but his behaviors were getting worse--peeing on everything (yes, he was neutered) & aggression toward the other cats, particularly one, who had been reduced to living in a dark closet & barely coming out to eat. He was only attached to me & I knew he would never rehome. So I did have him euthanized. We do the best we can. I think it's more humane than taking it to a shelter or God forbid releasing it on its own, which I'm sure some people might do.

Hi there~
I fully believe you did the right thing.
It is not easy to make these decisions. Only the person who has made the efforts to help the cat can know what it best... can truly know if an animal would suffer further if kept alive.
It does not make me happy to think of Chloe in the no kill shelter for the rest of her days... especially because she is SO attached to our male cat. I have even contemplated giving them both up, somehow... but that would be horrid for him...he is as attached to me as she is to him...
I have decided there is no 'good' decision.. only one that can give her a shot at perhaps being happy... part of me is still struggling with the fact that once I bring her there, I cannot get her out...
If she spends the rest of her life hissing at other cats and in fear, I cannot reverse it...
Thank you for your reply. It helped me face this more squarely for what it is... a decision in which there is no 'win,' only hope that she will actually enjoy her life among a bunch of cats, many of which will be coming and going, and she will not
I am seriously needing to spend more time thinking this over...
Perhaps a trip to the shelter will help me decide...
THANK YOU, again!!
I 100% know you did the right thing. Once a cat is kept in a home for so long, and loved, it can be quite inhumane to release it into the wild or into a shelter, even if it is no kill...
I know I will know my answer once I go and see where she would live...
I have only been there once before, about 8 years ago, to bring two puppies I found with a donation. The pups got adopted out fast... I never saw the cat area..
God bless you.

 

[BeausMommy16]

If anyone in the future reads this thread, I want to add a few things.

First, if a cat begins to urinate outside of the litter box, don't assume it is a behavioral issue. At least half of the time, the cat has a urinary tract infection, which can easily be treated with antibiotics. If the pet owner is unable to afford a vet visit, antibiotics can be purchased over the internet. Fish Mox is available without a prescription, it is amoxicillin. It is used to treat infections in aquarium fish, but can also be used for cats, dogs, and humans. It is very inexpensive.

Second, there are some Humane Societies that have foster care programs for feral cats and domesticated cats with behavioral issues. I have a neighbor who works with them and fosters feral kittens and feral young cats. Don't assume that shelters will automatically euthanize a feral cat, or cat with behavioral problems. Call, talk, ask, advocate.

Third, don't make the assumption that no one would be willing to take in your cat. I can guarantee you that if someone on my block was planning on euthanizing a cat because of behavioral problems, one of us would take him in. If we couldn't take him inside our homes, we would care for him as an outside cat. We would feed him and provide him with a heated shelter, and if he was sick or injured, we would take him into a safe room in our house. We would try to socialize him to the point of finding him a home. And we have done this many times.

Euthanization of a healthy cat because he is a feral cat, semi-feral, or stray or domesticated cat with behavioral issues, should be the very last resort. I'm not trying to make anyone feel badly. I am trying to advocate for these animals. Some of the folks on this site have spent hundreds and even thousands of dollars trying to rehabilitate cats who have been shot, tortured, injured, or diagnosed with illness and disease. And we have seen miracles and transformations with time and patience. We can't save every cat, but we can sure try, and we can save at least some of them.

Thank you for your reply, and the added info.
I agree that many cats can be saved from euthanasia. I have only ever needed to have one feral put down...I lived in a beach area and found a litter across the road in an empty lot... I brought them to a vet that adopted them out for me. I trapped the mother to get her fixed, but she went wild in the vets' office, clawing through very thick leather gloves and literally circling the room onto the ceiling etc... he somehow put her down... saying he could not possibly manage to fix her since she was just so feral - perhaps because she was looking for her kittens? I don't know... I just recall that I was much younger then and was just grateful to see the kittens adopted out.
Now that I am older, I feel much more attached to all animals...

In any case, I will be sure to do the right thing for Chloe...
We have SO MANY strays here... it makes it unsafe to release a cat into the wild here...although I know MOST people would, just to avoid the guilt... I think it would be incredibly inhumane to do so in our area

Oh well... I will see how the shelter looks... it is truly her best chance, as long as it is not looking like a disaster...
Thanks for the added info. I imagine it will help to save a few more kitties.
God bless you.

 

[BeausMommy16]

There are people in the country in many areas who will take a feral cat as a barn cat. Before anyone makes the decision to euthanize, there are options that can be explored, and this site is a great place to find resources and ideas.

I understand...
Sadly, in our area, Chloe would be in great danger of being harmed by other ferals... we tried to have her be an outdoor kitty years ago now, and she came back home with her back slit open. I was amazed we could save her with surgery...
This kitty has had ever opportunity... and sadly lives in an area with many ferals... not to mention MANY fire ants, that blind all outdoor cats.
She already has eye damage from that time

I am really glad to hear that this site has resources... if you would like to tag on the specifics about those, please do.
THANKS, and God bless you.

 

[BeausMommy16]

Update: To everyone who replied with imploring me to not have Chloe put down, I think it all must have resonated with me, as I was able to find, with the help of an animal sanctuary, someone who would take both cats and be okay with the idea of both my cats living in a totally different environment than I have bern providing...they will be having a ‘grand adventure’ as the new person put it. They will be indoor-outdoor cats, and will be getting beef heart for meals... because the new person is allergic to the taurine in cat food and reacts to it in tueir fur...
She sees cats as working animals...they will be chasing rats...and no longer living the probably ‘way too comfy life’ I created for them.
It has not been an easy to make the decision...especially because I worry a lot...and always thought I would never, ever ‘give them away.’...
I still have time with them, as we decided to not move them until afte July 4th, due to the area becoming a bit of a ‘war zone,’ with fireworks... the worst part for me is trying to not imagine them dying in the woods somewhere, but it seems more and more nutty that I focus on this...because they will actually truly have a grand adventure at this property they will be living at... 2 acres of fun, really...a pond with talpia for them to watch, a bird in a cage, chickens, that I am happy to know they will not try to kill- as we lived next door to chickens before and they left them alone...3 differnt homes to roam in and out of...and at least 4 adults that all are onboard with welcoming them.
Perhaps it is just me who is too attached to them... lots of emotional growth going on lately...for many more reasons than parting with these little loves...my mom just passed, amd we live only 10 miles from the enormous lava outbreak on island...and I have to move in about 8 weeks time. So many huge changes and challenges lately...this one thing has been hanging heavily on my heart, and it is time to let it go and accept that this is truly a loving decision for Chloe and Beauby.
Anyway, I came back on to say thank you to all who replied, even those who supported me with the idea of possibly putting Chloe down. She may not survive the change well, she may freak out and go missing...I hope not. but if it happens, I cannot beat myself up over it...she will have a shot at a happy life, and I will focus on that...and Beau will get to enjoy being in nature again.
Adopting both cats out to this new person, even if she is not going to coddle them like I have, is truly a loving choice...and I will just have to live with the reality that I do not get to protect them forever... gee, sounds like a mother of human kids... sigh. Thanks, again, everyone.

 

[Furballsmom]